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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    764
I just had a thought about the whole kill the Duke plot line. So endgame is definitely a mock battle against Sam right? Is he going to have a giant foam claymore and just thrash the contestants until he allows a fatal killing blow by... Jon? Tai?
Also I usually am one of the few people to not mind Vance but I feel like he just isn't really interacting very much, which you think would be his strong suit as a self proclaimed inprov comedy man
 
Speaking of Xavier, he just stole the blood crystal or crystal cluster, whatever you call it. Told the camera he may have been bested in the art of the blade but not the art of stealth. How will our hero's react?

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Lowercase I internet said:
Speaking of Xavier, he just stole the blood crystal or crystal cluster, whatever you call it. Told the camera he may have been bested in the art of the blade but not the art of stealth. How will our hero's react?

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Supposedly Tay met him off-camera, and he said if she lets him borrow it, the vampires won't target her that night.
 
My favorite thing about this tournament was when xavier pointed to the kanji on his head which reads "bundle". Lol.
 
Jet showed up to give tonight's level up. He asked the group who thought deserved it, three people off camera said "Tai".

Jet told them they are wrong, because it was Jon. He says that Jon was the best roleplayer, even though "roleplaying is gay". He gave Jon one gold, as well as Tai one gold for winning the Bloodgames. The TTS then lit up with "JON IS A FAGGOT". Jet says that "being a faggot is okay, because we're all being faggots together. We're LARPing, we're swinging swords. The audience thanks you for your sacrifice."

jon level up.png


Jon is now a LEVEL 2 PALADIN.

Edit: I got Jon/Jet mixed up because I am also a retard.
 
sex haver said:
Jet showed up to give tonight's level up. He asked the group who thought deserved it, three people off camera said "Tai".

Jet told them they are wrong, because it was Jon. He says that Jon was the best roleplayer, even though "roleplaying is gay". He gave Jon one gold, as well as Tai one gold for winning the Bloodgames. The TTS then lit up with "JON IS A FAGGOT". Jet says that "being a faggot is okay, because we're all being faggots together. We're LARPing, we're swinging swords. The audience thanks you for your sacrifice."

View attachment 6136113

Jon is now a LEVEL 2 PALADIN.

Edit: I got Jon/Jet mixed up because I am also a retard.
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Jon did not get the sword in the picture, though. He got a meme they printed off of ifunny. It's a rage comic. Jon did not take it well.
 
filthypenguin said:
Jon did not get the sword in the picture, though. He got a meme they printed off of ifunny. It's a rage comic. Jon did not take it well.
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Correct, Jon was not given that weapon. Just like in the past, he was told it was "vampire only". Jet has been very clear that anything other than very obviously toy/boffer weapons are for staff only, because staff have no incentive to swing too hard, unlike the Fish who are trying to "win" and might get too excited. This is the same reason he told Jon he couldn't have an axe a few days ago; he might swing too hard and hit an NPC with the un-padded hilt.

Edit: I continue to be a retard that cannot figure out the difference between "Jet" and "Jon".
 
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sex haver said:
because staff have no incentive to swing too hard, unlike the Fish who are trying to "win" and might get too excited
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He kind of put it the opposite way, staff wants them to swing harder and be more stylish, which is why they don't want to give fish anything other than foam, especially if the weapon has PVC shit that'd break, like the sword does.
 
I actually do love the concept of Xavier being her stalker and Tay being forced to interact with him. Really wish he would reference her nudes though. Like talk about how he finds the witch from L4D extremely hot, and then have him put his arm around Tay.
 
sex haver said:
Jet showed up to give tonight's level up. He asked the group who thought deserved it, three people off camera said "Tai".

Jet told them they are wrong, because it was Jon. He says that Jon was the best roleplayer, even though "roleplaying is gay". He gave Jon one gold, as well as Tai one gold for winning the Bloodgames. The TTS then lit up with "JON IS A FAGGOT". Jet says that "being a faggot is okay, because we're all being faggots together. We're LARPing, we're swinging swords. The audience thanks you for your sacrifice."

View attachment 6136113

Jon is now a LEVEL 2 PALADIN.

Edit: I got Jon/Jet mixed up because I am also a retard.
Click to expand...
I came into this season on Team Jon because he seemed like a wholesome, young, misled, and slightly autistic wetawd... and I've changed my mind within almost minutes of him arriving on night 1.

Blood Games and the favoritism he's getting is fucking wetawded. Jon did absolutely fuck all today besides being in the hospital for half the day, limping around, complaining, and nothingburgering. The party at least dug a hole and created a fortified Shrine together today, while dwipshwit watched them and commanded them to do things his way. The basecamp cooking/chilling moments are devoid of him because he just refuses to jest with the other fish. More stoking the ego fire for the inevitable garbage fire I guess. It should have been either Tay and Vance considering Vance had the sickest moment of all of fish tank today and Tay literally stealth rizzed together a storyline continuity.

Xavier was also told to let Jon win, as it was supposed to be canon that Jon wins up to the semi-finals and then loses to Xavier per wiggersnickers during the blood games- only to them have them have a final showdown for story purposes. There's an odd thing that Jon does where he will LOUDLY proclaim his victory if he knows he hits first, call failRP, or has any semblance of a victory over someone in his mind; but when he knows he's hit first he'll freeze up and hope that onlookers judge the match to proclaim him victor or completely ignore himself getting hit because the vampires seem to be under gag. Nobody wants to piss him off or get kicked for beefing with the wannabe "cashcow" fish, so they take his side immediately. He has been doing this every single time he takes an L. He also lost basically every life he had by not going down the MANY times that he was hit during the blood games, vampire attacks, etc. Some autist on 4chan frame-by-framed the fight with the blood games 25-hit boss and said he was hit a whopping 9 times. There's a solid 5 seconds where he's trying to fight and gets poked in the back, turns around and looks at the guy, and then stabs him, then runs away. It's Neptunian.

Jon needs too kiww himsewf. In minecwaft. TTS loves to hate him which is why wiggers keep him around for more sitebux but the wiggers need to realize that being greedy does no favor to their future audience, it merely drives TTS engagement. This isn't youtube and negative engagement doesn't drive you to the top.

Another wigger L.

Lastly, they need to anoint Jimmy as a Redmage or Pyromedic or someshit, he single handedly fought off ~50 vampires with two lives during the 10PM-12AM EST vampire attacks. His lawn blower AKA flamethrower is OP.
 
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North Oakland Avenue said:
Blood Games and the favoritism he's getting is fucking wetawded. Jon did absolutely fuck all today besides being in the hospital for half the day, limping around, complaining, and nothingburgering. The party at least dug a hole and created a fortified Shrine together today, while dwipshwit watched them and commanded them to do things his way. The basecamp cooking/chilling moments are devoid of him because he just refuses to jest with the other fish. More stoking the ego fire for the inevitable garbage fire I guess. It should have been either Tay and Vance considering Vance had the sickest moment of all of fish tank today and Tay literally stealth rizzed together a storyline continuity.
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That's Jet shitting on the audience, he knows they hate jon and he just enjoys shitting on them.
 
Before I passed out earlier there was a raccoon attack on the camp. Duanye in a raccoon onesie raised their camp. It turns out he was also immune to bullets and swords while doing it. He stayed for like two minutes then zipped off like the day little raccoon he is
 
BingBongDingDong said:
Before I passed out earlier there was a raccoon attack on the camp. Duanye in a raccoon onesie raised their camp. It turns out he was also immune to bullets and swords while doing it. He stayed for like two minutes then zipped off like the day little raccoon he is
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I didn’t realize that was Duanye, that makes tay calling it a coon much funnier
 
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