DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Just thought of something: didn't his mom used to comb his hair while he was in school? Means there was something to comb, right? Well look at all the oldest pictures we have Phil. Shaved head in every one of them. And he kept that look until his early days on YouTube, which to me says that it was his preferred style, as opposed to whatever his mom liked.

Then he started growing it out, and slicking it back. And it's always like that when he is on camera. Never seen with it just hanging down like natural. Curious, isn't it?
 
Shaving your head requires maintenance. Phil can't be bothered to shave his face every day. He would shave his head once a week and by day 6 we would all be able to see the bald patches amidst the stubble.

Plus, if he shaved his head, the fan art with him as a samurai with long flowing locks wouldn't make sense. He has to keep it for continuity.
 
Sparkletor 2.0 said:
Shaving your head requires maintenance. Phil can't be bothered to shave his face every day. He would shave his head once a week and by day 6 we would all be able to see the bald patches amidst the stubble.

Plus, if he shaved his head, the fan art with him as a samurai with long flowing locks wouldn't make sense. He has to keep it for continuity.
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Pathetic but most likely true that he will be using the same MoronMoron fan art in 10 years when this balding situation would necessitate considering a shaven head
 
Sparkletor 2.0 said:
Shaving your head requires maintenance. Phil can't be bothered to shave his face every day. He would shave his head once a week and by day 6 we would all be able to see the bald patches amidst the stubble.
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It would actually require less work than his current hairstyle. No need to visit an actual hairdresser, all you need is a second mirror and a cheap-o clipper.

He's going to look like shit no matter the haircut / beard style since his diet is so bad, might as well just buy a mask and audition for Slipknot at this point.
 
Sparkletor 2.0 said:
Shaving your head requires maintenance. Phil can't be bothered to shave his face every day. He would shave his head once a week and by day 6 we would all be able to see the bald patches amidst the stubble.
Click to expand...

You may be right, but all that is the fault of Phil being even fucking lazier than he was back when he maintained a short hair look. Which I'm pretty sure is the look he would have kept if he hadn't started going bald ten years ago. And wasn't so sensitive about it.
 
Sparkletor 2.0 said:
Plus, if he shaved his head, the fan art with him as a samurai with long flowing locks wouldn't make sense. He has to keep it for continuity.
Click to expand...
ACK ACK ACK you stupid fahking mah-ran! See, the detractors don't know that samurai shaved their heads to make it seem like they're balding on purpose. If he just gets a traditional samurai chonmage like on the picture here he still gets to keep the continuity of his fan art where he's a powerful woodwind instrument-playing warrior. DEBUNKED!

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GigaOPC said:
Mrhuth Stuff posted a new clip where dsp claims his hair regrew due to not wearing headphones after all his ear infections.
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Were it not for the insane level of lying Phil has engaged in for years, I would be assuming him to either be joking or the dumbest person on Earth.

What makes this particular case even worse is that one day, this absurd claim that he came up with to avoid admitting that he has been concealing his baldness even though we're going to notice and still make fun of him, is going to have to get completely memory-holed, because he really is going bald. And then he has to make up something else in order to avoid admitting that he lied. May even blame his deceased aunt again. "She gave me alopecia, there was nothing I could do!"

Such a vicious cycle. Phil lies to get out of "losing" to the detractor community, but his constant lying is half the reason that there even IS a detractor community.
 
DSP received a cheer that said to the effect: your hair looks better now that you don't wear the headphones everyday. To which Phil agreed and said that not wearing headphones has fixed the spot in the middle of his head.

The only problem for DSP is that as he said this, he had to bend his head forward- because he is an autist - and show us.

Screenshot_20210106-153543_YouTube.jpg

Uhhh Phil, it still looks like the Nile River.

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Pepper Jack said:
DSP received a cheer that said to the effect: your hair looks better now that you don't wear the headphones everyday. To which Phil agreed and said that not wearing headphones has fixed the spot in the middle of his head.

The only problem for DSP is that as he said this, he had to bend his head forward- because he is an autist - and show us.

View attachment 1833425

Uhhh Phil, it still looks like the Nile River.

View attachment 1833434
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Is he strategically parting his hair a certain way because that lookin' like a Lil' Rascal.
 
"Look! It's full and thick, where it's supposed to be again!"

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Hahahahahahahahaha. Nice fucking combover buddy.

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Sorry for the double post, but I saw this randomly and it made me think of DSP's trash goatee and his River of Denial hairline.

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If Kat keeps feeding this old man nothing but potatoes and microwavable slop, he might hit this look someday.
 
Triple post! Will I go to hell for this? Sorry but I just had to post this from DSP's unrecorded technical difficulties segment of Yakuza 7...

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F u l l & T h i c k D o o o o d !
 
I wonder why wearing a hat all the time apparently isn't an option? I assume it's because Phil doesn't merely want to hide the fact that he's bald, he wants to live in denial of it. Total Biscuit had an even worse balding problem than him, and so wore a hat most of the time, but he wasn't acting like it was getting ruined by headphones or some other bullshit. He wasn't lying by wearing a hat, he just didn't like how he looked without it.

It says a lot about Phil the fact that in his attempts to turn his rep around, he relies on Twitter's ignorance rather than look at the e-celebs who are or will be remembered better than him. He doesn't want redemption, he wants people to memory-hole everything bad about him just like he does.
 
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