Let's Sperg Dwarf Fortress: Succession Game in Progress.

Diary of Randall Fragg, GodEmperor of the Dwarves, Military Geenis, and Dictator for Life.
Entry 12:
Dear diary,
Wonderful news! The outpost leason came by today, and this outpost is becoming an official Barony! I nominated myself for the position of Baron, of course.
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I must begin construction on a new "vacation room" in the bunker.
Oh yeah, the bunker. Okay, so my plan to have the people down at the forges make a pick to place in a pile in the bunker isn't going through. I just said "fuck it", and expanded the bunker's facilities to include a smelter and forge. I'll just make one there, place it in a pile next to the forge, and then forbid anyone from touching it under pain of death.
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Anyway, I traded a bunch of mugs for some food and steel and iron stuff to smelt down into weapons. The peasants have started getting restless about how "long my turn is", so I'm handing over control to Hat.
@Hat you're up.
 
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Overseer's Log of Hat, El Caudillo del Nuevo Régimen:
28th Limestone, 146;

Well, so much for retirement. I might as well gather my thoughts and tell my story here, seeing as I haven't dug up this book in almost two years. After I gave up overseership of the fortress, I pretty much expected it to be given to someone less capable than I. Even so, I was not expecting someone as bad as the dwarf who is now calling himself "Dorfnastia." Whereas, Fragg was just a moron, Dorfnastia seemed to think that he was some sort of god, and spent most of his time sending expeditions into the mines looking for gold. It got so bad that at the end of the year the peasants actually brought Fragg back into office.

Fragg's second term was as bad as the first, especially since he came up with his bull-shit system of "rotating leadership." All I wanted to do was live out the rest of my life in peace, but no, he has to have me put back in charge of this crazy place. As if that wasn't already bad enough, Fragg has been promoted to nobility. One of the reasons that I, as well as many of the peasants here, left the main part of the empire and traveled across just about all the hostile lands of the known world to get here was to get away from nobles. Why make this place an official domain of the empire? I've drawn a little map below to demonstrate how foolish the king has acted.
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This map represents the entire known world. The blue omegas in the bottom right represent the extent of the Dwarven Empire, and the yellow X at the top left represents this fortress. How can this fortress possibly function as an official domain? Honestly, being that we're so far off from the main empire, I'm actually a bit glad that a moron like Fragg is the baron; anyone else would try to seize control and rule this land as an autocracy.

Well, I'm the overseer now, so I might as well do my best. I still have the support of the hard-line members of The Party, otherwise known as El Nuevo Régimen. I'll need to get the fortress into a position where I can safely pass leadership to someone else in a relatively limited period of time, so tomorrow, when my term begins, I will begin leading us all to prosperity.

1st Sandstone, 146;
First things first, the bookkeeper has been slacking off.
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I told her that if she didn't step up her game, she would be executed. That seemed to light a fire under her ass.
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Fragg won't shut up about how he wants a nice tomb for himself so that he'll be ready when he dies, so I've designated a space to be dug out that's not in the way of anything.
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I've also ordered our furnace operators to make more types of bars than those made of gold. After all, a proper dwarf fortress ought have more varieties of metal at its disposal.
 
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Overseer's Log of Hat, El Caudillo del Nuevo Régimen:
2nd Sandstone, 146;

I suppose that during the time between my terms as overseer, I grew used to wandering around aimlessly through the passages of this joke of a fortress; now that I'm actually looking over the floor-plan I have no idea where anything is or why things were laid out as they were. We have passages that lead to nowhere, several different wings of bedrooms, stockpiles of varying sizes and shapes; it's all just hard to take in. At least the stills are running this time.

I don't know why Fragg decided to leave our soldiers stationed outside in the sun when there is no enemy in sight. That's just bad for morale.
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I ordered them inside the trade depot area, so that they'll be able to back the caravan guards in case of emergency. Speaking of trade, it is expected to conclude by tomorrow; there are still several goods carried that they have that we could use.

3rd Sandstone, 146;
Trading concluded on schedule today. I had the broker buy just about all the useful goods that Fragg neglected to buy—thanks Fragg—namely leather, cloth, seafood, clay, rock, and wood.

If those spikes outside are going to do us any good, they'll need to be connected to a lever. I've ordered our mechanics to get on it.
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4th Sandstone, 146;
A miner in the depths stuck aquamarine whilst digging. This is a good find, so I'll make sure that that miner's rations are marginally increased.

5th Sandstone, 146;
Bothered by the excessively large numbers of animals and livestock in this fortress, I have ordered a complete purge. All non-pets and non-working animals are to be killed—no exceptions. Their meat will be eaten, and their bones will make suitable crafts for trade.
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Overseer's Log of Hat, El Caudillo del Nuevo Régimen:
8th Sandstone, 146;

A miner doing exploratory digging struck magma today. The upside to this is we now know a lot more about the layout of the magma sea, as well as where the fabled veins of adamantine lie.
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The downside is that magma is now flooding the lower levels of our mine.
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A dwarf just informed me that a group of migrants has arrived. Migrants! I have no time for migrants! I'm busy trying to figure out a way to save the precious resources down there from magma. It's already consumed the aquamarines.
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The current plan is the wall-off the stairway and save the gold ore that is in the lower levels. We'll lose some gold but we'll keep some as well.
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14th Sandstone, 146;
Those incompetent and lazy peasants didn't get the job done in time, and now magma is pouring down.
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Rations for all unimportant dwarves have been cut by one-half. My last chance is to have the lever seal the drawbridge and before the entire lower chamber is flooded.
 
Overseer's Log of Hat, El Caudillo del Nuevo Régimen:
15th Sandstone, 146;

I don't know who's bright idea it was to make drawbridge so close to magma out of stone which wasn't magma-safe, but that's what happened. Now it's been dissolved and I have no convenient way of saving the lower mines.
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At this point, I've just decided to seal them off and pretend that they never existed in the first place.

20th Sandstone, 146;
Fragg's baronial nature has begun to show itself.
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Of all the things you could ask for, you ask for beds. As if we didn't have enough of those as it was. But, no matter, I'm fine with keeping the moron content in order to keep him at bay.
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25th Sandstone, 146;
Fragg's tomb is finished, so he'll finally shut up about it. I hope he's happy about it too, because I gave him the glass coffin that I had made for myself during my first term as overseer.
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The levels of the fortress below Fragg's tomb are the territory of the demons. Do not deconstruct the upward staircase on the tomb level until the military is prepared to take on a small army of demons. Also, slabs have been made for the dwarves that died at the hands of the demons, but they have not yet been engraved.
 
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Hat said:
In case anyone still cares, here's the current save.
The levels of the fortress below Fragg's tomb are the territory of the demons. Do not deconstruct the upward staircase on the tomb level until the military is prepared to take on a small army of demons. Also, slabs have been made for the dwarves that died at the hands of the demons, but they have not yet been engraved.
Click to expand...
Ohhhh, this will be fun.
I'm curious to see who died. Did Genocide Crusade, Shaggy 2 Dope, and Hatchet Man make it out?
 
Is it possible to release the full death list, or should I do that tomorrow?
 
So, who, if anyone, is next?
 
I really want to try Dwarf Fortress out now. I think I'll download it when I'm back from the gym. No guarantees about joining this game yet though: I need to learn the basics first.
Still, this has been a fun read :biggrin:


:edit:
So yeah, I downloaded it. Looks like the gym is not going to happen today. Fuck, but this game is involved.
 
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I'm currently in right now

Diary of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, and Miletary Genious.
Entry 13
OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITMOOOOMMMMMYYYYYMOOOOMMMYYYYYYIT'SMADEOUTOFFUCKINGSNOWANDITRIPPEDHISFUCKINGLIVEROUTHOWiSTHATFUCKINGPOSSIBLE....[rest of page degenerates into crude scribbling made from various bodily fluids.]



Diary of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, and Miletary Genious.
Entry 14
Okay, okay, gotta get a grip. Oh Armok, it was horrible. Our miners were carving out new tunnels in the deeps, when they struck it. Adamintine. We've all heard the legends of it. How it's supposed to be lighter and stronger than any material in all creation. How it's guarded by things that crawl up from the endless darkness at the very roots of the world.
As soon as I heard the cries of joy, I rushed down to the deeps. It was sweltering, because of the massive sea of magma that lies beneath the volcano. Though the miners were sweaty, dirty, and tired, their faces beamed with pride. The adamintine itself was a massive, pale blue wall, shimmering by the light of out candles. It was beautiful. One of the miners handed me a piece, and I found it to be as light as the cork of a bottle. Then, one of the miners resumed carving off chunks of the miracle substance.
With a crack like the breaking of an egg, the slab of adamintine crumbled inward. The vein was hollow.
As we stood agape at this, from the blackness in the vein came a screech, like metal upon metal, and the sound of many large things moving very quickly.
We ran.
They ran faster.
The miners, tired from their labor, were easy targets for...whatever in Armok's beard came out from the depths. Twisted things of snow. Living shadows. Gigantic snails that could move much faster then they should have been able to. The miners were ripped from limb to limb. I only survived because they went for the easy targets first. I screamed up the stairs "block the stairs, block the stairs."
Thank Armok Hat is able to get the peasants to work. If it weren't for his command, the fortress itself would have been slaughtered by them. I just barely made it out. I was racing up the great stone stairs, just in time to see a group of masons pushing a mass of rock over the landing. The things were hot on my heels, breath stinking with the blood of the recently dead. I screamed "hold on for just a few more seconds." They must not have heard me, for they continued to push the stone into place. If anything, they hurried their efforts. I managed to escape, though I sustained a large amount of cuts, scrapes, and bruises from sliding through the narrow passage. The stone slammed into place behind me, and the creatures gave a muffled scream. I voided my bowls and collapsed.
When I recovered, I was informed that Hat had vacated his position, and I was now in charge.
First things first, moving my tomb to a more secure place, in the interior of the bunker. No sense spending an eternity being screamed at by horrific things from beyond.
Next thing is to block off the rest of the staircase. I don't want some idiot moving the one thing keeping us all from suffering the same fate as those miners.
That went with only one minor incident, some mason got trapped behind the sealed walls. I considered leaving her to her fate, but decided just to dig her out.
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Next up is to begin digging down again, this time away from the abominations. Hopefully we can get at the gold and copper that our miner found in abundance in the cavern layers.
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Oh, also, parts of our upper levels have flooded. Don't know what's up with that. It seems to be sealed off, so I don't really care at this point.
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I've also undertaken some improvements. I've expanded the workshop area to include room for some ballistra construction equipment and a new set of magma forges.
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Also building a bath area, because the peasants have been exceptionally filthy lately. We'll need some soap though.
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Diary of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Miletary Genious.
Entry 15
I've been having some krunked up dreams lately. Burning, nameless horrors flooding the fortress. And kiwis. Like, the birds. Just sitting around in halls filled with flames and the sounds of the dying.

ADDENDUM:
Okay, this is fucked up. I went out to get a report from the foredwarf, and he informed me that "that weird bunker thing is complete." I never issued order for a bunker. I asked him to show me the site, and he obliged.
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One of the work orders was to construct a bunker for holding a balestra, which, for some reason, was shaped like a stork or something.
I must have drawn it up late at night, and forgot about it. Why the hell did I make it a bird though?
I must be cracking up.
 
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Diary of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Mylitory Geeniz
Entry 16
Well, aside from the mysteriously appearing Flamingo Bunker, things are going alright. I'm working on expanding the magma forges and workshop spaces. Since, as @Hat mentioned, our clothes are currently beginning to rot off our bodies, I've opened up a new cloths workshop section and started producing new cloth and leather garments.
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Okay, there's something else that hasn't been going well. The front entrance. After the goblin and human sieges, the dead bodies were dumped out near the front entry way. The only problem is that there are a lot of them. As it, we have a large pile of horrifically mutilated skeletons outside our front entrance. Apparently, the sight of these rotting carcasses is too much for some dwarves to handle, and they keep spazzing out. Add in sunsickness, and we now have a front entrance covered in mounds of corpse parts, vomit, and bits of clothing the enemy dropped.
I tried to get some sanitation up and running by dumping the corpses in the volcano.
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Yeah, that didn't go so well. Now we have a slightly messier corpse strewn wasteland. Nice.
(BTW, pretty sure by the time this is over the front's going to look like a WW1 battlefield.)

Diary of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Mylitoree Geeniz
Entry 17
Yes! A caravan of humans came by today, and well sold off a ton of our crafts in exchanged for a ton of food, cloth, iron, and steel.
Additionally, I'm improving the peasant's living conditions, by creating a statue garden and a zoo. This ought to keep them happy.
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In addition, we've struck a deposit of fertile soil deep in the tunnels. I'm building a small outpost there for the miners to sleep and eat at.
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Diary of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Mylitoree Geeniss
Entry 18
Armokdamnit, I was having such a lovely morning.
I had just woken up at 11:00, and was having my morning dwarven ale, when all of a sudden I hear a commotion coming from the hallway. I storm out to find Tyce the Hammerdwarf dragging one of our craftdwarves by the ear.
"Excuse me officer, but what is the meaning of this?"
"Eeey man, i wuz toild to errext dis bitch."
"Okay, I see that. I didn't order any arrests, on what grounds is this dwarf being arrested?"
"uuuuhhh i dunno."
After that less than helpful interchange, I went off, still clad in my night robe, to get to the bottom of these arrests.
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After some investigation, I found that these dwarves were being help responsible for "export mandate" violation. Apparently someone didn't think our fortress could take losing the hundreds of lead scepters lying around. And that someone?
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This bitch. Usurper, traitor! Only I get to imprison random people on a whim.
Luckily, the magma supply to the garbage chute is ready. This fucker's gonna burn. BURN!
Fragg out.
 
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Diary of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Mylitoree Geeniss
Entry 19
The time has come to end this lawless reign of terror. Pele demands sacrifice, and I am happy to oblige.
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The garbage disposal is complete. Now it just needs a test subject.
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I sent a messenger to the mayor, asking her to inspect the new incinerator, and see if it's to her liking.
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And just so happened to wedge to door shut after I was called away to attend to "urgent military business".
Coincidentally, someone had left a work order to activate the incinerator on a test run this morning.
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Well, it seems our mayor has mysteriously disappeared. She probably found a higher calling in life, and left the fortress in secret, to travel across the kingdom doing good deeds and living a humble life.
And that is why you do not fuck with Randall Miltonheimer Fragg.
 
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Diary of Randall Frgg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defater of the Nameless Horrors and Militoree Giniss
Entry 20
Havin trouble sleeping lately. The dreams man, they just freak me the fuck out. You'd think you'd get used to walking through a smokefilled nocturne ruin filled with the screams of the dying, but you just dont. been up past few nights, tryin not to sleep. Anyway, status update.
Some dwarven trades from home (what home? this is our home now) came buy. I was able to unload a bunch of mugs and shit for food and steel. good deal.
I've decided to bribe the mayor into stopping trying to implement mandates by giving her a better room. Also made a "light shaft" by installing a glass floor on the surface and burrowing under it.
Most important, Waggy the Wagon, the noble cart that boar us here, has finally been givin a memorial.
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Look like everything going well right now.

Dairy of Randall Fragg, God-emperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Millytary Geneus
Entry 20
The dreams man. I was in the main hall, wreathed in flame. i saw them. hat, Genocide Crusade, Fatty Dingdongs. All burning, helpless, screaming. and at the head of the table, a massive, feathered, hairy thing, coated in slime. It's tiny eyes were of pure hatred, and it's long beak was filled with tenticals. They were covered in teeth. It let out a sound, like a thousand hammers upon a thousand anvils, and i felt my very soul trembling.
Okay, the trembling part was because one of the commanders was shaking me awake. we got us a probalmo.
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There's a giant headed towards the fort. i called up the armed forces and let out the alert. all civilians were told to evacuate the surface and hole up underground.
Most of them obeyed.
and then there were the dipshits who thought 'big ass monster? fuck that shit, i got rocks to haul.'
We waited a bit for them and then just locked them out. too late for them. the archers got to their positions, and all signals were go. we waited.


and waited.









and waited.

after about a day, we were getting nothing but a distant, persistent pounding noise.
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the giant is currently preoccupied with banging on a large stone door that leads to a room that was built on the remains of my orbital magma bombardment platform. I have no idea why the giant is doing this, or why exactly that structure was build and what it was intended to do. we decided it was safe to open the gates for some of the stranded worjkers to come back in.
Except for one exceptional indivudual who just tarded off up the cliff directly towards the giant. Which still didn't notice him, as it was too busy smacking open the unlocked door.
We are currently in a state of siege, waiting for the giant to get bored and wander down to the front.
and that giant's pounding is really getting on my nerves.


Diry of randul fraaggg, diktator 4 life, messia 2 da diqerz, slayer of da namlezz horrz, and militrauiy ehgsdajmdsanucsa
inntry ???
oh fuck man og fuk. the fucking mayor came back from the fuskc dead man. what da dfuck why did happining two me??? I just tryina be gud person, and dis hsit happen. crazy fuking dreams, deemons, fucking gient keep me awake, and now goddamn ghosts.
ghooost.png
whatdafuckmaniduntwantnofuckinghosthangroundtotormentme lik what the fuck? i dont want any of this i dont want the dreams id ont want the ficking giant i dont want da ghosts all i csn think about is the dreams and the burning and the fire. cant stop thinking bout it its everywehete cant get my mind off of it and what THEY whisper in the nigjht.
whymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhywasichoosenforthiswhymustidothiswhymustiburn??????

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Diary of Randall Frag, Godemperor For Life, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Milltary Genius
Entry 22
The giant is dead, I sent out a strike team to kill it. final tally, giant killed within minutes, zero casualties for us. The Ghost has been laid to rest, and things are getting better around here. The greenhouse is nearly complete, it just needs the final glass floors installed. Once finished, this will provide us a way to grow outdoor plants in safety, as well as providing a sheltered place to pasture livestolk.
As for mining, we've reached the depths that we were at before the "incident", yet are currently hampered by the presence of large deposits of lava.
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Expanding our mining capabilities at these depths will help open up the gold and adamintine veins that we once mined.

Diary of Randall Frag, Godemperer for Live, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Militart Genuis
Entry 23
I've gotten word that our capital may be relocatid, and that this colony is being given serious consideration.
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Next caravan of dwarves that arrives must be given tribute, to insure our place as the capital of our glorious nation. it would bring limitless prosparity to the city, and fully cement our legacy. Imagine, a fronter colony to the capital, only in the span of a few years.
To that end I'm currently constructing quarters to be used by the king.
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Additionally, I am no longer troubled by the dreams, for I have seen the way to salvation. These creatures demand blood. And I have a way to give it to them. A great sacrificial temple, built upon the mountain. The ones the community deems worthy shall be plunged into fire, and sink to the bottom of the mountain, into the domain of the outer things.
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A great burning shall commence, and we shall be cleanesd of our sins.

Diary of Randall Frag, Godemperer for Live, Messiah of the Dwarves, Defeater of the Nameless Horrors and Militart Genuis
Entry 23
My shift as overseer has ended, and I now pass my position on.
Things that need to be done:
better training of the siege engine operators.
We have a fuck ton of kids running around. A way of raising them up to be warriors would be much appreciated.
Need better security in the mines, multiple draw bridges would be appriciated. Additionally, placing furniture in the depths may allow the demons to be disracted long enough for the tunnels to be blocked off.
Our clothesmaking industry is going fine.
Need to offer tribute to become the capital.
need to complete the greenhouse.
Here's the save.
 
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