We are here to honor
@Morose_Obesity. His death, while tragic, was somewhat expected. A lifetime of poor diet and sedentary behavior led to him getting struck by a train that was trapped in his immense gravity well. While he lived, he enjoyed devouring food supplies fit for countries, rolling down inclines and flattening all before him, and dressing as Santa Claus before consuming the flesh of children that were trapped in his massive flabby girth.
He will be missed, and per his wishes, he will be dropped out of a plane while set alight. Yield calculations reach fifty megatons. In lieu of flowers, please send pure lard. It is only fitting.
Rest in peace,
@Alpha Loves You. I didn't know him well, but Beta, Gamma, Epsilion, Tau, and all of the other letters of the Greek alphabet stabbed him to death for the love of Alpha. His death was tragic.
Here lies
@Cricket. He was fatally shot during gay sex with
@Reynard when the latter's gun misfired. And I am not making a euphemism for premature ejaculation. While he lived, he enjoyed furry orgies, executing small children with pistols, and molesting wildlife with his feet. In lieu of flowers, you may send pictures of either
@Reynard or
@Super Collie in a state of undress. It's what he would have wanted.
