DSP's scholastic journey from valedictorian to boiling ramen in a keurig and eating it with a spoon - "Look at this. It's empty. There's no brain. Did you lose it somewhere?"

[UncleTusky]

Don't forget, Phil went to a private school mostly comprised of little illiterate thugs who thought they were going to make bank balling. None of them did, and most are probably now dead or in prison.

Showing up most days would be enough to put you in running for valedictorian.

Which is confirmed by him going to a shit-tier university - Fairfield is expensive, unselective, and in a really boring location; the valedictorian from a half-decent school would have been able to go somewhere much better.

 

[DerichLovesSSI]

Don't forget, Phil went to a private school mostly comprised of little illiterate thugs who thought they were going to make bank balling. None of them did, and most are probably now dead or in prison.

Showing up most days would be enough to put you in running for valedictorian.

This still confuses me. What hoodrat attends private school?

 

[RandyFries]

They get recruited to them and get in for free because they are good at sports. (I went to a private high school that did this, but it was also a top tier education school which Phil’s wasn’t)

This still confuses me. What hoodrat attends private school?

 

[Brother Wind]

This still confuses me. What hoodrat attends private school?

The kind that only has sports to try to make it to college.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

I was looking at DSP's dad's LinkedIn again... why would it take someone 14 years to get a business degree? Also, why the fuck didn't DSP go to UCONN? It's right there. Why go to some dumb school in Fairfield when you could have had a better education 30 minutes away?

 

[Balr0g]

I was looking at DSP's dad's LinkedIn again... why would it take someone 14 years to get a business degree? Also, why the fuck didn't DSP go to UCONN? It's right there. Why go to some dumb school in Fairfield when you could have had a better education 30 minutes away?View attachment 4159923

Did he perhaps take leaves from his university? Or perhaps study between jobs? I am not sure how long a course actually goes but I agree 14 years does sound a bit long unless the past study courses were way more stretched then they are today

 

[Iron Hamster]

He took off 2 years between his BS and Masters and those would have been Phail's most difficult pubescent years

 

[PenskeMaterial]

If you look at the date it coincides with Phil's birth. He likely took a break to support his family and help raise the future King of Hate.

Imagine putting aside your goals to support your kid only to have him mooch off you at 40 years old even though he makes six figures a year.

 

[Iron Hamster]

If you look at the date it coincides with Phil's birth. He likely took a break to support his family and help raise the future King of Hate.

Imagine putting aside your goals to support your kid only to have him mooch off you at 40 years old even though he makes six figures a year.

Phail was born in 1982. Dave was fully ensconced in getting his bachelors to avoid changing the scatmaster's diapers

 

[Corpun]

If you look at the date it coincides with Phil's birth. He likely took a break to support his family and help raise the future King of Hate.

Imagine putting aside your goals to support your kid only to have him mooch off you at 40 years old even though he makes six figures a year.

Which is why I really hope my theory about Dave hating Phil is correct. Phil brings up his dad less than he does his mom, and when he does it sounds like there is some hostility between them. Phil doesn't answer his dad's calls or emails unless it is his sacred day off, even then, he probably moved across the country to get away from his parents urging him to get a job.

Mama Burnell may still be coddling her baby boy, but I doubt Papa Burnell is happy with the way he turned out. Fingers crossed both parents hate Phil and have cut him out of the will because the salt produced from the inheritance money going to the cousin he hates or charity would be amazing.

 

[Brother Wind]

Phail was born in 1982. Dave was fully ensconced in getting his bachelors to avoid changing the scatmaster's diapers

When did his parents get hitched?

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

When did his parents get hitched?

If I had to hazard a guess, I would say sometime between 1978 and 1981 because if Dave went into the Marine Corps at 18 and did the minimum amount of years, he would be out in 1978 and started a job at Sikorsky.

 

[Brother Wind]

If I had to hazard a guess, I would say sometime between 1978 and 1981 because if Dave went into the Marine Corps at 18 and did the minimum amount of years, he would be out in 1978 and started a job at Sikorsky.

Oh right the Marines. I was like started College the year Phil was born? Was this is a Shotgun wedding? But that adds up a little better.

 

[UncleTusky]

I was looking at DSP's dad's LinkedIn again... why would it take someone 14 years to get a business degree? Also, why the fuck didn't DSP go to UCONN? It's right there. Why go to some dumb school in Fairfield when you could have had a better education 30 minutes away?View attachment 4159923

Night school. He was working that entire time so between his day job and raising Phil he might only have have had time for 1/3-1/4 of what a full-time student would. The MBA took less time because Phil would have been a teenager by the time David started and many business schools will offer MBA programs aimed specifically at people who are working full-time.