Favorite Chris Moments

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Hogar Grupal said:
True, but it would have raised some ire in the public eye that a sped being hit is bad. During the Classic Chris era, even if Chris did get beat up, it would give Borb the opportunity to sue (legitimately) for crimes against special needs people.
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I had a guy with downs in my grade school class that knew people wouldn't do anything and would talk mad shit to people. Turns out he mouthed out to our class psycho and the guy shoved his retarded ass into the trashcan (those big blue fuckers that public schools have) head first. When the tard got out of it, there was a rematch between the nutjob and the window licker.

Crazy strength vs Tard Strength. Two titans of terrible genetics duking it out over who would be king of the special ed class. The problem was the tard's wrangler knew what was up and got between them after a few punches and got punched for all her trouble. I would have felt bad for her but she was a straight up cunt.
 
Maxliam said:
I had a guy with downs in my grade school class that knew people wouldn't do anything and would talk mad shit to people. Turns out he mouthed out to our class psycho and the guy shoved his exceptional ass into the trashcan (those big blue fuckers that public schools have) head first. When the tard got out of it, there was a rematch between the nutjob and the window licker.

Crazy strength vs Tard Strength. Two titans of terrible genetics duking it out over who would be king of the special ed class. The problem was the tard's wrangler knew what was up and got between them after a few punches and got punched for all her trouble. I would have felt bad for her but she was a straight up cunt.
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Between 2 mentally ill individuals is fine. I'm talking about a normal person (no normie would ever put their hands on a tard) who would beat on someone who's obnoxious, like Chris. The problem is, he (or Barbara) could use autism to their advantage (like their attorney Rob Bell who called Chris an "adult autistic child")
 
Inflatable Julay said:
Trying to explain to Kacie's dad how volunteering in a Pokemon card game was a form of babysitting
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And the irony being that he needed to be supervised as a grown ass man in his 20's. Chris needed to be watched like a child when kids who are in middle school get a part time job babysitting kids in most suburban neighborhoods.

I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact he needed to be watched like a child or his childlike blissful ignorance of the fact.

Hogar Grupal said:
Between 2 mentally ill individuals is fine. I'm talking about a normal person (no normie would ever put their hands on a tard) who would beat on someone who's obnoxious, like Chris. The problem is, he (or Barbara) could use autism to their advantage (like their attorney Rob Bell who called Chris an "adult autistic child")
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The only problem with that defense is it only works so many times before it gets worn out. There were other times people hit the tard kid in my grade, they just were smarter about it. Like shoving him hard into the bleachers after a pep rally when a sea of bodies covers up the dirty deed.

The little nutjob in my grade just wasn't very bright or subtle about his antics.
 
TrippinKahlua said:
I really love this exchange. Matthew says about how (Liquid) Chris is an “Upstanding” citizen, but Chris somehow translated that word to mean “Patriotism.”
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I have a feeling that that quote only came up because Matthew mentioned how Chris was "leeching off my government". But who knows, Chris still thought it'd be impressive to bring up, lol
 
1911JD said:
I have a feeling that that quote only came up because Matthew mentioned how Chris was "leeching off my government". But who knows, Chris still thought it'd be impressive to bring up, lol
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I think it was because it was mentioned how Matt was a Marine. Chris thinks that saying he was proud to be an American (despite making a video mocking the biggest terror attack in US history) that he would pull a fast one on Matt.
 
Maxliam said:
I think it was because it was mentioned how Matt was a Marine. Chris thinks that saying he was proud to be an American (despite making a video mocking the biggest terror attack in US history) that he would pull a fast one on Matt.
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Quite possibly. I believe what I said since the "leeching off my government" line was mere seconds before the "American" line.
 
1911JD said:
Quite possibly. I believe what I said since the "leeching off my government" line was mere seconds before the "American" line.
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Yeah, it's hard to do the mental calculus of a tard like Chris. He also thought it was appropriate to give a police officer a "boy scout salute" as a grown ass man. Chris is a tard mystery.
 
Maxliam said:
Yeah, it's hard to do the mental calculus of a tard like Chris. He also thought it was appropriate to give a police officer a "boy scout salute" as a grown ass man. Chris is a tard mystery.
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Analyzing the flow of conversations (for lack of a better way to phrase it) is something I really enjoy doing, which means I've listened to various conversations, debates, arguments, what have you (not limited to Chris), loads of times.

I don't think Chris's mind during a conversation (especially a long one) is that difficult to discern, because I'm sure you'd find that he just tries to find whatever the hell he can say to make himself look good or keep himself from getting "stressed out" (as he has done many, many times during the father call, the Leary calls, etc). Whatever cause you wanna assign to it, I don't think anyone would disagree that that was his intention.

Also Matthew was an ex-marine lol
 
1911JD said:
Analyzing the flow of conversations (for lack of a better way to phrase it) is something I really enjoy doing, which means I've listened to various conversations, debates, arguments, what have you (not limited to Chris), loads of times.

I don't think Chris's mind during a conversation (especially a long one) is that difficult to discern, because I'm sure you'd find that he just tries to find whatever the hell he can say to make himself look good or keep himself from getting "stressed out" (as he has done many, many times during the father call, the Leary calls, etc). Whatever cause you wanna assign to it, I don't think anyone would disagree that that was his intention.

Also Matthew was an ex-marine lol
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Oh indeed but Chris does some crazy shit. Like being told to get in touch with his feminine side turns him into a troon. What normal people would see as getting in touch mentally with what is thought to be female and not wanting to wear a skirt, Chris took as "Troon out!".

In this case, he wants to look good probably for every reason we've said here. Chris is an idiot is pretty much the simple answer.
 
His video to Miyamoto where he thought the most respectful way to address an elderly Asian businessman was to use a cartoon HERRO CHING CHONG voice and bow repeatedly, and in the same video proving his identity by showing his license and covering up all of his identifying information
 
Inflatable Julay said:
His video to Miyamoto where he thought the most respectful way to address an elderly Asian businessman was to use a cartoon HERRO CHING CHONG voice
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And by saying the man's name wrong. I can't believe I was surprised by that lol

Inflatable Julay said:
Trying to explain to Kacie's dad how volunteering in a Pokemon card game was a form of babysitting
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What I found interesting about this was how volunteering actually looks good on a resume. When I listed volunteering on my resume years ago (as I was taught to do in school) I was always asked about it and I was able to use that as one of my HS graduation requirements (community service) as well. I guess because he wasn't volunteering in an official capacity and Chris was just kind of 'there' that made it worthy of ridicule, and the fact that he was crappy at that, too
 
Hogar Grupal said:
Another time is when Chris is fapping it while on the computer in the kitchen and at the same time, Bob gets calls about Chris trying to kill himself on YouTube.

That's when Christory was made with the Internet Lumberjack.

To this day, I still don't know why the Chandler's insisted on keeping the internet in thier house knowing that's where the trolling came from and Chris's usage on in was the source of it.
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Bob and Barb were happy to park him in front of anything that would capture his attention all day leaving them to do whatever they wanted. I'm sure when Chris was young Bob definitely spent some time with Chris but I'm sure Chris seemed completely uninterested and whined until he was put back in front of the TV. Having a fishing trip with your dad? Um fuck that Muppet Babies is on at 2pm. He probably then immersed himself into vidya game worlds. Making videos with his Gameboy camera. Drawing. After that it was the internet. 24/7 internet. Internet and going outside with the only interests of pacing the mall and trying to find girls.
 
Maxliam said:
Chris thinks that saying he was proud to be an American (despite making a video mocking the biggest terror attack in US history) that he would pull a fast one on Matt
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Which may also explain Chris's out-of-nowhere chant of 'Warriors, Warriors' during the call, as well. Side note: I find Matthew Devoria by far the most entertaining character of the Liquid Saga. Moreso than Liquid, definitely moreso than Kacey. Would have loved to hear more from hin...
 
So there’s this one moment I really liked but could never find it again after all these years.

I cannot remember the subject but it’s one of his many videos in his room in 2009. He’s got on his glasses and has a smile on his face, but looses his train of thought and becomes more slack jaw.

Does anyone know what I am vaguely talking about?
 
TrippinKahlua said:
So there’s this one moment I really liked but could never find it again after all these years.

I cannot remember the subject but it’s one of his many videos in his room in 2009. He’s got on his glasses and has a smile on his face, but looses his train of thought and becomes more slack jaw.

Does anyone know what I am vaguely talking about?
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You mean every video of his?

BigTubboWithLittleChina said:
Which may also explain Chris's out-of-nowhere chant of 'Warriors, Warriors' during the call, as well. Side note: I find Matthew Devoria by far the most entertaining character of the Liquid Saga. Moreso than Liquid, definitely moreso than Kacey. Would have loved to hear more from hin...
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I think what makes Matt so hilarious is he reacts like a normal person would if Chris tried to date their daughter. He has no job in his late 20's, lives with his parents, doesn't even work out or read as someone who has nothing but time to do such. Chris literally shows why the YangGang Neetbucks won't work out the way people think. A lot of lazy ass people like Chris will just spend the money frivolously, get into credit card debt, and be worse off.
 
i don’t know why, but this one cracked me up when I first saw it. Chris walking straight through “hot set” for a local news piece while holding up his madalion. I’m sure a line producer asked people to clear the shot, but it showcases Chris ignoring authority and hijaking a cause for self promotion. But also fucking it up because he walks by too fast for anybody but a christorian to know what he’s doing.


Chrisquatch sighting at 1:05:

McIntire Park - CWCki

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