Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

CiaphasCain said:
I wonder if the cabbage patch kid is even in on this? Chris has a tendency to just say shit, its very possible he just said this at random and Flutter has zero interest in having a kid.

This is of course, wishful thinking.
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It’s now speculated that she was the one who made him make a retraction and state that no one is pregnant.

Obviously we can’t know if flutter is planning on a family or whether she plans that with Chris.

Chris has said/alluded/expressed in the past that he wants a kid, or at least the idea of a perfect kid who will look up to him, never cry and presumably be cared for by a mother who will never expect him to do anything.

If flutter is aware this is how Chris likely thinks, then I should think even a retarded girl would realize that Chris is not a suitable baby father.
 
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lets all be real here. chris wouldn't be able to get flutter pregnant even if he tried, his sperm is far too defective due to being middle aged, autistic and taking HRT.
chris chan no no no.gif
 
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Maybe Chris wasn't originally planning to reproduce, but what if he later changes his mind because the rumour about him being a dad convinces him it might be a good idea?

We would effectively have manifested a retarded kid into existence.

Does KF have to pay child support for that?
 
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suckfest said:
Chris just posted the pregnancy isn’t true

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Not to be "That guy", but when people brought this to me I was quite adamant it was people taking his words wildly out of context. He was clearly saying "If I ever found out I had a child on the way I would tell you, or maybe not, who knows?" to try and be intelligent and a bit mysterious because he is, ultimately, a fucking retard who has to speak in metaphors perpetually.
That being said, with Flutter I wanted to post my own theorising for a moment but I doubt I am saying anything too unique or crazy interesting.
Firstly, I am not sure she is a love interest or anything more than a tard wrangler who's being paid occasionally to keep Chris on an even (well, as even as he can be put on) keel, we've seen little in the way of any interaction between them which would suggest anything more than them being friends since the first time we saw her, there's also the matter of, if she comes from Finland why and how did she come into his life naturally if they spoke in prison? It feels way to weird and I had friend say "Maybe she's one of those chicks who thinks she can fix Chris or she's doing it for the sake of being part of his story", both feel wrong as she is VERY good at keeping her identity a secret, way more than a normal person is right? Like she is extremely good at hiding her face and masking herself to such an extent that we haven't got good photos or a read on who she is. The most I've heard is "Well she has an UwU anime voice she uses" which has suggested she puts this on for Chris and.. I could see that, there's an outside chance her voice and natural cadence is just much higher and "girlier" than most people, it's not totally unreasonable. The fact we've seen next to know real "Closeness" between them in public, the fact she's VERY hidden and Chris is so cagey about their friendship/relationship seems to me they're not dating but are just friends in his mind, if he was dating someone you know he'd be bleating on about it fucking constantly. I reckon he is making a concerted effort to be attractive to her by learning finnish and (potentially) buying her con tickets and putting her up when she's in america, as well as playing Chauffeur, but I don't believe they're dating.
 
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SigueSigueSpergnik said:
So far, there's no proof of that.

@Zeus Blue Thunder picked one comment out of a livestream and misrepresented it to make it appear as though Chris had admitted to fathering a child.

It's an attention grab, and it worked. Hell, I even bought into it briefly. Going back and comparing what was actually said vs. how the information was presented changed that significantly.

Chris has his own history of trolling, and it's entirely possible that this is all that it is. Until he and / or Flutter can produce a due date, birth certificate, or actual baby, it's unconfirmed.
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When Chris confirms Flutter's government name, that's when we'll know he's actually not bullshitting.
 
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Cats said:
Thank god. Can you imagine how horrible life would be for that poor child. I would rather float eternally within the quantum probability foam never to attain consciousness than wake up in that reality. Talk about losing the lottery :[
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Their life wouldn't be that long anyway considering how incompetent Chris is. He'd inevitably drop them down the stairs, shake them too hard, and/or another retarded decision. To be quite honest it's astonishing he himself has lived as long as he has.
 
The joke is on me. With Chris being such a prolific larping faggot I should have assumed that was the case. It would have been less retarded than the truth that he apparently never even meant he got Flutter pregnant.
 
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