Futbol thread.

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Magical moment
Top club - There two around one certain match. The first one when Feyernord scored the 3:3, the second when Guardialo showed up with a bruised face after the match.
Other - A few weeks ago an Union Berlin fan threw a fire lighter at the goalkeeper of Bochum. It's the moment itself but also the whole shitshow that ensued. First the tv cameras don't reveal really if the fire lighter hit the Bochum player or not. He got "hit"/hit, moved a around for a few more moments and then went down. The Union fans immediately chanted for him to stop faking and to get up. The way he was brought of the pitch looked so overdramatic. The game got interrupted for like 20 minutes until the ref decided to continue the match. The incident happened at the end of the match and ther where only 2-3 mins left to play and it was a 1:1. So the ref decided to let the teams play the last minutes but none of the teams actually played. They where just passing around the ball as a sign of protest. Literally noone realized that the teams where actually continuing the match. Nor the fans nor anyone on commentary and suddendly the match ended. There was allegedly a lot of verbal shit flinging between the teams during the breack in the catacombs and after the match. People bashed heads on social media over the question if the goalkeeper was faking it or not. Until that match Bochum had only 1 point with zero wins but it's very likely that the DFL will hand over them their first win at the green table. I have seen quite a few people flinging stuff at players and shit but I have never seen such a circus show before. Hilarious.

Surprise player
Top club - no idea, don't really follow at lot of the top clubs that close
Other - Obviously Omar Marmoush from Frankfurt. 15 matches played in Bundesliga, 13 goals, 7 assists.

Over achiever
Top club - ???
Other - 11th in their national league but 7th in Champions League it has to be Brest. And the top of the CL league, except Liverpool, is pretty close together. Barcelona is 2nd and only 2 points away from Brest.

Under achiever
Top clubs - Manchester, both of them
Other - TSG Hoffenheim. Was going for Wolfsburg first bc they have the back-up of an international multi million corporation but Hoffenheim is dowing worse and they have the back-up of a single billionaire. For decades now. At the moment they are 15th with 14 points. That's 4 points ahead of the first relegation spot. The whole club is a shitshow at the moment. They only made it to the Euro League bc Germany got the extra Champions League spot which shaked up the rankings. Where are they ranked there? 26th meaning they wouldn't get to the play off round.

Best Manager
Top - Easy, the Liverpool guy. Dominates the prem and the champions league.
Other - Xabi Alonso from Leverkusen. They struggled a bit at the beginning of the season which led to Bayern kind of running away and Uli Hoeneß already declaring his FC Bayern to be this seasons champions only for Leverkusen to bounce back and closing the gap up to 4 points at the moment. In Champions League Leverkusen is 4th. Alonso's Leverkusen lost only 3 matches overall in 2024. They won their 1st Bundesliga championship with an unbeaten streak and got the double too and only lost the Euro League final (against an excellent Atalanta) so the bar for Alonso is quite fucking high and they still haven't fallen off really (2nd in Bundesliga, one of the top teams in Champions League and still in DFB cup competition and top favourite to win it).

Worst Manager
Top - Easy, Ten Hag. Only top team guy who got fired during the season and didn't even made it 'til the winter break.
Other - Don't really know much about any lower table teams in other leagues so I'll go with Bo Svensson from Union Berlin. Svensson took over at Union this summer. You might remember that Union was the surprise team in Bundesliga 2 seasons ago where they managed to qualify directly for Champions League. Then last season happend where Union racked up a huge loss streak which got them kicked out of the Champions League group and made them not even reach the Euro League knock off rounds, got them kicked out of DFB cup very early and got them involved with the relegation. Their long time coach who led them from 2. Bundesliga to Bundesliga and within four seasons to Champions League stepped down during the season and Union ended the season ranked 15th and no coach. Svensson took over and stabilized the club - 'til he started a no-win-streak. Their last win was at the end of October. Since then Union got kicked out of DFB cup by a 3rd tier club and is spiraling down. Svensson got fired yesterday. It's even worse bc Svensson stepped down at Mainz last season during the season. Right now Mainz is ranked 5th.

Best team
Top - Liverpool
Other - Atalanta Bergamo. Won the Euro League in the summer and are currently top team in La Liga.

Worst team
Top - Easy, Manchester United.
Other - Southhampton. 6 points like Bochum but only bc Bochum hasn't got rewarded the win against Union (see above).

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Other - Obviously Omar Marmoush from Frankfurt. 15 matches played in Bundesliga, 13 goals, 7 assists.

Was considering him as my surprise player. But Atalanta doing so well with an AC Milan reject was too good. Surprised you didn't pick Olise for top club

TSG Hoffenheim. Was going for Wolfsburg first bc they have the back-up of an international multi million corporation but Hoffenheim is dowing worse and they have the back-up of a single billionaire. For decades now. At the moment they are 15th with 14 points. That's 4 points ahead of the first relegation spot. The whole club is a shitshow at the moment. They only made it to the Euro League bc Germany got the extra Champions League spot which shaked up the rankings. Where are they ranked there? 26th meaning they wouldn't get to the play off round.

This is an interesting shout. Its so hard to pick underachiever with everyone else because there can be so many to pick from

Xabi Alonso from Leverkusen.

I didn't want to include him as a pick of mine and I think its just due to comparing him to last year

Bo Svensson from Union Berlin.

Never would have thought about him

Atalanta Bergamo. Won the Euro League in the summer and are currently top team in La Liga.

*Serie A

 

[Monkey Shoulder]

Saw the first half of MUFC - NUFC.
Then I went for a 2 hour long angry walk.
It was a pleasant surprise to see that there somehow ended 0-2 though.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Saw the first half of MUFC - NUFC.
Then I went for a 2 hour long angry walk.
It was a pleasant surprise to see that there somehow ended 0-2 though.

I hate what Amorin is doing. How dare he show United fans how bad their squad really is. He should do what the other managers did, play the best system that makes this shitty team appear decent for about 2-3 years so the board and fans think they are only a few players away from being good again instead of a full on retool and find themselves in the same situation this year with Amorin that they were with Ten Hag

 

[Chad Holdenford]

Made a round-up of last year in South American footy because why not, I'm bored and on break from work.

ARGENTINA
Domestic Champions - Estudiantes de La Plata (Copa de La Liga) and Velez Sarsfield (Liga Profesional)
Cup Champion - Central Córdoba de Santiago del Estero
Relegated - None.*
Promoted - Aldosivi and San Martín de San Juan.
* - Thanks to Chiqui Tapia's fuckery already documented in this thread, there were no relegations this season.

BOLIVIA
Domestic Champion - Bolívar
Cup Champion - Club ABB
Relegated* - Real Santa Cruz
Promoted - Club ABB (For winning the Copa Simón Bolívar).
* - Royal Parí won a special playoff game against Copa Simon Bolívar's runners-up Real Oruro and thus remained in the top division.

BRAZIL
Domestic Champion - Botafogo
Cup Champion - Flamengo
Relegated - Athletico Paranaense, Atlético Goianiense, Cuiabá and Criciúma.
Promoted - Santos, Mirassol, Sport Recife and Ceará.

CHILE
Domestic Champion - Colo Colo
Cup Champion - Universidad de Chile
Relegated - Cobreloa and Copiapó
Promoted - La Serena and Deportes Limache

COLOMBIA
Domestic Champions - Atlético Bucaramanga (Apertura) and Atlético Nacional (Finalización)
Cup Champion - Atlético Nacional
Relegated** - Jaguares and Atlético Huila.
Promoted - Unión Magdalena* and Llaneros.
* - Unión Magdalena had been relegated on Apertura, but promoted back on Clausura.
** - Patriotas de Boyacá were promoted on Apertura, but relegated once more on Clausura.

ECUADOR
Domestic Champion - Liga de Quito
Cup Champion - El Nacional
Relegated - Imbabura and Cumbayá.
Promoted - Cuniburo* and Manta.
* - Renamed Vinotinto after the end of the season.

PARAGUAY
Domestic Champions - Libertad (Apertura) and Olimpia (Clausura)
Cup Champion - Libertad
Relegated - Guaireña and Resistencia.
Promoted - Sol de América and 2 de Mayo.

PERU
Domestic Champion - Universitario
Cup Champion - N/A
Relegated - UCV, Unión Comércio and Carlos Manucci.
Promoted - Comerciantes Unidos and Los Chankas.

URUGUAY
Domestic Champion - Peñarol
Cup Champion - Defensor
Relegated - Montevideo City Torque, La Luz and Plaza Colonia.
Promoted - Rampla Juniors, Progreso and Miramar Misiones.

VENEZUELA
Domestic Champion - Deportivo Táchira
Cup Champion - Deportivo La Guaíra
Relegated - Inter de Barinas
Promoted - Yaracuyanos

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Surprised you didn't pick Olise for top club

Probably bc he fell a tiny little bit of in the last 2-3 Bayern matches but he'd be a candidate for sure. But then he'd have to beat Salah. Just looked a bit at stats from a few of the top clubs and yeah, Mo Salah. 18 matches so far and got 30 scorer points (17 goals, 13 assist). If he can keep it up til the end of the season he it's going to be one of the top 3 season ever and of all time around the globe.

This is an interesting shout. Its so hard to pick underachiever with everyone else because there can be so many to pick from

True, true, there are quite a few candidates for the underachiever category. Given the name and reputation you have to name AC Milan and Juventus. I guess AS Roma isn't really that happy with how they are doing at the moment (or they wouldn't have already kicked out their coach). Then there are the two absolutely obvious picks from Manchester. If there is one a club in Bundesliga who could have a chance to keep it up with Prem clubs and their spending then it's Hoffenheim. They are financed by a billionaire and given how much money has been spent for decades now they should be at least a top 6 club on a regular basis.

I didn't want to include him as a pick of mine and I think its just due to comparing him to last year

The bar is just too damn high for Alonso bc of the last season. Another coach would be Hürzeler from Brighton.

Never would have thought about him

Probably bc Union Berlin runs under the radar of non-Germans
But tbh I only chose him bc he got fired the day before and I didn't want to say Ten Hag haha

*Serie A

"Mailand oder Madrid, Hauptsache Italien."
(Milan or Madrid, as long as it's Italy)
- Andreas Möller (he ended up at Juventus)


In other news. The Spanish federation is denying Olmo to play for Barca for the second half of the season bc of how fucking broke Barca is lol

 

[DoubleMint]

* - Royal Parí won a special playoff game against Copa Simon Bolívar's runners-up Real Oruro and thus remained in the top division.

It's a home and away
Royal parí won 4-0 first leg
Real oruro was winning 3-0 the second leg and got a penalty but before they took it Royal parí left the match.
Not sure what shenanigans are happening in the Bolivian federation but as far as I know, the situation hasn't been resolved

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

It's a home and away
Royal parí won 4-0 first leg
Real oruro was winning 3-0 the second leg and got a penalty but before they took it Royal parí left the match.
Not sure what shenanigans are happening in the Bolivian federation but as far as I know, the situation hasn't been resolved

I love stories like these. Just showing how corrupt these FA's are and then remembering they get a vote in FIFA elections while FIFA pretends they aren't incredibly corrupt

 

[DoubleMint]

I love stories like these

Thats how low level leagues (and some big level ones) are, a lot of things happen when a team doesn't want relegation. From buying a spot from a promoted team, making another team get a point deduction after the league ended, to literally cancelling relegations (Argentina, and Mexico biggest examples of this, there are also Leagues that simply never had a prom/rel system to begin with)

 

[Chad Holdenford]

It's a home and away
Royal parí won 4-0 first leg
Real oruro was winning 3-0 the second leg and got a penalty but before they took it Royal parí left the match.
Not sure what shenanigans are happening in the Bolivian federation but as far as I know, the situation hasn't been resolved

Oh, you're right.
Royal Parí literally abandoned the match because this way they would be given a walk-over, and those are "only" 3-0 defeats, which locks them in the result needed to remain in Primera Divisón. Now that is next-level trolling!

However, the Bolivian Football Federation is still analyzing the case. In normal circumstances, they would be relegated and heavily punished in the following season, but this being a South American fed, this will either drag on for far more time than needed and hinder the beginning of the championships, or get some degree of slap on the wrist.

Thats how low level leagues (and some big level ones) are, a lot of things happen when a team doesn't want relegation. From buying a spot from a promoted team, making another team get a point deduction after the league ended, to literally cancelling relegations (Argentina, and Mexico biggest examples of this, there are also Leagues that simply never had a prom/rel system to begin with)

Even here in Brazil it happens something like that once in a while.
Not too long ago, Fluminense was supposed to be relegated, but then they very suspiciously the Sports Court to call out Portuguesa for fielding a forbidden player or somesuch. The Court judged favorably for Fluminense and deducted Portuguesa's points from the matches where said player started... And wouldn't you know it, those were just enough to relegate Portuguesa instead of Fluminense!

Mind you, there's even a meme regarding Fluminense and the second division: after getting relegated twice in two years, they bounced back and won Série C in 1999, but when they were supposed to play Série B in 2000, an incredibly convoluted mess happened between CBF and Clube dos 13 (an old union-like association of the top teams) which resulted in the organization of the messy Copa João Havelange. Long story short, Fluminense somehow came back to Série A without playing Série B. Rivals and neutrals alike love calling them out for these shenanigans. PAGUE A SÉRIE B!

Thankfully, CBF and clubs have learned their lesson and streamlined the organization and scheduling of competitions to avoid this kind of hullabaloo, but up until then, our leagues were just as retarded as the rest of Latin America when it came to define who won what and where. See also; who was the national champion in 1987.

 

[Officer Barbrady]

I hate what Amorin is doing. How dare he show United fans how bad their squad really is. He should do what the other managers did, play the best system that makes this shitty team appear decent for about 2-3 years so the board and fans think they are only a few players away from being good again instead of a full on retool and find themselves in the same situation

Ah, the ol' Ten Hag special, heh?



On a brighter note, hopefully there's light at the end of the tunn-

Fuck.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

In other news. The Spanish federation is denying Olmo to play for Barca for the second half of the season bc of how fucking broke Barca is lol

Both LaLiga and the RFEF are deniying Barcelona to register Olmo (and Pau Victor) for the second half of the season. Only option left now is CAS. Barcelona tried to sell some of their VIP lounges and sets to rich Arabs but failed.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Both LaLiga and the RFEF are deniying Barcelona to register Olmo (and Pau Victor) for the second half of the season. Only option left now is CAS. Barcelona tried to sell some of their VIP lounges and sets to rich Arabs but failed.

I wonder if this will be the thing that reveals to those socialists in Barcelona that you can't just keep spending money you don't have

 

[Anchors-Away]

"But everyone loves Barcelona!" - Barcelona staff probably

No, the plastics loved Messi and he's not playing for you anymore. Same situation happening now with PSG. They thought they could become a brand team, sold tons of shirts for a bit. Then Mbappé left and it's almost as if a void formed; with planned store expansions outside of France foreclosing. Plastics may consume without hesitation when you've got star power, but they aren't loyalists. I should know first hand. Brentford saw a small uptick in sales when Beckham's son joined our youth development system, a lot of random media attention for a few weeks. How many of those who brought said shirts regret it given he quit a year in and went the route of fashion?

It's not always star power either. Sometimes just having a regional player is enough. Honestly the day a team is able to actually have a viable Indonesian or one of these other sports hungry nations, the day that team will consume that countries entire outlook/culture.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Barcelona brought the case of Olmo (and Victor) before CSD (something like the Spanish CAS) and won. Olmo (and Victor) are allowed to play for Barcelona until a final decision will be made by the court - which can take months.

 

[Shining Wit]

Loptegui finally has his stay of execution finalised. Shame Sullivan isnt following him but small victories

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Barcelona brought the case of Olmo (and Victor) before CSD (something like the Spanish CAS) and won. Olmo (and Victor) are allowed to play for Barcelona until a final decision will be made by the court - which can take months.

Honestly, just let Barcelona go bankrupt. If they want to keep throwing money they don't have at mediocre players while they try to compete with the Madrid teams who have built well oiled machines, then let them collapse. Its not in the Spanish FA's best interest for it to happen but that's what should be happening

 

[Officer Barbrady]

Loptegui finally has his stay of execution finalised. Shame Sullivan isnt following him but small victories

Now to see if Potter was just out of his depth with the huge squad at Chelsea or if he's just an average manager in general. I miss his Brighton spell.

 

[Shining Wit]

Now to see if Potter was just out of his depth with the huge squad at Chelsea or if he's just an average manager in general. I miss his Brighton spell.

I think any manager would have struggled in the mayhem at Chelsea back then. Hell, Poch only started getting it sorted about a year into his stay before choosing to leave. Maresca inherited what Poch built but even now the wheels are falling off for him

 

[blahblahblah678]

I wonder if this will be the thing that reveals to those socialists in Barcelona that you can't just keep spending money you don't have

The day Barcelona faces financial sanctions is the day Real Madrid faces financial sanctions.

Now to see if Potter was just out of his depth with the huge squad at Chelsea or if he's just an average manager in general. I miss his Brighton spell.

I miss his Swansea spell. They’ve been aimlessly drifting since his departure.