Fantasize: You're given powers of a demigod but with some limitations...

[skykiii]

More specifically: God has granted you all the power, but with the specific caveat that you're not allowed to kill anyone--so no nuking or Thanos-snapping, nor can you banish anyone to another dimension. In fact, anyone who is harmed--directly or indirectly--by your actions is now guaranteed to live precisely one hundred years.

Other than that though, you're literally free to rule Planet Earth in whatever way you see fit.

What would you do?

(Frankly I've already thought of some ways to game the rules and I want to see if anyone else thinks along the same lines or is even worse than me)

UPDOOT: For people who want clarifications on the rules, see this post.

 

[Esau]

I would kill myself because this is literally blasphemy

 

[Catler]

you're not allowed to kill anyone

There’s nothing you can do, even making it rain or snow could kill someone. The smallest, most mundane action could have disastrous consequences.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I would kill myself because this is literally blasphemy

God gave Samson powers, why not you?

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

I would choose to have Purple Man's powers.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_Man

The Purple Man's body produces chemical pheromones which, when inhaled or absorbed through the skin, allow Kilgrave to control others' actions as long as he is physically present.

 

[Lurking no more]

That caveat just makes it worse for people you target, you could torture them with no restraint and be guaranteed that they'd have to suffer for decades.

 

[Esau]

God gave Samson powers, why not you?

@skykiii stated that, in this scenario, I should be like as a god, which is horrible.

 

[RACISM]

I kill OP, for having such a shitty rule.

 

[CptnSnshn]

I would cure you of your autism because holy shit you might just be the worst poster on the site.

 

[Shidoen]

Probably control the right people who are evil retards to become useful for once and build starships and then add years to human life as I go into exile to not deal with the ensuring shitstorm that is intergalactic human colonization.

 

[WhiskeyJack]

Honestly, I’d spend all day trolling the Atheist+ community until they kill themselves, then heal their wounds so they can’t escape.

If that ever got boring, I’d track down post-op trannies and cure their mental illness.

 

[topsykrets]

fuck ruling the earth, I'm gonna go see what happens if I fly into a black hole.

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

Hook up a generator to a bike and use it to mine buttcoin. Beyond that just do pretty much what I normally do minus work. Maybe open up a shop of some kind and hire some friends to work but actually mostly just hang out. Not really interested in ruling a country or even state, city, anything, let alone the the world. Dating seems like it'd be a bummer as an immortal but I assume I'm the chadliest chad to ever chad in this scenario so I guess random hookups until I get burned out is on the menu

Throwing money at the farms would be amusing if the 'anyone directly or indirectly harmed by my actions' rule is public, any harm caused by the money would be a benefit to the alleged harmed, anyone who died before 100 objectively wasn't harmed. I'd prefer to keep a low profile so hopefully the rule wouldn't be public unless I could make it public while remaining anonymous. Definitely throwing a couple bucks at the farms regardless. Maybe I could even be Null's crackshack registered agent lol

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

If God gave them to me, reckon I'd have to go across the globe, to the farthest, shittiest (India) reaches of the world preaching the Gospel.
Maybe carve "Jesus Saves" on the surface of the Moon too.

 

[Bonesjones]

I don't do any actual ruling, I just go around ruining the philosophy department of every college and destroying the dogma of every religion in existence.

 

[The Fuck's Going On Here]

Honestly, I'd just go into the wilderness somewhere and chill. Come out and help people in literal situations where they can't save themselves; otherwise mostly stay outta their way. Maybe every now and then, teach people how to help themselves so they don't need to rely on Gods/Demigods and Kings for their shit.

 

[libRT]

Make a planet for my enemies to live on, with minimal usable materials so they can never really develop but still can grow enough food and water to survive. Shoot that planet to the other side of space, god can take care of sorting out which star it'll orbit.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I have a good one.

Regreen all the world's deserts.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

If anything that 100 year caveat is even better, you can make some trully horrific punishments for your enemies.

 

[Cringe newfag]

If that ever got boring, I’d track down post-op trannies and cure their mental illness.

That's so horrible. Perfect clarity but no physical changes.

You could do that to all lolcows, really. Like Chris.