🎨 Artcow Ellen Woodbury / Pizzacake / Pizzacakecomic - A 40 year old webcomic artist, mother, porn star, misandrist, dramacow and Reddit celebrity. Threatens to sue her critics and cuckolds her husband. Female Andrew Dobson.

[RazorBackBacon]

New cat-related comic from Patreon.

View attachment 8926561

Not just Ellen related but I think it's time to retire le relatable cat comix. What can possibly be said about owning a cat that hasn't been said a million times by a million hack comic artists already?

Anyway, cat comics are dumb, Ellen is dumb for drawing one, and I would not subscribe to her Patreon.

 

[Baraka Obama]

Looks like r/DoomerCircleJerk is immune to her nonsense, or she's loosing steam.

Dartmouth has so many serious issues that many normal people could relate to that she could make comics out of.

There's a real affordability problem there, Dartmouth used to be Welfare City because it was so cheap like you could get a crap apartment in a bad area for like $300 a month. The same units in the same bad areas are now getting closer to $2500 a month. Renovictions are common, people who've lived in the area all their life with roots going back hundreds of years unable to afford to survive, even elderly people being pushed into dangerous tent cities living side by side with fentanyl addicts. Out-of-towners have flooded in fleeing from the browner parts of Canada along with more browns and made the whole city have a weird foreign feel.

The politicians in the area stand greatly to benefit from the unaffordability because they are deeply connected to real estate developers. They approve absolutely insane projects, just outside downtown dartmouth they've approved building four 40-story "luxury" condominiums next to a dangerous ghetto and sandwiched between two of the tent cities.

But really, isn't this a familiar story in so many places in the us, uk, australia? She could take these local issues and write more interesting comics about familiar issues affecting real people.

But no, orange man bad.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Dartmouth has so many serious issues that many normal people could relate to that she could make comics out of.

There's a real affordability problem there, Dartmouth used to be Welfare City because it was so cheap like you could get a crap apartment in a bad area for like $300 a month. The same units in the same bad areas are now getting closer to $2500 a month. Renovictions are common, people who've lived in the area all their life with roots going back hundreds of years unable to afford to survive, even elderly people being pushed into dangerous tent cities living side by side with fentanyl addicts. Out-of-towners have flooded in fleeing from the browner parts of Canada along with more browns and made the whole city have a weird foreign feel.

The politicians in the area stand greatly to benefit from the unaffordability because they are deeply connected to real estate developers. They approve absolutely insane projects, just outside downtown dartmouth they've approved building four 40-story "luxury" condominiums next to a dangerous ghetto and sandwiched between two of the tent cities.

But really, isn't this a familiar story in so many places in the us, uk, australia? She could take these local issues and write more interesting comics about familiar issues affecting real people.

But no, orange man bad.

She will never ever touch those topics because they can't be summed up in a 2-4 panel strawman comic with a "F#ck Drumpf!" punchline, and would instead open herself up to actual political discourse that she could never survive.

 

[harbringer883]

Looks like r/DoomerCircleJerk is immune to her nonsense, or she's loosing steam.

View attachment 8925950View attachment 8925946

Now watch the mods of that sub get removed and replaced or just getting outright banned.

 

[Girly Games Dot Com]

Dartmouth has so many serious issues that many normal people could relate to that she could make comics out of.

There's a real affordability problem there, Dartmouth used to be Welfare City because it was so cheap like you could get a crap apartment in a bad area for like $300 a month. The same units in the same bad areas are now getting closer to $2500 a month. Renovictions are common, people who've lived in the area all their life with roots going back hundreds of years unable to afford to survive, even elderly people being pushed into dangerous tent cities living side by side with fentanyl addicts. Out-of-towners have flooded in fleeing from the browner parts of Canada along with more browns and made the whole city have a weird foreign feel.

The politicians in the area stand greatly to benefit from the unaffordability because they are deeply connected to real estate developers. They approve absolutely insane projects, just outside downtown dartmouth they've approved building four 40-story "luxury" condominiums next to a dangerous ghetto and sandwiched between two of the tent cities.

But really, isn't this a familiar story in so many places in the us, uk, australia? She could take these local issues and write more interesting comics about familiar issues affecting real people.

But no, orange man bad.

That’s just every Canadian now. Ever since Liberals capitalized on Trump joking about making Canada the 51st state and adding tariffs they’ve been bitter and obsessed. I always found the east coast Canadians live in a bubble and what you said about people fleeing there makes so much sense.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

This is the continuation of part 12. The beginning is here.

Spoiler: Callous and unemotional traits, part 1, continued

Spoiler: Despite The Virus, continued

Spoiler: This Is a Complex

The next two songs come from another platform, Reverbnation, the platform which we've looked at before due to its "about me" page.
The first one of these is titled This is a Complex.
This particular song is unique in one way, specifically, it features another person singing...which is a rapper with a heavy british accent. Not sure what region though.
While it's a wild theory, considering that one of Jeff's and Ellen's early foreign trips involved Birmingham, it's possible they met the guy there...or something, idk. Let''s just get to the song.

---

This is a Complex

---

(This is a complex, this-this is a complex)

You got up in the daily crunch
Too many ways to say too much
The words go south, stuck in your mouth
Everyone, it's time to spit it out
They draw the lines you stay inside
Everyone's got somethin' to hide
Say it again, under your breath
Bla, bla, bla, it's all in your head

(Hurry, hurry, hurry up)

Hurry, hurry, hurry up
They won't stay around for long
You gotta make the most of all this life
Everything you do is a waste of time
How can we not fall behind?
We're just runnin' on the spot,
We're just runnin' on the spot
This is a complex

(This is a complex, this-this is a complex)

(Yo, listen, I'm sittin' in a complex, chillin'
Kinda two faced, but the kid's just willin'
To be who you are, and not who I am
I gotta fit in, just to be a better man
I been bein' this way since a little tiny puppy
Bollocks, now we're here to rock the party
D. T. V. / as in Despite The Virus
YEAH, IT'S TIME TO GET IT STARTED
These blokes go crazy over beats and the band
Givin' everything up and lettin' it all hang
Rubbish everywhere, rubbish in the air
This is a complex, we'll get you out of here
I hope you understand everything that I'm sayin'
True to one self, no copycat playin'
Remember, this is a complex
You are a complex
Get on the dance floor, happy) / sang by an unknown british rapper

(Hurry, hurry, hurry up)

Hurry, hurry, hurry up
They won't stay around for long
You gotta make the most of all this life
Everything you do is a waste of time
How can we not fall behind?
We're just runnin' on the spot
We're just runnin' on the spot
This is a complex

(This is a complex, this-this is a complex)

Too much thought could lead to action
Just go buy the next distraction
It gets you close, but not enough
Can you keep up with keepin' up?
Don't stop movin', stick with the crowd
You've come this far, so why stop now?
Do the right thing, use the right words
Bla, bla, bla, but nobody heard

(Hurry, hurry, hurry up)

Hurry, hurry, hurry up
They won't stay around for long
You gotta make the most of all this life
Everything you do is a waste of time
How can we not fall behind?
We're just runnin' on the spot
We're just runnin' on the spot
This is a complex

(This is a complex, this-this is a complex)

---

The theme of the song is compliance to society and not being able to speak your true thoughts.
This is...concerning, considering that Jeff is a rapist and an emotional manipulator. If the song is about him...then it might have been a coping mechanism.
Then again, as Ellen wrote this song, it could also be about her. We don't really know whether she writes the songs based on what Jeff tells her, or Jeff is only the singer/composer and nothing more.
"The complex" the song talks about seems to be some sort of a rehab...or, at least, this is what it appears to be. I think it's moreso meant to represent psychological complexes.

A complex is a structure in the unconscious that is objectified as an underlying theme—like a power or a status—by grouping clusters of emotions, memories, perceptions and wishes in response to a threat to the stability of the self. In psychoanalysis, it is antithetical to drives.

An example of a complex would be as follows: if a person had a leg amputated as a child, this would influence the person's life in profound ways, even upon overcoming the physical handicap. The person may have many thoughts, emotions, memories, feelings of inferiority, triumphs, bitterness, and determinations centering on that one aspect of life. If these thoughts were troubling and pervasive, Jung might say the person had a "complex" about the leg.

The reality of complexes is widely agreed upon in the area of depth psychology, a branch of psychology asserting that the vast majority of the personality is determined and influenced by unconscious processes. Complexes are common features of the psychic landscape, according to Jung's accounting of the psyche, and often become relevant in psychotherapy to examine and resolve, most especially in the journey toward individuation or wholeness. Without resolution, complexes continue to exert unconscious, maladaptive influence on our thoughts, feelings, and behavior and keep us from achieving psychological integration.

In short, they're subconscious grievances with oneself, something a person subconsciously loathes.
For example, Ellen has complexes about her breast size.
(archive)

So, what is the complex referred to in the song?
Let's analyze the lyrics some more.

The first verse is about living your life, being afraid of what you speak out loud, having to hide your true feelings due to societal boundaries...this is, again, extremely concerning in the context of Jeff writing and singing these lyrics...with the narrator telling everyone to just "spit it out" and that the roadblocks are purely mental.

In the chorus, the narrator tells you to hurry up and get over this complex because the lfie's too short for that, and without that push, nothing in your life would change.

Then, we get to the rap by that unknown british rapper, where he, as a "kid", explains how he had to hide his true feelings from everyone for all of his life to comply with society, and how he, in the complex, has found solace and other people with the same problem, to support each other in their quest for change...or something.

The third verse is about using drugs as a temporary pleasure and an escape from the depressing reality...and, then, how, when you finally decided to speak what you wanted to speak all this time...there's no one left to listen.

So, yeah, the song is...pretty fucked up, if you think about it.
After all, if Jeff's complex is "women think I'm an emotional manipulator", as Ellen has expressed a few times (which we'll get to in a later subsection), then this can be seen the same way as those very same rape academy groups Ellen spoke so much about.
If it's about Ellen...then she seems to have a very simillar mentality...which seems very consistent with how she handles conflicts and relations with her friends nowadays.

Spoiler: Misc. (Cut Out, Problem and Sixtinth

The next few songs will be extremely easy to cover, as none of them feature actual vocals.

The first of them is Cut Out, sounding a lot like Minecraft noteblock covers, featuring no lyrics whatsoever.

Then...we get to Jeff's Soundcloud, featuring Problem.

Again, no discernable lyrics, though, this time, some robotic voice spews gibberish.
I wasn't able to decode anything from it, however.

...but, there's a "problem"...
There are TWO Despite The Virus Soundclouds!

Interestingly, the second of these has the following URL and features the same songs as Youtube.


There's, however, one more relevant account, that being Jeff Desjardins 1, featuring the song "Sixtinth", labeled as "Demo".

As per usual, it's entirely instrumental and, thus, of no interest to us here, but this time, it's possible that it's due to this song being an unfinished WIP.

...but there's one more song from that time period we'll have to cover, the lost song, played by Jeff in a Facebook video from 2016...and it's...extremely interesting.

Spoiler: Nobody's Crying

I've brought up Despite The Virus's Facebook there a few times, but here's the actual link.
As I've stated before, in 2016, he made the following video, of him singing a song Ellen and him wrote six years prior, but which they never recorded.

---

Nobody's Crying

---

Lit up green on the billboard scene
Queen for the junkyard times
Fifteen and wild with a gasoline smile
That could set the whole town on fire

The silence that followed in the wake of her absence
rumbled through the neighborhood watch
No one cries, it interferes with the guard, and
she was just another notch

Nobody noticed the neighbor's new Focus
He closes in fast from behind
She was born long and slim and can fit into a trunk
If he knows the right places to bind

The silence that followed in the wake of her absence
rumbled through the neighborhood watch
No one cries, it interferes with the guard, and
she was just another notch

Short lived fame for the way he enraged
All remains to bring him luck
Forgotten story that nobody's mourning
The flower so carelessly plucked

The silence that followed in the wake of her absence
rumbled through the neighborhood watch
No one cries, it interferes with the guard, and
she was just another notch

Nobody's crying
Nobody's crying
Nobody's crying
Nobody's crying

---

...welp.
This is, probably, the darkest song of them all.
No wonder it never got recorded!
...I sure do hope it has no deeper meaning to uncover...

The first verse is...very familliar...
Just like with Followed By Nothing, the song starts off by introducing the song's subject, here, a fifteen year old girl, that, just like in Followed By Nothing, is living amongst the trash.
The girl's also described as being "wild" and having a "gasoline smile", which, besides the whole junkyard thing, tells us she's a rebel type.
We'll get to the chorus after the second verse.
That one describes a kidnapping of the girl, by a neighbour who stalked up on her, bound her, and trapped her in his trunk...

...but, wait, notice how Jeff uses the words "long and slim" to describe her again?
Yeahhhh, that's very simillar to the way he described the subject of Followed By Nothing (You're too tall, much too tall).

Then, the chorus, describing how, even though her kidnapping was felt all over the neighbourhood...no one actually cared about it.

The third verse tells us the neighbour got away with it without many consequences, and the incident was all but forgotten about...
...but it also tells us the girl was raped and lost her virginity (The flower so carelessly plucked).

Now...considering what we've listened and analyzed...I think it's safe to assume that Followed By Nothing...is a part two of this song.
They seem to both talk about the same incident, with Nobody's Crying being about the kidnapping and rape as it happened, with Followed By Nothing being the aftermath.
The similarities in the names of the songs can also not be understated, especially as the album Followed By Nothing was a lead single in was called Followed By Silence...

...but this, naturally, leads us to a darker realisation...

So, Followed By Nothing talks about an incident on a "December night" "seven years ago", right?
As both songs were written in 2010, this would place this incident in December of 2002 or 2003. As Followed By Nothing was one of the first songs of the two, written in early 2010, I'm leaning towards 2002.

Ellen's birthday is on November 27th, 1987. This meant that, when the song was written, in early 2010, she'd be 22.
Now...let's go back seven years...to December of 2002...
...
...
She'd be 15.

Now, do you remember that ealrier post of her I've shown that states she got addicted to alcohol around the age of 15?

...I think this is due to this incident being her breaking point.

Remember, this is also around the age that she started sleeping around with older guys exclusively and had several abusive relationships with men.


So, yeah...this song, as well as Followed by Nothing...are very likely songs about Ellen being raped as a teenager and her coping with it.

If this is true...and it very likely is...this is, most likely, the reason why Ellen has so much hate towards men.

She was harassed by men ever since the age of nine.

She lost her virginity at the age of 15, after she was kidnapped and raped by her neighbour, who got away with it scot free...
She was drugged and raped by many men who exploited her rebellious nature...
Her first romantic partner and her first proper virginity loss was with a 21 year old at the age of 16...while legal at the time, still fucked.
Her second romantic partner was a chronic abuser that caused Ellen even more PTSD

and whom she made several comics about (as seen in deviancy, when I talk about rape)
Then...when she finally got away with it all and found a shit job at a call center, and a perfect man...she two timed him with a cheating, manipulative rapist coward who hid his true emotions behind songs and whom convinced Ellen he's better for her.
(On a side note, note how he refers to "Ellen" so often via her being tall and slim? Why would he accentuate her traits that make her so easy to rape?)
Then, when her actual husband found out about all of this, Jeff forced her into a relationship and impregnated her against her will, babytrapping them, then convincing her she did the right move.
After all of that...it's not surprising that she would develop this hatred for every man alive.
All of her problems in life were caused by men.
The trauma she got from all of this...never went away. Never healed. She never seeked help for any of this...
She simply stayed...with Jeff...

Spoiler: Life with Jeff

As we've seen before, in October of 2011, after Elisabeth was born, Jeff started working at Ellen's new job, Eastlink.

Initially, he did so to support the family during Ellen's eight month long maternity leave, but he ended up working there for the next 11 years.

While he and Ellen still made songs on the side, Jeff's main profession was being a stay-at-home dad.

During that period, Ellen suffered through a six month long PPD, which negatively impacted the relationship.

Jeff thought it'd be the end of the relationship, apparently.

They also moved to a rented out house shortly after, which they lived at up until 2023, same one Sharty doxxed instead of her current address.


In late 2012, Ellen made her first Reddit account, u/sexyhangnail, which she used primarly to talk about the struggles of her real life.
While comments like these seem funny today, it's how she genuinely ran her account.

A lot of this was complete randomness.

A lot of them, however, were genuine questions...albeit she did use Reddit like her personal psychiatrist...

Let's go through some of her early history then, both to give you some idea on how this account functioned, but also to show you how Ellen and Jeff's relationship looked like at that point in time.

So, about Ellen's complexes...yeah, in some ways, she had even worse ones back in the day.

It shouldn't surprise you, but Ellen had just as much difficulty with opsec as she does now.



On this platform, she also shared some of her early art, including the furry comic which I've shown you before.

Man, so much of this is irony incarnate.



In October of 2012, however, Ellen would first start expressing her grievances with Jeff.
First, by writing this reply to a guy explaining why he cheats on his gf.

In addition to some interesting insights about emotional cheating...she also admits to being a polyamorist...which helps explain her two timing her husband and Jeff.

Speaking of him...in a first big expressions of her grievances with him, she wrote a post about his possessive nature, asking for advice.

She wrote several replies on this post, elaborating on the situation...stating that she can't really trust him and that she's enabling his dangerous habits.

Some people have stated he might be lust driven, believing that all other men are competition to his gf.

When people asked her to talk with him about his issues, she said he gets very quiet.

That's also where that comment from ealrier occured.

Yeah...these issues are definitely a result of his possesiveness, not wanting to have something what he did to Ellen's husband happen to him this time.

In other replies, she stated that he's very communicative about his problems, but he never wants to resolve them.

She also asked people with healthy relationships about how they did it.

She got a few helpful tips on the matter.

Her blaming herself for having men come onto her...

and her blaming Jeff.

But...she also says she got cheated on before.

That's new. I wonder by whom?


A lot of her replies from this period were about a simillar set of issues, so I'll just quickly flash some.

From more interesting things, around that time, Ellen developed her workaholism.

This is when she started her first course, graphic design, to develop her drawing skills.
Did it pay off?


...ehhhhh.

Besides a long rant about how 4Chan hating Justin "Beiber" is utterly stupid, she also made this reply...which is interesting, in the context of what we've seen before.

AGREED!

This post might explain why the two didn't marry for such a long time.

Ellen judges people based on their looks.

From under the same post.

This is interesting.

This also.

Ellen doesn't like being asked asked for sex, but have it more spontaneous...

Does this sound like a CNC fetish?
...sorta?
Though she does prefer to be dominant.

...hey, that reminds me of a particular comic she would end up making 11 years later!

Yeah, I'll have to start skipping forward a bit. There's just so much of interesting tidbits within those first few months.


I feel like this comment, however, is a good jumping off point for the further discussion.

Oh, before then, the thing I was looking for, Ellen saying she wrote all of the songs...which is interesting.

Again, I'm not sure how much this actually affects the songs, but it possibly leads to alternate interpretations of several of them.

Anyway...Ellen made a post about not having female friends.

She became scared of failure.

She struggled more and more with Jeff.

She started questioning herself.

Her not fitting in.

But, Jeff...her partner...was still too much for her to handle.

To fix their problems, they went on foreign trips.
They went to Birmingham.
Maine.
Boston.
Dublin.
Ellen started being less and less active on her Reddit...but when she was, her activity there was same as it ever been...if not worse...
Rape nightmares.

Chases.

She tried going on a diet...but that didn't work.

Then again, with no results.


Worst of all, the issues between her and Jeff only grew and grew...

After a year of infrequent posting...and a large amount of ranting about Masterchef...

her posts...sorta became random.

But, during this time, Ellen and Jeff had other priorities...
Besides Despite The Virus and Dial Tones, after a lot of trying for one, in an attempt to salvage their relationship...they had a second child.

I swear, every accussation is a confession at this point...
(archive)

Boston (we'll get to the origin of his name in a bit) born on October 28,

was to keep the relationship going, despite all of its problems.

That never happened, however.
The two slowly drifted apart, as represented in a work of Ellen from a few years later.

Jeff was tired of life, wanting to just...disappear.

This period is also when Ellen made that "love" video, to show Jeff just how much she cared for him.

However, for the next few years...nothing would really change...until we get to 2021, and the debut of Pizzacake.
Being a big break for Ellen, this got them the attention she craved for a long time.
In addition to this, however, Ellen and Jeff started experimenting, trying new things in the relationship, to keep it going.
One of them was, presumably, having sex in the office.
How did it work out?

Yeah...both of them got fired early February.
Jeff joined Micco Companies a few months later.


Ellen, however, turned to Patreon full time.
In addition to this, however, in mid 2022, would suggest to Jeff the idea of cuckolding.
To get the "emotional satisfaction" she needed, she would, with his consent, invite guys over to her place


or go out to orgies.

They signed up for ProjectVoyeur for this purpose, but they haven't used this site since September 8 of that year.

Besides drawing porn comics of the two, including one on his birthday.
(link 1) (link 2) (link 3)
(archive 1) (archive 2) (archive 3)

she had also made two sextapes with him, as we've discussed,

Spoiler: NSFL (How researching this felt like)

This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.

but also verified him on Onlyfans.

That is in addition to her already using Jeff in a shit ton of regular comics by that point, as well as selling pics of him on Patreon.
(archive)
(kemono)

Oh hey, I didn't know her other sister was on her Patreon!
Good I saw this before I got to the relevant section.


I've talked about his portrayal in the comics before in deviancy, so we'll skip forward to 2024, where, following the backlash from the Talk comic, he bought Ellen an engagement ring to make up for it (as first seen in her Canada Day cosplays)

and took her out to Iceland.

Spoiler: NSFW (thumbnails)

Then, the whole marriage shebang, we all know of that by now...but then, we get to Jeff's firing from Micco Companies.

after which, he became employed at Ellen's company instead, becoming a stay at home dad Ellen always wanted him to be-I mean, that he always wanted to be.

However, with this, he found himself in the same situation he found himself all those years ago...and you know what that meant.

DESPITE THE VIRUS IS BACK, BABY!

Spoiler: Despite The Virus: Revengeance

This year, in 2026, Jeff has, thus far, released two songs, Autumnsville and Bend Me.
Knowing my luck, and since these two, quite literally, released during me writing my psycho analysis, this will expand by a song tomorrow, so if the list is outdated, only blame his productiveness.

Let's get back to analysis then!

Spoiler: Autumnsville

The first of the two current songs is Autumnsville, released by Jeff...in February.
As you can see, it got a shit ton of traction when it released, both on Facebook...

and Youtube.

Interestingly, DJ T-dot is still involved with this...that is, if this list is even accurate.
Both Jeff and Ellen are listed as composer lyricists, composers and songwriters, so either the autogenerator looked at Party Girl and copied everything directly, or the song has multiple composers, songwriters and composer lyricists.

The album cover for this one, Ellen released on her Patreon a few months prior.
(archive)
(kemono)

Interestingly, in the actual cover, Ellen's face is blurred.
No idea whether that's intentional, to distance himself from Pizzacake, or symbolical, due to the theme of the music being Ellen's blindness to her surroundings.

Anyway, let's begin the song analysis.

---

Autumnsville

---

Nothing here can hurt you
It's just an eerie breeze
Let's sit and watch the moments pass
The slowly falling leaves
There's only winter up ahead
And all bad days have passed
In the little town of Autumnsville
The sun is at your back

Meet me on the orange hills
We're gonna go to Autumnsville
Where the daylight passes through your eyes
We're gonna go to Autumnsville

The air is very crispy here
We quickly waste our time
But you'll never see it passing
With all the foliage in your eyes
Everything is tiresome
The creatures always sleep
It's a lazy kind of lust I have
There's nothing here to keep

Meet me on the orange hills
We're gonna go to Autumnsville
Where the daylight passes through your eyes
We're gonna go to Autumnsville

---

Bar the rhyming being worse than usual, leading to "passing" and "tiresome" having to be extended for an extra syllable each, the song is...pretty interesting.
I've actually sorta covered the relevant context already, but not in full detail.

In early July of 2025, Jeff took Ellen out to Sensea Nordic Spa.

Notably, he had to convince her to go, since her workaholism had gotten to absurd levels by then.

Ellen had actually made a comic about that before.
(archive)


This song seems to be exactly about this, Jeff trying to convince Ellen to go out and enjoy the autumn before the winter falls, as a last ditch effort.
Most of it is just Jeff enjoying the autumn. Not much to analyse besides that.
The next song, however...is gonna be much, much harder.

Spoiler: Bend Me

There's not much to say about the song by itself. It only got a few dozen views, and released on Youtube exclusively, with no prior warning.

One thing, however, is the cover for the song.
Specifically, it's a cropped drawing of Ellen from many years ago, with some details removed.
(archive)

---

Bend Me

---

I feel poseable, so bend me again
I feel just like a flexible friend
And it feels like I'm posing a threat to you
And you hoped then that I won't get the best of you

Maybe you should keep open, should be sleeping with one eye open
It's so easy to manipulate me, your sharp words intimidate me
Destructive force show no remorse
I only bend so much until you break me

Still a bit tender, so bend me again
It's hard to depend on those flexible friends
Stay 'till the end, 'till I defeat this
You mistake my kindness for weakness
Maybe you should keep open, should be sleeping with one eye open
It's so easy to manipulate me, your sharp words intimidate me
Destructive force show no remorse
I only bend so much until you break me

---

I feel like this song is the worst to analyse...because the most logical way to view this song would be to treat this as Jeff threathening Ellen.
But, of course, if Ellen wrote the lyrics...then it surely can't be that.
In any case, the song's about emotional manipulation, with the song's narrator telling the subject to "bend them again" because they percieve them to be a credible threat.

The lyrics are just death threats along the lines of "go on, I dare you, fuck with me again and you won't be able to sleep at night".

The second verse, then, reveals that the narrator is not the only person being manipulated, then the narrator threathening the subject some more, by stating that they're merely holding back.

...yeah, no idea. If you put Jeff as a narrator, Ellen as the subject, and the "flexible friends" as Ellen's simps...it works...but there could be other cases that I don't know of.

If you've got any better explanation, tell me.

Besides this, in the video you've seen before, when I've discussed Ellen's alcohol addiction, Jeff acts disinterested, then teasing, when Ellen tells him she saw a bird.

It's something typical to Jeff, as she has made a comic about this before.
(archive)
(kemono)


It's interesting to see how, despite their relationship being formed on emotional manipulation, sexual abuse and lies, it has still survived sixteen years...and nothing has gotten any better...
Hell, the only reason they are still together, as Ellen indirectly revealed, are her children.

I guess it's time to talk about those.

Spoiler: Lack of care for her children

As we've seen before, Liz wasn't planned, while Boston was.
This meant that Ellen was still smoking during early pregnancy and dropped it for the child...and Jeff never dropped it at all.
This also meant that Ellen, not prepared to be a mother, dreaded everything related to childbirth and breastfeeding.

Oh, and I do mean "everything!" She has made so many posts about why she hates breastfeeding and went with formula!

After all, it's the one thing she can't outsource to Jeff!

Then, the names.
Elisabeth, Liz for short, is named after Ellen's grandma, Elisabeth. This is also why several of Ellen's internet usernames from that time are "Ellen Elisabeth".
Boston, on the other hand, comes from the city of origin of the Scout from Jeff's favourite video game at the time, Team Fortress 2.

...
...
...yeah, I'm pulling your leg...but the actual reason, besides Ellen's love of Boston, might honestly be even stupider.
Boston's Pizza is a popular pizza chain from Canada.
In 2014, around a year before the conception of Boston, they've ran an event called "Pizza Game Changers" with several unique promotional items, including "Pizza cake".
(wikipedia)
(link)
(article)

Now...a promotional item, released around the time when Ellen and Jeff were trying for a child (which took them a while due to Ellen nuking her diet with keto) by a Canadian pizza chain named Boston's Pizza...hmmmm....
Yeah, as much as Ellen wants to prevent people from learning the origins of Boston's name and how much she claims she didn't even know Pizzacake existed by the time of Pizzacake's creation...

the coincidences just keep piling on...
The fact Ellen likely named both her business AND her son after a meme item in a fast food chain is truly something, and something only she could pull off.
It seems that even Ellen is sorta ashamed of it, as, while she will freely give out Liz's name in her comics...

she goes out of her way to avoid using Boston's, only referring to him as "buddy" or "he".

In fact, I think the only comic she has actually called him by his name is this one, from early 2022, which I've shown before when we've discussed her recklessness.

She seems to have trained herself not to use Boston's name, as seen in her first Q&A...which will bring us to the next point, their depiction in the comics and why it's so dangerous.

...oh, yeah, their bios were on Ellen's Tumblr...

She has drawn a lot of art of them for quite a while now, but since, before 2021, they were meant to cater exclusively to her family and friends, they weren't as much of a concern as they became later on.
I've shown you some of these at the start of irritability.

However, this trend didn't stop with Ellen becoming a full time "comics artist", hell, it even ramped up.
Going into her Tumblr's archive, scrolling to the very first comics she uploaded there, the comics circled in red involve one or both of her kids.

As you can also see, every other comic involves either another family member, or Honey, her cat. This early Pizzacake is probably what most people believe Ellen's actual output is.
Their mental disorders were a subject of several comics, including, most infamously, this one, exhibiting horrible lack of understanding of what ADHD is.
(archive)

This brings us to the next point...her oversharing massively about her kids.

To her, giving away every single piece of medical info of her kids is beneficial to society, as it raises awareness of autism/ADHD.
(archive)

This also makes comments like these (this one left on a part of Mombie where her daughter gets "bit by a zombie") all the more ironic.
(archive)

Of course, there's also this that can be added to this pile.

By including her children in her comic, not only is she exposing her to the creeps of the internet that have already made porn of them both, but also promotes her own porn.
Most of her comics do so indirectly.
I'm putting her uploading comics featuring her children right next to porn on the same level.

Spoiler: NSFW (examples) (thumbnails)

I bet I missed one or two.
...I wonder what Ellen has to say about endangering her children like that?

...lovely!

More directly, however, Ellen has made at least one comic involving her daughter that was a direct ad for one of her not-yet-naked-but-still-goonerbait cosplays she made for her Patreon back in 2022.This comic,
(archive)

which she-
(link 1) (link 2) (link 3)
(archive 1) (archive 2) (archive 3)
(kemono 1) (kemono 2) (kemono 3)



...I wish I could say I did this on purpose.
I'm actually shocked...but, it does a very good segway to another problem relating to Ellen.

See, whether it's on purpose or not, Ellen exposes her children to content that they should not be consuming at that age.
Bar her bloody Patreon cosplays, apparently...this also includes a lot of other things.
- MLP porn
(archive)

- Destiny's Child
(archive)

- Britney Spears
(archive)

- a lot more of those

- herself as a drunk teenager
(archive)

- girls shitting themselves

- the details of her conception
(archive)

- the details of her conception, again
(archive)

- creeps who make jokes about Ellen sending her goatse pics
(archive)

- FNAF...this one will need a bit more elaborating
In early November of 2023, Ellen took Liz to the FNAF movie.
(archive)
(kemono)

She also took Boston to the premiere of FNAF 2.
(archive)
...yeah, I know that FNAF games aren't really scary and they're seemingly designed with kids in mind.
The movies, however?
FNAF 1.

FNAF 2.

Second of all, the movies are 13+.
Liz was 11-12 when Ellen took her to the movie.
Boston was 10.
I don't have as much issues with her taking Liz, especially as she seemingly loves scary stuff and death.



Boston?

One of the traits of his autism, as Ellen often depicts him, is his difficulty processing information.

This is also why, in the cardinal video, Boston seemingly ignores Ellen telling him about the bird, while also asking her to play with him.
Oh, and because I don't think I'll have an opportunity to say it here, Liz calls her out on her BS immediately, recognising that this is just a dumb TikTok trend.

So...why then would Ellen take her 10 year old son that cannot process information and doesn't understand what's happening unless patiently explained to...to a horror movie that's an, as the Common Sense Media puts it, "Abysmal, illogical, and unwatchable horror sequel."?

At least to me, it seems as if Ellen's taking her shitty upbringing and raising her kids in the simillar fashion, because she had it worse.
And, I mean...

I wonder if she ever changed her stance on this?

Lastly, I'll just put this here, from one of my ealrier posts.
On 12 March, 2023, Ellen posted the following photo of Boston.

Note the caption.

She elaborated on it on the post from a few days later.

Yup, by that point, Ellen has kept Boston away from school for a week due to the support workers strike.
She made a text post about it later.

She, then, got pissed when she got a call from school for taking her son out of school, asking her to do the reasonable thing and act as a support worker for her disabled son.
She said no.

The final post on the matter is this, supposedly heartwarming, image, of the son waiting for a bus that never arrived...except it's BS! IT WAS THE SUPPORT WORKERS, NOT FUCKING DRIVERS! BESIDES, ELLEN HAS A CAR AND HER JOB IS, QUITE LITERALLY, SITTING ON HER ASS AND WRITING SHITTY COMICS/TAKING PORN PICS!


So, Ellen, a person who doesn't have a regular job and a supposed fighter for worker's rights, took her son out of school foir a month to shit on support workers rights,

That'd be it for irresponsible parenting and using her kids to advertise her porn.
Let's move on to her relationships with the rest of her family.

Spoiler: Lack of care for her born family

I'm sorry for the quality of this section, I'll to consult my co-researcher about it as she knows a lot more on the subject than I do.

Ellen's family seems to be all sorts of weird. Hell, her mother switched partners with her twin!

Here's a family drawing, done by Alice.
(archive)

From left to right, Jeff, Boston, Ellen, Liz, Alice, Carole (Ellen's mother), Alice's husband, Alice, Anne, Anne's children, Anne's husband.
However, for as much as Ellen seems to hate her childhood...she at least respects her parents.
Her dad, specifically.
For instance, he was the one who encouraged her to draw when she was little.

She describes him as a quiet, no-nonsense, gruff kinda guy that she was the favourite child of and who was the only one to give her attention, apparently.

She made a comic about this.

She described the circumstances around his death, at the age of 10, in the following comment.

Losing him heavily impacted her.

This was especially because, shortly afterwards, her aunt nearly bancrupted her family via a fraudulent lawsuit.

Her mother, then, is featured in severalofher comics, mostly portrayed as a christian wildcard, whose backwards way of thinking always comes to fruition.

There's also this one, which we've already covered.

She...doesn't seem to like her very much.
(archive)


She also believes that she's in a cult.
(archive)

Apparently, also a conspiracy theorist.
(archive)


Alice, Ellen's older sister, is a professional artist.



Her bio used to feature Pizzacake, but she has since removed it.


I wonder why?

Ellen has featured her in comics from time to time, portraying her as a bit of an anxious klutz.


She was also featured twice on Ellen's Patreon, both in the form of a comic from 2025, later rereleased on Facebook...

and in a cosplay, loosely based on the second comic I've shown here.

Ellen also describes her as a christian.
(archive)

In her post about her dad's death, she has also noted that she had a habit of getting "teen tantrums", screeching loudly at anyone and anything, to the point that her dad dying in front of her very eyes prompted the same reaction from her as any other of her tantrums.
Anne, besides having a massive family and having her own short-lived comic series on her Facebook, about a group of pets,

(hmmmmm...)

(some examples)

has had several appearances in Ellen's comics over the years as well, portrayed as a caring animal pet that's very protective of Ellen.

I'm not sure about this one, but I think that might be how she draws her now.

There are, however, two comics by her that Ellen has uploaded onto her Reddit.
This comic,

made as a response to this one

(man, it's kinda insane just how much funnier Ellen's comics remove when you trim down the fat)
as well as this comic.

More interestingly, however, Anne was a guest on an episode of Pen Pals, where she befriended Elk...but we'll get to that a bit later.

Ellen has noted that she's sweet, caring, but also has a lot of medical problems that caused her to be very small and skinny, as well as make her endure constant pain.

As you can see, she seems to have sorta drifted apart from them, making less and less posts about them. Very likely, it's the result of Pizzacake's rising popularity and her sisters wanting to distance herself from this flaming mess. They don't seem to outright hate each other though and they still seem to sorta care about each other.
The fact that Ellen is the only one without a proper job might have also fueled the fire between them...

...I think that's gonna be it for her family.
I could talk about her many pets, but I don't think she was actually all that bad for them. The only notable thing that was kinda iffy was her leaving her 9 month old kitten and a 4 times cancer surgery cat alone at Jeff's parents for a month.
Let's just move on.

Spoiler: The inability to comprehend consent

Ellen's traumatic experiences as a teenager, including losing her dad via cancer at a young age, losing her virginity via rape, her abusive relationships, her complicated relationships with drugs and Jeff's manipulation of her are a major cause of her CU traits. This is why she shows so little care for anyone, including her own family...but it's also why she has such a fundamental lack of understanding of what sexual intercourse is.

Because many of her early encounters were with older men, ones who only sought to exploit her naive and defenseless nature, she started treating sex not as something that two lovers do to show how much they care for each other, but a mechanical act that only serves to satisfy another person.
An act where one person is fully dominant, and the other fully submissive.
An act which is initiated not by asking another person for consent, but just going for it.
An act which starts by making out and backrubs and ends with a man cumming inside (for babies), or outside (for no babies).
An act for which consent is required by law, not out of common sense and understanding.

This is where the rape comics come from.
Her hater comic was this twisted way of revenge on her haters, by putting them in Ellen's literal worst nightmare, then claiming the act is consensual because it's roleplay...despite consent being, arguably, the most important part of BDSM.
Her gym GF comic stemmed from her wanting to be dominated by someone who didn't ask questions, but just went for it.
This was also the reason behind her zombie rape comic.
Her exhibitionism and cheating comics all stem from her past experiences of cheating on and being cheated on, then getting caught for it. The painter comic might have also, indirectly, been influenced by her conception of Liz.
And, most twisted of all...the age at which this all started at, 15, might be the reason why she puts out so many cosplays of underage characters...after all, everyone does it, right?

All of this is why untreated trauma is so dangerous.
But...at this point...I don't think Ellen can get any help.

...that sure was something.
You'll have plenty of time to recover after this, as I'm still yet to watch, like, ten episodes of Pen Pals for the next part...speaking of which...

That one's gonna almost exclusively focus on Hollering Elk, another relevant figure in the Pizzacake lore, and how Ellen has exploited her trust over several years of their friendship. Look out for that one.

 

[Baraka Obama]

I always found the east coast Canadians live in a bubble and what you said about people fleeing there makes so much sense.

The maritimes are both physically and culturally separated from the rest of Canada and have been left behind by economic development elsewhere in the country. Until a few years ago most young people just left, and most of what remained was a geriatric stubbornly rural population circling the drain. The ones who stuck around (like Ellen) took home half the pay of someone living in one of the better off parts of Canada for the same kind of job.

Things have changed a lot since 2020, though wages are still shit despite everything being insanely expensive all of a sudden.

 

[Jace on ice]

I like how one strip will be like "Blumpf is a misogynist who treats women like whores!"

Immediately followed by

"Lol look what a massive fucking whore I am, isn't that so whacky and zany?"

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Ellen has reposted the GOAT on both Threads
(archive)

and Instagram.
(archive)

Also Tumblr, but who cares, no comments there.

For this one, the ban hammer was replaced with, equally well used, block hammer.

She was so proud of it, she added the watermark onto block hammer panel, to be used as standalone.

Hey, I used Looney Tunes for the intro of part 12 too!


There's technically more to talk about, but it's all racism, and not something I wanna enable even more than what's already happening here.

Have this shitty (though still more creative than whatever Ellen has put out) drawing I made recently featuring One Winged Snarker and Snoo, End of Ellengellion.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

I like how one strip will be like "Blumpf is a misogynist who treats women like whores!"

Immediately followed by

"Lol look what a massive fucking whore I am, isn't that so whacky and zany?"

Remember, sex work is real work and should be respected, but paying for it is pathetic and means you aren't a real man.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Remember, sex work is real work and should be respected, but paying for it is pathetic and means you aren't a real man.

And LGBT rights, but rightwing men are all a bunch of dumb gay homos.

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

Ellen has reposted the GOAT on both Threads

For this one, the ban hammer was replaced with, equally well used, block hammer.

She was so proud of it, she added the watermark onto block hammer panel, to be used as standalone.

Thanks for confirming you read this thread, you pancake titted and assed sicko!

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

...but...wait...those are all replies...
What are these replies to?
(archive)

Oh hey, new political comic!
(archive)


Oh, and from other news, relagrding the GOAT Looney comic, she has reposted it on Bluesky yesterday, which is interesting.
(archive)

...why does it end at page 4.
Even the commenters noticed this.

But then...she reposted it today, on her Facebook.
(archive)


She reposted it to nearly every single platform she's on. Patreon, Tumblr, Facebook, Threads, Instagram, Bluesky...
The only platform she hadn't is Reddit, for she is too afraid of it.

BILLIONS MUST READ
TOTAL ZEUS VICTORY

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Why yes, Ellen, there *are* worse things than being a racist. Like serial killers or pedophiles.

 

[NorthernPickle53]

Ellen has reposted the GOAT on both Threads
(archive)
View attachment 8933577
and Instagram.
(archive)
View attachment 8933581
Also Tumblr, but who cares, no comments there.

For this one, the ban hammer was replaced with, equally well used, block hammer.
View attachment 8933588View attachment 8933589
She was so proud of it, she added the watermark onto block hammer panel, to be used as standalone.
View attachment 8933598View attachment 8933602
Hey, I used Looney Tunes for the intro of part 12 too!
View attachment 8933603

There's technically more to talk about, but it's all racism, and not something I wanna enable even more than what's already happening here.

Have this shitty (though still more creative than whatever Ellen has put out) drawing I made recently featuring One Winged Snarker and Snoo, End of Ellengellion.
View attachment 8933631

If she actually read through this thread and that was supposed to be you depicted in the comic then that would be fucking hilarious. Congrats man, you’ve made an accomplishment.

 

[I'll Call Now]

Yeah I'd say there's a good chance that shit is about ZBT.

Man between this and that subreddit I've been laughing big time. She's so mad.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

If she actually read through this thread and that was supposed to be you depicted in the comic then that would be fucking hilarious. Congrats man, you’ve made an accomplishment.

She had actually made this in early January, due to several factors, most likely the r/pizzacakesnark ban and my psycho analysis, though potentially something else? She has freshly returned from her hiatus around that time.

Anyway, since my previous post...she has reposted the comic on Reddit...
...and it's glorious.
(archive)

Ellen asserts Based if True doxxed her...despite the fact that SHE attempted to doxx him, and Sharty did so in response.

Ah, the ol' reliable.

Worked like a charm.

I don't even think she had her Facebook up by then. Even if, she privated her Facebook a year ago and the archives do not show any ultrasound pics.
For the actual way people can STILL find this pic to this day, here's the link to the relevant post.

Moving on,

Comedy.

I can only imagine the speed at which the comment would get deleted if it said "man" instead.

The origin of the name "Elmer Chudd", the new official name of the One-Winged Snarker.

Ellen assumes all of her "haters" live in the US (false)

Short interruption to tell a small artist they'll become an established artist (sure, Ellen, over 50% of top r/comics is you)
(archive)


Then back to the grind.

Let's explain this reply then, shall we?

Following the release of the Looney comic on Patreon, Cook wrote a polite email to Ellen on a burner email, showing her how easy it is to find her info online, so that she can take countermeasures against them.

It contained a following video...yup, it takes 20 seconds to find where she and her children live.

Ellen's response?

She then wrote a following reply, clarifying several points of confusion...left on read.

She won her bronze Girlcow of the Year 2025 trophy that day, and Ellen is salty about it to this very day, apparently.

Speaking of Cook, the extent of censorship of her posts is so big, she recently had several of her posts removed, after 9 months.

What's the "Borbs and their little beans", you may ask?

Yup, a video of cute birds.
Only removed because it was linked in one of her posts about Ellen (A.K.A. wrongthink)


From other, unrelated things, new Threads comic.
(archive)

Technically, there's also a few prior to this, but this one has the most edit potential and is the least bad. Remove the 4chan logo and go ham on it.
Just a single reply tho, plus something to an unrelated, now deleted post

Oh, and new cum pics are on Onlyfans.
(archive)

That'd be it for now.
Gonna have a bit of a break before part 13, doing some misc. research and touching grass. That one's gonna be long too.

 

[Vibralldo]

Ellen has reposted the GOAT on both Threads
(archive)
View attachment 8933577
and Instagram.
(archive)
View attachment 8933581
Also Tumblr, but who cares, no comments there.

For this one, the ban hammer was replaced with, equally well used, block hammer.
View attachment 8933588View attachment 8933589
She was so proud of it, she added the watermark onto block hammer panel, to be used as standalone.
View attachment 8933598View attachment 8933602
Hey, I used Looney Tunes for the intro of part 12 too!
View attachment 8933603

There's technically more to talk about, but it's all racism, and not something I wanna enable even more than what's already happening here.

Have this shitty (though still more creative than whatever Ellen has put out) drawing I made recently featuring One Winged Snarker and Snoo, End of Ellengellion.
View attachment 8933631

Based on her other profession I have a feeling that those white gloves are gonna turn brown real soon...

 

[Fucker Carlson]

It's fucking wild but also kind of fitting that she doesn't have a registered agent, which for context is around $100-$300 per year. That's not chump change but she could easily afford it (see the thing about her OF money). I guess bitching about it and doing nothing is free though. Crazy that she basically gets doxxed by her own government, doesn't say a word about it, blames le evil reddit trolls instead.

Email guy gave some solid advice, but of course:

 

[Lone Star]

I always appreciate whenever a cow has that one person here that's super obsessed more than anyone else and will post every little action the cow does. It's like having a little mini-cow to tell us about the bigger cow.