Ethan Ralph had a warrant for his arrest issued on 08-Nov-2021 for violating Faith's restraining order - Arraignment has been set for 24-Jan-2022. May have posted bail remotely?

[RodgerDodger]

I know Ralph at this point is far past fucked but I can't help but think it's not too late. If somehow by a stroke

The only way he's ever gonna change.

 

[The Big Dream]

The only way he's ever gonna change.

There's a infinitesimal chance he takes a hallucinogen one day and, in a moment of euphoric clarity, sees a world outside himself in which his beliefs don't matter. The horror of that realisation might stop his heart for good though. Imagine not only being Ethan Ralph, but coming to terms with that suddenly.

 

[Paddy O' Furniture]

Ralph is not going to change. He sees nothing wrong.

 

[MediocreMilt]

I know Ralph at this point is far past fucked but I can't help but think it's not too late. If somehow by a stroke of luck that the devil himself would envy, Ralph somehow manages to walk away with minimal assraping from the courts, the next step would be to reassess himself and change his approach to shit.

Instead of sperging every time someone says something he doesn't like he, idk, brushed it off as unimportant, Ralph would find himself in a lot less situations of arrests, court appearances, car accidents and other general nonsense. Step two of this autistically intricate plan is to get clean. Stop with the drugs, the drinking, the gambling, the cheating. Exercise, eat right, find something productive to reduce the stress and anxiety. Maybe actually act like the conservative he pretends to be.

Step 3 is to get away from all the tards that are just as grimy, grifty and retarded as he is. He already ran off Rand, that was a good start. Now he just needs to uncouple himself from Fuentes and the rest of the Scooby Doo gang.

Of course I know we have a better chance of seeing Ethan shit a live chicken then for him to ever follow this advice, but I figured I'd leave it here anyway, just incase the gunt decides to come scrawling through. It's not too late Ethan, you're close to the edge, not over it yet. There's still time.

Maybe what you need is a Christmas Carolesque adventure with Gator as Jacob Marley, Jim as Christmas Past, Fuentes as Christmas Present and Null as Christmas Yet to Come.

-Pantsu as Bob Cratchet and Gunt's pecker as Tiny Tim.....

Which way, (fat) huwite man?
Hope After Hate arc <----- -----> IP2 arc

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I know Ralph at this point is far past fucked but I can't help but think it's not too late. If somehow by a stroke of luck that the devil himself would envy, Ralph somehow manages to walk away with minimal assraping from the courts, the next step would be to reassess himself and change his approach to shit.

Instead of sperging every time someone says something he doesn't like he, idk, brushed it off as unimportant, Ralph would find himself in a lot less situations of arrests, court appearances, car accidents and other general nonsense. Step two of this autistically intricate plan is to get clean. Stop with the drugs, the drinking, the gambling, the cheating. Exercise, eat right, find something productive to reduce the stress and anxiety. Maybe actually act like the conservative he pretends to be.

Step 3 is to get away from all the tards that are just as grimy, grifty and retarded as he is. He already ran off Rand, that was a good start. Now he just needs to uncouple himself from Fuentes and the rest of the Scooby Doo gang.

Of course I know we have a better chance of seeing Ethan shit a live chicken then for him to ever follow this advice, but I figured I'd leave it here anyway, just incase the gunt decides to come scrawling through. It's not too late Ethan, you're close to the edge, not over it yet. There's still time.

Maybe what you need is a Christmas Carolesque adventure with Gator as Jacob Marley, Jim as Christmas Past, Fuentes as Christmas Present and Null as Christmas Yet to Come.

-Pantsu as Bob Cratchet and Gunt's pecker as Tiny Tim.....

I don't know, Ralph's approaching 40 and based on what I've seen I would say he is 50-60% bodyfat. He has abused substances for years, if he cuts down on alcohol he starts smoking weed. His liver will be pickled. His muscles, tendons and posture will all be fucked due to his poor diet and complete inactivity.

That's just his body, if we look at the stressers on his life he constantly makes awful decisions that backfire on him. He's got shed loads more responsibility around the corner with kids, that would suggest he's going to be increasingly erratic.

He needs his podcast to survive, without it he's financially fucked. He literally has no other options - he can't work a trade job due to his body, and the fact he's a worthless alcoholic idiot precludes him from having a professional career. Yet jail, constantly being deplatformed and his incessant bridge burning has put this under threat.

Point is, Ralph's position would be hard to turn around for anyone. Yet Ralph can't seem to improve himself in any particular aspect - he has no chance in addressing all of them.

 

[Zanmato]

reassess himself and change his approach to shit

Gunt is pathologically incapable of doing this in any capacity whatsoever

 

[NynchLiggers]

I don't know, Ralph's approaching 40 and based on what I've seen I would say he is 50-60% bodyfat. He has abused substances for years, if he cuts down on alcohol he starts smoking weed. His liver will be pickled. His muscles, tendons and posture will all be fucked due to his poor diet and complete inactivity.

That's just his body, if we look at the stressers on his life he constantly makes awful decisions that backfire on him. He's got shed loads more responsibility around the corner with kids, that would suggest he's going to be increasingly erratic.

He needs his podcast to survive, without it he's financially fucked. He literally has no other options - he can't work a trade job due to his body, and the fact he's a worthless alcoholic idiot precludes him from having a professional career. Yet jail, constantly being deplatformed and his incessant bridge burning has put this under threat.

Point is, Ralph's position would be hard to turn around for anyone. Yet Ralph can't seem to improve himself in any particular aspect - he has no chance in addressing all of them.

He did not even attempt to get a real job in his entire life after college, all he did was grow his gunt with Mama Ralph covering the costs.

Even before the his arrest and the gunt tape, there never was hope for him since he always rejected help in true lolcow fashion.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Ghost of Xmas past, present, and future.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

He did not even attempt to get a real job in his entire life after college, all he did was grow his gunt with Mama Ralph covering the costs.

Even before the his arrest and the gunt tape, there never was hope for him since he always rejected help in true lolcow fashion.

I have said before: what was Ralph doing between college and GamerRape?

He's 36, GG was in 2014. So he was 29. Presumably he (didn't) graduate from college around the age of 21 or 22?

That's a full 7 years where he has no presence. Was he really just in the Gunt Shack jerking it to cuckold porn, living off of Sandra?

 

[NynchLiggers]

I have said before: what was Ralph doing between college and GamerRape?

He's 36, GG was in 2014. So he was 29. Presumably he (didn't) graduate from college around the age of 21 or 22?

That's a full 7 years where he has no presence. Was he really just in the Gunt Shack jerking it to cuckold porn, living off of Sandra?

Given the fact that he voted for Obongo twice, it's possible that he could possibly be engaged in left-wing slacktivism under a nickname in some internet forum, his degree in journalism also implying that he was a SJW before Goygate

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I don't know, Ralph's approaching 40 and based on what I've seen I would say he is 50-60% bodyfat. He has abused substances for years, if he cuts down on alcohol he starts smoking weed. His liver will be pickled. His muscles, tendons and posture will all be fucked due to his poor diet and complete inactivity.

That's just his body, if we look at the stressers on his life he constantly makes awful decisions that backfire on him. He's got shed loads more responsibility around the corner with kids, that would suggest he's going to be increasingly erratic.

He needs his podcast to survive, without it he's financially fucked. He literally has no other options - he can't work a trade job due to his body, and the fact he's a worthless alcoholic idiot precludes him from having a professional career. Yet jail, constantly being deplatformed and his incessant bridge burning has put this under threat.

Point is, Ralph's position would be hard to turn around for anyone. Yet Ralph can't seem to improve himself in any particular aspect - he has no chance in addressing all of them.

This is why the incoming baby - who will supposedly be cared for in his home will be epic. Sad for the poor baby, but hilarious for these two mongoliods. Ralph is a giant baby, a grown man who required his mother’s care and support to survive until 35. He won’t make it to six months with a baby being cared for in the house - he’s the only fit throwing human allowed.

One can hope some evolutionary genetics will awaken in Pantsu and she will realize the need to gtfo of the home before harm comes to the baby or her. She will spend a lot of time locked up in that shitty attic room caring for a fussy infant alone until then,

 

[MadStan]

Some people will be excited for Dec 24, but for me it will be Jan 24th.

My Christmas is a LOLCOW one and Santa is bringing me prison time for me favorite LOLCOW.

Ho, fucking, ho!

 

[John Andrews Stan]

He needs his podcast to survive, without it he's financially fucked. He literally has no other options

Imagine being so fucked that getting hit by a car or otherwise wrongfully injured is your best hope of financial survival.

 

[NynchLiggers]

Imagine being so fucked that getting hit by a car or otherwise wrongfully injured is your best hope of financial survival.

In this case he would simply lose his legs due to the beetus.
And have four vegas trips in a single month on a wheelchair.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

lol fat

 

[Keranu]

Ghost of Xmas past, present, and future.

That young mugshot of Ralph is what he's supposed to look like today at age 36. Instead, he looks 60 years old because he ages one year every 3-4 months.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I know Ralph at this point is far past fucked but I can't help but think it's not too late. If somehow by a stroke of luck that the devil himself would envy, Ralph somehow manages to walk away with minimal assraping from the courts, the next step would be to reassess himself and change his approach to shit.

Instead of sperging every time someone says something he doesn't like he, idk, brushed it off as unimportant, Ralph would find himself in a lot less situations of arrests, court appearances, car accidents and other general nonsense. Step two of this autistically intricate plan is to get clean. Stop with the drugs, the drinking, the gambling, the cheating. Exercise, eat right, find something productive to reduce the stress and anxiety. Maybe actually act like the conservative he pretends to be.

Step 3 is to get away from all the tards that are just as grimy, grifty and retarded as he is. He already ran off Rand, that was a good start. Now he just needs to uncouple himself from Fuentes and the rest of the Scooby Doo gang.

Of course I know we have a better chance of seeing Ethan shit a live chicken then for him to ever follow this advice, but I figured I'd leave it here anyway, just incase the gunt decides to come scrawling through. It's not too late Ethan, you're close to the edge, not over it yet. There's still time.

Maybe what you need is a Christmas Carolesque adventure with Gator as Jacob Marley, Jim as Christmas Past, Fuentes as Christmas Present and Null as Christmas Yet to Come.

-Pantsu as Bob Cratchet and Gunt's pecker as Tiny Tim.....

Never say never, but I doubt it. Didn't he get a sober chip after the Pillstream(s) and his being so f'd up he was messing up the equipment while Flamenco was trying to talk sense into him?

This is why the incoming baby - who will supposedly be cared for in his home will be epic. Sad for the poor baby, but hilarious for these two mongoliods. Ralph is a giant baby, a grown man who required his mother’s care and support to survive until 35. He won’t make it to six months with a baby being cared for in the house - he’s the only fit throwing human allowed.

One can hope some evolutionary genetics will awaken in Pantsu and she will realize the need to gtfo of the home before harm comes to the baby or her. She will spend a lot of time locked up in that shitty attic room caring for a fussy infant alone until then,

Pantsu can breastfeed both at the same time on video for $.

Edit: You're very welcome for that mental picture.

 

[RedRocket69]

Just got done with the latest MATI and heard of Ralph's plan to stream from jail because "they give inmates iPads".
Here is what one of these epic devices looks like. No "big i" Internet, just an inhouse store for shitty games, movies, music, email and MAYBE heavily monitored voice/video calling for $2 a minute on both ends.

 

[Skein]

It is absolutely based on the federal poverty level and the limit is 20% above poverty level to get a free public defender. Poverty level for a single man is $12k a year. This is why I said Ralph would need to prove he makes less than $16k and we know Ralphamale claimed he makes $70k last time he had to file paperwork about hiring his own attorney.

The public defender’s office is insanely overburdened as it is already, they would have millions of more cases added if any asshole could demand a “free” lawyer any time they got arrested. You only get a free lawyer if you are provably too broke to afford one.

One obvious tell that someone qualifies for a public defender is that they sit in jail for a year because they can’t even come up with $200 for bail and end up serving more time waiting in jail for trial than they would have served for a guilty verdict on their charge.

Generally true, but it depends on the jurisdiction. There are some counties that will more rigorously perform financial assessments than others. Also it will sometimes depend on whoever is the public defender assigned to the arraignment court at which the individual is first arraigned on their charges.

I don't see him having any sort of consistency in private with respect to his assets/income, such that he would honestly report himself above the poverty line (assuming he is, though assets are usually included in the calculation irrespective of monthly income) and typically such things would be taken at face value unless there were circumstances in the charging documents that suggested a higher income, such as possession of property or certain employment.

Though given the circumstances of this case, that the TRO was violated in the course of him operating what I'm sure Vickers has described as a well-listened to internet podcast (for purposes of emphasizing the scale of the TRO violation), it's possible that a public defender will catch wind of his true financial situation and decline representation.

Public defenders can be an asset or a liability, depending on their clout with the court. TRO violations are a public defender's bread and butter.

It would also ultimately depend on whether he would try to plea out or take the case to trial, although to do the latter at this point would seem somewhat unwise given the circumstances.

As well as the attendant responsibilities of later physically being in Nevada County for what would be a multi-day trial, if both sides elected for jury trial.

 

[Zanmato]

Pantsu can breastfeed both at the same time on video for $.

Edit: You're very welcome for that mental picture.

one of our resident artfags nees to draw this