Drunk / High Thread

I have a bottle of Jeppson's Malört, because BumWine.com gave it such a glowing review:
Jeppson's Malört
35% alc. by vol.

This foul Sweedish liquor seems to be indigenous to Chicago. The word "Malört" means wormwood in Sweedish. The tag line on the label says it all, "Most first-time drinkers of Jeppson Malort reject our liquor. Its strong, sharp taste is not for everyone. Our liquor is rugged and unrelenting (even brutal) to the palate. During almost 60 years of American distribution, we found only 1 out of 49 men will drink Jeppson Malort. During the lifetime of our founder, Carl Jeppson was apt to say, 'My Malort is produced for that unique group of drinkers who disdain light flavor or neutral spirits.' It is not possible to forget our two-fisted liquor. The taste just lingers and lasts - seemingly forever. The first shot is hard to swallow! PERSERVERE [sic]. Make it past two 'shock-glasses' and with the third you could be ours...forever." People write in to us claiming that the flavor is a mixture of tussin, nail polish remover, gasoline, bug spray, varnish remover, grapefruit rinds, corn syrupand metal with a hint of herbs. The taste powerfully lingers for at least ten minutes. While it's certainly worthy of mention as "quirky, disgusting booze," at $15-$20 a fifth, it's definitely not the drink of choice for Chicago bums. It's mostly bottom-shelf pints of liquor instead of that wormwood-infused flower of the Jeppson company.
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However, apparently it's very difficult to find outside of the Chicago area. Like you see a big mess of pins in the Chicago area, and then almost nothing. However, lucky for me, there's a few pins in the Baltimore/DC area. So when I was in DC today, I grabbed a bottle. (Because of Maryland's goofy liquor laws, I can't have liquor shipped to me.)

It's very strange. It's like extract of random aromatics that you'd season a steak with. It goes down easier than I thought it would, but then again, I also drink straight vodka, so maybe my iron esophagus is helping there.

Brb, time to get another drinky poo :bluelabel:
 
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AnOminous said:
Isn't this considered one of the vilest drinks in existence?
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Reportedly, yes.

It really does linger. My puke is going to taste like wormwood tomorrow.

Although it has less of a burn than other drinks I usually have, so I'm not too phased. If I didn't have to drag my ass down to DC to buy it, I'd keep it regularly stocked in the house, if only to serve to guests for a laugh.

Also it's the only liquor I've got in the house right now, so I'm going to go get a bit more when I get a chance.
 
Marvin said:
Reportedly, yes.

It really does linger. My puke is going to taste like wormwood tomorrow.
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Wormwood is a major flavor in absinthe, though, and I like it in that. I've done shots of absinthe straight and enjoyed it, without the fancy hipster bullshit of those slotted spoons and other nonsense.

I've never had the courage to drink Malort, though.
 
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AnOminous said:
Wormwood is a major flavor in absinthe, though, and I like it in that. I've done shots of absinthe straight and enjoyed it, without the fancy hipster bullshit of those slotted spoons and other nonsense.

I've never had the courage to drink Malort, though.
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I tried to bring some Absinthe home recently but I left it in JFK airport by accident :(

But yeah, I don't know what I'm tasting. With most booze, I rarely have any tastes linger after I've had chasers. This just tastes sour and gross.

Does Sweden taste like this? I'm gonna imagine it tastes like this. Nowadays, anyway.
 
MakeItRain said:
(@Jackass RN tell me more about your homemade syrups please)
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A normal simple syrup base. 1/1 sugar/water. For small batches, I'll leave whatever flavoring in the pot while it boils. Or I'll do a large batch and leave the flavoring in the mason jar it gets stored in, and then just pour the plain syrup in each. Much quicker to do it this way, but some flavors don't work as well.
I have mint, lavender, cinnamon, coffee, rosemary, sage, and chili ready. Delicious.
 
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Jackass RN said:
A normal simple syrup base. 1/1 sugar/water. For small batches, I'll leave whatever flavoring in the pot while it boils. Or I'll do a large batch and leave the flavoring in the mason jar it gets stored in, and then just pour the plain syrup in each. Much quicker to do it this way, but some flavors don't work as well.
I have mint, lavender, cinnamon, coffee, rosemary, sage, and chili ready. Delicious.
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Oh man. I like to make Arnold Palmers out of homemade lemonade and sweet tea vodka; looks like my weekend project might need to be stripping the lemon tree and experimenting with some lavender and mint simple syrups.
 
MakeItRain said:
Oh man. I like to make Arnold Palmers out of homemade lemonade and sweet tea vodka; looks like my weekend project might need to be stripping the lemon tree and experimenting with some lavender and mint simple syrups.
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Mint simple syrups go amazingly well in sours also. If you're into that stuff.
 
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lmnZynkh.jpg
*yawn*
 
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My husband and I burned through the last of what may be the best strain name yet: Pink Bearded Shark.

This time we got some Super Silver Haze from our local pot shop, and enjoying that with some of Ninkasi's Spring Reign.

That site really likes using the phrase "very Northwest" to describe the flavor....

ETA: Holy shit @Marvin I'm jealous of that piece.
 
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https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-it-normal-to-have-a-sjw-fetish.18666/

This thread is so fucking funny.

I'm also watching Chappelle's Show. This man knows how to do comedy.

Petronella said:
My first time was with a Craigslist prostitute. When I showed up I realized she'd been smoking pot so I had to go huff hand sanitizer so I wouldn't get triggered, but after that we had such a good time that I even got her a lovely gift basket.
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This post is excessively amusing to me.
 
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u kno wut tyme it iz #420 #legealaiazeit #fukobeme
 
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