Games Journalism General

[Judge Dredd]

Univision selling the Gawker assets should have been a huge warning for everyone who worked there, though. They bought the Gawker assets in liquidation/a fire sale for ~$135,000,000 only to sell them years later for ~$50,000,000 (allegedly) - essentially meaning that Univision essentially paid $85,000,000 to get Kotaku off of their hands. If your former owner is willing to take a $85,000,000 hit to get rid of you - chances are you aren't making money and the new company doesn't think very highly of you.

I imagine when they say saw that, they said to themselves "Wow, I'm worth over a million dollars!".

 

[Water-T]

If anyone does go trawling, look for a Kotaku article where they had their readers ask a porn star a bunch of questions, one of which being what she thought the "right amount" of pubes present for a blowjob should be. I vividly remember that article and I wanna say it was around 2010 or up to 2013. The comments are probably long gone but I do remember people back then going "wtf does this have to do with games?" and "why should we listen to or take seriously the opinions of someone who literally gargles cock for a living?"

I would try entering "Patricia Hernandez" into the site's search engine. Whenever there was an article on Kotaku that read like it was typed up by a 10 year old boy who just discovered porn on the internet, 98% of the time it was written by Pussy Poppin' Patty. Then after she left, Heather Alexandria tried picking up the OH ME SO HORNY slack.

EDIT: The "DEADSPIN DEATH WATCH" carries on - Drew Magary, one of the biggest douchebags under Denton's watch - just resigned yesterday. Diana Moskovitz also gave her two week resignation about a week ago, and just put up an "article" called "Was Deadspin a good sports blog?" with only the word "yes" in it (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You fucking wish, Diana). And of course, Barry Petchesky got his walking papers recently.

Any bets on how much longer before GO Media just nukes the whole staff from orbit and hires all new people?

 

[AnOminous]

Diana Moskovitz also gave her two week resignation about a week ago, and just put up an "article" called "Was Deadspin a good sports blog?" with only the word "yes" in it (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You fucking wish, Diana).

You have to love the sheer level of bubble delusion these people live in where in the face of jeering mobs spitting on their corpse and dragging it through the street while cheering their demise, they still think they're actually popular.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

Petty much exactly as I predicted. As soon as wokeshit stops being profitable capitalists will drop it

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The system works.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

So... will the rats fleeing from the sinking ship go to another site or start their own?

As fun as this is, I think I'd rather have these hacks contained to just Kotaku rather than spread out anywhere is.

 

[Marissa Moira]

So... will the rats fleeing from the sinking ship go to another site or start their own?

As fun as this is, I think I'd rather have these hacks contained to just Kotaku rather than spread out anywhere is.

I think they're just going to die off. I mean I'd say a good 41% of them will at least.

 

[SiccDicc]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The system works.

Which is why they keep trying to take up positions to change the system.

 

[Water-T]

Whelp, looks like all the trash took itself out.

Deadspin's entire editorial staff has now quit

Right now, these mongoloids are waiting by the phone, thinking: "Any minute now, they're going to beg for us to come back, but i'm not accepting unless they triple my pay because I AM WORTH IT!"



Come on, Kotakuites: don't you want to get in on that action too?

 

[Secret Asshole]

This is insane. They could hire literally any half-dozen randos who vote for the All-Star Game lineup and get a reasonably competent sports site. How the hell do they keep getting sports editors who don't give a shit about sports?

Because reporters for ESPN or even local papers work really hard and have to gain the trust of very rich people and have to be incredibly social and nuanced to build up contacts. A lot of money rides on sports reporting, for 2 reasons: the insane fandom and the gambling industry. Sports reporters need to know their shit, because bookies and other degenerates rely on their info for placing bets.

The problem is competent sports reporters are actually one of the entertainment reporters that are really valuable. Some make $150k a year. You could hire 3-4 fucking idiots for that price since you're basically running a gossip blog. The problem is, anyone remotely competent will not work at a tabloid, so you get idiots who think they're more valuable than their worth.

They need to cut the cancer out at the root and axe HR then hire some exec with a penchant for dropping the axe, and mercilessly go through every property, going full exterminatus on every one. Not a single non-naturally occurring color should be atop the head of any employee when they're done.

They should put the entire salary of the editorial staff towards on ex-football player 6'7", 300 pound black dude. A literal HR bouncer. Just cracking skulls and making people piss themselves because he'll instantly fire anyone for stepping out of line.

You have to love the sheer level of bubble delusion these people live in where in the face of jeering mobs spitting on their corpse and dragging it through the street while cheering their demise, they still think they're actually popular.

The fact that they are so loathed is lost on them. Nobody cares that they're losing their jobs. They got these jobs because they're the bottom of the fucking barrel.

So... will the rats fleeing from the sinking ship go to another site or start their own?

As fun as this is, I think I'd rather have these hacks contained to just Kotaku rather than spread out anywhere is.

I've said it before, these writers are literal bottom of the barrel. You get a job at Gawker because the Inquirer has higher editorial standards. And that's not a joke. These are literally the worst people you can hire, excepting giving a crackhead a laptop and telling him to do gaming reporting. There basically half a step above that, just because they won't pawn the laptop.

The funny thing is, progressive rags are shrinking by the day. Huffpost is being sold. Salon is shrinking. Vice's Waypoint are like two people masturbating to each other. Polygon is at capacity. The Mary Sue can barely afford to pay anybody. There's nowhere for them to go. Also, without a red-pilled investor who cares about money, they can't start their own. Look at that dumb drunk bitch that tried to start her own site. The one who was drunk on the Giant Bomb podcast and is a chronic alcoholic. She tried to start one, I think it was relevant for six months before she left gaming.

Feminist Frequency is done with gaming and bankrupt. They're fleeing a sinking ship into a toxic waste dump. All because of a memo "Keep your political shit out. Our audience wants sports. Clickbait isn't working. Also, Kotaku, what the fuck is it with you posting an article with unedited pictures of videogame porn of minors. We had to calm every advertiser on our network down. Stop it."

Then they lost their mind and all got fired.

Whelp, looks like all the trash took itself out.

Deadspin's entire editorial staff has now quit

Right now, these mongoloids are waiting by the phone, thinking: "Any minute now, they're going to beg for us to come back, but i'm not accepting unless they triple my pay because I AM WORTH IT!"



Come on, Kotakuites: don't you want to get in on that action too?

Kotaku is next. Deadspin is being made an example of. Their unions are not worth the charter their printed on and the management will wipe their ass with them. If Kotaku is smart, they'll shut the fuck up and get in like G/O are going to make a very public example out of Deadspin. But people at Kotaku are fucking stupid, so they won't get the message, so yeah, they'll be next.

Jason Schrier is the only one who has any hope of getting anything, and that's maybe a token videogame writer for the Atlantic or Forbes. The day where he's a video game site editor is over unless Kotaku survives. Because anything they start will fail, because no one read them except for name recognition.

The only worth Deadspin and Kotaku have are brand names. The only 'writer' barely worth anything is Schrier. Everything else is completely expendable.

 

[AnOminous]

They should put the entire salary of the editorial staff towards on ex-football player 6'7", 300 pound black dude. A literal HR bouncer. Just cracking skulls and making people piss themselves because he'll instantly fire anyone for stepping out of line.

Even if he was a halfback with the lowest Wonderlic score ever recorded he would probably be a better writer than most of their staff too.

 

[Water-T]

All because of a memo "Keep your political shit out. Our audience wants sports. Clickbait isn't working. Also, Kotaku, what the fuck is it with you posting an article with unedited pictures of videogame porn of minors. We had to calm every advertiser on our network down. Stop it."

I have been wondering about that lately. Were the editors high on drugs that day, or was that done on purpose as sabotage to scare off the new investors into selling them back to Univision/backing out of the deal? Because I get the feeling that the Gawkertards would have rather stayed with the owners that let the monkey run the zoo instead of a set of serious owners like GO Media.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

Jason Schrier is the only one who has any hope of getting anything, and that's maybe a token videogame writer for the Atlantic or Forbes. The day where he's a video game site editor is over unless Kotaku survives. Because anything they start will fail, because no one read them except for name recognition.

I think even his worth is debatable. He may have connections and even a few good articles to his name, but he's also the guy who should have been doing his job and telling morons like Maddy Myers to knock it off (or not hire them to begin with). So either he was an incompetent editor or he was just as involved with Kotaku's bullshit as the rest of the staff. Couple that with his antagonistic relationship with readers on Twitter or in the comments section, I think anyone looking for a video game reporter should look elsewhere.

However, he's likely to end up somewhere after all this just because of his connections.

 

[SiccDicc]

I think even his worth is debatable. He may have connections and even a few good articles to his name, but he's also the guy who should have been doing his job and telling morons like Maddy Myers to knock it off (or not hire them to begin with). So either he was an incompetent editor or he was just as involved with Kotaku's bullshit as the rest of the staff. Couple that with his antagonistic relationship with readers on Twitter or in the comments section, I think anyone looking for a video game reporter should look elsewhere.

However, he's likely to end up somewhere after all this just because of his connections.

I'm willing to wager he had interns find scoops for him and he just took the credit. That entire environment reeks of pecking order and who gets to claim what to write about.

 

[Judge Dredd]

I would try entering "Patricia Hernandez" into the site's search engine. Whenever there was an article on Kotaku that read like it was typed up by a 10 year old boy who just discovered porn on the internet, 98% of the time it was written by Pussy Poppin' Patty. Then after she left, Heather Alexandria tried picking up the OH ME SO HORNY slack.

Was she the one that tried writing a book about her favourite video game butts, and got people like Ashens to contribute? I remember that book being mentioned at every other game twitter and news site, but I don't remember it ever being released. I assume it was, I just never cared enough to confirm it.

I think even his worth is debatable. He may have connections and even a few good articles to his name, but he's also the guy who should have been doing his job and telling morons like Maddy Myers to knock it off (or not hire them to begin with). So either he was an incompetent editor or he was just as involved with Kotaku's bullshit as the rest of the staff. Couple that with his antagonistic relationship with readers on Twitter or in the comments section, I think anyone looking for a video game reporter should look elsewhere.

However, he's likely to end up somewhere after all this just because of his connections.

There is a BdobbinsFTW video where he lays out a fairly convincing theory that Schriers most famous article (the Destiny one) was handed to him as a form of damage control.

I mentioned before that people keep telling me there are lots of quality Kotaku articles, but the same handful come up again and again. Destiny, Anthem, recently someone told me they did a great article about a lost Sailor Moon episode. But for every high quality article, I can name 2 or even 3 pieces of clickbait trash they put out.

 

[Secret Asshole]

I have been wondering about that lately. Were the editors high on drugs that day, or was that done on purpose as sabotage to scare off the new investors into selling them back to Univision/backing out of the deal? Because I get the feeling that the Gawkertards would have rather stayed with the owners that let the monkey run the zoo instead of a set of serious owners like GO Media.

Neither. They're narcissistic cunts who have had complete control for so long they're not used to someone demanding they make money. Since nobody was ever really fired they acted like children and threw a tantrum, not thinking there were any consequences.

They don't care that the valuation of the properties has sunk so deep into the Earth the only value to them is the name recognition. That nobody knows who these writers and editors are. That they've spent so long cultivating clickbait that they don't have a real, established audience of any worth.

They are basically in the worst position possible for negotiation. They've never had any expectations fostered on them so they act like children. Too bad they can all be liquidated and replaced by another clone.

I think even his worth is debatable. He may have connections and even a few good articles to his name, but he's also the guy who should have been doing his job and telling morons like Maddy Myers to knock it off (or not hire them to begin with). So either he was an incompetent editor or he was just as involved with Kotaku's bullshit as the rest of the staff. Couple that with his antagonistic relationship with readers on Twitter or in the comments section, I think anyone looking for a video game reporter should look elsewhere.

However, he's likely to end up somewhere after all this just because of his connections.

True. He's still trash which is why I put it in quotes. He's the only one who is going to land because of his connections. But I highly doubt he'll ever be a managing editor ever again.

 

[Belligerent Monk]

So I popped by the manufactured outrage machine we know as Kotaku to see if shit's changed. After all I was hearing word that Deadspin actually looks like a sports reporting site now.

I look at the headlines and, to my surprise, there weren't any painfully obvious rage-click titles.
Hey what's this? Blizz announces Diablo 4? Cool lemme peep that right quick.
This is literally the second sentence: "A new cinematic trailer for the game showed a group of treasure hunters fighting against what could be demons, or private equity executives."

OFC that faggot Schreier couldn't even help himself.
And all the top comments are filled with other faggots saying they'd actually subscribe or otherwise honor a paywall to continue reading this bullshit. You've gotta actually look to find anyone discussing the fucking game.

These fucking people can't be purged fast enough. What's sad is you can glet a lot more game news out of GameFAQs, of all places, than this rag.

 

[Dreamland]

So I popped by the manufactured outrage machine we know as Kotaku to see if shit's changed. After all I was hearing word that Deadspin actually looks like a sports reporting site now.

I look at the headlines and, to my surprise, there weren't any painfully obvious rage-click titles.
Hey what's this? Blizz announces Diablo 4? Cool lemme peep that right quick.
This is literally the second sentence: "A new cinematic trailer for the game showed a group of treasure hunters fighting against what could be demons, or private equity executives."

Don't forget this gem!

You are right though, Deadspin isn't about sodomy and public defecation stories anymore. i can imagine they built quite the coprophiliac crowd over the years so they might lose out on revenue.

 

[Mola Ram]

Don't forget this gem!
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You are right though, Deadspin isn't about sodomy and public defecation stories anymore. i can imagine they built quite the coprophiliac crowd over the years so they might lose out on revenue.

It is possible, however difficult, to write a funny, intriguing article about an overpriced gaming chair. It would take a writer with a world of talent and a highly developed writing style.

This is not that article. This is not that writer.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Don't forget this gem!
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You are right though, Deadspin isn't about sodomy and public defecation stories anymore. i can imagine they built quite the coprophiliac crowd over the years so they might lose out on revenue.

It sounds like a girl wrote this article.

From the computer set up, to the bitching about having to lift 60 pounds, to the name Maddy. This is 100% fake gamer girl bullshit.

60 pounds is not a lot to lift up a flight of stairs. It's less than the weight of a person.

 

[Water-T]

Deadspin is still posting articles, but the byline just says "Deadspin".

Why, you may ask? Because shortly after Deadspin's staff bailed, an article was posted by freelancer writer Alan Goldsher, which led to him getting hate mobbed and taunted as a '"scab" (despite the fact that scabs are people hired to fill in for employees on strike, and all of Deadspin's staff didn't go on strike - they quit). As a result, he bent over and suddenly decided that giving in to hacks was more important than paying the rent.

Meanwhile, GO Media seemly forgot to change the passwords to Deadspin's Twitter account, because the shitgibbons that bailed are still posting on there like they own the fucking place.

The dudes running GO Media need to get their shit together, because they are letting a bunch of shitty hacks make them look like impotent morons.