FB 9/23 - Ideas for an updated documentary

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A Discovery Channel-style nature documentary with a British dude narrating the incestuous spooning habits of the rural Virginia redneck.
 
Keine said:
Is BronyCon going to be the new high school for Chris, that it's the memory he clings to for the next decade plus?
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Pretty much.

Which is kind of sad in a way because the only things that MHS and Bronycon have in common are that both are points of his life that he's felt like he actually belonged somewhere. That's why he holds onto those memories with a death grip, arguably they're his Rosebud moments.
 
Triumph of the Will was pure propaganda, but is still fascinating to watch. If Chris actually did the documentary himself, it might actually be awesome just the the lulz. But no, Chris wants someone else to do it, who won't do it his way, and even if they did Chris would most likely still bitch because there's just no way it can match what he's seeing in his pill popped mind.
 
chris, the people at the con were just happy to be there. and the actresses were being nice so they didn't get in trouble. they aren't your friends.

also yes chris, i would love a documentary of life after the past sagas, i wanna see about the macing, i wanna hear doopie talk about you stalking her.. etc.

also wow, the high he got from having a TRUE and HONEST girlfriend has died real quick.
 
So Chris wants a movie about his life with only great things in it. Like how he helps people and makes people's lives better by going to bronycons.

Yeah that's not a documentary, that's a work of fiction.
 
The thing I always find fascinating about Chris is how he can be both dull as dirt and interesting at the exact same time. When the narrative is in his hands, things slow down to a crawl because his world is so small that he only cares to talk about his hobbies, because that's all his life revolves around. And yet, when you let him out into the world and make him interact with others, it becomes a show in and of itself.

That's the primary reason why no one wants Chris Chan to have anything to do with his own documentary. If he had it his way, it'd be an hour of him rattling off nonsense about MLP or TeH TroLls. Really, if you want to have him involved with a documentary, you need to keep him in the dark to the fact that you're making one. Talk to him about different subjects and simply listen to the verbal effluvia that comes out of his mouth.
 
So what Chris wants is a documentary about how he's great and people like him. In other words, he wants a documentary that does not portray him as interesting in any way.
flossman said:
Are we just going to put actors in their place and rely on photographs? The fuck, Chris, what do you want and how do you want it?!
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That's what Louis Theroux did in his Scientology documentary. I'm envisioning Kathy Bates as Barb. Sadly Philip Seymour Hoffman is no longer with us to play Chris.

CoolGuyHitler said:
tl;dr - Chris wants his ass kissed

Sach should make a parody documentary sarcastically praising Chris.
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Chris wouldn't get it. Like, "I Did Like the way I was said to be Charming and Gallant, but then you Dang Dodo-Brains put My Emails to Doopie on screen; even though At That Time she was trollfully mistaken as to My Honest Intentions. Fix it NOW NOW NOW!"
 
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"I am with Sweetheart."

I still wonder how someone who has been speaking English for about 30 years is less fluent than non-native speakers learning it.
 
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I want a cwc documentary, where, during it, two people go to Chris chan house and one person is filming it while the other person starts knocking on the front door and screaming, "COME OUT HERE AND SHOW ME SOME OF THAT TRANSEXUAL ASS!" Would be rather humorous.
 
I really do wonder if it was Jessica's idea to watch the documentary in the first place. What would be the aim of that, anyway? A reality check, or to get off on causing him turmoil? Gotta love how Chris' method of dealing with the raw truth of who he used to be is by immediately trying to cover it up with a "nice" documentary.
 
Shiversblood said:
I want a cwc documentary, where, during it, two people go to Chris chan house and one person is filming it while the other person starts knocking on the front door and screaming, "COME OUT HERE AND SHOW ME SOME OF THAT TRANSEXUAL ASS!" Would be rather humorous.
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Tall, burly, and handsome men. One Black and one white.
Or, Chris could just go on a gender reveal talk shows entitled "Man or a Woman", where it's revealed at the end that everyone knows he's man, but the title was just bait. Then, a van pulls around on set and takes Chris to a maximum security mental institution.
 
As usual Chris fails to learn anything.

This is almost the exact same situation that led to him being discovered by ED in the first place. Someone makes some media mocking him and rather than just ignore it and moving on, Chris wants to tell his side of the story believing that everyone is just misunderstanding him/he's a good person.

While doing this he reveals more info about himself that ultimately, draws more people to mock him and slowly ruin his life.
 
"[Being depicted in homosexual acts] badly triggered me"
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Well he's using "trigger" as accurately as 99% of the people who use it. How inclusive someone with a 70 IQ can pick up SJW terms and use them "correctly".
 
No worries Chris, we'll interview everyone you sent letters to begging to be unbanned so you could take Catherine to the Mall. The guy who pierced your taint. The guy you maced at GameStop. Your public defender. Your intake counselor and your probation officer ... that's all from '14-'17, right?

... anybody want a job as a Production Assistant?
 
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