FB 5/28 CWC responds to a bully named Johan

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"I demonstrated my sexual prowess...they were especially enthralled with the part about giving a vagina electric shocks, losing my virginity to a prostitute, and automatically assuming I'd be the recipient during anal sex."
 
Chris tries to make a point and drowns himself in background noise.


"And as we can see from the first chamber, the first test subject seems to have no effect on the injection. He's gone back to playing with toys again"

"Wait; what is it with this strange music?"

"Oh that. He requested it to be played to drown out the voices in his head"

Speaking of which, I would suggest he buy a mic but I think he's spending that money on some LEGO if I know him
 
Chris tries to make a point and drowns himself in background noise.

  1. I didn't get anything of what he is saying, or rather, acting out with LEGO minifigs.
  2. His quarter-assed attempt to look like Hatsune Miku is depressing because Miku is sweet, charming, even-tempered, has an amazing voice and smells like a beautiful meadow flower on an April morning -- while CWC is gross, bloated, creepy and has started to resemble one of the more grotesque creatures from the John Difool comic books.
  3. That EDM in the background isn't good EDM, it sounds like a simplified saccharine mall-music type of EDM.
 
  1. I didn't get anything of what he is saying, or rather, acting out with LEGO minifigs.
  2. His quarter-assed attempt to look like Hatsune Miku is depressing because Miku is sweet, charming, even-tempered, has an amazing voice and smells like a beautiful meadow flower on an April morning -- while CWC is gross, bloated, creepy and has started to resemble one of the more grotesque creatures from the John Difool comic books.
  3. That EDM in the background isn't good EDM, it sounds like a simplified saccharine mall-music type of EDM.

She also eats vegetables, which Chris clearly hasn't touched, unless you consider the soggy lettuce on a Big Mac a vegetable.

I haven't played with the PS4's Playroom stuff, but I'm willing to bet the music is a canned demo track that's part of the software.
 
Yeah an I can tell from my way aside from... the obvious that what he's said among which, yeah...
Chris, Insightful as ever.

Actually this serves as a good summary of his diction as of late; vaguely self-aggrandizing gibberish, interspersed with the occasional 'among which'.
 
For those who couldn't hear over the sick beats, here's the FULL transcript:

Some real quality Chris content in here, especially as it relates to sex with smurfs and transmitting AIDS.

My fucking head...

"Hello ladies and gentlemen on the internet and my Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase, this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from the room once again, and I'm about to tell ya a story that is direct and true... 'bout what happened recently. And it'll be demonstrated through... the minifigures.

So, that's to tell you the truth. So, my associate has introduced me to a lesbian couple whose looking to have their own little daughters... their little daughters, mkay? And they... mnam(?) was delighted to be made to be designated as a parent. But unfortunatly throughout the few weeks, the initial few weeks there were miscommunications and we ca- an- and it was kinda spotty catchin' up with one another and one of them wanted to be artificially but the other one wanted natural. But, tonight, uh, earlier tonight, they mutually settled on both being natural, so we were plannin' on settin' up... because, uh, earlier in that day, was there- I think mighta second candidate though, so that left me feeling sad. But he didn't show up, and they liked the video that I sent them demonstrating my sexual prowess. I be(?) quite... the acrobat.

But she- that made me feel delighted.

So yeah, we were on the online chatroom, we were settin' up. We were talkin' about our meetin', and then comes along, dur- bit- dur- new guy(?). He were be- were quite intrusive it was very rude.

*Gorilla having a stroke*

Yeah I'm Christine Chandler... Charmed I'm sure... charmed.

*More gorilla noises* yer tha big gu- yer da bee guy, er da tryna ee *gorilla noises* it sallts blah blah blah blah blah blah bla bla bluh *ape audio*

Yeah an I can tell from my way aside from... the obvious that what he's said among which, yeah... you're a bad guy, you bullied me.

Anyway so anyway we were... so he was attacking me and trying to prove himself mighty and courageous like Captain Copernicus Quark (a Ratchet and Clank character) or somebody dumb like that. huurhrh herr lookat me I'm too bury- *insane sounds*

Aaanyway it was just a whole bunch like that but, they were gettin' tired of it and I was gettin tired a hearin' abou- hearin' it. and then he realized, oh wait, you're... da Christian Chandler?

The original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, that's me.

Er, well I got dirt on you *a bunch of stuttering* you haven't leaned about this bad thing ya did.

Oh, what? *pauses to pose minifig* you mean that time I sat bare-ass on a cake?... sat bare ass on a cake? What do ya think about that?

err? That threw me off I was not expecting that *masculine mumbling*

Oh, and how about the time I... took pieces of my- pieces of my medallion and shoved up my behind. I am human enough to admit and take the blame for the mistakes I made.

*Filthy male muttering*

and he was bringing up the image, the picture... of the n- notorious M.E.G. and me and my (finger ends?) up there... and I was like oh yeah that vi- that vintage old thing. Vintage, so old. I've drawn more since then. And my e- other exes, I mentioned two of them by name. And he was like:

What? *inane sounds*

And on just a note, we are talking jibberish with this guy 'cause we don't remember exactly everything that was said... but anyway, aside from that to try to prove himself to be the... more better male he attacked me verbally, with an onslaughts of insults and whatnot, like fireballs. And I defended my- and... I held my ground. *pauses to fiddle with his fucking toys* I hold my ground, I, took two(?) attacks. *pew pew* one attack at a time. *pew pew* I defended myself with the shield. *pew pew pew... pew... pew pew* And not stooping down to his level how he was phrasing his attacks... I offered my own, style and elegant... repertoire of, offence. *pew pew pew* Hit him a bit hard too. Agai- some of them did not hit as hard. What? not every attack is perfect. so, anyway then he was like

Well then I issue a challenge... you say yo- you say, from your video, you're like an acrobat, but I can do so much better sexually so, we each upload a video... And the person- and, the person that gets more votes from the community on the internet wins

And I was like, what? you're not gonna let the girl- you're not gonna... let our ladyfriends have the say in the matter

Yeah, well, you know what? *complete vocal diarrhea*

*sigh* nd a- anyway in the meanwhile they were tired of listening to all this and I was tired of listening to all this

*sounds of what we can only assume is Chris's inner monologue*

*coughs and clears his throat* So anyway, point is, uhmm *sigh* even though tis challenge seemed quite pointless and unnecessary and time consuming I... teh... I, well let's do it, I accept your challenge.

Finally, I'm gonna upload my video and I'm gonna (something) you. *language of a subhuman male*

And fortunately I had already do- uh- made a video for la- for the lesbian couple, which pr- which demonstrated quite well my, acrobatic, sexual prowess, thats goes yet to be unappreciated especially since I was self-taught.... but anyway then so... tokamai(?), so anyway, so we all left the chatroom and, yadda yadda yadda. I talked to my associate and a little birdie told em, a little birdie came in and, told me about ooohO dark past about Mr. Johan. That's his name, Johanson, but as like to call 'em Johan. Hey everybody! look. it's Johan from the Smurfs. Hey! where's Peewee Johan? Go ahead and make all the Smurf jokes you want! He laid so many s- he said he was a Smurftastic lay, or, satisfy Thirty Women! He laid so many Smurfs, I wonder how many of them little smurfs he laid actually like this guy... and now everybody else! along with me or in your own words! make up your own Smurftastic jokes about Johan! Even the more obvious one that ya'll be making up in a moment when I tell you when ya hear that this little birdie told me *cheep cheep cheep* little birdie tell me the dirt! okay, Here's the dirt.

This guy, was, an ex, GAY PORNSTAR! Yep! laid with another male *blubbery sex noises* (some stupid line I can't understand)

And, guess what? *confused ogre noise* aaanother big thing that's gonna take this g- is gonna take this... big- is gonna take this guy down a notch, guess what? he got FIRED from one of his... things. he got fired from one of his movies and you know why he got fired? Why? He failed the STD test!... and apparently n order to be fired from any porn act that STD had to be something lethal.

Possibly leathal as say something like AAAAIIIIDDDSSS!?!

And yet, among the disquestion(?) that was talked about earlier. He said that he had no STDs, but the way he acted and behaved and all that... apparently he told fifey lies! filthy lies! he lied!

So, with that, we'll leave it at that. Everybody in the audience, yes, high functioning autistic. But you know what? Even a normal person, normal father, normal mother, whichever, can give birth to an autisti- an autistic child. And it's just about as much risk as me because I'm high functioning autistic, high functioning. so therefore, hi- there's a higher- probability of a child being normal, so there.

So if your votes on... rather or not who has the better sexual style and activity, ability. Johan, by the way, did you do one of my- PEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... heh, merptiow(?), merptiowek(?), mh, anyway, this guy, or, me! And they have praised me as acrobatic! Truthfully so, thank you very much it was the ho- it made my night. Hear that. There will be a voting page coming up soon! And my video on this channel and his video on his channel. There will be links in the voting page.

So, that'll pretty much do it for now. Details coming soon. Thank you. Goodnight. *bullshit cartoon noises*

I cannot believe I just powered through all this horseshit. I'm gonna go finish my whiskey.

This is all vintage Chris right here. I honestly thought he was past falling for this shit. It's obvious this "lesbian couple" doesn't exist and that the..uhh, "gay pornstar" is obviously just trying to coax him into releasing some humiliating video of him fucking his body pillow or something. Ya know, to prove he's "acrobatic".

Also good to know his homophobia is as alive and well as ever. You'd think hanging out at a gay bar, cross dressing, and living his life as a woman would have taught him a thing or two about accepting other people for who they are and judging a person by their character and not sexual orientation, but clearly I was expecting too much from good ol' Chris.

It is also rather unsettling that Chris still refers to Megan as his "ex" and that he's apparently still drawing pictures of him fucking her (and others, existent and non-existent).
 
Chris mentioned that he has been trolled to sit on a cake and shove a medallion up his ass. And he has learned from his mistakes.

Strangely, he didn't discuss being trolled to participate in a bizarre video/voting contest with potential china as a prize, or any lessons he might have learned from that.
 
  1. I didn't get anything of what he is saying, or rather, acting out with LEGO minifigs.
  2. His quarter-assed attempt to look like Hatsune Miku is depressing because Miku is sweet, charming, even-tempered, has an amazing voice and smells like a beautiful meadow flower on an April morning -- while CWC is gross, bloated, creepy and has started to resemble one of the more grotesque creatures from the John Difool comic books.
  3. That EDM in the background isn't good EDM, it sounds like a simplified saccharine mall-music type of EDM.

He wanted to donate some frozen jizz to a lesbian couple and some jerk got him talking about his past failings instead.

Also there's no such thing as "good EDM" you dweeb. :roll:

Chris mentioned that he has been trolled to sit on a cake and shove a medallion up his ass. And he has learned from his mistakes.

Strangely, he didn't discuss being trolled to participate in a bizarre video/voting contest with potential china as a prize, or any lessons he might have learned from that.

That's the part that really stuck out to me. Chris is actually taking some sort of responsibility for the self destructive shit he's done in the past. Of course, he then immediately goes back to making those same mistakes all over again. But that's...progress, I guess.
 
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