Grammar and language issues that drive you utterly berserk - Pet peeves

[Troon_Patrol]

Anyone who uses the word "literally" incorrectly should be backhanded across the face. 9/10 times it's a low IQ belligerent woman.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

i am your worst nightmare.

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

Pacifically, instead of specifically. The word you said refers to an OCEAN, Toddler Brain.

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

This isn't written, but spoken: here in Bongland I've noticed that upwards of 95% of people in cafes will begin their request with 'can I get,' an entirely imported expression from across the pond.

I can't help but die inside whenever I hear it. I recall one girl, who, upon not being heard properly by the barista, had to repeat herself, saying 'yeah I'll get a...' sounding even more retarded than before.

Obviously if you're from the US, there's nothing wrong with this. For the women who say it here however (and it's almost exclusively women,) it immediately signifies they're so deep into American goyslop entertainment that it's altered how they speak, irreparably.

This actually pisses me off for several reasons.

 

[Flatline]

I can't help but die inside whenever I hear it.

What should they say instead?

 

[Car Won't Crank]

It grates me when people use "insure" and "ensure" interchangeably.

 

[eDove]

What should they say instead?

I think "may I" and "I'd like a" are technically acceptable whereas "can I" is not.

 

[Vecr]

It grates me when people use "insure" and "ensure" interchangeably.

I see professional writers do it, even ones that are supposed to have an editor. I thought it got better in the 2010s, but it looks like it's getting worse again. An editor can just grep --ignore-case on the instances and check the context, it's really easy, but apparently they don't.

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

What should they say instead?

“I’d like a ________.”

Ninja’d like a mofo by @eDove

 

[a hapless toad]

Please remember this is all heresy, which is rampant in regards to Kai.

heresy

• (religion) a doctrine held by a member of a religion at variance or conflict with established religious beliefs
• (by extension) A controversial or unorthodox opinion held by a member of a group, as in politics, philosophy or science.

hearsay

• Information that was heard by one person about another that cannot be adequately substantiated.
• (law) Evidence based on the reports of others, which is normally inadmissible because it was not made under oath, rather than on personal knowledge.
• (law) An out-of-court statement offered in court for the truth of the matter asserted, which is normally inadmissible because it is not subject to cross-examination unless the hearsay statement falls under one of a number of exceptions.

 

[The Last Stand]

When Indians say "sorry?" when they could not understand a word you said. Bear in mind I cannot understand them for the life of me from their thick accent and inconsistent enunciation.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

heresy

• (religion) a doctrine held by a member of a religion at variance or conflict with established religious beliefs
• (by extension) A controversial or unorthodox opinion held by a member of a group, as in politics, philosophy or science.

hearsay

• Information that was heard by one person about another that cannot be adequately substantiated.
• (law) Evidence based on the reports of others, which is normally inadmissible because it was not made under oath, rather than on personal knowledge.
• (law) An out-of-court statement offered in court for the truth of the matter asserted, which is normally inadmissible because it is not subject to cross-examination unless the hearsay statement falls under one of a number of exceptions.

Fucing auto correct did me dirty

 

[giga sapling]

This brainrot room temperature IQ Zoomer I knew use to start everything he said with "I AIN'T GONNA LIE, BUT______"

 

[Amateur Shoelace Tyer]

A lot of people don't seem to understand that "apart of" describes separation and "a part of" describes inclusion. I see people type "I was apart of that" all the fucking time and even though it's just a single space it drives me nuts. Same with people who use "loose" instead of "lose" when they mean to describe loss.

 

[We Are The Witches]

In spanish, the accentuation rules are maintained whether a letter or letters are in uppercase, and so just because it's an uppercase, does not mean that you should omit the graphic accent, if it does have one.

In official texts and even street signs, both in Spain and parts of South America, you can easily find this disgrace to its own language, where the word, all in uppercase, lacks the graphic accent (called "tilde" in spanish).

Examples:
- "ATENCION", when it should be "ATENCIÓN".
- "PUBLICO" instead of "PÚBLICO".
- "NACION" instead of "NACIÓN".
- "JARDIN" instead of "JARDÍN".

It's infested with it, I have not even started with all the words that suffer from this. The only reason I can think for doing this, is because they may want a uniform height for the words, so if you were to introduce the graphic accent, it would either stand slightly above the letter, or make the letter itself slightly shorter, so that the graphic accent can fit.

But I'm unconvinced this is the case for most of these offenses: in signs where the height is not really a concern, so a complete disrespect to the language for no reason, in written texts in paper, where there is no excuse, even in magazines, where the lack of the "tilde" could change the meaning of the word, which is pretty funny in that case.

There's a lot of idiots out there, but official texts and signs should not suffer from this.

 

[FATTESTCUNT 2.0]

People who insert a space before a punctuation mark . Why do they do it ?

People who pronounce "Moët" as "Mo-ayy".

What should they say instead?

If you say to me, "can I get a pint of lager?", you are asking me whether I think you have the ability to go and get your own pint.

"May I have a pint of lager please?" would be the technically correct thing to say, but IMO, "a pint of lager please" would be fine too. TBH, the only thing that bugs me about "can I get" is that usually the person saying it omits the word "please", and I don't like bad manners.

 

[a hapless toad]

Fucing auto correct did me dirty

Sorry for calling you out, fren.

 

[Brahma]

People mixing up envy and jealousy.

No, you're not jealous of that guy's Ferrari, you're envious.

People mixing up abstruse and obtuse is another one

 

[SFINAE]

heresy

• (religion) a doctrine held by a member of a religion at variance or conflict with established religious beliefs
• (by extension) A controversial or unorthodox opinion held by a member of a group, as in politics, philosophy or science.

hearsay

• Information that was heard by one person about another that cannot be adequately substantiated.
• (law) Evidence based on the reports of others, which is normally inadmissible because it was not made under oath, rather than on personal knowledge.
• (law) An out-of-court statement offered in court for the truth of the matter asserted, which is normally inadmissible because it is not subject to cross-examination unless the hearsay statement falls under one of a number of exceptions.

I remember this being used in a few memes during the Rittenhouse trials when Judge Schroeder (bless his heart) told off Binger. Shit was funny as fuck, I don't care when it's funny tbh.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

People who insert a space before a punctuation mark . Why do they do it ?

This is a French habit, I think.