Eli General Thread

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Every time Eli enters a room it's a good time. Example: Both Jace and Tyce's streams from a few days ago. I cracked up when he showed up out of nowhere in Tyce's, and even more when he hadn't even left and Tyce was trying to be all sly and tell us how he scammed Eli. It was like something out of an Adult Swim show. "YOU'RE STILL HERE?"

Jace's heartbreak at the thought of a dead Eli also was pretty reassuring on his part. Stoner Honor Code 4 lyfe.

In many ways I'm actually glad Jace is out of friends. First I thought nothing would top Tyce, but then Eli touched back down on US Soil and it's been a good time ever since. No way in hell can anything beat our stoner Secret Agent Man out of our hearts.
 
eli is a weird but calming constant in the insanely unpredictable life of jace. he's... not smart. but he's agreeable and doesn't have an agenda the way tyce or jace do. he just wants to hang with his friends. :eli:
 
balcolm said:
eli is a weird but calming constant in the insanely unpredictable life of jace. he's... not smart. but he's agreeable and doesn't have an agenda the way tyce or jace do. he just wants to hang with his friends. :eli:
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Eli's a real nigga.
 
balcolm said:
eli is a weird but calming constant in the insanely unpredictable life of jace. he's... not smart. but he's agreeable and doesn't have an agenda the way tyce or jace do. he just wants to hang with his friends. :eli:
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:jacepout:"Dude go kill Tyce and stop the stream"
:eli:"uhh.... what? ...okay"
:tyceknife:"Dude here's a check go away"
:eli:"uhh.... what? ...okay"
 
i've always been real with you guys, so i'll say it straight up. eli is breaking my immersion.

i have smoked a lot of bud. not trying to be dankmaster420 here (quite the opposite, i'm a little ashamed of how much money and time i wasted), but nothing, no amount of high grade chronic has ever made me as goddamn stupid as eli is. driving to assassinate some kid in his moms house, getting bought off by a "check" that's just a greeting card with swatiskas scribbled on it, and then abandoning your car in some puerto ricans lawn?

i seriously wish i had the time and money for a trip up to springfield, because this is the kind shit that i have to see to believe. i'm kinda glad i don't though, because if this is all 100% legit, the insanity appears contagious.
 
93532 said:
i've always been real with you guys, so i'll say it straight up. eli is breaking my immersion.

i have smoked a lot of bud. not trying to be dankmaster420 here (quite the opposite, i'm a little ashamed of how much money and time i wasted), but nothing, no amount of high grade chronic has ever made me as goddamn stupid as eli is. driving to assassinate some kid in his moms house, getting bought off by a "check" that's just a greeting card with swatiskas scribbled on it, and then abandoning your car in some puerto ricans lawn?

i seriously wish i had the time and money for a trip up to springfield, because this is the kind shit that i have to see to believe. i'm kinda glad i don't though, because if this is all 100% legit, the insanity appears contagious.
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Yeah, agreed. The more I watch the more I think at least some of this is just a ruse. Some of this shit is just getting too far-fetched. I mean, I enjoy watching it, I get a kick out of it, but they have to be fucking with us to some degree.
 
I think Eli is fucking adorable. He's like a cross between Nathan Explosion and Silent Bob, plus hefty amounts of ganj.

I would totally hang out with him and have a couple of bifters.
 
The Dude said:
Yeah, agreed. The more I watch the more I think at least some of this is just a ruse. Some of this shit is just getting too far-fetched. I mean, I enjoy watching it, I get a kick out of it, but they have to be fucking with us to some degree.
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I used to know this woman named Shirley. Shirley sincerely believed that she was faking mental illness to get what she called her "crazy check". And to an extent, that was true: Whenever she was around a case worker, she would fake these whacked-out delusions and over-the-top episodes of mania.

What she never seemed to realize, or at least to acknowledge, was that the fakery was really just an exaggeration of the legitimate manias and delusions that disrupted her day-to-day life. Shirley was a truly crazy woman who also thought she was only occasionally faking craziness in order to get benefits. Sometimes the ruse cruise and the reality blur together.
 
mattwan said:
I used to know this woman named Shirley. Shirley sincerely believed that she was faking mental illness to get what she called her "crazy check". And to an extent, that was true: Whenever she was around a case worker, she would fake these whacked-out delusions and over-the-top episodes of mania.

What she never seemed to realize, or at least to acknowledge, was that the fakery was really just an exaggeration of the legitimate manias and delusions that disrupted her day-to-day life. Shirley was a truly crazy woman who also thought she was only occasionally faking craziness in order to get benefits. Sometimes the ruse cruise and the reality blur together.
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tl;dr post incoming, sorry to ramble about this for a bit but I've been turning over this sort of thing in my head a lot lately, especially with Eli's appearance like you said. That in particular reminded me of some sort of shitty backyard wrestling plotline. You know, the kind three speds would write at a McDonald's on the back of a napkin. In crayon. With hashtags and skeletons drawn all over it.

I'm not saying it's fake - the people involved are clearly real people with real mental illnesses, criminal records, phone numbers and addresses - but some of the things they do seem like they might be scripted on some level. One thing though I just don't get the motive. Why would two narcissists who both incapable of laughing at themselves and obsessed with portraying themselves in a positive light (Jace and Tyce) intentionally engineer scenarios to make themselves look like idiots?

I'd think if they were going to fake something like that we'd see a bunch of scenarios portraying Jace and Tyce being paragons of badass, which would actually probably be way funnier than half the shit we're seeing now tbh (I like most of the streams I just get bored to tears when all he does is play a videogame for hours) I'm imagining Eli bursting into Jace's room mid-stream wearing a burkha and mumbling threats in fake Arabic when Jace gets up and says a bunch of Jack Stryker one-liners until the two have a horribly choreographed one-sided fight resulting in triumphant American victory as the coward Muslim flees the scene with his tail between his legs... just in time for Jace to get back to playing Saint's Row and mumbling about the Dorito's lifestyle or w/e like nothing ever happened. That's the kind of thing I'd expect from these three.

The closest we've ever got to any of that was the Eli/Jace/Tyce fight and in that none of them actually came out looking like "cool guys" or really anything besides trailer-trash retards. Jace brought his fucking airsoft gun and was clearly getting off on some weird dominance thing near the end, Eli stole Tyce's wallet and can't fight worth shit, and Tyce was dressed as fucking Skeletor and mumbling about niggers.

I could see a pretty fair parallel between pro wrestling (which we know Jace watches) with Tyce obviously being the heel character and Jace being the face (save for the eyes, of course :jace:) I would almost believe it if tomorrow they came out admitting they'd set up the Civil War as a WWE plotline to make the blogs more interesting or something. But Tyce's introduction would still be iffy for me because if it was fake then they took like 6 months to set him up as a villain (really generous for their attention span and planning) and in the process he dropped a ton of information about Jace that seemed like Jace would never "script" (like Tyce dropping facts about Jace's lazy eye, his porn stash, etc) although then again, if Tyce was designated heel, he's totally the kind of person to overstep his heel boundaries and legit fuck someone over if he got a chance. #TYCED

The only other thing for me is that Jace seems legit torn up over Tyce's fall from grace and constantly laments it in a really depressing way, and it seems really genuine. He does actually cry a few times. I don't see why they'd fake that (or any of the other super-depressing parts) because it'd take away from the entertainment value of a morally black-and-white conflict and the Deagle Boys aren't exactly nuanced people.

I don't know. I'm still of the mind that this shit all happened (maybe I'm too deep in the insanity to see it for what it is, idk) but even if the "scripted events" theory isn't remotely coherent right now, it's fun to consider nonetheless. Scanning your bullshit radar over everything that happens and trying to piece it together into some coherent package is part of the fun of Deagle Nation, after all.
 
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Of the 5 current/former Deagle Boys, Eli is pretty much ranked three in everything, he's the third smartest, the third craziest, the third person I'd hang out with, he's the middle.
In a thread long ago, I think the Tyce thread, I put the members of DN into three tiers. I put Jace and Eli together and gave Tyce his own, but with recent events I made a change.
Colby and Kyle are kinda idiots, but they're nice people. Kyle's a weird vegan guy who smokes a lot of pot and deals it, I'd like to point out that I think Kyle wishes his cat could be vegan, I don't think he actually makes his cat vegan. Colby actually had some intelligent thought in MISIS, when he made a control group of mice and refused to drink pork grease. They're not smart people, but they're not hopelessly stupid either. Both let Jace stay with them when he was kicked out which speaks volumes about who they are. They helped a friend in need and, stupid or not, that's cool in my book. Also, I haven't heard any "OMG Colby needs help" or "Good Lord Kyle is crazy." comments.

Jace and Tyce are lost in their own delusions and really need help. Though I think Jace is more delusional, Tyce is more dangerous. I don't think I need I eloborate, I just need to say "wolfkin" and "#fergizon"
Then there's the lone wolf in "Tier 2". If Colby and Kyle lived together, Eli could probably live there too without problems (with the rare exception of a broken table). Eli can also go on crazy Tyce and Jace adventures. Eli is like a waterbear, he just adapts to whatever situation he's in.
He's the mean, the average, the balance, the :eli:
 
Count groudon said:
So with the amount of times he's been sent out to kill people, is he like Deagle Nation's official assassain or something?
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Eli is basically Jace's errand boy. Whenever Jace has a problem lately his solution seems to default to "Send Eli to deal with it". I think Jace has grown really dependent on the fact that Eli is absurdly suggestible and will seemingly never say no to any command because he basically has no direction in life whatsoever so he just "goes along with it".

Pikonic said:
Eli is like a waterbear, he just adapts to whatever situation he's in.
He's the mean, the average, the balance, the :eli:
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That's what's so great about Eli. His crippling ambivalence to everything has literally saved his life (and possibly Tyce's life) on multiple occasions. In sharp contrast to Jace and Tyce's ruthless determination to accomplish their own equally impossible goals (Tyce starting the skeleton war, Jace nuking Mecca) and all the pain that's caused them, Eli stands out because he just doesn't really care about anything including his own safety, as long as he gets to play Runescape. He doesn't bother with any grand crusades to save the world because that's irrelevant to him, he literally just wants to jerk off and play video games for the rest of his life.

dcisp really hit the nail on the head:
dcisp said:
:jacepout:"Dude go kill Tyce and stop the stream"
:eli:"uhh.... what? ...okay"
:tyceknife:"Dude here's a check go away"
:eli:"uhh.... what? ...okay"
Click to expand...

So ironically, if Jace and Tyce's cardinal sins were trying too hard, being too dead-set on one goal, Eli's cardinal sin is that he is a complete nihilist who is so out of it and hapless he can't actually even form a strong opinion about anything except that vikings are cool. That's why he's so fucking entertaining, he acts as a perfect foil for the rest of Deagle Nation while still being stupid as hell in his own way.
 
Count groudon said:
So with the amount of times he's been sent out to kill people, is he like Deagle Nation's official assassain or something?
Click to expand...
No he's just the only one to not question the commanders authority.
 
Pikonic said:
Of the 5 current/former Deagle Boys, Eli is pretty much ranked three in everything, he's the third smartest, the third craziest, the third person I'd hang out with, he's the middle.
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The third smartest? Really? I'd say he's easily the dumbest member of DN. He acts like he is Jace's slave or manservant or something, of his own volition.
 
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