🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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Ralph is very "tired" again:
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PenguinSpy said:
As much as Ralph claims to love wrasslin' and all it's history he sure makes for the worst heel ever.

He's working for free and drawing not a single dime for his gimmick. Believe it or not when the camera is off and the show is over the heel goes back to their family or normal life. Ralph on the other hand lives the gimmick 24/7.

You're not even at outlaw mudshow level Ralph... you're a fuckin bum. Get back to your shack and take care of your cats before they turn into fossils.
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The heel also antagonises the crowd or makes them root for face when, you know, shit goes actually down. All his wrasslin lingo flies put of the Window when he no Shows. In the biz, we call these kind of people Dongas.
 
EyeGuy said:
Congratulations to Ralph on finally learning Spanish, because I don't understand a word of this:
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My favourite part of this tweet is that it becomes gradually less intelligible over time.

Strip clubs are a waste of time.
Good English, and entirely true.

Tbeye were working trying to swige through my unber window lmao
Cant make heads or tails of it.
 
I'll do what I can to translate this drivel:
Strip clubs are a waste of time.

See titties, pussy, and then go home. But the siren call hits me sometimes.

Had some time to kill. It was mostly good. But they're always ready to upsell you. I'm only getting upsold if it gets me what I want.

So, while we manage to have a conservation, it was asinine. Lots of trouble having a cigarette and everything else.

He grabs my cigarette and was trying to grab my bag (wouldn't have been possible but [INDISTINCT] life-ending).

Oh, and they were all aware of the supposed [INDISTINCT].

They were working, trying to swing through my uber window lmao
This is not flawless but it's the best I could do to fix his shoddy wordsmithing.

Basically, he went to a strip club because he was bereft after leaving the Qover and they tried to upsell him on more than just watching. He wanted to get even more than they were offering and likely became belligerent when they weren't going to descend to outright prostitution on the spot for him. The bouncer or some other male security staff member then grabbed at him and he fled, narrowly avoiding Tijuana I becoming Portugal I all over again.
 
Haru Okumura said:
I'll do what I can to translate this drivel:
Strip clubs are a waste of time.

See titties, pussy, and then go home. But the siren call hits me sometimes.

Had some time to kill. It was mostly good. But they're always ready to upsell you. I'm only getting upsold if it gets me what I want.

So, while we manage to have a conservation, it was asinine. Lots of trouble having a cigarette and everything else.

He grabs my cigarette and was trying to grab my bag (wouldn't have been possible but [INDISTINCT] life-ending).

Oh, and they were all aware of the supposed [INDISTINCT].

They were working, trying to swing through my uber window lmao
This is not flawless but it's the best I could do to fix his shoddy wordsmithing.

Basically, he went to a strip club because he was bereft after leaving the Qover and they tried to upsell him on more than just watching. He wanted to get even more than they were offering and likely became belligerent when they weren't going to descend to outright prostitution on the spot for him. The bouncer or some other male security staff member then grabbed at him and he fled, narrowly avoiding Tijuana I becoming Portugal I all over again.
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God bless you gentle soul. You were able to parse out far more than I ever could hope to.

I'm honestly impressed that Ralph could extract himself from this situation and not get his head caved in again, just going by how intoxicated he appears to be.
 
EyeGuy said:
Congratulations to Ralph on finally learning Spanish, because I don't understand a word of this:
View attachment 6345384
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And here is was trying to write a New fivestardays Script. This is poetry.

PS: Ralph burns his money to go a court hearing where nothing happens but him getting laughed at by kiwis, pulled a donga and absolutely emberassed himself, tried to damage control but emberassed himself even more, THEN possibly fucked over the only hospitable guy on his whole Trip, threatened a literally dieing cancerman (shamefull) but even wussed out of that because he fears his asian wife (shamefull) and possibly suffers complete ego death. THEN burns more money on the way back and even fails at recovering some machismo when he tries to solicit a prostitute (shamefull), gets into an argument with her pimp and almost get his man purse (shamefull) taken AGAIN (shamefull). He THEN pusses out of that confrontation again and practically jumps into a Taxi and tells the driver to get out of there. Did i forget something? My man... Sounds like money well spend to me!

My guess on the stripclub situation is that they offered a lapdance but Ralph became beligerent and DEMANDED to have sex with the girl. Poor thing, how much shittier can your life get? I mean the stripper, not Ralph.
 
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Rage Pig said:
The owner and editor in chief of TheRalphRetort.com, Ladies and Guntlemen:
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gunted.jpg
Rest in piss.
You will not be missed.

HackerX said:
Yes Ralph, if being served was the primary factor for refusing the name your daddy gave you, you wouldn't have broadcasted your location.
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>Oh you're Ralph
>Who? I'm not ETHAN Ralph sir
>I was watching STMS
>I don't know Aaron and I am not Ethan Ralph
199 IQ college-educated piggy, by the way.

Pitbull Victim said:
View attachment 6344310

Lmao at the sparkle smilie, Ralph truly types like a middle-aged woman.
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BlueArmedDevil said:
Hog be hollering
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9/10
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By the way, she's 29, not 45.
 
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You mean to tell me after all the humiliation he's already paid a significant amount of money to suffer, he got punished on the way out of the strip club too? :story:
 
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