🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[DickMain]

My favourite part of this tweet is that it becomes gradually less intelligible over time.

Strip clubs are a waste of time.
Good English, and entirely true.

Tbeye were working trying to swige through my unber window lmao
Cant make heads or tails of it.

Late, but, "they were {...} trying to swing through my uber window"? Sounds like staff were trying to drag his ass out of his uber if you ask me.

 

[DogZero]

no way he got an uber all the way from mexico city airport to merida. He must have been on a bus, probably cus its the cheapest option. Bus driver must have gotten into the crash and somehow it broke his phone?

 

[chromebookgamer]

I think we are all overlooking the simplest answer to his missing phone.
He obviously mistook it for a Xanax bar and swallowed it whole, poor thing never stood a chance

 

[Drunkensailor]

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Label me a retard because I do not know if he is in possession of the physical card or just the information.

If he still has his SIM card:
-his phone is not lost/stolen/forgotten in a spic uber
-Possibly broken due to being hit by a car or stepped on. However he would have taken pictures of the wreck even if his screen was cracked.

He still had his phone in the immediate aftermath of the donkey show. I surmise that he made it out of the club and into a cab with a few bumps and bruises and a busted screen.

This explains:
-the text about getting out of the club with the bouncers roughing him up, while still in possession of his phone.
-the Uber
- the bodily damage
-the gibberish he posted. Even while blacked out he is somewhat coherent. but with a busted screen, who knows
-Making it semi-safely to a resting place. ( There is two percent chance he could survive on the streets of TJ, being a fat drunk gringo)

But I am a tech nigger, so feel free to correct my blatant ignorance of phones.

 

[HackerX]

If he still has his SIM card:
-his phone is not lost/stolen/forgotten in a spic uber
-Possibly broken due to being hit by a car or stepped on. However he would have taken pictures of the wreck even if his screen was cracked.

He still had his phone in the immediate aftermath of the donkey show. I surmise that he made it out of the club and into a cab with a few bumps and bruises and a busted screen.

This explains:
-the text about getting out of the club with the bouncers roughing him up, while still in possession of his phone.
-the Uber
- the bodily damage
-the gibberish he posted. Even while blacked out he is somewhat coherent. but with a busted screen, who knows
-Making it semi-safely to a resting place. ( There is two percent chance he could survive on the streets of TJ, being a fat drunk gringo)

But I am a tech nigger, so feel free to correct my blatant ignorance of phones.

I'm reading it as he picked up a new SIM card, which is relatively easy around international airports. Getting beat up and phone stolen is still the most likely scenario. I wonder if the dude gave Ralph 3k for the privilege, or if Ralph let it happen free of charge.

 

[Some dude]

a street butchers salary is higher than any harvestable organ the ralphacorpus provides

Cutting him open would be like the early scene of Empire Strikes Back when Han cuts the tauntaun open.

"I thought they smelled bad...on the outside!"

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

Not that anyone should be surprised since we've watched him eat shit, but Ralph has admitted he also drinks period blood while hitting on Elaine. Null, you finna let Ralph steal your wumanz?

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[AltisticRight]

Not that anyone should be surprised since we've watched him eat shit, but Ralph has admitted he also drinks period blood while hitting on Elaine. Null, you finna let Ralph steal your wumanz?
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This is disgusting.

 

[Die For Me!]

Still no confirmation he's made it home yet, gamer gate anniversary stream on the chopping block... pack it up killstream bros, it's over

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Not that anyone should be surprised since we've watched him eat shit, but Ralph has admitted he also drinks period blood while hitting on Elaine. Null, you finna let Ralph steal your wumanz?
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You know how there's those people in that Pippa Pipkin's chat that say shit like, "I bet you smell really bad" and whatnot?

I don't think it's fetish shit, I think it's desperation. Some dude hoping that she's actually gross and stinky in real life so they have a chance. I get the same vibe with Ralph's current great insight.

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

This is disgusting.

The human garbage disposal is at it again!
Elaine: I'm in the hospital, I'm very sick with all sorts of STDs and on life support.
Ralph:

 

[Cyberpunk Meta]

Somehow piggertits out-pigs himself in his pig-like nature. First eating poo now drinking period blood? Piggy will eat and drink practically anything. What’s next, Ethan drinking ethanol?

 

[AltisticRight]

Somehow piggertits out-pigs himself in his pig-like nature. First eating poo now drinking period blood? Piggy will eat and drink practically anything. What’s next, Ethan drinking ethanol?

Didn't he talk about doing that when some Plate Gang members vandalised his car?

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

Not that anyone should be surprised since we've watched him eat shit, but Ralph has admitted he also drinks period blood while hitting on Elaine. Null, you finna let Ralph steal your wumanz?

a supreme gentleman

 

[sillybillyguy]

He's truly a disgusting pig

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Not that anyone should be surprised since we've watched him eat shit, but Ralph has admitted he also drinks period blood while hitting on Elaine. Null, you finna let Ralph steal your wumanz?
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What is he saying only stopped him once, a woman being on her period or banging someone in a hospital bed?

 

[Near]

Not that anyone should be surprised since we've watched him eat shit, but Ralph has admitted he also drinks period blood while hitting on Elaine. Null, you finna let Ralph steal your wumanz?
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POTENTIAL PISS BOTTLE CLEANER SPOTTED

INITIATE PIG CHARISMA

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Ethan brags about his sexual prowess as if we don’t know he has to pay for pussy. He’s such a fucking moron.

 

[Wash away the rain]

Ralph is truely the first man pig hybrid I’m convinced at this point that Ralph’s dad is a cia agent who knocked up his mom with genetically modified pig semen.

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

Is Ralph still hoping to get some from Elaine? I don't know if the UK allows pork imports.