[February 2021 - ????] DSP Tries It: Divinity: Original Sin II

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Fort JOI is what @tripmix calls the Reehouse. I don't know why.

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

I was planning on playing along slightly ahead of Phil but at the pace he's going it'll be a month before he catches up, and I've played it for two sessions both of which contained fucking around, piss breaks, reloads, and half-watching youtube videos.

 

[DiabeticSP]

Is this gonna be one of those games where he plays it twice a month and hopes everyone forgets about it?

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

I want to know when this fat bitch has to fight Alexander.

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

I love the playthrough so far.
Games like Divinity really show how completely inept Phil is at grasping the most simple game mechanics.

 

[Jasper2K]

Hopefully the pay pigs can keep up the positvity or this will be one miserable playthrough for Phil.

 

[Iron Father]

I love the playthrough so far.
Games like Divinity really show how completely inept Phil is at grasping the most simple game mechanics.

And how much of a poser he is. King of Retro? Played strategy games back in the day? Played D&D back in the day? Was good at chess back in the day?

Yeah it really shows with your complete lack of any strategic ability or understanding of basic mechanics.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I love the playthrough so far.
Games like Divinity really show how completely inept Phil is at grasping the most simple game mechanics.

The difference in his mood when he played Yakuza 7 and DOS2 is staggering, and I don't mean now that he's just mindlessly grinding in Yak7, I meant his playthrough as a whole. During his Yakuza 7 playthrough he lost what? Only half a dozen times? And each time, except for one where he died while grinding like a fucking idiot, he lost to high level enemies, I remember him dying twice to the random encounter enemies in Chinatown, an area he was way too underleveled for at that point, and dying in the first post-game challenge dungeon once. And I remember when he died during grinding and his first challenge dungeon attempt he lost his shit, complained about how unfair the game is and how he wasted half an hour of his time and let out a celebratory "fuck this".

During the entire course of the game he played terribly, he used skills inefficiently, rarely had a healer in his party and instead relied on items, rarely upgraded his gear, chose targets poorly and had this autistic insistence on only using the default 3 companions in his active party (Adachi, Saeko, Nanba) and rarely switched them out for the new ones despite the fact that all 3 are miles better than both Adachi and Nanba, especially Joon-gi who has insane damage output and speed, letting him often have 2 turns in just one round. The game is just that easy and forgiving, when someone asked him if he should buy Yakuza 7 since it'd be his first JRPG, Phil said that he may find it quite hard since he doesn't have experience and then claimed that through experience he himself became good at JRPG-style games. This was just hilarious to me since Phil played it worse than I did, someone whose last JRPG that I played was Suikoden II on the goddamn PS1 and I'm not exactly some high-level god gamer who just excels at any game I play, I just pay attention when playing games.

In DOS2 it's the complete opposite, he's getting his ass pounded and almost loses fights in Fort Joy, the tutorial area of the game, most of which are designed to be stacked in favor of the player to get them acclimated to how the game works. During the first fight of the game where he fought against one single hobo with 4 of his party members, he kept poisoning and stunning himself and got 3 of his characters to death's door. Then there's the classic crybaby moment where he cast invisibility, walked through fire, then complained about not being invisible anymore, even though the description of the skill says that you lose invisibility prematurely if you take damage and catching on fire counts as taking damage. After that he went on a supertoxic rant about how stupid the game is and how it's not challenging, it feels like work. I guess to Dave "challenge" is like in Yakuza 7 where if an enemy hits your dude for half health and you have the minimum of 70 IQ required to know to heal your injured dude right away. Then he of course brought up his experience in Dark Souls games to show that he's a God Gamer who can beat challenging games, despite the fact that in every playthrough he was either completely handheld or just grinded until he could facetank everything. And the handholding in DOS2 is insane, every single move he first has to run through the Committee of Retards that is his stream chat and every single fight, level up and inventory management take at least 15 minutes. I died laughing when AN1337 had to leave for a bit to attend a meeting and when he returned Phil was still doing the fight that he was fighting when AN1337 stepped away.

TL;DR
But, to conclude my autismpost, just look how miserable he is during DOS2 even when he's being showered with way more money than what any Yakuza 7 stream ever made. Especially now where he's just doing mindless grinding in Yakuza 7 he's going full clownmode and singing during the streams even when the stream is "slow", while with Divinity he's sitting there in his stupid double vests, 200 dollars for gacha secured and still looking as miserable as he would be if the tips total was at 0 at that point.

 

[Swallow Moon]

Watched some of the restream that I missed. Someone tips Phil and tells him this, Phil says:

Poison and fire explodes? I didn't know that.

This is one of the very first things you do in the tutorial. The tooltips explain these effects too.

He ignores most of them, but even when he reads one, he memory-holes all but the most basic mechanics faster than he memory-holes the $300 in tips he got before his late stream. At least the money is from him being a grifter instead of completely incompetent.

Edit: He forgot and had to be told again in the same session.

 

[Jasper2K]

So waht do you guys think? Should I do *insert option here* or *insert option here*? I dunno guys what do you guys think? I don't know *sasuage mode for a minute, reads chat* yeah I don't about that but what do you guys think? *stares at menus for an hour*. This is rough. What do you guys think?

 

[JimiHendrix]

phil is fighting the Houndmaster again. I'm willing to bet this will go swimmingly. I'll edit this post to update if no one else posts after this'n. First thing though is Phil is trying to kill the Hound, despite the fact it's Soulbound, now I'm not a learned man, but I'd think it's best to kill the summoner instead of the summoned.

edit: nice, fat boy phil just fat fingered the controller and slapped the ever loving FUCK out of his mage and rage reloaded.

edit 2: by the way, the entire REASON this fight broke out, is because Phil walked in on the Magister's interrogating and beating the shit out of someone. Someone you could save, Phil didn't notice this and set off a massive explosion, so the victim is now a smoldering pile of ash in the center of the room. Saving this person is one of the many many ways out of Fort Joy.

edit3: after forty minutes phil beat the Houndmaster, he only lost 2 party members in the process.

someone cheered and said "I wish there was a button you can press that just highlights everything around you" Phil agreed with this.

There is a button that does this, R3 on controller, Alt on keyboard.

 

[Iron Hamster]

someone cheered and said "I wish there was a button you can press that just highlights everything around you" Phil agreed with this.

There is a button that does this, R3 on controller, Alt on keyboard.

Luckily there's no money attached to this post so he's stuck trying to figure it out on his own.

 

[JimiHendrix]

now he's just aimlessly wandering around asking what to do and where to go next. i'm falling asleep here

it's a double post but i don't give a shit. ain't no one else postin' in this thread. Phil is mad you can't undo a turn and redo if it he isn't happy with the results.

he's also currently fighting Niles, who is one of the "final" bosses of the tutorial. Phil just realized he got into a boss fight and has reloaded and said he will not do it because he has to end the stream. He's got to get the fuck out of here and play a real game. like a wrestlin' game...or somethin'.....

Phil, with 10 minutes left, has reached the 100$ tip goal, but unfortunately due to paypal fees and the fact people gave him too many small donations, he actually only made 90$, which of course sucks but it is what it is...at least accordin' to him.

Phil comes across two magister's threatening a child, this could've been resolved peacefully if he saved the man I mentioned earlier, but alas. I really liked the fact the Child was running away to hide and Phil said "okay....I guess I'm protecting the child?" man said this as if the fucking notion of "I must kill the child" actually crossed his mind.

game just gave phil the tip that he seems to be playing like shit and might want to run away from this fight. phil took offense.

Phil got hit by Decay, which makes healing do 100% damage, proceeded to heal himself and was greatly confused over this turn of events. He never saw it coming.

oh my god, phil then doubled down and healed his Decayed character AGAIN, the character lets out a loud scream, falls to the ground dead, and phil just "nice. he got all his health back.....................NO HE DIED? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK"

god. this is the good shit. this is why I haven't killed myself yet. Now he's bitching this game is not accessible because he got hit with a debuff, didn't check what the debuff did, didn't notice his first healing hurt Beast, and then finished that mother fucker off with a second healing. he murdered that man in cold blood.

 

[actually]

it's a double post but i don't give a shit.

For everyone's clarity, I consider "double posting" to be posting two things immediately after each other. Posting again after a long period of time (hours, days, whatever) is fine.

 

[JimiHendrix]

For everyone's clarity, I consider "double posting" to be posting two things immediately after each other. Posting again after a long period of time (hours, days, whatever) is fine.

i always wanted to avoid double posting, just for general politeness but i also thought it felt weird in general to make a post and just...keep editing and adding onto it, even after hours of the original post if no one else was posting, so yeh. figured posting updated info in a thread no one is using was worth it.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

Phil just realized he got into a boss fight and has reloaded and said he will not do it because he has to end the stream.

My guess is Phil will come back next DOS2 stream and magically be aware of how to cheese out the fight. Not that knowing the strategies will actually save him from his own incompetancies.

 

[PieceofShet]

Phil, with 10 minutes left, has reached the 100$ tip goal, but unfortunately due to paypal fees and the fact people gave him too many small donations, he actually only made 90$, which of course sucks but it is what it is...at least accordin' to him.

Now wait a minute. His minimum tip count is 1.30 and he only puts 1 to the leaderboard... so how the fuck can it be less? His paypigs already paying the difference.

 

[SilverReaper]

I'm amazed he's this lost and confused. I just started playing this game myself and this is basically the tutorial island. The other part of the island might be too much for him, forget about the rest of the game.

 

[Genichiro]

I'm amazed he's this lost and confused. I just started playing this game myself and this is basically the tutorial island. The other part of the island might be too much for him, forget about the rest of the game.

Noxious bulbs are going startle and upset him. The undead ambushes and purging wand quests will make him suffer too.

 

[Gramh]

I haven't played Divinity 2 but it's on the master list so I don't want it spoiled for the sake of following our squealing porker's escapades into the meat of the game, but I've played enough CRPGs to delight in how the lack of handholding and straightforward cheese builds is going to make this a grind and a game of chicken to see who's going to give out first, the paypiggies wallets or DSP's pride.