Fictional Characters who'd be Kiwifarmers

Most iteractions of Soundwave, just to film and post Starscream's spergouts and his petty spats with other Decepticons. For the Autobots, maybe TFA's teenage Sari, but just to laugh at trannies and slacktivists who are actually afraid of your average darkie. Probably would get half-doxed if she mentioned her father's inventions though. TFP's Ratchet too, and would browse the amhole thread and wonder why some humans do that to themselves. I put too much thought into this...
 
Fuck it, let's do another one; Lexington from Gargoyles. Tech-savvy and is very curious of human machinery in general. Has an eye for this stuff. Probably would get Broadway in on gawking at troons and trying not to get sick from the Islamic content/texts. They both secretly hope they don't run into any well known east coast lolcows. It'd get to a point where Goliath has to chop down the internet due to Lex's constant mentions of the hororrs of zoophiles and drunk lawyers.

Poor Elisa would be sucked into it by reluctantly answering police/court related questions. She'd be right behind Goliath on limiting the internet.

Xanatos would try to hack into this site because reasons.
 
allWhile we're at it lets add Dutch too.
Dutch would be a Reddit dude. Something more "respectable" where he works as a Jannie/admin in other subreddits and annoying the other admins by power flexing he's an IRL cop whenever someone encroaches on his turf.

Meanwhile Claudette would definitely be a 4chan poster and /b/ veteran while Shane and Vic would be all "stupid computer nerds" and look at Ronnie all weird as he tries to explain the difference between 4chan, SA, and Kiwifarms and Shane in particular being shocked that people pay money to post on SA.
 
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Most definitely Shockwave.

He’d love to document, stalk and study lolcows, finding them fascinating. I bet he’d make lolcow threads for other Decepticons, specially about Starscream, maybe even about Megatron & Soundwave too, calling Soundwave Megatron’s white knight or something.

He’d also indulge in endless sperging about an obscure science topic that his autism has decided to fixate on.

Since he is always thinking about logic, I bet he’d analyse the logic of the propositions of the average lolcow.​
 
JC Denton.
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HBO's Rome: most of the cast, honestly.

Posca: acerbic, surprisingly well-informed A&N poster.

Titus Pullo: jovial bro who spends most of his time on multimedia and speculating about the bangability of various female lolcows.

Marc Antony: drunk/high poster extraordinaire

Atia: acid-tongued Beauty Parlour contributor, accidentally does herself with her inside knowledge of various high profile women
 
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The Doctor. He changes his avy every regeneration and his arguments flip, so he's constantly looking like a hypocrite.
 
Patches; specifically Patches the Hyena from Demons' Souls and Trusty Patches from Dark Souls 1. Both spread a lot of gossip that turns out to be true about the other characters.

Chief from Armored Core V: "humans are just so damn interesting!"

A lot of Touhou characters, but specifically Yukari Yakumo, Okina Matara, Aya Shameimaru, Hatate Himekaidou, and probably Mamizou Futatsuiwa. I could list 20 others. That's not an exaggeration.

Iguazu from Armored Core VI, only to get his own halal thread after he tries a personal army request against Raven.

Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3 because he's a catty faggot.

T.V.'s Frank from Mystery Science Theater 3000 would leak all the deets on Dr. Forester.
 
Jim Profit
(Dexter and Patrick Bateman's Inspiration)

During the day, he is all business and at night its time to sneed.

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Jim Profit – born James "Jimmy" Stakowski, he was raised in a cardboard G&G shipping box (with a hole cut out for him to view a constantly-on television) by a neglectful, physically and psychologically abusive father in a rural area near Tulsa, Oklahoma. Profit reinvents himself as an Ivy League-educated, corporate business prodigy after escaping his past by chaining his father to his bed, setting it afire, then fleeing the family ranch as a teenager. His upbringing leaves Profit with a hatred of TV, and idolizing Gracen & Gracen as the ideal family he never had. As a result, Profit's goal as an adult is to rise high enough in G&G to indispensably embed himself into the Gracens’ business and personal lives – by any means necessary. He worked in auditing before ascending to junior vice president of Acquisitions; his stated goal is to become president of Acquisitions. He climbs the corporate ladder by covertly engineering the ruin of those who stand in his way and/or refuse to assist him, while mostly staying behind-the-scenes himself.
 
Arata Sanada from Digimon Cyber Sleuth
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Franken Fran would be a BP regular.

The Eltingville Club would be immediately banned from OT, then Artcow and nerdy e-celebcow threads, then A&H, then the site altogether for obvious reasons (and spamming/clogging a billion "trivia-off" threads and in-fights), but not before providing a legendary Halal thread.
 
Archie Bunker from All In The Family

Rorschach from Watchmen

Probably a bunch of major and minor characters from Watchmen while we're at it

Postal Dude from his eponymous video game series

Mr. Rogers just because he'd be hilariously out of place here and yet somehow would remain utterly unphased by all the sheer horror and insanity which would just make him even funnier
 
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