Failed Lolcows - Cows you had high hopes for, but who failed to deliver

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
Anyone remember Campbell Morton, the Autism King??

Campbell and Campbell.png

His wikis were a trip, but dammit all to hell, those fail trolls had to go and fuck things up and scare him off the internet, days after he was discovered.
 
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Jeff Holiday was a prime candidate for becoming a lolcow; he's hypocritical, pseudo-intellectual, a self-admitted bully, and a sexual deviant who takes butt plugs out in front of his kid. Sadly, IBS failed to take the opportunity to goad him into doing more lulzworthy behavior.
 
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I honestly hoped Alexander Gordon Jahans would take off here more than he has. /cow/ has multiple threads on him and he has (or at least used to have) the content to support a massive thread. It sort of reminds me how when they tried to run Seinfeld in syndication in the UK and it never caught on despite being a great show.
 
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Todd Daugherty looked like he'd be utterly hilarious as a lolcow when he first hit the scene and then it all turned out to be a whole lot of nothing in the end.
 
TheImportantFart said:
I honestly hoped Alexander Gordon Jahans would take off here more than he has. /cow/ has multiple threads on him and he has (or at least used to have) the content to support a massive thread. It sort of reminds me how when they tried to run Seinfeld in syndication in the UK and it never caught on despite being a great show.
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I always wondered why that was. He seemed to have everything that gets threads here. He is a horrorcow, like so many are lately, a phenomenal libtard, which is also popular, and autistic as fuck too.
 
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Ideal Patrol said:
I was expecting great things from Super Saiyan Crash, but his stuff is all the same shit over and over again, no improvement or decline, so there's little to talk about. I don't even think he knows or cares that there are anti-blogs, threads, and videos of him online.
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Ritchie is one of those rare cases where he honest to God could have become one of the heirs apparent to Chris-Chan's throne for a variety of reasons. However, he apparently has either just enough self-awareness to not feed the trolls, or he just flat out doesn't give a shit and just keeps on doing what he's doing. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not.
 
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Uncanny Valley said:
Humon.
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Krautchan's /int/ had a stage where they were obsessed about Humon and her cartoons, Finlandball was often drawn with the hat and knife as a nod to this. One of the Bernd's put up a fake account on DeviantArt with parodies of her comic strips and a self portrait that was a sketch of Jabba the Hut.

Jaimas said:
I've got one. Good god, I've got one. There's coming out strong, and then there's.... Well, this.
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Nemu. She's one of the most fascinating lolcows to me due to her psychology, cartoon incel waifus, and horrifying fetishes and how they intersect, but 99% of the m.ilk is lost forever from her DFEing and she's been MIA for weeks.
 
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sadstuck said:
Nemu. She's one of the most fascinating lolcows to me due to her psychology, cartoon incel waifus, and horrifying fetishes and how they intersect, but 99% of the m.ilk is lost forever from her DFEing and she's been MIA for weeks.
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She lives on in spirit in the thousands of depraved tumblrina fujoshits and other degenerate perverts of that hive of filth.
 
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Chrisology1337 said:
Anyone remember Campbell Morton, the Autism King??

View attachment 489803

His wikis were a trip, but dammit all to hell, those fail trolls had to go and fuck things up and scare him off the internet, days after he was discovered.
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Completely OT but how did he post this when he was banned in January?
 
Kind of similar...
It is unfortunate when you're in the research stage of documenting a possible cow but it just fizzles out.
The recent video of Count Dankula w/ Bolerhatman prompted me to do some digging on the guy, but he's just a stereotypical loser, embodying this :neckbeard:

Name: Oliver Hyde
Two images probably sum him up
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and
upload_2018-8-23_5-16-33.png
 
soy_king said:
Jeff Holiday was a prime candidate for becoming a lolcow; he's hypocritical, pseudo-intellectual, a self-admitted bully, and a sexual deviant who takes butt plugs out in front of his kid. Sadly, IBS failed to take the opportunity to goad him into doing more lulzworthy behavior.
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Piggybacking off this, I'd add Wizard of Cause. Between the delusions of grandeur as an actor and politician, perpetual victimhood regarding family court, refusing to label relationships and then moaning about the "breakups" on Twitter for months, and oh yeah, pulling his balls out on stream, I'm surprised he doesn't get more attention.
 
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Darkwing said:
Piggybacking off this, I'd add Wizard of Cause. Between the delusions of grandeur as an actor and politician, perpetual victimhood regarding family court, refusing to label relationships and then moaning about the "breakups" on Twitter for months, and oh yeah, pulling his balls out on stream, I'm surprised he doesn't get more attention.
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Yeah, I think it would be fair if a thread would be made on either one of them, it should include the other. Then again, I'm not even sure that The YouTube Saints are still even a thing.
 
kuri said:
Aye that's me, high on LSD

I've also got a newly discovered clown fetish.

cQxznUr.jpg


Yeah, I fap to that. So what?
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You are about to have an article written on you and ED will turn on you. You are welcome here though.
 
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