Dumbest way you have injured yourself - Broken bones, flesh wounds and whatever

I got quite a few but ones that come to mind are these
1) When I was 15 I was working on job site with a friend who dad own a construction company. There was like 4 of us, and we decided to have a wheel barrel race down a steep hill, it did not end well, my friend hit a large stump with me in wheel barrel and sent me flying down hill, broke a arm, and sprained my leg.
2) I was working at a restaurant has a fry cook, I didn't set the filter right and clogged oil drain thingy, so it a lot oil filled the bottom, extremely hot oil btw, so I couldn't get it out, and instead of asking for helped, I pulled it out has hard has I could, got two major burn scars from that.
3)When heeles where a thing, I got a pair, decided to walk my massive mixed dog with them, dog saw a squirrel and decided to chase it, it didn't end well I couldn't stop and hit the tree dead on at full force.
4) When I was 7 I watched a cartoon where character rode up a tree on a bike, so obviously I decided to try it in real life, rode my bike has fast has possible into the tree, didn't end well.
So those are some stupidest ways I injured myself.
 
I almost chocked on honey. I was licking it off a spoon and somehow I managed to swallow enough of it in a way that it glued my throat shut.
Luckily I figured out to drink some water to open it up again.
 
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oh i have a fun one. i brought a cup with me in the shower for pouring stuff and tried to fit my shower gel bottle in it. i pressed a little thinking it would squeeze in but instead the glass fucking shattered. i didn't realize until it started bleeding but i cut my thumb right below the cuticle where it's still scarred. definitely my most retarded scar.
it's funny because on my other thumb i have a scar from my kitty who passed away, he was one year older than me and so now i have a little memory of him wherever i go
 
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I work the most dangerous job in america, I play roller derby and softball. Have I ever gotten seriously injured at my occupation or sports activities? No.

Have I broken a rib from coughing? Yes. Have I hyper extended my knee while running to the bathroom at softball practice? Yes.
 
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