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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 168 22.0%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.1%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    763
i dont think any of those fools will leave the cell without some kind of emergency. it will go on indefinitely until it is just burt dancing to sfx infront of a bunch of corpses.
 
popnloch ness monster said:
If they had gfs, we'd get cool shit like cooking competitions
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Jet's gf was confirmed recently I'm pretty sure. Also I found Frank Hassle's gf on Instagram but that's irrelevant rn.

All in all that was some seriously unhinged schizo theory crafting and I am usually all for schizo theory crafting.
 
@DOORSTUCK found this, I'm just archiving it

Pajeet is a rapeyboi:
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Maybe I'm fucken retarded said:
I'm curious what Franks GF looks like. I can only imagine Sylvia like slampigs.
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She's very pretty but in a BPD Sanrio life ruination kind of way.

There's lots of photos of her with Frank. Here are a few of them. There are several with just his arm tattoo visible as well.
Screenshot_2024-11-10-12-16-48-86_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpgScreenshot_2024-11-10-12-16-57-16_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpgScreenshot_2024-11-10-12-16-14-26_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpg

She's also following what looks like Frank's private Instagram.
 
Swamp_Donkey said:
Jet's gf was confirmed recently I'm pretty sure. Also I found Frank Hassle's gf on Instagram but that's irrelevant rn.

All in all that was some seriously unhinged schizo theory crafting and I am usually all for schizo theory crafting.
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Unhinged schizo what? It's hinged schizo theory crafting. Either the crying is context relevant or it's not. If it is, it also informs us what the context is, so it can or can not inform us of other things and so on and so on. If it's not, it's indicative of some other frustration I can't begin to guess what it is, it's just generalised - he could as easily break into cry talking to Burt as he could also cry because the egg got stuck to the pan frying it that morning. So the truth that can be known is limited to the fact we have a frustrated guy.
The gf bit is me being flippant while it's also relevant - just having a gf doesn't turn you into a girl dad that calls your other your "partner", it's time, natural inclination or it's never happening. It's partnerships of equals over time that melds references. I was thinking Redbar when I was thinking of a significant female other turning a show parts girly even if the overwhelming presence is a man relishing in being disagreeable.

And that's not even the relevant matter - the point was that a bunch of guys are failing to round out the experience of a reality show to its contestants in a believable way, lacking a natural tendency to do so because the people who would naturally be inclined to do so aren't there (WOMEN OR A GUY WITH THEIR ROUGH EDGES WORN OUT). Burt's right to pick up on it because there are things to pick up there. The most we ever got to having female input was the fashion of season 2. Suddenly there's a fashion show.
 
jenna raiding said:
I gotta commend Payton for still going strong, I would’ve expected her to tap out by now
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bookers said:
i'm rooting for her tbh. think shes lowkey a really good contestant
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She said last night that she's in it to win it and isn't leaving. She's being a lot more outgoing and seems happy now. She's laughing at stupid TTS and jokes at her expense. She might actually be final 3 (Binx, Burt, Payton).
 
Swamp_Donkey said:
Dude the crying was a bit. He was crying because "Luke lied" (jet cried).
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Jet doesn't do bits, Jet couldn't do a bit even badly without a half a day's worth of mental prep of making it as lame as possible and he can't cry on command for bits. We have seen his bits, they're not bit sized. The most he can do is vent genuine frustration in an opportune context (and we wouldn't even have had that if he'd been 30 minutes more awake before that), which falls under being context irrelevant. Or context half relevant. There's possibly a context relevancy to him in that context irrelevancy to us to puzzle out. That's the unhinged territory. Only the real masters like Burt go there.
 
Jet's giving them the Hanoi Hannah treatment over the speakers. Saying all sorts of shit to demoralize them like "Burt, there are clues to what's really going on but they're all outside the room. Alex, come out for important information about your monkeys."

"Go home, GI. Your country has abandoned you and you can't win the Cell challenge. Think of the monkeys, GI. The Hollywood producers in the kitchen leave in an hour"
HanoiHannah001-3685509187.jpg
 
popnloch ness monster said:
Jet doesn't do bits, Jet couldn't do a bit even badly without a half a day's worth of mental prep of making it as lame as possible and he can't cry on command for bits. We have seen his bits, they're not bit sized. The most he can do is vent genuine frustration in an opportune context (and we wouldn't even have had that if he'd been 30 minutes more awake before that), which falls under being context irrelevant. Or context half relevant. There's possibly a context relevancy to him in that context irrelevancy to us to puzzle out. That's the unhinged territory. Only the real masters like Burt go there.
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As much as I enjoyed Friendtank, I'm glad everyone else doesn't let Jet have full control.
 
popnloch ness monster said:
Jet doesn't do bits, Jet couldn't do a bit even badly without a half a day's worth of mental prep of making it as lame as possible and he can't cry on command for bits. We have seen his bits, they're not bit sized. The most he can do is vent genuine frustration in an opportune context (and we wouldn't even have had that if he'd been 30 minutes more awake before that), which falls under being context irrelevant. Or context half relevant. There's possibly a context relevancy to him in that context irrelevancy to us to puzzle out. That's the unhinged territory. Only the real masters like Burt go there.
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You're right jet doesn't do bits. That was Andrew that cried.
 
popnloch ness monster said:
If it was solely Jet in charge of it, there'd be no hell in the house. He's a feels guy, quick to empathise and start identifying with the contestants, and I've seen no ability from him to switch off and dehumanise the fish to put them through trials.
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honestly he was a horrible pick, there's a great show called unreal thats basically all about the behind the scenes on The Bachelor, and even though its fiction its obviously based around how psychopathic you need to learn to be to make these shows, and obviously a show aired at 9pm for Boomers on ABC isn't going to be as sick and twisted as something made by Sam Hyde, but even if Jet somehow got hired onto that show or the real Big Brother, he'd be fired or quit before the seasons over because he can't treat the contestants as pawns instead of people.

Its obvious this show was one of many sam hyde schemes, Jet decided to become the showrunnner or pitched the show and became the man in charge, but he just can't fucking do it. And because Sam Hyde's a cheap fuck that hangs around wiggers Jet will always be the best man for the job, but he sucks. if Sam somehow hired literally any one else from the shitload of connections he's gotten they'd be able to do a better job. faggots will bring politics into it, but thats not true, even Sam Hyde fans who did reality show production tried reaching out and he didn't respond. The only reason this season is even as good as it is is because Alex Stein did way more of the pre-production this time around. Alex also helped get season 2 back on track. When whatever season 4 looks like is what season 1 should have looked like if Sam even bothered researching or doing anything instead of him and his wiggers trying to make a reality show based on what they assume reality shows are like.

Its like the editing of the season 2 episodes, yeah they're mostly ok, but we should have had that level of quality before season 1 even started. Fishtank should have its own fucking "talking fishtank" style show with one of Sam's boys giving quick recaps of the house so people can find and hop on the latest season very quickly. Why the fuck does Sam think they had those recap and discussion shows anyways? oh wait, Sam hates television so never even watched them.

Like every reality show contestant the day after they're eliminated gets put on talk shows to talk about the experience and semi-gaslight them into not suing. but somehow Sam didn't even figure out that part. jesus fucking christ
popnloch ness monster said:
I was thinking Redbar when I was thinking of a significant female other turning a show parts girly even if the overwhelming presence is a man relishing in being disagreeable.
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redbar was molested as a kid so he pretty much conforms to whomever is giving him attention, if its a nazi like sven then he becomes a nazi, if its a liberal like fritz then he's liberal, if its a playboy like kyle lane then he's a playboy, if its a mostly bigoted gamer named jules then he's mostly bigoted.
 
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