Fun sayings or expressions that you know of

[Chad Holdenford]

"O que é um peido pra quem tá todo cagado" (What's a fart for he who already shat himself)
"Tá no Inferno, abraça o Capeta" (When you're in Hell, you may as well hug the Devil)
Both expressions essentially mean to face a difficult task or decision in times of trouble and with limited options.

"Onde Judas perdeu as botas" (Where Judas lost his boots) - A very far away place.

"Em rio que tem piranha, jacaré nada de costas" (In a river full of piranhas, alligators swim backstroke) - Don't be so cocky when you face danger.

"Passarinho que come pedra sabe o cu que tem" (Little birds that eat pebbles know how their assholes work) - If you deal with dangerous and suspect stuff, don't complain when things go wrong.

"Em tempo de guerra, todo buraco é trincheira" (In times of war, all holes are trenches) - When you're so horny and/or needy, you're willing to hook up with just about anybody.

"Vai ver se eu tô na esquina" (See if I'm at the street corner) - Get out of my face and stop annoying me.

"É de cair o cu da bunda" (It makes your asshole drop out of your butt cheeks) - Denotes an incredibly absurd and stupid situation.

"Essa Coca é Fanta" (That Coke's a Fanta) - That guy is very obviously gay.

"Não acerta um chute nem no arco-íris" (Can't score a goal through the rainbow) - For people with terrible aim at anything; Equivalent to "can't shoot the broad side of a barn"

 

[D_Tractor]

"nigger-lip" (verb) - to make something wet with saliva, usually a shared marijuana joint.

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

"Find a fire and go die in it." Not sure of the origin but it's like a double dong of wishing someone ill will

"It's not rocket surgery." Canadian saying, originated by Don Cherry and popularized by the Trailer Park Boys

"Cooler than 4 dead penguins" Origin unknown, but penguins are already cool due to the climate they live in and presumably once they die they get even colder. Not multiply that by 4 just because, and you've now expressed something as very, very cool I guess

"Gayer than 3 dudes fucking" Similar to the above, but different in all the obvious ways.

"You can't get her mouth pregnant" My dear old grandpa gave me this advice when I was a teenager. Shoutout to Gramps

 

[AMHOLIO]

I keep notes of interesting or funny things I read on the farms. So these are all stolen from other users without attribution, just copy and paste them into search if you need to give someone a good sticker.

Quoted from various posts:

they’re just falling over themselves to make sure they get an honorable mention in the suicide note.

In all fairness once you shove that third dead hooker into a crawlspace you don't really qualify as an incel anymore

Your website is full of the people you've convinced yourself you've locked outside of the big iron Gates of your church.

It might be progress, but only in the same way a malignant tumor progresses from stage 1 to stage 4.

Some people don't deserve their expiration date, most deserve one much sooner.

He is successful in life, but not successful at life, and that is why he is miserable.

anyone should know that you shouldn't address hate; as soon as you do, people will start to learn what gets under your skin.

he seems to be a professional at not shutting the fuck up ever.

Don't listen to the barnacle, it's a parasite with a big opening and little else.

The ATF may shoot your dog, but the IRS will shoot your soul.

If your only means to define yourself or relate to the world is dictated by emptiness, there’s no choice but to take from others.

If she would only talk about things she is qualified to speak about, she would be forever silent.

The other major problem with John's middle of the road schtick is, as my grandfather used to say, "trying to be in the middle of the road just means you get hit from both lanes",

The answer depends on the number of beers currently in my system. You're at the mercy of my booze RNG, tranny. Sucks to be you.

 

[Carlos Thin]

"If there was work on the bed, he'd sleep on the floor." Laziness
"Only whores make money in bed." When you overslept
"Up and down like a whore's knickers." Indecisiveness/uneveness
"One sniff of the barmaid's apron." -- the smallest amount of alcohol which will lead to mischief

 

[ChompChomp]

"They look like a couple of monkeys trying to fuck a banana." - Said when some new workers or idiots are bungling a task.

"All books, no smarts." - How I describe myself.

"No looks or smarts." - How others describe me.

Busy as a bee - this means you are very busy.
Busy as a beaver - this means you are very busy.

Bee as a beaver - This means you make a dam hive.

Beaver as a bee - This means we should run and hide because there's a flying, stinging rodent that's chucking lumber everywhere and killing all the flowers.

 

[Chad Holdenford]

A few more, because I love sharing these little pieces of vulgar Brazilian kitsch and street wisdom.

"Vai procurar marido!" (Go seek a husband!) - Told to women as a way for them to leave and stop being annoying.

"Vai trabalhar, vagabundo!" (Get a job, you bum!) - Same as above, but for men.

"Taca a mãe pra ver se quica" (Toss your mom and see if she bounces) - Affirmed when someone pelts you with something.

"Procurando sarna pra se coçar" (Seeking mange to scratch yourself to) - Seeking problems just for the sake of complaining about them.

"Está gozando com o pau dos outros" (They're cumming with other people's dicks) - When you claim credit for other people's accomplishments.

"Aos 45 do segundo tempo" (At 45 of the second half) - At the very last minute; Refers to the final minute of the last half of a football match.

"Caga rodando de cu pra cima" (Takes a shit while spinning and pointing his ass upward) - Description for absolutely crazy people.

"Esse tá chamando urubu de meu lôro" (That one is calling vultures as polly parrots)
"Esse tá chamando Jesus de Genésio" (That one is calling Jesus as Genésio)
"Esse tá pra lá de Bagdá" (That one went beyond Baghdad)
Descriptions for drunken people way past the limit.

"Mais feio que briga de foice no escuro" (Uglier than a scythe fight in the dark)
"Mais feio que o Cão chupando manga" (Uglier than Satan sucking on a sour mango)
"Mais feio que bater na mãe" (Uglier than beating your own mom)
"Mais feio que encoxar a mãe na igreja" (Uglier than humping on your mom at the church)
Self-explanatory.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Ants in your pants - pubic lice.

 

[GloriousScarf]

"Acting the maggot" - being an idiot
"As useful as a chocolate teapot" - self explanatory
"They still have their communion money" - they're cheap

 

[Chad Holdenford]

A few more, this time from Chile and possibly a few other places across Latin America.

"Peor es mascar lauchas" (Chewing on mice is worse) - When a situation is bad, but not hopelessly so.

"Otra cosa es con guitarra" (It's another thing with a guitar) - Affirmed after doing or saying something different from before, usually after adding an element that wasn't there previously.

"Se me cayó el carnet" (I dropped my wallet) - Felt nostalgic.

"Se comió todos los completos" (They ate all the hotdogs) - Put on a lot of weight.

"Se hace el Larry" (He's playing Larry) - Pretends they didn't see, say or do anything in certain situations. May or may not refer to Larry Fine from the Three Stooges, the "least active" of the trio.

"Lo hizo con el chancho tirado al ombro" (They did it with a pig laying down on their shoulders) - They did something remarkable despite pressing difficulties.

"Tápenlo con diario!" (Cover it in newspaper!) - When something is completely and irreversibly finished. It's a reference to how people back in the day covered the bodies of dead people (usually run over or murder victims) in loose newspaper sheets while the coroners didn't pick them up. Equivalent to "Stick a fork in it, it's done.

"Marca Chancho" (Chancho Brand) - Generic crappy brand. Refers to the cheapest ciggie brand available back in the 1950's or so, when everyone and their dogs smoked. Equivalent to "Brand X."

"Aunque la mona se vista de seda, mona queda" (Even if the monkey wears silk dresses, she's still a monkey) - You can't hide a person's problems, especially physical ones.

"Te estás subiendo por el chorro" (You're climbing the tap water flow) - You're exaggerating and going way overboard.

"Estás haciendo teatro" (You're performing theater) - You're just pretending, and we can see through it.

"Hablas puras cabezas de pescado" (You're spewing fish-heads) - You're not making sense; alternatively, you're not adding anything relevant to a conversation.

"Más duro que infancia en Gaza" (Harder than childhood in the Gaza strip) - Self-explanatory.

"Es de cartón" (They're made of cardboard) - Visibly fake, dishonest person.

 

[We Are The Witches]

- "Tits up."

I think it's used when you end up in a bad situation, similar to how when landing upside down, specially for females, the breasts would fall towards the head.

- "Más seco que los cojones de Jesucristo."

I swear I've heard this from someone (maybe it used another vulgar term instead?), but it's not a common saying. It literally translates to "drier than Christ's testicles", to say that something is very dry.

 

[pippy]

I like "A two at ten is a ten at two."

 

[Red Saltire]

A colloquialism about something being tall or deep I heard once and never forgot:

“The snow was asshole deep to a 9 foot Indian.”

 

[CryoRevival #SJ-112]

"As sincere as a get well card from an undertaker" - casting doubt on sincerity

Couple of my favorite rules of acquisition from Star Trek:

#49 - "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife" - Beware people approaching your in an overly friendly manner, they want something from you.

#59 - "Free advice is seldom cheap" - Advice given always serves the interests of the giver, not the receiver.

#109 - "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack" - Moral victories are hollow and worthless, only results matter. Or as the dear leader would say:

"How do you win chat? You Win By Winning!"

#208 - "Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer" - The answers to some questions are too terrible/shitty to be given.

#217 - "You can't free a fish from water" - You can't set someone free if they don't know they are imprisoned.

 

[Uncle Tom's Condo]

Beats a sharp stick to the eye - Said when it wasn't the best outcome but it could have been a lot worse.

Nigger-rigging - Redneck engineering to fix or rig something with duct tape or zip ties and a possibly elevated blood alcohol content.

Pate chinois - What the Quebecois call shepherds pie. Not really a saying but I've never seen a chinaman make shepherds pie.

Bless your hear - As mentioned above, it's such a versatile phrase.

Fair to middling. - Used to be, may still be idk, a grade of cotton. Used to say that you're doing okay - nothing great, nothing terrible.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

"You dating?" Or "Wanna party?" - Asking a prostitute if she wishes to engage in sexual acts for money

 

[We Are The Witches]

- "Estás como una regadera."

Translates to something like "you are like a watering can", to express that they're crazy or not making any sense.

 

[the khat quaffer]

The turd doesn't fall far from the faggot's ass.

You're only as good as your last envelope.

Within spittin' distance.

There's no more scraps in my scrapbook.

"I'm lookin' to buy a boat, wit 'tree propellers" - when annoying salespeople come ask me if I need help with anything, particularly if I'm clearly already looking at something anyways. bitch i did my research already before coming in

"Playing with my ____, is like playing with my emotions" - don't fuck with my ____.

Spend all your time trying to get everyone to like you, you'll wind up the most popular corpse in town.

"I need a(nother) ___ like I need a hole in the head." - ___ is bad.

 

[Ventrue]

"In vino veritas." - In wine, truth.

"Away with the fairies." - Day dreaming.

"Bob’s your uncle." - And there you have it.

"Plant your excuses in the ground and see if they grow." - Dishonesty gains nothing.

"Been running all over hell's half acre." - Being busy.

"Could start an argument in an empty house." - Being mad.

"Squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams." - Being cheap.

"Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash." - Being broke.

"Those pants were so tight I could see your religion." - Dressed too scantily.

"Crying like a two dollar whore that broke a three dollar nail." - I heard this from a classic black and white film when I was a kid.

 

[radicalradishranger]

In Newcastle, England we say "get wrong" instead of getting into trouble.