Eulogize another forum member - Actually put in some effort you fucks

[Splendid]

@Gym Leader Elesa will be known for many things: being a pushover gym leader, her lifelong desire for a fascist neoconfederate monarchy, and possibly disappointing her parents by fucking a black dude, but what we will all remember the most about her is how little she contributes to these forums. May she rest in peace.

 

[Coldgrip]

@Splendid Meat Sticks was a man that, in an attempt to shitpost higher than anyone ever shitposted before flew to close to the sun. His mangled and waxen body was found at a McDonalds playground by some small children that did very bad things to it.

 

[More Spicey Than Coolwhip]

@Coldgrip A deranged but ultimately harmless paper doll enthusiast. Died at the age of 37 choking on a pen cap he had been chewing on. He will be remembered, but not really.

 

[Ntwadumela]

@More Spicey Than Coolwhip A woman with a strange obsession with being in a bath full of rubber ducks and filled to the brim with sriracha and coolwhip mix. She was found dead just last night, apparently having been suffocated accidentally by the surreal mix after falling asleep.

 

[Gym Leader Elesa]

@Ntwadumela, A man beholden to no one save Allah and his fourteen goats, he was found dead holding hands with his only human boyfriend, Abu Fatima al-Jaheishi, ISIS, in the western district of Mosul. A lover of cars and prolific collector of human hands, his wit, exotic accent, and insistence we obey Sharia Law will be missed by all on these hallowed boards. He has bequeathed his treasured Ferrari to his father's sister-wife, and his stuffed American Bald Eagle to @Lachlan Hunter McIntyre, who was known for his American patriotism. May Allah bless your house, God is Great, Death to America, Death to Israel, Curse on the Jews, Victory to Islam.

ما شاء الله

 

[sbm1990]

@Gym Leader Elesa A well known hitman who worked for such gangs as the Mafia and the Yakuza, she was hired by Wendy, herself, to take out Ronald McDonald and the Burger King as part of a brilliant plan to make Wendy's the #1 fast food chain.

She was successful in offing both targets, but was caught years later when new DNA evidence from the crimescene arrived. This evidence was a strand of hair who's DNA matched a hair sample from her Ninetails. Gym Leader Elesa was arrested and charged with two counts of first degree murder, and was sentenced to death via/the Pikachu powered electric chair. Wendy slutted herself to the police in exchange for her conspiracy to commit murder charges being dropped.

Sure proves that when you're a celebrity, you can get away with anything these days.

 

[Syaoran Li]

@CanofSoda was a feared commando of the Serbian army during the 1990's, along with his fellow Serb @Internet War Criminal and together they removed many kebabs. After the Yugoslav Wars, @CanofSoda fled Serbia, fearing he'd be captured by NATO forces and indicted for war crimes after the horrible Ouzo-Stolichnaya massacre in which forty-six Bosnian Muslim bronies were collectively subject to horrid tortures from the Serbian forces, including wedgies, wet willies, knuckle sandwiches, purple-nurples, Hertz Donuts, and the dreaded Rear Admiral. He relocated to somewhere in Wyoming, where he drank beer and grew turnips until he was found dead in his farmhouse, having died peacefully in his sleep cuddling an AK-47 assault rifle, his last words being "Remove Kebab! Serbia Strong!", unaware of how outdated that meme was.

Rest in Peace, @CanofSoda, who was a legendary Serb war criminal and connoisseur of Pepsi, as well as a damn good turnip farmer.

 

[Zarkov]

Who said we had to eulogize the kiwi above us ?

And so it is with deepest sadness and regret that we mourn the abrupt departure of our dear friend community manager moderator whatever s/he was @Alan Pardew, tragically torn from our loving embrace by a pack of hungry liberals while s/he was attempting to sweep the snow that had accumulated on his/her doorstep after God-Emperor Trump shot nukes in the sky to spite the ecologists.

@Alan Pardew wasn't only an abusive moderator with a degree in shitposting, s/he was the lifeblood of this forum. S/he pioneered never-seen before thread concepts, like the chess thread and the immortal desert bus thread, that will stand the test of time as an eternal monument to the vision of one truly retarded kiwi.

The Inner Circle board shall never be the same again. For years @Alan Pardew slaved to make it the pinnacle of post-modern shit-posting on the internet, gleefully abusing his mod privileges to troll the hordes of butthurt kiwis that would cry themselves to sleep because Father Null would not let them do the same. No one triggered the average sperg like s/he did, changing his/her avatar once a week just to give the aspies incapable of accepting any form of change that haunt this site epileptic seizures.

Never again shall the sound of his/her mighty banhammer echo through the threads, leaving a trail of terrified posters in its wake. It will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace, you mighty autist, and semper fi to you.

 

[HY 140]

@WhatNemesisMeans was a proud citizen of Kekistan, he was a hero there and the U.N. ambassador for his home land, he died at the ripe old of 69 after being mauled by a Kekistanian Tiger, he had no wife or kids and his parents said he would never amount to anything, but he proved his parents wrong.

Rest in Piece @WhatNemesisMeans

 

[Ntwadumela]

@Dicaprio Delorean What a party animal indeed! Unfortunately this was her final party.
She was last seen driving 500 km/h with her hot boyfriend and both being high as fuck, which resulted in them crashing into a gas station in Route 66 and exploding.
Rest In Peace

 

[Kari Kamiya]

@Ntwadumela was a free-spirited young man: swift as a cheetah, strong as an ox, had the memory of an elephant, the courage and gorgeous mane of a lion. He particularly loved lions, he took pride in the fact he idolized the lion, the king of beasts. He was quite the beast, too, all the ladies loved him. He was blessed by Allah with the heart of a lion, and he took upon the calling to do what was right.

And thus, the Circle of Life is complete. Now his spirit is free.

We will always remember who you are, @Ntwadumela.

@Ntwadumela
January 17, 1996 - May 4, 2017
Died as he lived: with pride.
A pride of lions.​

 

[Splendid]

Who said we had to eulogize the kiwi above us ?

Nobody.

@Ntwadumela died after trying way, way too hard to make a joke about a dude with literally 8 posts based on his avatar. His brain literally exploded as he racked it trying to think of ways to make fun of a picture of a rubber duck. His body will be wrapped in bacon and deported from the US.

 

[Pepito The Cat]

@Splendid Meat Sticks

 

[Gym Leader Elesa]

@Gym Leader Elesa will be known for many things: being a pushover gym leader, her lifelong desire for a fascist neoconfederate monarchy, and possibly disappointing her parents by fucking a black dude, but what we will all remember the most about her is how little she contributes to these forums. May she rest in peace.

Already post 1,157 and still not a single real contribution. Let's see any of you beat that record.

 

[Arse Biscuit]

An Ominous, known for beating the shit out of the neighbors, horse-laughing at all sides of the political aisle, and knocking up Null's auntie, died during one of those illegal, unlicensed bagpipe competitions when he mis-breathed and was sucked up the pipe. He is mourned by nobody in his town, and will have his remains tipped into a sanitary settling pond this Friday.

 

[Meat_Puppet]

@Autistic-No-Yari last days were spent at one of the most friggin epic Gorgoth shows to ever be performed. There this autistic bad mofo met up with other metalheads, scantily clad women and kegs that towered in the sky. Some might've mistaken this place for heaven, and some would assume it was hell. But none would argue as to the fate of this beloved autist.
During the last few hours of the show our friend had consumed a drink too many. Maybe over 30, does it really count of you're unable to count? And ended up tripping and falling upon a misplaced spike that stuck straight up out of the ground. The grisly scene was spotted from atop the stage and was cordially invited to join in the performance. Although the life had seemed to escape our departed friend that did not stop the crowd from dragging the body onto the stage and seating the corpse next to the speaker.
Life after death though was fair to @Autistic-No-Yari . They now travel from show to show as a decorative prop, after party sex toy.

 

[AnOminous]

@Splendid Meat Sticks

@Splendid Meat Sticks died with a QRcode for an avatar. What a fucking fag!

 

[Carlos Thin]

@AnOminous was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would AnOminous. AnOminous, who loved bowling. And so, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Kiwi Farms archives, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.

 

[HG 400]

"Good."

 

[Pina Colada]

@Bitch I Might Be: A friend, lover, Little Monster, shitposter, and fatty to all on the Farms. Her delightfully deviant antics in Chat and Inner Circle made her the bottom bunk bitch who make it to the top of the heap, crushing all the other Kiwis who dared to defy with her wit and all 5,000 pounds of her body weight. May she rest eternally with Saint Shamu.

The cremation service will be held at your local zoo.

@Dynastia- Who else but a dynamite shitposter? We all thought he'd never burn out of his own fuel, but alas, nobody lives to dox others forever. Well, unless they're in heaven or hell. Alas, he will be missed by Dear Leader, @CatParty, friends, enemies, and lolcows alike.

The funeral will be held at his actual home address:

666 Dragondicks Avenue
Poppycock, Melbourne, Auszealand 14880