Good things about Chris

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I can name a few:

1. He is rather persistent and diligent...when it comes to stalking girls he's never met before.
2. He's the reason for God's greatest gift of all...this forum!
3. He never fails to put a few smiles on peoples faces...when they look at the joke that is his life!
4. He's inspiring. No really, he inspires people to not be a complete and utter failure.
5. He's very intelligent and cunning...at least when it comes to cartoons, video games, and Sonichu!
6. He's brave and courageous...enough not to commit suicide at this point.
7. He had potential...the keyword being "had"!
8. At least he doesn't have a six-inch fox dick...unlike a certain failed defacer of his, who tried to troll shield himself by making shitty commentaries on him!
9. His magnum opus, The Yawning Squirtle. *yawn*
10. He's kind to everyone...even when it's clearly not asked for.
11. Let's not forget the fact he's a motherfucking Paperbender for Christ's sake!
12. Best of all, he's discovered the meaning of life...

Screen Shot 2017-08-10 at 1.07.19 AM.png


Step aside Hawkings, Fuck you Sagan, and go eat shit Dawkins, this guy's a fucking genius!
 
Last edited:
Chris has given me someone to completely despise with every fiber of my being. Every single night I wish nothing but for Chris to suffer the most agonizing fate. I've seen people get cut in half by a truck running over their midsection, I've seen people fall from the top of burning 30-story buildings, I've seen people wake up during surgery while being unable to move due to the anesthesia but still being completely aware of the doctors cutting up their insides with full awareness of the pain, I've seen people get cut in half by malfunctioning elevators, I've seen people with their arm trapped under a rock or a furnace being forced to agonizingly cut away their arm just to survive. The combined pain and trauma from these events isn't even one one-thousandth of what Chris deserves, it isn't even one one-quintillionth. It's estimated that our universe will live to 10^(10^76) years before it's reduced to nothing to black holes, and that is only a sliver of the time Chris deserves to suffer. Chris deserves to suffer infinitesimally, not simply until the end of time but until time has ended one one-hundred thousand million billion quintillion millennia to the power of infinity. I wish for nothing more with all of my being to see Chris wish not only that he was never born but that existence itself was never conceived so not one lifeform in all of exitence would have the power to even consider his existence. There are approximately 37.2 trillion cells that make up my person, if the word "hate" was engraved on each nanoangstrem of those hundreds of millions of cells it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for Chris at this micro-instant. Hate. Hate.
 
Chris has enough in common with lots of us that it legitimately annoys us when people A-Log him when they're actually worse than him because it's impossible not to root for him in a weird way. Or at least retain some lingering optimism that he might have a redemption arc in this story of his life.

We know it's bullshit. We know it will never happen. But this tiny, smashed, nearly dead hope still lingers on, like a dandelion growing out of a cracked sidewalk.
 
AnOminous said:
Chris has enough in common with lots of us that it legitimately annoys us when people A-Log him when they're actually worse than him because it's impossible not to root for him in a weird way. Or at least retain some lingering optimism that he might have a redemption arc in this story of his life.

We know it's bullshit. We know it will never happen. But this tiny, smashed, nearly dead hope still lingers on, like a dandelion growing out of a cracked sidewalk.
Click to expand...

Chris is creepy and weird but I think all of us can empathize with his search for companionship and wistful desire for childhood's return. I feel like all of us would legitimately feel happy for him if he completed his Love Quest for real.
 
He really sets the bar for horrifying internet content. Of all the gore, scat, or other ghastly shocking internet content I have come across either by accident or curiosity, few things have disturbed me more than:
-Chris Mixing his own cum with some fanta and then drinking it
-Chris videotaping himself having sex with that anime blow up doll
-That wierd cut he got on his taint that he never (to my knowledge) took care of

He is a pioneer and a pathfinder in those respects, but he goes places where I do not wish to follow.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom