Dumbest way you have injured yourself - Broken bones, flesh wounds and whatever

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

I was pissed off in the middle of a fight and thought it would be safe enough to kick a cardboard box, shoeless, in frustrarion, but I kicked in just right so the reinforced corner of the box went between my big toe and next toe. It was crazy bruised and I was limping for a week.

 

[Meat Target]

This one time at camp, I jumped on the trunk of a moving car and fell off onto a gravel driveway.

No broken bones, but my arm was cut up.

 

[not william stenchever]

I was on a riding lawnmower and was going to mow under a swing-set we had, I had seen my other family members mow that area all the time, so I didn’t think there was anything to it. When I went through, one of the swing seats got stuck on the front of the mower and it lifted the mower straight up and landed so the back of my seat was parallel with the ground, I didn’t get hurt real bad other than a bruise on my back, but it happened in front of several family members so I felt like a complete idiot for the rest of the week.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I burnt my hand getting taquitos out of the microwave. Bottom of the plate was scorching hot.

 

[Shidoen]

I was running around my house like an autistic retard and slammed my toe into the wall.

 

[Kurt Eichenwald]

Once when I was 4 years old my brother was in the yard being pissed off at something and then I stumbled up to him like a little dumbass and got beaten with a brick.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

Burnt my hands handling incorrectly cooked Pad Thai. Just imagine dropping something full of boiling water, it's pretty fucking scary.

 

[keytar]

Did several retarded things when I was young that resulted in injury:

Once had the stellar idea to stand up on a swing and jump off it at the highest point. Missed my footing and landed on my ass, but I stuck my hands out as I fell so ended up breaking my wrist.

Accidentally slammed my own hand in a car door, didn't break anything but it hurt like a bitch.

Burnt my hand by putting it on a hot iron IMMEDIATELY after my dad told me not to touch it because it was hot.
Also once broke my nose by running face-first into a wall.

Sometimes I wonder how I survived until adulthood.

 

[Burd Turglar]

When a dog starts snapping their jaws playfully while you give them a belly rub.

I've had dogs my entire life and never heard of this lol

 

[Kookin]

I remember in my dumb young adult years, I was coming back from campus to home on bicycle. I was a little hyperactive then cause I got over with a boring ass lecture and shook my head and body like a tard while riding, then yeah. Fell face first on asphalt and a bit of flesh got torn off below my eye.

Luckily I got the wound stitched and treated within hours before it got worse, but I still have a subtle scar of it. A good, permanent reminder every time I look in the mirror to not sperg out so hard.

EDIT: Just remembered another. When I was a teenager, I went to a summer home with my parents for vacation. We didn't have a properly functioning fridge so we ate out of canned food for a few days. One time I fucked up a tuna can's opener part and got pissed off for it cause I was starving. I insisted I open it quick so I used my index finger to try and force it open.

You know how you stopped yourself as a kid from opening the pickle jar cause your skin hurt? Well I ignored that and had my distal phalanx kiss the edge of the lid. Every once in a while when I grip something directly with this part I get a bit of flesh reopen its wound internally. Can't say I'm mad about it, that was really fucking dumb for getting a quick snack.

 

[rel=alternate]

I don't want to be too specific, because that could identify me, but impulsivity.

I've gotten a lot better over time, and I now force myself to think before I act in most circumstances where I should have in the past. But it's still a trial and error thing if I am honest.

Otherwise, like everyone else, I guess, by not paying attention to what I am doing, or being overconfident.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

There was a dog in the neighbors backyard that would always bark at me when I was on the trampoline. It amused me so I decided to taunt it by hanging on the fence and yelling at it. I eventually lost my grip and scraped my neck from that though and had a gnarly scar from it.
Another time my grandma dropped her clothes iron on the floor. Me, being still retarded and not thinking I would feel any lasting pain, decided to pick it up with my fingertips on the metal and ended up with lingering 2 degree burns.
Neither injury lasted but in hindsight I tend to ignore danger way too much for a sensible human being.

 

[Soggy paper straw]

Burnt my hands handling incorrectly cooked Pad Thai. Just imagine dropping something full of boiling water, it's pretty fucking scary.

This sounds like that McDonalds coffee lawsuit

---

Not actually injured, but could have been very fucking bad: "Mmmhhhh let me check if the oven is actually on" Cue me touching the top of the oven where the bits that get hot are.
Thankfully they were not hot yet, and also were covered by a metal layer. The oven was barely warm, but those bits could have been very hot already; thankfully they were not.

Imagine deciding to remove wasps from an area where there were too many... to then get stung by one. Idk what I expected to happen

 

[Sergeant Major Buzzkill]

That time I smacked my head against the car door and broke my fucking glasses because I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Was funny in hindsight.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I've had dogs my entire life and never heard of this lol

I make up a lot of stupid games with dogs. Have one game I call the leave it game. I give a dog a toy then throw another toy. Then I say "leave it". If they leave the other toy alone, they get praise or a treat. Great way to teach them what the command means.

The leave it game has mostly no risks of injury. I say mostly because my preferred types of dogs are in the mastiff family. Mastiff puppies are little shits.

 

[Shidoen]

I called a fat black woman a sheboon irl and she stampeded towards me and then she tripped while I fell face toward.

 

[CarlosDanger]

Playing bike tag as a kid, my friend and I ended up in a head on crash where I ended up flying forward knocking out a tooth and breaking my thumb.

 

[DankSmoker]

Stabbed right through my finger with a swiss army knife when I was like eight because I HAD to see what was at the center of a baseball. Didn't notice it had gone through until I held tissue on the wound and it started spilling out the other side.

Another time was exceptionally dumb, I was maybe twelve, standing on a radiator changing a lightbulb with wet hands for some reason. Just saw blue for a millisecond and got knocked on my ass.

 

[I've Seen Some More Shit]

OK, you need to elaborate lol

I was cutting open boxes with a utility knife, did the dumb-but-common thing if cutting towards myself while the blade was locked out. I got it caught on a snag, yanked too hard, and suddenly I was bleeding from my areola. It shouldn't have been possible because A) I have freakishly gangly proportions and should've been able to see my long arm coming towards me and B) the way I was holding the box and cutting, it should've went towards more like my side or my hip.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

I

This sounds like that McDonalds coffee lawsuit

---

Not actually injured, but could have been very fucking bad: "Mmmhhhh let me check if the oven is actually on" Cue me touching the top of the oven where the bits that get hot are.
Thankfully they were not hot yet, and also were covered by a metal layer. The oven was barely warm, but those bits could have been very hot already; thankfully they were not.

Imagine deciding to remove wasps from an area where there were too many... to then get stung by one. Idk what I expected to happen

In 2021, we had to deal with a wasps nest at our own house, even worse, it was underground and hard to get rid of. It didn't die off until November. So if it's a good reason to build a better deck, than yes.