DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Jesus, Phil! Take a shower MORE than once a week! Jesus fucking Christ! Oil companies shouldn't be drilling in the Artic, they should be ringing out Phil's pillow cases.
 
Scotty said:
Jesus, Phil! Take a shower MORE than once a week! Jesus fucking Christ! Oil companies shouldn't be drilling in the Artic, they should be ringing out Phil's pillow cases.
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There's nothing he could do because its that Italian hair of his. I'm sure he'll blame some family member if it comes up. After all he blamed some hair issue on the way his mom used to part his hair. Bet she combed his hair till college.
 
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"It's all white hairs."
 
REGENDarySumanai said:
I can't wait until Phil's balding gets to the point where he can't hide it from his viewers.
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Not sure how Phil feels about the idea of a hair transplant, but that's really one of the only ways to mitigate male pattern baldness and a receding hairline in men because you know, "you can't change who you are I guess", it's up to genetics dood!

He's actually only talked about it only two times I could pick out in Pigpiggo

In this video he outright just scoffs out the idea, and shakes his head as if you say "Gahd these people are fucking stopid mahn, a hair transplant???".
Timestamp at 57:37

This one is more of sarcastic replies to this question I feel, but it gives you a bit of insight that the roach is very much aware of his very apparent head problems.
Timestamp at 15:58
 
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Flavius Anthemius said:
Not sure how Phil feels about the idea of a hair transplant, but that's really one of the only ways to mitigate male pattern baldness and a receding hairline in men because you know, "you can't change who you are I guess", it's up to genetics dood!
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Phil's already hyper-sensitive about the idea he might be going bald and it's only going to get worse when he can't maintain plausible deniability anymore; if he does admit to it it will be after a hilariously stupid attempt to cover it up. I think he'll go for some herbal or over-the-counter treatment considering how gullible and financially inept he is but I doubt he'd go for the transplants between the cost ($4,000!) and pain. We're talking about somebody who already lives hand to mouth on a $120k income after all.​
 
I think it got already posted in the main but I'd like to get it archived. Phil's lazyness visualized in beard-form. The only time he's officially exposed to the public is when he streams, in his job, the world sees him. And he actively decided to blame the bad camera for why his beard looks just a quarterly shaved, as if he got bored and said "Tss, okay, good enough, at least I did the bare minimum" .
It's all white hair, he says. And of course he said that he can't do anything about it.

So he just continues to look like he's retarded, like an actively brain damaged person.

He can't do anything about it while he literally holds the answer in his hand the whole time? He just had to shave it off! It costs you nothing! It's not an item to brag about, like a house or an Xbox. It grows back. Are you afraid to look like a manbaby? Don't worry Phil, your actions already make you look like. Alternatively you could look like a normal human being, how awful. Men without beards, whuaaat?

If we talk about his hair, WAUW DOOD, a whole other story. Everything to hide the bald spots, extremely regular haircuts by a professional, apparently artificially darkened hair, glued back as oily as possible to keep the facade up.

Beard? Fuck this shit. White, patchy, looks ridiculous, looks worse with every passing day, nothing he wants to do *snort*. Khet loves it.

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Even if we are to believe the "it's all white hairs" lie, it's blatantly obvious huge chunks are different lengths and/or missing, especially around the chin. It honestly looks like he has shaved without a mirror- maybe he's finally at the stage he can't stand to look at his own piggy reflection?

Besides, if he wanted to disprove the "patchy" theory he could easily take a photo on his cell phone, which would surely be an easy way to end the discussion.
 
De-partneredSydePhil said:
Even if we are to believe the "it's all white hairs" lie, it's blatantly obvious huge chunks are different lengths and/or missing, especially around the chin. It honestly looks like he has shaved without a mirror- maybe he's finally at the stage he can't stand to look at his own piggy reflection?

Besides, if he wanted to disprove the "patchy" theory he could easily take a photo on his cell phone, which would surely be an easy way to end the discussion.
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He won't do that, because that would be him admitting that he's wrong, and we know all too well that the king of hate has got to be right about most things, he's not some stoopid morahn.
 
PieceofShet said:
Y (am i toxic?)

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To Phil's credit, I think he may have invented a totally new form of comb-over all together. Instead of letting it get longer so you can comb one side over, he decided to pull reinforcements from both sides of his head to create a Comb-IN. Never thought I'd see somebody try so hard to create a bad widow's peak effect, though I guess it allows him to deflect by saying that he has a naturally high hairline.
 
It's pretty obvious that the reason it looks fucked up isn't due to white hairs. That's retarded. Just compare this photo from when he got married to the one @Wurstbrot shared.

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In the first photo you can see it's patchy with some grey hairs mixed in, but it still has a clearly defined shape. In the second image it looks like he had a stroke while he was shaving and accidentally blasted one side of it off his face.
 
There comes a point in every man's life when they reach a certain age that the facial hair they had as a young man is no longer saying the same thing it said back then. This is when you finally shave everything.

Dark Dave needs to shave his crappy patchy goatee but he never will because it's the only way to tell he's got a chin. Seriously. He has a weak chin and this is the only thing that gives it the illusion of definition.
 
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