Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

TrainWreckWatcher said:
Yeah this isn't a surprise.
Chris acts like a child he was just alluding because he wanted to try and impress people into thinking he is going to pound town with Flutter constantly.
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I mean statistically speaking with zero numbers for me to back this up with, there at least be one retarded bitch who will let him get her pregnant in the world.
 
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Chris legitimately believes the following:
- That an abusive babysitter gave him autism by locking him in a room full of toys
- That the Principal of Nathaniel Greene Elementary pinned him to the ground and made him sit in his lap just so he can record his screams and because the principal was gay or something
- That Greene County further retaliated years later by joining in some shadowy conspiracy to prevent the Chandler's from being able to sell their house.
- That Mary Lee Walsh tore up his attraction sign because she hates true love and that she told him that he'll never get a girlfriend.
- That the people of the Game Place (Michal, Megan, Mimms etc) were behind all the trolling and were actively working and communicating with ED
- That him and his mom didn't actually hit Michael Snyder with their car. Michael being a dirty and sneaky JEW faked injury by rubbing his leg against the bumper or some shit so he could sue them.
- That some neighbor he had beef with over a dead cat broke into his house to steal his homework and also trained an evil attack snake to invade 14 BC.

And these are some of his "saner" beliefs. You'd think by now people would know better than to believe the ridiculous crap that comes out of his mouth and treat everything he says with a healthy dose of skepticism, but here we are again.
 
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BobJones997 said:
Chris legitimately believes the following:
- That an abusive babysitter gave him autism by locking him in a room full of toys
- That the Principal of Nathaniel Greene Elementary pinned him to the ground and made him sit in his lap just so he can record his screams and because the principal was gay or something
- That Greene County further retaliated years later by joining in some shadowy conspiracy to prevent the Chandler's from being able to sell their house.
- That Mary Lee Walsh tore up his attraction sign because she hates true love and that she told him that he'll never get a girlfriend.
- That the people of the Game Place (Michal, Megan, Mimms etc) were behind all the trolling and were actively working and communicating with ED
- That him and his mom didn't actually hit Michael Snyder with their car. Michael being a dirty and sneaky JEW faked injury by rubbing his leg against the bumper or some shit so he could sue them.
- That some neighbor he had beef with over a dead cat broke into his house to steal his homework and also trained an evil attack snake to invade 14 BC.
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- That Tito from Rocket Power was real and the one trolling him.
- That you can grow a labia by listening to special audio on Youtube.
- That MLP G5 caused the war in Ukraine.
- That Megan actually wanted him.
- That his dad went to C-197 in Sonichu form, and he was always part Sonichu as well.
- That Shigeru Miyamoto would actually come to his house for an interview.
 
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BobJones997 said:
That an abusive babysitter gave him autism by locking him in a room full of toys
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that's not "impossible" depending on your definition of autism, in which, the commonly accepted one is kinda flawed
psychological and physical damage alike can cause autism-like symptoms, we just don't call it autism if it was induced
it's very likely he had a predisposition to it which an emotionally damaging social event in his childhood exacerbated
BobJones997 said:
That the Principal of Nathaniel Greene Elementary pinned him to the ground and made him sit in his lap just so he can record his screams and because the principal was gay or something
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also not impossible knowing what some teachers do
i've personally seen kids get pinned to the floor by teachers back in school for minor non violent misbehaviors like doing silly faces at the kids in class through the window or something

there's some fucked up people working with kids who seem to just get off on having that much control over someone who doesn't know better or can't fight back
 
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Seedling said:
I imagine Flutter caught the wild fire roaring and decided to take Chris's phone and make a proper post addressing the situation before it got any worse
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Oh my god she swiped the phone from him to put out the fire....?
 
Black Yoshi said:
- That Tito from Rocket Power was real and the one trolling him.
- That you can grow a labia by listening to special audio on Youtube.
- That MLP G5 caused the war in Ukraine.
- That Megan actually wanted him.
- That his dad went to C-197 in Sonichu form, and he was always part Sonichu as well.
- That Shigeru Miyamoto would actually come to his house for an interview.
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- That sonic's arms are tan. Lmao has this fat retard actually played the sonic games?

Sonic_the_Hedgehog_1_Genesis_box_art.jpg
 
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CyrusHowler said:
I still find it interesting that there have been no actual attempts on Chris’ life in the almost 20 years of infamy.
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If I were an assassin, I would be deterred by the fact that the last time Chris feared for his life he ended up dropping a massive steaming load in his bed sheets. I wouldn't want to be within a ten mile radius of that smell.
 
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CyrusHowler said:
I still find it interesting that there have been no actual attempts on Chris’ life in the almost 20 years of infamy.
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Don’t be absurd.

He is a strange fellow, but it’s unlikely he has angered anyone who would have the means to kill him and get away with it.

And even if some people and weens “hate” him, how many random weens who are probably just as retarded as Chris in their own way are going to stalk and kill him?

No one is going to do time for that, or be forever known as the psycho retard who murdered Chris Chan.
Plus it would take some planning and capacity which I doubt many internet living shut ins would have.

Sure he was a known nuisance around where he spent his time wandering malls and harassing women, but again, no one is going to do time for killing the village idiot.
 
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Hate to see so many people happy about this. Chris is basically lolcow royalty, given Divine Right by God to be endlessly used as content, so much so that even raping his own demented mother did not remove him from his throne for long. Him having a child is essential for constructing a lineage for generations to come to enjoy. Think about your Grandchildren, why would you want to deny them a Chandler of their own to mock?
 
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