DSP Tries It: The Movie - In a world of Gout, one man stood out.

[PT 940]

If Brian O'Halloran is going to be in it, might as well guarantee that the audience will never feel bad for the main characters by having Kevin Smith direct it.

If Kevin Smith directs it the movie will have too many changes that just wouldn't work. It would be needlessly more disgusting than Phil already is, Phil would use all of his words and phrases correctly (which would make the whole thing less funny) and instead of the cast we want we'll get the same people Smith uses in every movie. We'd also get tons of needless, gross sex references and an impossible happy ending.

I'm still on board with Harmony Korine directing, though. We would at least get a really trippy version of him in the hospital with Leanna.

 

[Coin Ops]

In a nod to DSP doing things after they're no longer popular, it could be a found footage film where someone finds his hoard of external hard drives a la V/H/S.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I imagine a scene showing a computer monitor with Phil's stream playing.

Phil is begging for tips as usual and saying how poor he is and he really needs the money.

A tip notification pops up and Phil says, "Thank you Rob Warren for the $50, this will go straight to paying my back taxes I haven't paid in 5 years.

The camera pans out to show Rob watching Phil, his useless atrophied arms sticking out in nature's mockery of a T-pose. He's obviously ecstatic to get a shout out and starts to drool a little. Rob's caretaker gently wipes the spittle from Rob's chin and we continue to hear Phil complain about how bad his life is.

 

[PT 940]

If Kevin Smith filmed the movie, the scene with Phil jerking off before the stream is would be 500 times more graphic (needlessly.) If Harmony Korine filmed it, it would still be just was weird and uncomfortable but with an artistic spin, weird music and would show whatever he was watching (and knowing Korine it would be something extremely messed up.)

 

[Shambler]

have we considered making this an edger wright film? nick frost could play phil

 

[Preferred Penne]

have we considered making this an edger wright film? nick frost could play phil

Do they make yellow Cornettos (for post-nasal drip)?

 

[stanpandalee]

I think Steven Seagal would be a perfect casting choice for Dave.

 

[Shambler]

Do they make yellow Cornettos (for post-nasal drip)?

i don't see why they can't start

 

[DeathStork]

• Phil “DarksydePhil” Burnell - Lance Reddick
• Kat - Keanu Reeves
• Pandalee - Keanu Reeves in a wig
• Johnrambo - Arnold Schwarzneger
• Howard - Sheldon Cooper
• Tevin - Melissa McCarthy
• Fred Fuchs - Melissa McCarthy in a wig
• The Wolverine Toy - Mocapped Hugh Jackman CGI man

 

[ZehnBoat]

the DSP movie should have phil retreating into his imagination when things get too tough, and he imagines the best outcome as a song and dance number, then it cuts to reality and phil is disappointed

there's a point where phil dances with a wolverine toy ala gene kelley and jerry mouse via anchors aweigh

 

[Shambler]

okay so if fred fuchs is a character in this movie i think we need to cast the man who creaks his door

 

[PT 940]

Phil has a nightmare in which he is inside a video game, probably MGS2, and is being killed and is like "I don't know how to use rations!" and wakes up screaming

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

okay so if fred fuchs is a character in this movie i think we need to cast the man who creaks his door

Fred's door didn't creak, nudnik.

 

[Zaryiu]

Yeah, right. Like Phil would ever do voice over work. Oh, wait. GuruLarry already trolled him into doing that 3 years ago.

The Last Let's Player (Original Animation)

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About 2 minutes in.

Ironic that Larry has become only a voice over on his channel and the real work is divided between the Tranny Ki Justice as writer and Dan as Editor, tfw when Larry does even less then DSP for his videos

 

[neger psykolog]

While you guys have been sleeping for the past 6 years the DSP extended cinematic universe has had many new characters added. We need to do a recasting.

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

• Phil “DarksydePhil” Burnell - Lance Reddick
• Kat - Keanu Reeves
• Pandalee - Keanu Reeves in a wig
• Johnrambo - Arnold Schwarzneger
• Howard - Sheldon Cooper
• Tevin - Melissa McCarthy
• Fred Fuchs - Melissa McCarthy in a wig
• The Wolverine Toy - Mocapped Hugh Jackman CGI man

Derich - Hideo Kojima

 

[Benedryl Netanyahoo]

A DSP movie should just be a back-and-forth comparison between the world he lives in, and the reality everyone else lives in. Maybe a reverse "They Live".

 

[UncleTusky]

While you guys have been sleeping for the past 6 years the DSP extended cinematic universe has had many new characters added. We need to do a recasting.

DSP - Steven Seagal still works, if we get to cast lolcows then Patrick Tomlinson
Jenna - any lot lizard will do
@shalashaska - the lot lizard's most recent client
Fat Kat - Rachel Zegler in a fatsuit.
Kino Casino - Howard Stern playing all of them.
Ethan Ralph - will play himself.

ETA
Bank Leaker - some rando off the street, but he has to wear Groucho Marx fake glasses + nose for the phone call to Bank of America
Nigel of UKIP - Nigel Farage.
Null - Any lovable brown-furred mutt, voiced by Seth MacFarlane.
OIC - Never seen in the flesh but represented in Skype/Discord calls by a variety of coffee cups from different chains. Voiced by text to speech.
Rochelle - Marc Randazza in a wig; he has to use Saul Goodman-esque ads, logic, and ethics (those last two should be easy for him!) for comedic value. If he is too pricey then Rekieta in a wig, if Rekieta is somehow too pricey then his wife. If she is too pricey that means we don't have two dollars to spare.
Linda Burnell - plays herself.
TimboSlice - we will hold a raffle for Packers tickets, the "winner" has to play him.
The car Phil crashed - A Pinto or something made in the Soviet Union.
The doctor treating Kat's mystery ailments - Hugh Laurie in character as Dr. House.

 

[Lobster Cult High Priest]

The doctor treating Kat's mystery ailments - Hugh Laurie in character as Dr. House.

it wouldn't be a mystery as it's always Lupus

 

[We Are The Witches]

Fat Kat

Andy Milonakis without glasses.

Kino Casino

Also Andy Milonakis, but with glasses.