Former Celebrities

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Captain Cid said:
And she got rocks and bottles thrown at her face at some gathering of the juggalos fest a couple years back. Who in the hell thought they would want to see her? She tried to win the crowd over by showing her tits. That's a trick she learned early on, only it doesn't work on people who hate you. This apparently worsened the audience's attitude toward her so much that they chased her into her trailer, started rocking it and smashed the windows.
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I'm certain everyone involved in booking Tila for the gathering, up to and including Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, knew exactly what'd happen when they booked her on the show. Juggalos, as you might be aware, are a rowdy bunch, and they booked Tila Tequila on the show because they were certain the audience would hate her and it'd allow the crowd to vent their anger. They did the same thing with Andrew WK at the '08 Gathering.

I don't know if it's happened since. The crowd was so brutal to Tila I'm certain almost anyone who thinks a similar thing might happen to them would never agree to take the gig. But there are a lot of desperate fame whores out there, and the likes of Chet Haze Hanx certainly seem like big enough gluttons for punishment to try anything once.

drtoboggan said:
Ace was the best songwriter of the group and made the best 1978 solo album, even charting with New York Groove. And he did it with only a Anton Fig.
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Gene Simmons certainly has a big ego and no sense of perspective, but isn't Ace a drunken fuckup who'd drive anyone mad?

I know it's easy to take someone other than Gene Simmons' side, but I tend to believe people capable of sobriety and holding onto their money over broke alcoholics, even when said broken alcoholics have sense enough to know that Music from the Elder was the worst idea in the world.

Frank Rizzo said:
I could have sworn she later backpedaled out of that and explained it as "I WAS JUST TROLLING, LOLZ!"
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Because this explanation has worked so well every other time it was tried.


I actually find Tila Tequila pretty fascinating. She's probably the purest example of someone who blurs the line between a lolcow and a celebrity. She's also the only person on said border I can think of who was the former before becoming the latter.

I wouldn't consider anything she's done dignified or worth repeating by any other human being, but it's still fascinating that it happened at all. It's like knowing "In the Year 2525 (Exordium et Terminus)" actually went to number 1 on the US Billboard charts.
 
*Asterisk* said:
I know it's easy to take someone other than Gene Simmons' side, but I tend to believe people capable of sobriety and holding onto their money over broke alcoholics, even when said broken alcoholics have sense enough to know that Music from the Elder was the worst idea in the world.
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Someone can easily make a lot of money by being a manipulative, devious liar. I wouldn't use that as a litmus test for honesty or accuracy.
 
AnOminous said:
Someone can easily make a lot of money by being a manipulative, devious liar. I wouldn't use that as a litmus test for honesty or accuracy.
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I didn't say it applied to people who made a lot of money, I said it applied to people who hung on to the money they made. Bernie Madoff, for instance, pretended he had a lot of money, but in reality was spending billions more of his and others money than even existed.

I also don't mean it as a statement that they're a good person, just that they're easier to believe than a drunk who pissed their fortune away. Personally, I think Gene Simmons has many terrible personality traits. It just sounds like Ace Frehley has his own issues, too.
 
The Dude said:
Axel Rose and Meatloaf are both pretty cow-ish.
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Oh damn. I forgot about Axl "takes over a decade to make a shit album" Rose and Meat "only good when someone else writes my stuff" Loaf. Loaf on Celebrity Apprentice was interesting. I always thought Busey was crazier and more talented (he was a musician and applied this to his role as Buddy Holly), but he's actually more sane.
 
Frank Miller is this for comics. Once heralded as the man who, with Alan Moore, proved superheroes don't need to be lighthearted romps, something in him just broke around 9/11 and these days he's more famous for his racist and sexist rants than his work, which has also become pretty terrible.

And for similar reasons, Mel Gibson, though as he's started playing villains now, something he never did pre-breakdown, it's entirely possible he's embraced the public perception of him.
 
Pinball Lizard said:
Frank Miller is this for comics. Once heralded as the man who, with Alan Moore, proved superheroes don't need to be lighthearted romps, something in him just broke around 9/11 and these days he's more famous for his racist and sexist rants than his work, which has also become pretty terrible.
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I saw a recent pic of him not too long ago. The man literally looks like death. What the hell happened to him? He didn't look like that 10 years ago.

Also Alan Moore is a lolcow in his own right, although not as bad as Frank Moore. He looks like some homeless guy that hangs out on Haight Street in San Francisco and apparently worships some Roman snake God.
 
TheMightyMonarch said:
I saw a recent pic of him not too long ago. The man literally looks like death. What the hell happened to him? He didn't look like that 10 years ago.
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He's 58. That makes a big difference for a lot of people.

That said, he still looks terrible, even for his age. He looks like a man in his 80s with terminal cancer.
 
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DerSandstrom said:
A thread about former celebs and no mention of Dustin Diamond. He's pretty much the embodiment of former celeb lolcow nowadays.
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Fun fact about this guy: his middle name's Neil.

Knowing that, if I ever come across a lot of money, I'm paying someone to drive by his house blasting "I Am, I Said" every day until the government gives him the death penalty.
 
DerSandstrom said:
A thread about former celebs and no mention of Dustin Diamond. He's pretty much the embodiment of former celeb lolcow nowadays.

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A blog that keeps track of washed-up celebrities has a ton of embarrassing dirt on this guy. To hear them and other observers tell the tale, he must be one of the biggest douches to ever darken American TV screens. Too much to even summarize; best to click the link above and marvel in the Sheer Fail this character has embodied ever since he first inflicted himself on Saved by the Bell.
 
PurpleSquirrel said:
A blog that keeps track of washed-up celebrities has a ton of embarrassing dirt on this guy. To hear them and other observers tell the tale, he must be one of the biggest douches to ever darken American TV screens. Too much to even summarize; best to click the link above and marvel in the Sheer Fail this character has embodied ever since he first inflicted himself on Saved by the Bell.
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That's not even the worst part: He ended up writing a book about his "exploits" on Saved by the Bell, which he dubbed as the "tell-all, behind-the-scenes" look at the show from his "hilarious" and "real" perspective.

In reality, it's just an extremely bitter man jealous that he didn't get in the pants of his female co-stars while his "douche" male co-stars allegedly did. But don't worry. He scored with a lot of females; hundreds by his count. And drugs. Because Hollywood.

More cringewrothy, He also has a sex tape. Because all lolcows seem to have sex tapes.
 
The last I remember of him was when he surfaced around 2000 or so in a fight with a guy who was running a parody website. He sued the guy, and LOST. Now THAT'S 100% grade-A cow there, as in desperately trying to find a way to make a wounded ego into an actionable legal case.... and failing.

And he didn't bring up libel or slander charges, he brought copyright infringement, on a PARODY website that was not operated for profit.
 
Andy Dick. Famous comedian and actor turned into raving maniac addicted to almost every narcotic known to man.
Has shown his dick on stage, been kicked out of a ton of places, said some racial stuff, etc.
His Wikipedia article is hilarious.
 
PhysicianPhallus said:
Andy Dick. Famous comedian and actor turned into raving maniac addicted to almost every narcotic known to man.
Has shown his dick on stage, been kicked out of a ton of places, said some racial stuff, etc.
His Wikipedia article is hilarious.
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Andy Dick was a celebrity? His best performance was getting his head repeatedly smashed into a bar by Jon Lovitz.
 
Captain Cid said:
Andy Dick was a celebrity? His best performance was getting his head repeatedly smashed into a bar by Jon Lovitz.
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Somehow, he achieved enough celebrity that the producers of Star Trek: Voyager thought they'd get a big ratings boost by having him guest-star. And even then they apparently decided to hedge their bets, as they put him in that episode with the crazy starship that could split up into three smaller ones and blow the shit out of enemies.

Considering his role in what happened to Phil Hartman however, I'd say that Dick crosses the line from being a lolcow into a full-blown horrorcow, and then some.
 
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