- Joined
- Apr 26, 2024
Phil is taking a break from this game because support and attendance keep going down every time he streams it, so it’ll return in July or August 2024 (yes he said the year).
Phil got only 2 tips—$5 each and both in the first 15 minutes—so I think we know why this game is taking a break. God willing it’ll go the way of Divinity 2 and my soul can rest.
And with that said, I’d like to thank everybody who commented on these recaps, stickered them, or just read them. They were, well, not exactly fun to write, but satisfying in a way. If Phil does come back to this game, I'll be here recharged and ready, but if he doesn't, sayonara suckers!
“The YouTube ack—exclusive.”
lol
“We always knew this was kind of a filler playthrough.”
I’ll say.
Phil’s doing Nuka-World, avoiding the main story like a motherfucker.
“Which follower should I take with me, whadda you guise think?”
“I maxed out Piper, Cait, and MacCready my first playthrough? Who the hell is Cait? Who’s MacCready? Who the hell are they?”
A reminder that Fallout 4 was Phil’s game of the year in 2015 and MacCready was also in Fallout 3 where he was the "mayor" of a town consisting entirely of childrens. You'd think that might stick in memory but this is The Guy who didn't remember the Gary vault.
“Oh wait that’s not Hancock, that’s what’s his name.”
“I avoided this for 53 hours.”
Preston is giving Phil the first Minuteman mission and he’s not happy about it.
“I definitely do not want Preston Garvey as my follower.”
“What the HELL? I have a robot companion named Ada? I’m gonna take the robot companion.”
So Phil ignored whatever chat said about which companion they wanted, we’re doing what Phil wants.
Phil getting positively molested by Gunners at the entrance to Nuka-World.
“I’m about to die nao cause the car blew up. That sucks. That sucks, I only have to heal because the car blew up.”
It does suck, you really should’ve been killed by it.
“Zoop! Instant execution. INSTANT EXECUTION.”
Negro, you’ve been doing that for the last 40 hours, isn’t the bloom off the rose by now?
“What a bunch of dicks. Now I gotta use health items? For dih stupuh ting?
Killed by grenades in the Gauntlet, death 37.
Killed by the same grenades in the Gauntlet, death 38.
“Well that was exciting, anyway…ack ack ack, okay then.”
Phil slashed at a grenade bouquet and the resulting explosion killed him, death 39.
“Wha…where…wha…? Where is he? I don’t know where he is.”
On the platform above you.
“I don’t even know who’s in there, I didn’t see anyone. They were shootin me but I didn’t see them, so, whatever. I’m outta here.”
Great streamer.
“I paid for the DLC, I wanna skip half the content, you asshole.”
Phil is ignoring the boss to loot and to complain about the loot.
“Is he Australian?”
That’s an English accent, Phil, you’ve heard an Australian speak, that’s not even close.
Phil wants to beat the boss without using the mechanic that makes him vulnerable to damage. Since only crits hurt the boss otherwise and Phil only gets a crit every like 8 hits, we’re doing this fight, intentionally, the dumbest possible way.
“Amazing.”
Negro, you made the choice to subject your audience to this.
“They shoulda gave him more than 1 line. ‘Izzat all you got, izzat all you got’, shut the fuck up, say something else.”
Yeah well this fight should’ve been over in 20 seconds, the devs didn’t write and record lines just in case some asshole decided to spend 5 minutes chipping away at a dude in power armor with a glorified kitchen knife.
Phil is addicted to alcohol, and now so is his character.
“Done, dinta use da water gun.”
After 10 stupifyingly dull minutes, Phil has defeated the boss in the very definition of brute forcing a fight.
We’re not even an hour into the stream and Phil’s yawning, I’d be bored too if I spent 10 fucking minutes mashing stab nonstop over and over.
672 continues his membership with a message asking Phil to up the difficulty, Phil shits on him and looks directly into the camera to tell the cuck to shut up, thanks for the money, dummy.
“Why can I take the bottle caps right out of this guy’s register?”
You’re the boss of Nuka-World and he’s a slave wearing an explosive collar? Like what the fuck.
Phil is very displeased by the pitiful offerings of the Nuka-World Market.
An attractive woman character says on Phil’s approach, “As long as you keep your eyes on the merchandise and off me, I’m happy to do business.”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh….WHAT? Why did she talk lie dah?”
Phil’s fear of female sexuality example #38575989.
“Could I technically just skip the entire story and go kill the 3 leaders rite nao? I wonder if you could just go ahead and murder everyone. Let’s find out. Wanna do something totally different?”
Someone tells Phil he gets better rewards by not doing that, so we immediately abandon this idea.
He’s complaining the Pip Boy light is too bright again.
“I just take everything that I want. It’s so weird, why are they allowing me to steal from them? I dunno.”
I’m convinced Phil has a learning disability, like you are the crime boss and they are all gang slaves, they are locked into neck collars that you can activate to literally blow their heads off, what are you not understanding about this.
His stream is so boring he’s reduced to just going “ruhruhruhruh, ruhruhruhruhruhruh, ack ack ack”. Nothing’s happen on the screen, just an NPC talking and he starts making unintelligible noises.
“How can you take this seriously?”
….raiders have outlandish appearances? It’s kind of like their whole thing for the last 3 Fallout games? What the fuck.
“We have 3 miscellaneous-style quests to do for everyone.”
“‘Consider switching to a new companion for more dialog?’ Uhhhh…do we really need more dialog right now?”
Phil doesn’t know if you can fast travel from Goodneighbor.
“Wahdaell, where am I? I don’t know how to get back up there.”
“Yo why are there so many? What is happening right now? Look how so many guys there are. This is right outside of where the ship used to be, remember, USS Constitution was here?”
Phil is in Quincy, nowhere near where Constitution was, like not even in the same quadrant of the fucking map.
Phil is really struggling with the Quincy fight. I found it pretty challenging too when I did it at less than half Phil’s level. But I shouldn’t make fun of Phil for getting molested in a battle I managed without too much trouble since my gear and build were much better than his.
Phil thinks the Gunners have a Fat Man, they don’t, it’s the cars blowing up.
Phil missed his jump down to a bridge and died, death 40. Died to the last two Gunners left alive in Quincy, you love to see it.
Phil is dead silent, he’s mad he has to do all of Quincy again.
“For the record, the raiders [sic] did not kill me.”
Phil has skipped Quincy entirely and is going where he was supposed to go in the first place, the Fallout version of ragequitting an SF set after one loss.
“We’re naht really seein any good lewt?”
Negro you are fighting raiders, enemies like 40 levels below you, yeah they don’t have good loot for you.
Phil just murdered one of his allies because he wasn’t paying attention. He saw two guys shooting at his enemy and he walked up to one and fucking knifed him. He didn’t pause to wonder why the guy was facing away from him and shooting at the Gunner, just Phil see, Phil stab.
“Don’t I find it too easy to one-shot the enemies? There’s LITERALLY nothing else to do, whaddya wamme tah do, just make the enemies artificially harder? How does that improve the game at all? It doesn’t. You’re always going to get this powerful by playing Fallout correctly. That’s just how Fallout is.”
Now he’s saying it would be too easy and therefore boring if he’d used an exploit to become overpowered, but he’s overpowered because of his build. Okay? So what, what's the point here? I guess I’m just not smart enough to follow Phil’s reasoning.
He’s still arguing with his chat about increasing the difficulty, continuing the lie—or maybe he really doesn’t know that what he’s saying isn’t true—that all it does is make enemies harder to kill. He's level 55 and his armor is better than it was earlier—not as good as mine at level 25, but better—and he has some perks to make him a little tougher, but it would be more entertaining for everyone, even him honestly, if he upped the difficulty so the enemies hit harder. But we all know that’s not happening, unless somebody offers him money like they did for his last New Vegas run.
“So yeah I don’t get it, I doan unnerstan. Ever since I started playing this game, people are like, ‘You should play on a harder difficulty.’ And I literally researched it. And I found out that in particular in this game, making the difficulty higher? All it does is it makes the enemies bullet sponges.”
You literally didn’t research it. As I’ve said before, the enemies do increased damage as well, to be precise 150% damage on Hard and 200% (which is double damage in case you don't know that, like Phil doesn't) on Very Hard. You can find that from a simple Google search, which I did to make sure I remembered the percentages right. While I was confirming that, I noticed something I’d forgot about, which is that harder difficulties increase the chance you’ll run into Legendary (i.e. harder) enemies. That reminded me that’s one reason some people like the harder difficulties, since more Legendary enemies = more drops of Legendary gear.
So Phil’s full of shit and lying about doing any research because doing even 10 seconds of reading from one of Google's top results actually proves him wrong, is basically what I’m saying.
“It just takes longer to kill them. It doesn’t even really add challenge. It just makes it take longer to do all the stuff you’re already doing, and it’ll take longer to beat the game. The game is long enough.”
And even if you ignore all that—which you shouldn’t—bro, the enemies shoot back, so the longer it takes you to kill them the longer they’re shooting at you?
Phil’s yawning again, even he’s bored by this.
“How do I do this? I doan unnerSTAN. How do I put the collar on her.”
Phil keeps clicking the same 2 options conversation options, neither one is working so he’s flummoxed, he has no idea what to do.
“I have no fuckin clue, I dunno how to do this. It seems messed up, like I can’t do it now.”
Defeated by an unnamed NPC, we’re reloading the game.
“Aaarrggghhh what a pain in the ass, this is what happens when you don’t have the right build and then they have a mission that’s fuckin impossible to do without that build.”
Phil just advanced this “impossible” mission because, get this, he used Charisma-raising chems to pass the persuasion check, imagine that.
Phil slapped a slave collar on a Diamond City resident in the middle of a bar so now all the bar patrons are attacking him, reloaded again.
Phil thinks that when you fail a persuasion attempt in this game you can just do it again. You can’t, so now we’re watching a loop of dialog as Phil endlessly fails to persuade the NPC to follow him.
Defeated by the unnamed NPC telling him no like 7 times, reload 3.
Save-scumming this mission hard now.
Phil aggroed all of Diamond City again, reload 4.
Phil aggroed all of Diamond City again, reload 5.
Phil complained about each of the last like 4 missions saying they were too easy and short, now he’s complaining this one is too involved and taking too long. Truly you can never please Phil.
Phil got hit by an enemy (an attack dog I think, it was behind him) as he was entering a building and he didn’t even notice, like how do you not notice the screen canting to one side, a big red blurb, your character grunting in pain, AND the chomp of dog on leg? And no he wasn't just ignoring it, he was confused when the enemies suddenly appeared in the building with him.
Someone again makes fun of how boring the game is since Phil just Pip Boys and quaffs stimpaks whenever his shitty play gets him in trouble and Phil again basically says it’s okay because he didn’t cheat to get a lot of stimpaks. I gather his point now is that it's the game that's boring and not him? If Phil weren’t complete shit at his job he’d at least try a higher difficulty just to show his audience what it’s like—I mean Phil himself has said alotta peepul told him this difficulty is boring even before this stream where like 3 different people have complained including a long-time paypig—but we know he’s afraid a higher difficulty would make him show his ass and he also likes 1-shotting everything.
Ah but all is well now, we’re sitting in silence while an NPC talks, now Phil’s back in his comfort zone.
“So he can be your follower, which I prolly wanna do. Great idea.”
So fuck Longfellow, but we want the amoral caporegime who just helped us betray and kill his previous boss watching our back, okay.
Straight up admits he doesn’t need Lead Belly anymore, great build you got there, Phil.
He has no idea what perks to get now, just searching for anything to spend points on. I’m glad I finished this game like 15 levels earlier when I played, I can’t imagine enjoying playing it like this.
“Well ahbviously what I’d like to deewww is get to these areas, I just don’t know how you get to them. Like how do you access these areas? I actually don’t know.”
How do you get anywhere in this game, Phil?
Another cavernous yawn, Phil can’t wait till gin o’clock.
“I can’t get these fuckin rads to stop, what the fuck’s goin on with the rads? DOOD the rads just don’t stop.”
55 hours in as a melee build and ghouls still get the first hit on Phil almost every. Single. Time. It amuses me.
lol
“We always knew this was kind of a filler playthrough.”
I’ll say.
Phil’s doing Nuka-World, avoiding the main story like a motherfucker.
“Which follower should I take with me, whadda you guise think?”
“I maxed out Piper, Cait, and MacCready my first playthrough? Who the hell is Cait? Who’s MacCready? Who the hell are they?”
A reminder that Fallout 4 was Phil’s game of the year in 2015 and MacCready was also in Fallout 3 where he was the "mayor" of a town consisting entirely of childrens. You'd think that might stick in memory but this is The Guy who didn't remember the Gary vault.
“Oh wait that’s not Hancock, that’s what’s his name.”
“I avoided this for 53 hours.”
Preston is giving Phil the first Minuteman mission and he’s not happy about it.
“I definitely do not want Preston Garvey as my follower.”
“What the HELL? I have a robot companion named Ada? I’m gonna take the robot companion.”
So Phil ignored whatever chat said about which companion they wanted, we’re doing what Phil wants.
Phil getting positively molested by Gunners at the entrance to Nuka-World.
“I’m about to die nao cause the car blew up. That sucks. That sucks, I only have to heal because the car blew up.”
It does suck, you really should’ve been killed by it.
“Zoop! Instant execution. INSTANT EXECUTION.”
Negro, you’ve been doing that for the last 40 hours, isn’t the bloom off the rose by now?
“What a bunch of dicks. Now I gotta use health items? For dih stupuh ting?
Killed by grenades in the Gauntlet, death 37.
Killed by the same grenades in the Gauntlet, death 38.
“Well that was exciting, anyway…ack ack ack, okay then.”
Phil slashed at a grenade bouquet and the resulting explosion killed him, death 39.
“Wha…where…wha…? Where is he? I don’t know where he is.”
On the platform above you.
“I don’t even know who’s in there, I didn’t see anyone. They were shootin me but I didn’t see them, so, whatever. I’m outta here.”
Great streamer.
“I paid for the DLC, I wanna skip half the content, you asshole.”
Phil is ignoring the boss to loot and to complain about the loot.
“Is he Australian?”
That’s an English accent, Phil, you’ve heard an Australian speak, that’s not even close.
Phil wants to beat the boss without using the mechanic that makes him vulnerable to damage. Since only crits hurt the boss otherwise and Phil only gets a crit every like 8 hits, we’re doing this fight, intentionally, the dumbest possible way.
“Amazing.”
Negro, you made the choice to subject your audience to this.
“They shoulda gave him more than 1 line. ‘Izzat all you got, izzat all you got’, shut the fuck up, say something else.”
Yeah well this fight should’ve been over in 20 seconds, the devs didn’t write and record lines just in case some asshole decided to spend 5 minutes chipping away at a dude in power armor with a glorified kitchen knife.
Phil is addicted to alcohol, and now so is his character.
“Done, dinta use da water gun.”
After 10 stupifyingly dull minutes, Phil has defeated the boss in the very definition of brute forcing a fight.
We’re not even an hour into the stream and Phil’s yawning, I’d be bored too if I spent 10 fucking minutes mashing stab nonstop over and over.
672 continues his membership with a message asking Phil to up the difficulty, Phil shits on him and looks directly into the camera to tell the cuck to shut up, thanks for the money, dummy.
“Why can I take the bottle caps right out of this guy’s register?”
You’re the boss of Nuka-World and he’s a slave wearing an explosive collar? Like what the fuck.
Phil is very displeased by the pitiful offerings of the Nuka-World Market.
An attractive woman character says on Phil’s approach, “As long as you keep your eyes on the merchandise and off me, I’m happy to do business.”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh….WHAT? Why did she talk lie dah?”
Phil’s fear of female sexuality example #38575989.
“Could I technically just skip the entire story and go kill the 3 leaders rite nao? I wonder if you could just go ahead and murder everyone. Let’s find out. Wanna do something totally different?”
Someone tells Phil he gets better rewards by not doing that, so we immediately abandon this idea.
He’s complaining the Pip Boy light is too bright again.
“I just take everything that I want. It’s so weird, why are they allowing me to steal from them? I dunno.”
I’m convinced Phil has a learning disability, like you are the crime boss and they are all gang slaves, they are locked into neck collars that you can activate to literally blow their heads off, what are you not understanding about this.
His stream is so boring he’s reduced to just going “ruhruhruhruh, ruhruhruhruhruhruh, ack ack ack”. Nothing’s happen on the screen, just an NPC talking and he starts making unintelligible noises.
“How can you take this seriously?”
….raiders have outlandish appearances? It’s kind of like their whole thing for the last 3 Fallout games? What the fuck.
“We have 3 miscellaneous-style quests to do for everyone.”
“‘Consider switching to a new companion for more dialog?’ Uhhhh…do we really need more dialog right now?”
Phil doesn’t know if you can fast travel from Goodneighbor.
“Wahdaell, where am I? I don’t know how to get back up there.”
“Yo why are there so many? What is happening right now? Look how so many guys there are. This is right outside of where the ship used to be, remember, USS Constitution was here?”
Phil is in Quincy, nowhere near where Constitution was, like not even in the same quadrant of the fucking map.
Phil is really struggling with the Quincy fight. I found it pretty challenging too when I did it at less than half Phil’s level. But I shouldn’t make fun of Phil for getting molested in a battle I managed without too much trouble since my gear and build were much better than his.
Phil thinks the Gunners have a Fat Man, they don’t, it’s the cars blowing up.
Phil missed his jump down to a bridge and died, death 40. Died to the last two Gunners left alive in Quincy, you love to see it.
Phil is dead silent, he’s mad he has to do all of Quincy again.
“For the record, the raiders [sic] did not kill me.”
Phil has skipped Quincy entirely and is going where he was supposed to go in the first place, the Fallout version of ragequitting an SF set after one loss.
“We’re naht really seein any good lewt?”
Negro you are fighting raiders, enemies like 40 levels below you, yeah they don’t have good loot for you.
Phil just murdered one of his allies because he wasn’t paying attention. He saw two guys shooting at his enemy and he walked up to one and fucking knifed him. He didn’t pause to wonder why the guy was facing away from him and shooting at the Gunner, just Phil see, Phil stab.
“Don’t I find it too easy to one-shot the enemies? There’s LITERALLY nothing else to do, whaddya wamme tah do, just make the enemies artificially harder? How does that improve the game at all? It doesn’t. You’re always going to get this powerful by playing Fallout correctly. That’s just how Fallout is.”
Now he’s saying it would be too easy and therefore boring if he’d used an exploit to become overpowered, but he’s overpowered because of his build. Okay? So what, what's the point here? I guess I’m just not smart enough to follow Phil’s reasoning.
He’s still arguing with his chat about increasing the difficulty, continuing the lie—or maybe he really doesn’t know that what he’s saying isn’t true—that all it does is make enemies harder to kill. He's level 55 and his armor is better than it was earlier—not as good as mine at level 25, but better—and he has some perks to make him a little tougher, but it would be more entertaining for everyone, even him honestly, if he upped the difficulty so the enemies hit harder. But we all know that’s not happening, unless somebody offers him money like they did for his last New Vegas run.
“So yeah I don’t get it, I doan unnerstan. Ever since I started playing this game, people are like, ‘You should play on a harder difficulty.’ And I literally researched it. And I found out that in particular in this game, making the difficulty higher? All it does is it makes the enemies bullet sponges.”
You literally didn’t research it. As I’ve said before, the enemies do increased damage as well, to be precise 150% damage on Hard and 200% (which is double damage in case you don't know that, like Phil doesn't) on Very Hard. You can find that from a simple Google search, which I did to make sure I remembered the percentages right. While I was confirming that, I noticed something I’d forgot about, which is that harder difficulties increase the chance you’ll run into Legendary (i.e. harder) enemies. That reminded me that’s one reason some people like the harder difficulties, since more Legendary enemies = more drops of Legendary gear.
So Phil’s full of shit and lying about doing any research because doing even 10 seconds of reading from one of Google's top results actually proves him wrong, is basically what I’m saying.
“It just takes longer to kill them. It doesn’t even really add challenge. It just makes it take longer to do all the stuff you’re already doing, and it’ll take longer to beat the game. The game is long enough.”
And even if you ignore all that—which you shouldn’t—bro, the enemies shoot back, so the longer it takes you to kill them the longer they’re shooting at you?
Phil’s yawning again, even he’s bored by this.
“How do I do this? I doan unnerSTAN. How do I put the collar on her.”
Phil keeps clicking the same 2 options conversation options, neither one is working so he’s flummoxed, he has no idea what to do.
“I have no fuckin clue, I dunno how to do this. It seems messed up, like I can’t do it now.”
Defeated by an unnamed NPC, we’re reloading the game.
“Aaarrggghhh what a pain in the ass, this is what happens when you don’t have the right build and then they have a mission that’s fuckin impossible to do without that build.”
Phil just advanced this “impossible” mission because, get this, he used Charisma-raising chems to pass the persuasion check, imagine that.
Phil slapped a slave collar on a Diamond City resident in the middle of a bar so now all the bar patrons are attacking him, reloaded again.
Phil thinks that when you fail a persuasion attempt in this game you can just do it again. You can’t, so now we’re watching a loop of dialog as Phil endlessly fails to persuade the NPC to follow him.
Defeated by the unnamed NPC telling him no like 7 times, reload 3.
Save-scumming this mission hard now.
Phil aggroed all of Diamond City again, reload 4.
Phil aggroed all of Diamond City again, reload 5.
Phil complained about each of the last like 4 missions saying they were too easy and short, now he’s complaining this one is too involved and taking too long. Truly you can never please Phil.
Phil got hit by an enemy (an attack dog I think, it was behind him) as he was entering a building and he didn’t even notice, like how do you not notice the screen canting to one side, a big red blurb, your character grunting in pain, AND the chomp of dog on leg? And no he wasn't just ignoring it, he was confused when the enemies suddenly appeared in the building with him.
Someone again makes fun of how boring the game is since Phil just Pip Boys and quaffs stimpaks whenever his shitty play gets him in trouble and Phil again basically says it’s okay because he didn’t cheat to get a lot of stimpaks. I gather his point now is that it's the game that's boring and not him? If Phil weren’t complete shit at his job he’d at least try a higher difficulty just to show his audience what it’s like—I mean Phil himself has said alotta peepul told him this difficulty is boring even before this stream where like 3 different people have complained including a long-time paypig—but we know he’s afraid a higher difficulty would make him show his ass and he also likes 1-shotting everything.
Ah but all is well now, we’re sitting in silence while an NPC talks, now Phil’s back in his comfort zone.
“So he can be your follower, which I prolly wanna do. Great idea.”
So fuck Longfellow, but we want the amoral caporegime who just helped us betray and kill his previous boss watching our back, okay.
Straight up admits he doesn’t need Lead Belly anymore, great build you got there, Phil.
He has no idea what perks to get now, just searching for anything to spend points on. I’m glad I finished this game like 15 levels earlier when I played, I can’t imagine enjoying playing it like this.
“Well ahbviously what I’d like to deewww is get to these areas, I just don’t know how you get to them. Like how do you access these areas? I actually don’t know.”
How do you get anywhere in this game, Phil?
Another cavernous yawn, Phil can’t wait till gin o’clock.
“I can’t get these fuckin rads to stop, what the fuck’s goin on with the rads? DOOD the rads just don’t stop.”
55 hours in as a melee build and ghouls still get the first hit on Phil almost every. Single. Time. It amuses me.
Phil got only 2 tips—$5 each and both in the first 15 minutes—so I think we know why this game is taking a break. God willing it’ll go the way of Divinity 2 and my soul can rest.
And with that said, I’d like to thank everybody who commented on these recaps, stickered them, or just read them. They were, well, not exactly fun to write, but satisfying in a way. If Phil does come back to this game, I'll be here recharged and ready, but if he doesn't, sayonara suckers!