Fictional Characters who would deserve their own threads? - Just like the other thread.

[ToroidalBoat]

Squidward Tentacles could be an "artcow". Egotistical and easily angered: common lolcow traits.

(also he could be a "halal" lolcow)

 

[Inside your walls]

Tomoko Kuroki from Watamote.

• Aspie NEET that thinks her playing Otome Games will help her lovequest, listens to weird yandere ASMR that borderlines to abuse.
• Coomer that thinks world works on weird media logic she consumes (i.e. thinking her brother is a perv that wants to fuck her and fantasizing about NTR'ing her friend's boyfriend)
• Tries various grifts to become popular which all end up backfiring at her
• Self-depricating which ends up on her ay-logging on others and herself

Probably would be a skitzocow

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Any character from YIIK, I don't think I really need to explain this one.

@Alex Yiik your thoughts?

Ignatius J. Reily from a Confederacy of Dunces is a textbooks lolcow. Pompous, self important, lives with his mother and makes no real effort to better himself.

 

[Alex Yiik]

@Alex Yiik your thoughts?

Ignatius J. Reily from a Confederacy of Dunces is a textbooks lolcow. Pompous, self important, lives with his mother and makes no real effort to better himself.

Alex would be a good lolcow.

• Self-absorbed, lazy, and feels no guilt for mooching off his mom
• Awkward and obsessive over women
• Has "friends" but no real close friendships
• A pseudo-intellectual with an inflated sense of self-worth who likes to wax poetic
• An active user of the internet since the late '90s, and would be terminally online if the events of the game never happened

The last string of minibosses before the final encounter are alternate Alexes consisting of:

Spoiler: a consoomer

Spoiler: a deathfat

Spoiler: a pedophile

Spoiler: a Redditor

There are infinite realities, and Alex is a lolcow in all of them.

 

[Overcast]

Oskar Kokoshka from Hey Arnold.

Unemployed loser who sponges off his wife, borrows money from the rest of the boarding house and never returns it, steals their food, lies constantly, is illiterate, gambles constantly to the point where he tried to gamble away his baby cousin.

Susie: “You always put me in second place!”

Oskar: What’s wrong with second place? That’s pretty good!”

He does get better at least.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

IDK why but Yuri from "DDLC"
Martin Mystery from that Canadian cartoon
Owen from "Total Drama Island"

 

[AFAB Transwoman]

I’m not sure if this has been said but since I’ve been reminded of the dreadful series then I’ll go ahead and say Nagito Komaeda would definitely have a thread as either a skitzocow or horrorcow.


EDIT: I think he’d probably be more of a horrorcow.

 

[MistressCaridad]

The kid from GoT. I can't remember his name off the top of my head. The incest baby who gets slapped by Tyrion.

Joffrey.

In that vein:

(Horrorcow) Cersei Lannister / Cersei Baratheon / Mad Queen Cersei: Rapidly aging alcoholic thot with daddy issues, gross obsession with her twin and underage cousin, horrible mother, cucked by both street hookers and Westeros’s butchest woman.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

Most of if not all of the characters from any given Fate series.

Shirou Emiya is a red headed Japanese dork who is autistically obsessed with helping people and being a super hero. So much so that he has mentioned it out loud in public on several occasions. He hurts himself a lot doing stupid shit and for the majority of his life he almost kills himself anytime he even tries to activate magic much less use it.

Heavens Feel Shirou is even worse because he thirsts for Sakura who is a doormat. She gets constantly raped and beaten by her brother, who is somehow Shirou’s friend, and on top of that spent her entire childhood being violated by worms in a pit because her grandfather is insane. Shirou knowing all this still wants to fuck her and does.

Eventually he does become a superhero though… at the cost of his afterlife. Basically he gets the power to save people buuut he’s also now a slave to the will of the world and exists only to clean up humanities messes which apparently translates to killing brown people a lot. Now he’s insane and depressed and wants to kill his younger self knowing full well that it can’t create a paradox that would end his suffering.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Tomoko Kuroki from Watamote.

• Aspie NEET that thinks her playing Otome Games will help her lovequest, listens to weird yandere ASMR that borderlines to abuse.
• Coomer that thinks world works on weird media logic she consumes (i.e. thinking her brother is a perv that wants to fuck her and fantasizing about NTR'ing her friend's boyfriend)
• Tries various grifts to become popular which all end up backfiring at her
• Self-depricating which ends up on her ay-logging on others and herself

Probably would be a skitzocow
View attachment 3549435

IRL she would troon out and larp as a ftm gay softboi

 

[The Noise]

Squidward Tentacles could be an "artcow". Egotistical and easily angered: common lolcow traits.

(also he could be a "halal" lolcow)

Squidward only acts the way he does because he's working a dead-end job while forced to share a tiny neighborhood with a severely mentally disabled man and his friend who's just as dumb. While his music is awful, he's allegedly self-taught in his other talents (namely art) and constantly creates and improves despite everything in his life trying to prevent him from doing so.

If you felt you were unrecognized talent and had to constantly put up with people you despise every day of the week, you'd be mad about it too.

 

[Level99Manchild]

Most of if not all of the characters from any given Fate series.

Shirou Emiya is a red headed Japanese dork who is autistically obsessed with helping people and being a super hero. So much so that he has mentioned it out loud in public on several occasions. He hurts himself a lot doing stupid shit and for the majority of his life he almost kills himself anytime he even tries to activate magic much less use it.

Heavens Feel Shirou is even worse because he thirsts for Sakura who is a doormat. She gets constantly raped and beaten by her brother, who is somehow Shirou’s friend, and on top of that spent her entire childhood being violated by worms in a pit because her grandfather is insane. Shirou knowing all this still wants to fuck her and does.

Eventually he does become a superhero though… at the cost of his afterlife. Basically he gets the power to save people buuut he’s also now a slave to the will of the world and exists only to clean up humanities messes which apparently translates to killing brown people a lot. Now he’s insane and depressed and wants to kill his younger self knowing full well that it can’t create a paradox that would end his suffering.

Shiro's past was pretty shitty if you know about Fate Zero. I'm not much of a Fate person, but with the exception of the evil priest everyone had a it shitty (Hell, even FGO characters still have shitty lives, but they're not as crazy as the original graphic novel). Ed Teach would be a lolcow from FGO if you played through some of the events.

Doug Funny would be a Sjw Lolcow with how much of a whiny little cunt he was on the sucky Disney series. Actually, he was still a cunt on the Nick show. Jay Sherman would be a careercow because despite his good intentions, he's an eccentric prick that shoots himself in the foot. He really doesn't have any friends besides Alice and his son. Duckman would be another cow. Yes, Duckman has his shining moments, but he's still a backstabbing, selfish and perverted cunt who treats people like shit. Could Arbuckle be a lolcow even if took him 10+ years to get Liz's pussy?

 

[A Wumpa Fruit]

Squidward Tentacles could be an "artcow". Egotistical and easily angered: common lolcow traits.

(also he could be a "halal" lolcow)

Now that you mention Spongebob, classic Patrick could be also a lolcow, for every dumb, stupid stuff he makes, Modern Patrick is easily an horrorcow/skitzocow

 

[Becky McDonald]

Anyone say Lisa Simpson yet?
Basically a combo of AOC and Greta but even younger and preachier. People would be having all sorts of murder fantasies over that bitch if she existed IRL.

 

[starborn427614]

Mandark from Dexter's Lab. Way too up his own ass and obsessed with his rival's sister. The perfect storm.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Ramona Flowers and Scott Pilgrim
Asuka Langley
Goh and Team Rocket and Anime!Brock from Pokemon

 

[Overcast]

Doug Funny would be a Sjw Lolcow with how much of a whiny little cunt he was on the sucky Disney series. Actually, he was still a cunt on the Nick show. Jay Sherman would be a careercow because despite his good intentions, he's an eccentric prick that shoots himself in the foot. He really doesn't have any friends besides Alice and his son. Duckman would be another cow. Yes, Duckman has his shining moments, but he's still a b
backstabbing, selfish and perverted cunt who treats people like shit. Could Arbuckle be a lolcow even if took him 10+ years to get Liz's pussy?

Looking back, Doug was a real piece of shit.

He tried taking care of an abandoned puppy only to find it was too much for both him and his friends to handle, so instead of taking it to say... a shelter or a humane society, he just dumps it where he found it. Even does the whole "Go get the stick, Boy!" schtick and rides off while the dog's distracted.

There was also that one episode where he smacked his pregnant mom on the ass in a suggestive matter while trying to act what he believed a mature adult acted like. Boy was like thirteen at this point.

As for Duckman, I've only watched up until about halfway through season 3 and was always wondering what his dead wife saw in him as whenever she was mentioned or shown in a memory she was portrayed as this very kind and almost pure figure.

Season 3 spoiler for a twenty something year old show:

Spoiler

Turned out she was just as shitty as he is. (That or incredibly retarded) She cheated on her husband, got pregnant from Duckman, and after Duckman accidentally caused her husband to die of a heart attack, she barely took any time to mourn for him before going straight to Duckman.

Things made a hell of a lot more sense then.

 

[Level99Manchild]

Looking back, Doug was a real piece of shit.

He tried taking care of an abandoned puppy only to find it was too much for both him and his friends to handle, so instead of taking it to say... a shelter or a humane society, he just dumps it where he found it. Even does the whole "Go get the stick, Boy!" schtick and rides off while the dog's distracted.

There was also that one episode where he smacked his pregnant mom on the ass in a suggestive matter while trying to act what he believed a mature adult acted like. Boy was like thirteen at this point.

As for Duckman, I've only watched up until about halfway through season 3 and was always wondering what his dead wife saw in him as whenever she was mentioned or shown in a memory she was portrayed as this very kind and almost pure figure.

This is also the same cunt that snuck into that violent r-rated movie only to become a pussy bitch at the end. It tells you something when Roger was more mature than Doug, but if anyone rivaled Doug for being a douche bag it was Guy (the one kid who always did dumb shit with a straight face and somehow made Doug do dumb shit). Duckman was always meant to be an asshole even when he's right. You're not meant to cheer him on even when he proves Cornfed wrong or his behavior makes people around him say, "You know what? This is bullshit, but I don't want to be like him." He exposed the problems with hypocritical pc practices and society by being his world's lolcow. That said, everyone in his life was kind of an asshole (even Cornfed, who is probably the "most decent" person on the show). Interesting thing about his wife was Bernice was actually Beatrice in the short series comics if I remember correctly (I could be wrong).

 

[Buster Scruggs]

Alice from Superjail
>used to be a homo
>decided to transition for a straight man
>said straight man ends up being gay and rejects them and they get fired
>new boss only hires Alice because he's a tranny chaser

If she was real the tranch would've hired her as a private guard

 

[Metamorpho]

- Micah Bell from RDR2 (I mean, c'mon)
- Michael De Santa in GTAV
- Wheatley from Portal 2
- Scout from TF2
- Hank Schrader from Breaking Bad. They're MiNeRaLs, Marie!!!
- Kano from Mortal Kombat
- Johnny Silverhand from Cyberpunk 2020/2077 (though tbh he probably might get a pass simply for being played by Keanu in the 2077 game)
- Nazeem in Skyrim
- Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones
- Voldo from Soul Calibur
- D'Vorah from Mortal Kombat

And from my personal favorite game series:

- Meredith Stannard from Dragon age 2
- Oghren from Dragon Age: Origins
- Krem in Dragon Age: Inquisition (for being tranny fanservice)
- Anders from Dragon Age 2

I could keep the list going but I'm too high to care.

So many NPCs in Skyrim deserve their own threads like Heimskr, Astrid, the Radiant Raiment bitches, the list goes on and on.