🐟 Fishtank Fishtank.Live General - Jet Neptune's Pisces Aquarium Internet Reality Show w/ Host Bam Margera

Official KF Fishtank livechat here!

With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%
  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%
  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%
  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%
  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%

  • Total voters
    764
Soon.
Screenshot 2023-05-16 152951.png
 
3:45PM
Living Room

Fatty holster the gun in his butt crack.... I don't want to know who touches it next.

(the gun, not his butthole)

Please tell me someone got a screengrab of that?!
I can't find him doing that but saw him stuff what looks like a small plushy in his right pocket for some reason.
1684268945171.png


Update: Found it, unfortunately.
1684269987692.png
 
Last edited:
Whose a paypig here and has access to the archives. I need a clip

16:32 May 16th 2023 Laundry room cam

Maybe a minute or two prior. Letty was walking towards the laundry room when the black guy busted in from the basement door and Letty's shocked face was so funny along with her staggering back a few steps.
 
Nigger is yelling and telling the fish to put their colors on.
I can't understand most of what he says.
it's mostly "mafug" and "c'mon" and then trying to act like some kind of prison retard "taking" things from the fish

officially jumped the shark with the nigger
 
KF isn't letting me directly quote you @Devil's Avocado
" From that time, he's basically around, but none of the contestants really seem to like him nor want to be around him. Sylvia doesn't like him for obvious reasons, Josie and Vance politely ignore him, Letty is forced to interact with him because they're on the same team right now, but you can see in that clip where Sam tells her to be more touchy-feely, Letty doesn't really want to do any of that and is simply being nice to ASF out of politeness; much less wants to touch him and give him wrong ideas. He's like that weird person in a group of people nobody really wants around, but at the same time, everybody is too awkward to straight up say to him to get lost. I really hope they stick him in the basement or get rid of him in some way because he is so incredibly annoying and gross I don't want to watch any room he is in."
I think what happened was Fatty's initial charm (he got along well with everyone but Sylvia the first week) wore off and people realized how mentally unstable and loud he is. I think Fat can be pretty damn funny like setting of the fire alarm multiple times but he is super grating.
 
4:50PM
Our new black friend seems to have put our contestants to test and everybody is pouring flour from Target cocaine into ziplock bags.
I think Vance just snorted a line of that unspecific powder.

Edit 5:10PM
Nevermind, the drug challenge is over (great job, guys) and it's back to studying for SATs. Vance, Josie, and Sylvia try to study in the living room but ASF is so loud and annoying they literally get up and go upstairs to get away from him.
 
Last edited:
So while the Kiwifarms was down, I made the unfortunate decision to go to /tv/ for the social commentary. I then see some faggot report the Tank to Stripe which seems to be in vain considering this is from May 10th. I could not tell if he was just trolling but this is 4chan I'm talking about here. From what he was posting I think he just hates Sam Hyde and wanted to spite him. I decided to save the screencaps for posteritys sake. I thought today would be pretty good to post em especially after learning today that the Greeks wont revoke our Certificate.

1.png2.png3.png4.png5.png
 
Last edited:
First 10 minutes of the new guest/freeloader or whatever his role is arriving at the fish tank.

 
Vance kind of cucked out with Fatty

And for a guy who had such a meltdown over Hog hassling the Hassle Fatty is really refusing to accept the reality of his situation. I know Sam and Jet were feeding him lies, but even he can't be this stupid.

Edit for context:
  • Sam and Jet pulled Fatty aside and told him about "Project L" and "shit tests"
  • They encouraged him to pursue Letty
  • As Sam is entering Letty's room to encourage her to flirt with Chris Chris enters the room and Sam leaves.
  • Chris gets outright rejected and ignored until he picks up Simmons book (which he thinks Simon wrote) and starts reading to her about game, penis size, and blowjobs.
  • Letty runs downstairs and Chris follows her.
  • She goes back upstairs to B4 with the other fish.
  • Chris thinks she is in the upstairs bathroom so he stands in the hallway reading.
  • Letty gets a TTS saying to get her backpack so she tries to sneak into B3 to retrieve it
  • Fatty spots her going back to B4 and he stands outside B4 reading loudly.

Vance goes out and yells, but when he sees Fatty in B3 and not down the hall he stops and returns to B4

Chris continues

Later Vance goes to the hallway again and yells and takes the book and throws it.

Chris continues

Vance goes out again and takes the book downstairs and you hear toilet sounds (presumably he tossed the book into the bowl or the tank) and then returns to B4

Chris starts ranting about his psychologist and starts listing every prescription pill he can think saying he can Vance some mental help

The fish are interrupted to go downstairs for a workout with Fatty

I don't have a timestamp, but I'm guessing it all started around 5:30 or 6:00 tank time.
 
Last edited:
Is the nigger already gone?
I hope so. I haven't seen any sign of him for the last hour or so

6:45PM Living Room
Sam enters and lays on the couch. He corrects Fatty that the jackpot isn't 50K but 35K

Fatty needs to get the boot, but I'd really rather see Hog go home. I'm sure production ran the numbers to see who gets more hate TTS and generates the most cash and that will influence the decision.

Sam says "By the end of this show one of these women will have been bred"

  • He keeps cracking breeding jokes and Hog declares "I can't have kids so it's not going to work"
  • He tells the fish that when he was training for the World Kick Boxing Championship this was the only workout he did (walking a few feet back and forth with a backpack full of rocks)
  • Tells Letty she looks like she is walking to school
  • Chris says "You know what I'm thinking of?" and Sam interrupts to say "Breeding!"
  • Sam makes a thinly veiled holodomor joke "In 1934 this was the only workout"

Fatty gets a TTS "You have low sperm count because you are a diabetic ogre" and then he does a terrible Shrek impression.

I think it was in response to another TTS calling him fat that he turns his back to the camera and says how everyone is jealous of his massive back muscles

  • Josie is given permission to drop her backpack. The other fish are toughing it out.
  • Letty is second to drop her bag. Sam and Fatty tell her she was irresponsible for pushing herself that hard and should have dropped it earlier.
  • Vance finally removes his backpack and watches Letty and Josie finish their laps

Sam tells Fatty he will be giving back massages all night. Sam says the winner should have to massage Chris' back and Chris corrects him to say the loser should.

Sam continues making jokes about breeding, massages, and "blowing Chris out of the ocean"

I really hope Fatty knows this whole thing is a joke and is a good actor. Otherwise it's legit a little bit scary.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
7:03PM
Hog read a list of "What it means to be a man" that was written by Vance.

It includes smoking and McDonalds among other things I was too slow to take note of

7:09PM
TTS "Letty tell us what you think of Chris"
Sam: "Letty? Do what the nice man said"

She doesn't say anything

some time between 7:10 and 7:15
TTS for Chris I THINK asking how long he would last with Letty to which he says "4 or 5 hours straight"

The (hopefully) last part of the workout is fish throwing balls at each other's heads. Chris keeps making "balls in your face" jokes. I think this whole thing only exists for his horny autistic innuendo.

Sam says the loser will not be eating dinner tonight.

Workout is over, but unfortunately Chris will perform standup

7:30PM standup begins
 
Last edited:
Back
Top Bottom