Failed Lolcows - Cows you had high hopes for, but who failed to deliver

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
AnOminous said:
Strikerwolf is just too fucking retarded to do much of interest and so easily weened that most of the weens are just as retarded as he is, so can only get him to do shit about as dumb as what he'd do without prompting anyway.
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I still think Strikerwolf was the cow that could have been. When he was first discovered I honestly thought he could have been the next CWC or ADF. Definitely laughable in hindsight but he still does some funny stuff on his own and check his twitter from time to time. The main problem is that he was just too easy to troll that it was literally like using a puppet. It lacks the fun of seeing a cow with even a smidgen of autonomy and self-control get duped.
 
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I wish Jason Blaha had a lot more coverage on here. The issue is that he's mostly, well, milked dry by now after his stolen valor drama.

Hell, the concept of someone who's basically Jace, except grown up and apparently a bodybuilder is hilarious. The fact that he uses steroids and has poor maxes and definition is hilarious. The fact that he picked a fight with someone who had a PHD and got sued after he threatened to kill their family using his Navy SEALS connections is hilarious. The fact that he brags about dating what looks like a fatter Pixyteri while claiming she 'needs dick three times a day'...

God, Blaha is so good, but the only forum that was interested in tracking him was Fitmisc, who are basically productive loveshies.
 
Dontrel Murphy; three years after his discovery he's still producing terrible games based around his own little "Trelland" universe, but he never quite graduated to full-blown lolcow status. For whatever reason he never tried to engage with the people who were mocking his works, meaning that no lulz ever materialised beyond the general incompetence of what he produced.

If anything, he was probably one of the rare lolcows (or near-lolcows in this case) who ended up better off for the mockery, since he should have at least earned a few bucks from the people who purchased that insane storybook that he wrote, even if he never actually learned anything from the experience.
 
Sophie Labelle/Assigned Male. It's just page after page of her complaining about CIS or acting smug and page after page of whining about her complaining about her complaining or her smug attitude. There were some moments, like when her Facebook page was taken down or her crash against Fallacy Ref, but other than that, it's been a real boring thread.
 
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Rou said:
Sophie Labelle/Assigned Male. It's just page after page of her complaining about CIS or acting smug and page after page of whining about her complaining about her complaining or her smug attitude. There were some moments, like when her Facebook page was taken down or her crash against Fallacy Ref, but other than that, it's been a real boring thread.
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Not even a fan of the edits?
 
Rou said:
Sophie Labelle/Assigned Male. It's just page after page of her complaining about CIS or acting smug and page after page of whining about her complaining about her complaining or her smug attitude. There were some moments, like when her Facebook page was taken down or her crash against Fallacy Ref, but other than that, it's been a real boring thread.
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Boo. Philistine. Next you'll say Andrew Dobson isn't funny.
 
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Weeny Tran said:
I wasn't there for any of it. What was the story with Mrenter? Did a bunch of his 'fans' come in and secide to use this place to personal army while whining about how CARTOON REBOOT X makes them REALLY ANGRY GGRRHHH (even though they watched every episode of it?)
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Most of the lols for me came from his attempt to make his own cartoon. He couldn't write, the animator couldn't animate, and the voice actors couldn't act. He was convinced that it would become a huge hit, so long as the evil Nickelodeon (the children's network he had the biggest vendetta against) didn't get their paws on it. He was convinced Nick would be clamoring for it for some reason. It was his egotism that I found most interesting. The major issue with discussion on him was that a lot of under-18 people came in to sperg, everybody got side-tracked to talk about cartoons (same thing that happens with fandom threads pretty much), and couldn't refrain from feeding an obvious troll.

I don't know if there are any cows that I found very disappointing, but I do miss I-Dislike-Cis-People's chimp-outs now that she's decided to start laying low.
 
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That Jimminy Cricket girl. It started good, but then it kinda went into oblivion...I guess not all Disney husbando lolcows have the same will as DF01...:heart-full:
...Unless Cricket girl does like Disneyfan and releases a sex comic. that would boost her popularity in no time.
 
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TheGoldenKnight was good. The most interesting part is the fact he disappeared from the internet pretty abruptly. It was out of character for him which is why many people think he's either dead or his parents now limit his interactions online. I seriously thought he'd fuck up and reveal himself when Power Puff Girls came back but nah. Whatever happened wasn't his decision if he hasn't reappeared by now which is fine by me since he was pretty fucked up. The man had circus clown in his DNA or something. That fucking laugh.
 
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Batman VS Tony Danza said:
TheGoldenKnight was good. The most interesting part is the fact he disappeared from the internet pretty abruptly. It was out of character for him which is why many people think he's either dead or his parents now limit his interactions online. I seriously thought he'd fuck up and reveal himself when Power Puff Girls came back but nah. Whatever happened wasn't his decision if he hasn't reappeared by now which is fine by me since he was pretty fucked up. The man had circus clown in his DNA or something. That fucking laugh.
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Don't forget his Bobcat Goldthwaite voice, which he claimed was 'booming'
 
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Sammy classic sonic fan looked like he could be interesting, but he ended up maturing and stopped posting dumb shit.
 
Nostalgia Chick/Lindsay Ellis

Shes stupid, but not so stupid as to get caught out saying dumb stuff with any regularity.
Shes egotistical, but not so much that she is completely is unaware of self.
Shes lazy, which means the amount of content she has recently is low.
 
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I expected more out of Reuben. When I decided to update his thread, I was sure there would be juicy cocks after the Jace interview but nope, just more twitter/film school autism. He's spergy and easy to rustle, but not confrontational enough to be involved in any drama, so he's also pretty boring imo.
 
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