DSP Plays Balding Gate 3

[RedGermaine]

Larian has been doing this sort of thing since the first Divinity Original Sin and it's commendable. I've been playing cRPGs since I was a kid and the older ones just didn't allow for such clever way of giving yourself an edge in encounters. Usually that kinda thing would be reserved for squad-based tactical RPGs like Jagged Alliance or Silent Storm.

With mixed results mind you, I still remember how you had to have your entire party with Geo 4 for the perk to be immune to region effects for an area in act 2 of Original Sin 1 lest you be slowed forever

 

[Corpun]

Will we see a return of 'accessibility' when Phil drops this game and rants about it? He loved misusing that term all the time when talking about games with handholding.

It really does. I don't want to be that guy, and I'm not. But I do think Larian leans a bit too hard on to expecting people to do that kind of thing. Which, as a strategic genius stroke dipshit, I miss a lot of those. And then if I get too clever and find something that doesn't work (a problem I had with both Original Sin games) then I just never know. So I'm just bitching, but I wish they'd scale down a little bit not expecting people to rube goldberg their way through a fight. I'm just really good at coming up with a good party dammit.

On the bright side Herr Goutler is too pig-headed to ever try any of these insanely cheesey but fun ways to deal with enemies and boss fights and shit. All of these bizarre and creative ways to deal with enemies are way too complex for his IQ.

 

[JimiHendrix]

just rolled out of bed after an obnoxious night. time for some chill bald gate vibes.

Spoiler: Belly Gate 3

had to make breakfast so i'm coming in a little late. phil is fighting the bugbear assassin in druids grove.

"why only a 20% chance when he's standing in front of me?"

same reason it's harder to shoot someone point blank at times.

"i don't have any good attacks, al i have is magic missile."

phil just missed all 4 attacks in a row. this bugbear assassin is gonna clean house.

"why even play? no i mean it, why even play the game?"

he just missed another 2 attacks and is going apeshit. if only he had some kind of spell to hold an enemy in place.

phil didn't even save the assassination target either. rip in piss nadira.

phil thinks you can't use Speak with Dead on a corpse unless the corpse is glowing, which isn't true.

he does not like this game.

"i dont like a game where you can miss 10 turns in a row when it says you either have equal odds or advantageous odds"

phil is just implied the game is only making him miss so much because he's DSP and he doesn't like that. I'm not joking, that's what he just implied. direct quote "you have to think at some point fortune is going to turn in your favor, and the game says no, screw you because your name is darksydephil you can get wrecked"

reminder that phil said he wants dice to be random and therefore won't use karmic dice, he's now mad that dice are random.

"let's quicksave before we do this, it sounds like something is going to happen if we talk to this ox"

man literally afraid of a cow.

he is just running around the Druids Grove talking to every single animal. that's been the last 40 minutes.

oh, Raphael is here. I didn't know he could appear in Druids Grove.

phil is now talking over Alfira's musical scene and saying he can't hear it, he's now singing over it to make sure no one else can hear it either. "they fucked it up, there's no subtitles either, genius, game of the year."

"was there a point to doing that? did we advance any plots? i don't get it"

yeah, fuck interacting with NPCs just to be immersed in the world. if i don't get a reward or see progress go up it's dogshit.

phil has found the harpies.

fucked up commanding lae-zel to jump because he still doesn't understand how it works.

"there are too many factors, it's way too complex and over complicated, it's super unfun for a new comer like me who doesn't know what they're doing. it's frustrating as shit"

phil how do you think anyone played this game? everyone who played this was a new comer. it was a new game. like, how do you think people play new games?

"you see this? you literally can't play this game, you just can't."

he's REALLY mad over the % chance to hit targets. I'd transcript it but some work stuff dropped rn, just believe me, he's mad.

"this is starting to piss me off at this point, this is really stupid."

"i have not had a single thing in my favor. it's been 5 turns and i haven't hit anything, so why am i even playing? i might as well not play. i'm really at a loss as to why this is supposed to be so good when all my moves just miss. what am i playing for?"

"why am i playing? i really want to know why i'm playing when nothing works."

"you literally can't move, standing next to the enemy, and it's a 55% chance to hit? it's so fucking weird."

he thinks being next to someone should be a 100% hit rate, for some reason.

"HOW AM I LURED? WE BROKE THE LURE? WAIT. WHAAAAAAAT?"

you hit the caster, you didn't break her concentration though. phils entire party is falling under the harpies spell and he's hollering.

"this is fucking TERRIBLE. it's seriously terrible. this is my honest opinion, a game where you're supposed to have advantage and you constantly miss is not good. this is not fun to play."

"miss miss miss, great combat. oh, critical hit on shadowheart, that's great."

"i don't understand this game at all guys, i don't get it. i don't think i want to get it. it's just ridiculously unfair. it's so unfair. i missed? people are telling me i missed, i didn't even know i missed. i had no clue."

phil summoned a clone, then shoved it by accident and killed it. he then started hissing and spitting at the screen. "WHAT A GREAT GAME, I TARGETTED HER, PRESSED X ON HER, AND SHE SHOVED HER OWN CLONE INSTEAD. WHAT A GREAT GAME. WOW. I'M REALLY HAVING FUN NOW."

"i've been doing this fight for 26 minutes and it's trash, it's complete trash. this is shit, everything misses, it's not my fault if i can't tel lwhat works or doesn't tell me what works. it's like i need to know every little thing about the game to win a simple fight like this. i'm sorry, this is fucked up. it pisses me off and for good reason, i'm trying to be fair and i feel lik i have been very fair this playthrough at this point, but this is shit right now."

god i'm glad i'm not low IQ, living life like phil seems miserable.

yelling at chat for telling him to turn karmic dice on.

after about 32 minutes phil has defeated the harpy fight.

"oh my god, that was way way way way too frustrating for an early game fight. it just was. that was an early game fight and it was set up to be the most frustrating thing ever. it only took me 40 minutes for that fight, almost a third of my stream for one fight."

either play better or stream longer. skill issue.

"how is that fun? that's just nails on a chalkboard frustrating."

"no, the game doesn't need to be on very easy, it needs to be fair. it was a surprise fight you had no idea was going to happen and then all those chances that should have been in my favor shouldn't have missed."

so, phil wants to know all fights that are coming up ahead of time and he also wants to have advantage in all fights.

phil is whining that talking to his NPCs and stuff isn't giving him rewards like EXP instead of just more lore/interactions.

refuses to long rest because he doesn't want to lose speak with animals buff.

still saving before every single encounter.

phil has stumbled into the hag swamp and fans are screaming at him to retreat, so he is.

had to get up in the last 30 minutes, but i doubt i missed anything of value considering where he was. highlight of the stream was harpie fight. see you kids next time.

 

[Corpun]

"i dont like a game where you can miss 10 turns in a row when it says you either have equal odds or advantageous odds"

phil is just implied the game is only making him miss so much because he's DSP and he doesn't like that. I'm not joking, that's what he just implied. direct quote "you have to think at some point fortune is going to turn in your favor, and the game says no, screw you because your name is darksydephil you can get wrecked"

Man he really doesn't understand RNG after how many hours in so far? I'm gonna have to go back to the KOTOR TIHYDP because I am 100% positive I was getting annoyed at him bitching how attacks were misses in that game too.

This is going to be a fucking legendary TIHYDP even if it will be a 10+ hour mess of a video.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

I noticed that Phil has Laezel using a sword and board. She has built in bonuses for great weapons(2hs).

 

[Fapcop]

"i have not had a single thing in my favor. it's been 5 turns and i haven't hit anything, so why am i even playing? i might as well not play. i'm really at a loss as to why this is supposed to be so good when all my moves just miss. what am i playing for?"

This is such a childish coping mechanism that you often see Phil use.

Like when he’s getting bodied in SF, puts down his controller, crosses his arms and goes: “Yeah, you’re so good! Ahma just not gonna play since the game doesn’t respond to mah inputs and you’re just mashing buttons!”

Or when he gets the gout kicked out of him in COD, and starts spamming the in game, reset button while yelling that: “The game is SO DELAYED, he’s NOT going to waste time on it!”

It’s annoying and kinda pathetic when you see a six year old do it, since he should have grown out of it already. But when it’s a man in his forties, I just have no words.

(And like with many things Phil: It’s doubly annoying since you can never be sure if he’s legit retarded, didn’t get told NO! enough as a kid or both.)

 

[Whaler]

phil has stumbled into the hag swamp and fans are screaming at him to retreat, so he is.

Lame, really wanted to see the results of that.

I noticed that Phil has Laezel using a sword and board. She has built in bonuses for great weapons(2hs).

I noticed that too but never thought much of because of just how stupid he is, he could easily just slap a Polearm on her and get better results.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

I noticed that Phil has Laezel using a sword and board. She has built in bonuses for great weapons(2hs).

To be fair, I had Bae'Zel using dual long swords until act 2 when I backtracked to the creche and got a bunch of gear which actually made me read through her character sheet. Even when I had her built like ass she was killing everything she hit on her turn. But, I don't read guides or watch videos about the game so I legitimately know nothing about it. Now that I've actually put some thought into her build and rerolled her she's killing two things on her turn. She hates me though because I banged her and then left her for shadowheart.

 

[Very Honest Content]

The narc ego copium abuse will lead to a retroactive claim that Phil did everything correct, he did nothing wrong, in the fight, and the fact the game attempted to cheat him out of an early victory but ultimately failed at it proves he's a good player at a game he doesn't understand by Friday's stream. If you like low iq rage from your pigroach though, this was the stream for you of the year.

Also, don't sleep on the post fight rant about being told by a thanks for the money dummy contribution sender that he was instructed to use a beatstick build instead of a slow start spell caster because the early game is easier if all you have to do is strength bonus your way through the game as is the pigroach's inherent nature when playing a game not made for children. The implied "you're too fucking dumb to win easily enough for your man-baby rage liking until level 5 and up with magic classes," really rustled his low-IQ jimmies. He still has no clue what AC is and how it effects combat and unless some wheelchair'd dent pays to explain it in detail, never will.

 

[myone]

Lame, really wanted to see the results of that.

Sadly, what an actual TIHYDP run without chat hand-holding would look like is relegated to our vivid imaginations. The tard rages are already way over the top with having advance warning of everything, crazy to think what it could look like without any guidance. On the other hand back in the day, he'd probably just have bought a guide. At least that would've forced him to do some extra homework before every stream.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Sadly, what an actual TIHYDP run without chat hand-holding would look like is relegated to our vivid imaginations. The tard rages are already way over the top with having advance warning of everything, crazy to think what it could look like without any guidance. On the other hand back in the day, he'd probably just have bought a guide. At least that would've forced him to do some extra homework before every stream.

Without handholding, he would have quit BG3 by the 2nd stream. He hates RPGs like this, he doesn't want to learn how to play anything, he hates the dice roll chance system.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

Without handholding, he would have quit BG3 by the 2nd stream. He hates RPGs like this, he doesn't want to learn how to play anything, he hates the dice roll chance system.

He hates it in combat. But the addict perks the fuck up when he gets to roll dice, it's the only parts of the streams where he seems to enjoy himself. Probably triggers his inner gambler hard

 

[Corpun]

He hates it in combat. But the addict perks the fuck up when he gets to roll dice, it's the only parts of the streams where he seems to enjoy himself. Probably triggers his inner gambler hard

100%. He was just as giddy and trying to find some math equation or some shit with actual gambling minigames. He legitimately treats the skill check dice rolling as gambling for some reason when it's literally just a dice roll based on your skills. I'm actually amazed he didn't gamble in Vegas the few times he visited.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

I'm actually amazed he didn't gamble in Vegas the few times he visited.

I might be confused here but I think that the last time I heard him talking about it he said that he did gamble there.

I simply refuse to believe that he didn't get fucked hard by the house in Vegas. This mongoloid is the type they make a living off.

 

[myone]

I might be confused here but I think that the last time I heard him talking about it he said that he did gamble there.

Yeah, pretty sure I remember him telling a story how he was up a couple of hundred bucks, but then lost it all because he kept playing.

 

[clothes in my closet]

Seems like this game is going the way of Elden Ring - each stream being supported by one, maybe two, massive whale tips from complete randoms or names that are effectively anonymous. I'm starting to think that Phil's decision to play this game has less to do with the Game Awards, and more to do with some sort of well timed arrangement, behind the scenes.

 

[Freebird]

We have reached Level 4. This is how long it took.Ee
Edit: his only weakness

 

[JimiHendrix]

alright boys, it's time again.

Spoiler: big belly gate 3

one minute man sent phil a 60 page essay guide on how to open the Necronomicon, get a good sword for Karlach and beat the Phase Spider. phil read it and said he won't remember it and you need to tip him and tell him when he's in the situation.

phil just said "some people have a photogenic memory"

"when i played cyberpunk 2077 at launch i didn't like it, but i didn't dislike it for the reasons other people didn't like it. I didn't like it because I didn't like the game. CP77 felt like a bunch of stolen ideas from other games slapped together even though nothing was original. the gameplay was boarderlands and deus ex, the main plot line is ok, some of the side plots are outstanding. tons of the missions were boring poorly written badly executed not fun. half the companions are boring and stupid. a lot of them are meant to be a stupid object of people lusting over them, it's dumb. i don't like the universe of Cyberpunk, it's obnoxious. the first few hours are maybe interesting but when you're at hour 20 but when you see the giant robot with the robot cock, it's not funny, it's not pertinent, it's just boring. the game to me just gets fucking boring as shit after awhile. i thought it was a badly designed game. it has nothing to do with the game being buggy or glitchy. so unless phantom liberty has changed the entire lore of the world and the entire game and is a different genre without the same boring tropes over and over. they would've had to redo that game from the ground up for me to have any interest in me playing it again. all i've heard is they fixed it to be a more polished experience and i don't care because i didn't like it. im not going to waste time going back to something i dont like"

i know it's not BG3 related but i wanted to transcribe it because i actually really like cyberpunk. I think the universe and lore is fascinating. things like the Blackwall and the Corpo wars. I just legitimately think it's one of the most fascinating fictional worlds i've ever seen with really impressive world building. but phil doesn't like it because icky sex.

someone points out that phil not giving cyberpunk a second chance is the same as people not giving him a second chance, so why does he say people should?

"they haven't redesigned the game from the ground up to be a different game now. my commentary is different, i don't do the dumb immature shit i used to do, i've matured in that regard, my content is meaningful now and i'm wiser. only 1% of peopel watching my content is kids. are you telling me that cyberpunk decided to change their entire game for a different audience? no."

they actually kinda did redesign the game from the ground up. like the amount of shit we've gotten for Cyberpunk in free DLC is sequel worthy. added in a new transport system with the Metro, new apartments, entirely new skill tree, i truly think playing cyberpunk on release and playing cyberpunk now is almost an entirely different game. if they had swapped out the story with the DLC additions they've added, it could very well pass as a sequel.

phil has begun gameplay at 1:56 gameplay, despite claiming his podcast ends at 1:30

phil is now begging his chat to tell him when to long rest.

phil has found the sex barn.

"there's definitely something going on there and i am not comfortable checking it out without doing a rest first. i think i'm going to rest now. there might be a boss fight or something."

"isn't this a little bit of a spoiler because you can see the different (camp) areas before you have the characters?"

what

"what the fuck is going on"

phil is fighting the menu again.

"you see how complicated this is? i'm in a menu, all i want to do is see their affinity and i need them in my party first? it's WAY too complicated in my opinion"

gale is also dying of Arcane Hunger but phil hasn't noticed.

struggled with figuring out how to full rest, instead of just pressing triangle.

now Astarion is here to suck him off.

phil has denied Astarion's request to suck him while having this weird awkward smile the entire time.

sex barn time.

the people fucking inside the barn told phil to leave, so he did.

"WHY CAN'T I TAKE THE MEAT? I'M SO CONFUSED. I JUST WANT TO TAKE THE MEAT. I WANT THE DAGGER AND THE MEAT"

fans had to tell him to "use" the meat, because he was sperging out about being unable to loot it.

phil is climbing all over the sex barn looking for a secret entrance inside, of which, there is not.

"it might be a bad karma thing to go in there"

there's no morality system in this game?

"i don't wanna screw stuff up so i don't think i'm gonna do it. everyones trying to goad me into it, but i don't think i'm gonna do it"

great streamer. phil is now leaving the sex barn.

he has run directly into the Gnolls. "you would roll? you ROLL to melee attack?" how do you think D&D works phil?

"if it's already dying, why would you hit it? just watch it die."

bad call, fat man. enjoy the Gnoll birth.

"i'm not understanding the positioning in this game. obviously positioning is key, but i just don't know good positioning"

higher ground is better, like, it's not hard?

"if i put him in a bush, does that help him hide?"

phil doesn't know about sight cones and the chat hasn't told him.

"do you guys know where i should put astarion? what do you think?"

literally asking chat to move his characters for him.

"firewine is flammable? it is? why? it's wine. that's weird"

phil apparently doesn't know alcohol is flammable.

phil has just discovered that games unload things like corpses and then reload them when you re-enter the area. Phil accuses this of being a glitch instead of just a way to save memory by not loading things you don't actively see.

he accidentally dropped his controller and has gone on about 3 minutes about how it wasn't his fault and some mysterious force pulled the controller out of his hand.

he killed the gnolls with little issue and MASSIVE handholding.

he has realized you can throw weapons and questions if you have to pick it up after.

"how do i switch party members? i don't know how this works. how do i swap party members?"

god, take me now.

he's doing this thing where he reads every single spell description as it's written, and then repeats what he thinks the ability means.

someone in chat just asked phil if Wyll is human, phil said he wasn't sure but he thinks he's human. I want to remind everyone Wyll is the only black party member in the game.

phil stepped on a trap and almost wiped his entire party. they all got run over by a falling boulder, they're in a bad way.

"i just want to play the game. i don't want to go into 17 menus to figure out what I need. it's too complex, just let me play. like i'm gonna sit here and read this shit? no, just let me play."

man he can't figure out how to use Hex.

he doesn't know the difference between Charisma and Constitution.

"so i hit him, and it didn't work? he saved with a saving roll, which is incredibly stupid."

every single fucking turn has been 5-8 minutes of deliberating on what to do. this is SO FUCKING BORING. OH MY FUCKING GOD. JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING. JUST. DO. SOMETHING.

"there's basically different options and they're all decent"

SO JUST PICK SOMETHING.

phil tried to end his turn and hold down triangle and ended concentration on his spell by mistake.

"people are saying i held down the wrong button, gee, do you think maybe the game should've SAID SOMETHING? YOU THINK THE GAME SHOULD'VE SAID HEY, ARE YOU SURE? no, instead it just does it. wow, that's great. that's just delightful, no point in doing this now."

it says on the UI "end concentration" you held the button down for 3 seconds and ended it.

"does it hurt me to walk across acid? i don't know if it hurts me to walk across acid or not."

he is now mad dogging the chat until someone tells him.

phil finished a quest and leveled up, which phil is confused over, for some reason.

phil is fighting the Gnolls with the Gnoll hoss, the one with the whip. This has been a 45 minute fight and he has spent it hiding in the cave behind the two NPCs, who have both died protecting him. He got lucky and nearly one shot the boss with a triple crit, and the second one of the Gnolls gets a clear shot, they down lae'zel instantly. just imagine what they all could've done to phils party if he hadn't lucked into this.

after 14 hours phil has hit level 4.

"guys, there's way too many abilities at this point. how am i supposed to know what to get here?"

he acts like the game offers you 20 options but there's only 1 REAL option and the game is just trying to trick you.

"OH MY GOD? THEY REALLY THINK I'M GONNA READ THROUGH LIKE 30 DIFFERENT OPTIONS? I WANNA PLAY THE GAME TODAY. THERE'S WAY TOO MANY OPTIONS."

imagine being mad you have skills to pick in a CRPG.

"there's too many of these to understand or read through, i understand options, but they just took the rulebook and threw it at you. i'm just going to do this"

he just went with ability improvement, but now he doesn't know what to increase.

phil took sharpshooter for Astarion because he saw +10 damage, he didn't seem to notice the -5 to hit.

he's gettin' ability improvement again for lae'zel, since he just doesn't want to read or look at feats.

he has found karlach, or as he likes to call her, Karlatch.

there we go, that's the end of the stream. Let's recount what we did in 4 hours, he found the sex barn, he refused to open the sex barn, he fought the gnolls, he leveled up wyll, then he fought some more gnolls, and that was it. That's what he did in 4 hours. He's 15 hours in and hasn't seen the Goblin camp or anything, really. I am not joking, it'll likely be another 60-70 hours before Act 2 if he finds the Underdark.

"great stream, right?"

kill yourself.

p.s he's been saving so much he hit the save limit and had to delete save files.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Seems like this game is going the way of Elden Ring - each stream being supported by one, maybe two, massive whale tips from complete randoms or names that are effectively anonymous. I'm starting to think that Phil's decision to play this game has less to do with the Game Awards, and more to do with some sort of well timed arrangement, behind the scenes.

Likely pre-orchestrated MASSIVE tips, too.

Dave was calm and not begging hard before the $60 tip.

 

[JimiHendrix]

i just want to comment, i was thinking it over in my head, it's very possible phil spends 70-80 hours in Act 1, which is the time it took me to beat the game.

like let's look at the numbers here, phil spent 4 hours today and all he did was level up his characters and did 2 fights. that's all he did. in 4 hours. He is 14 hours in and has not discovered the goblin outpost or the goblin camp, only just now met Karlach, hasn't done the hag.

bear in mind, Act 1 has the Githyanki Creche, the Underdark, and the Grymforge. He is 14 hours in and hasn't even gotten to the Goblin camp yet. we could seriously be looking at a 400-500 hour playthrough if he finishes this game, and a 70 hour act 1 if he doesn't at this rate.