Grand Jury speculation thread

[Golgo 13]

But why tho? Don't we all want Train-kun to send him to Isekai land to hang out with Terry D.?

I don’t think Terry wants to be in the same plane of existence as Chris.

 

[Ophelia]

Sucks that there's a world where ex cops are now lumped in the same category as child molesters and freaks like Chris.

Unless the ex cop is a child molester.

 

[Golgo 13]

Unless the ex cop is a child molester.

There are some and I personally knew of a couple…

Nothing hits home harder than finding out someone you used to drink with, likes to fuck little kids.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

Ngl this entire stalling for time and hoping Barb will die and not be able to testify so Chris can get put on a misd with time served strategy the defense is doing SUCKS.

I get that lawyers have to advocate for the client but cmon. He's so guilty how can anyone can even try to keep him out of jail.

 

[Golgo 13]

Ngl this entire stalling for time and hoping Barb will die and not be able to testify so Chris can get put on a misd with time served strategy the defense is doing SUCKS.

I get that lawyers have to advocate for the client but cmon. He's so guilty how can anyone can even try to keep him out of jail.

Well if they were to try find a jury of his peers, they only need to hit tumbler/twitter. Jokes aside, it is a smart but excruciating strategy that will more than likely work.

 

[Optimus Prime]

They don’t hand out new identities like candy, and Chris would find some way to fuck it up and let the cat out of the bag.

That would happen the absolute second some ween tries to pull Liquid Chris II and claim they are the original creator of Sonichu.

Chris would go ballistic and immediately make it known to the internet that he was the creator of Sonichu, the OG CWC.

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

Well if they were to try find a jury of his peers, they only need to hit tumbler/twitter. Jokes aside, it is a smart but excruciating strategy that will more than likely work.

until Barb for some ungodly reason lives for another 10 years

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

until Barb for some ungodly reason lives for another 10 years

Barb is like a cockroach that won't die. It's well within the realm of possibility.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

That would happen the absolute second some ween tries to pull Liquid Chris II and claim they are the original creator of Sonichu.

Chris would go ballistic and immediately make it known to the internet that he was the creator of Sonichu, the OG CWC.

Even if he behaved and didn't directly rat out his new identity, there'd be some new variation on NightStar2891 appearing online who would sound mysteriously like the old Chris despite their protestations that they are someone else.

Chris' alt accounts were always discovered almost immediately.

 

[A-№1]

It's probably going to be more of a supportive housing facility. Think something more like an old folks' home, but for tards.

This, except more of a house for tards instead of a large facility. You can pack old people in like sardines, but that doesn't work so well with special adults. The staff to client ratio is much higher for tards because they're harder to manage than old people. There's a tard home in most older neighborhoods. They don't like to advertise their presence, but they're pretty easy to spot if you know what to look for.

Like if there's a house in your neighborhood that appears to be a bunch of men all sharing the rent, except they only have the one van, it's probably an adult assisted living house.

This is why I feel like we should repeal social security and hold no bars against people like Chris aka repeal special privileges to retards like him

Why bother. Social Security is going away regardless.

That said, it is still possible (though IMHO unlikely) for Chris' wobbler charges to be upgraded to a felony.

At which point Chris will have REALLY pissed off the court and Heilberg will have his work cut out for him (assuming he stays on to represent Chris in the circuit court - he probably will, but I don't think it's completely guaranteed).

Will Chris be able to have internet access there?

Only if they tell him the WiFi password. There may be a common use computer but it will be net-nanny'd all to hell and will probably be monopolized by one or two of the other residents. Otherwise Chris will have to pay for his internet himself.

Chris is like a fat, noisy, messy parrot with anger issues. One that's been poorly socialized.

But parrots are smart.

Evil, but smart.

 

[BrokLesnerd]

Oh boy. Endless continuances. Where have I seen that before.

Just like last time, the state will keep putting it off until it's too late to do anything, and then he'll be sent home back to his toys. Hopefully Barb is relocated by/with family not long after and Jesus Christ Sonichu can continue to be the Goddess of All Gods in solitude.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

But why tho? Don't we all want Train-kun to send him to Isekai land to hang out with Terry D.?

PL, but a case I was involved with included an appearance of Train-kun. I've seen the results. It's worse than ISIS beheading videos, more on level with 9/11 jumper aftermath. I do not wish this on Chris and I definitely do not wish this on the engineer of the train. It is never a good thing and I wish people would stop trying to isekai themselves that way.

It also kind of fucks up attorneys. They're used to dealing with shit but they still often wind up caring about their clients somewhat and it can lead to a lot of alcohol ingestion when it happens.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

This, except more of a house for tards instead of a large facility.

If Chris does move into a "halfway home" or "group home", the address would likely be "leaked" in short order. For example, Chris could e-mail a ween "friend" the new address while asking them to "keep this email Strictly Confidential". The next thing you know, the new address is getting flooded with pizza deliveries and ween calls.

And that's assuming Chris isn't registered as a sex offender, and where he lives becomes public knowledge.

 

[Snigger]

We need to consider the non-zero possibility that people in prison might know Chris from the internet, I'd be willing to bet 10+ million people are aware of him, so the odds of somebody in the Virginia penal system being aware of him isn't completely impossible. Chris may never truly escape the trolls.

 

[A-№1]

and then he'll be sent home back to his toys.

Chris is not going back to 14BLC.

I definitely to not wish this on the engineer of the train.

I didn't know what was meant by "Train-kun", but now that I do, Fucking THIS! And not just the engineer, but the entire crew. And the worst thing is it can take minutes of time and thousands of feet for a train to stop, so the crew has no choice but to stand there on the footplate looking on at the inevitable as the seconds tick down…

People who An Hero by train are assholes. Also it's not the quick or painless death they want; it's ugly. People can get a rope and find a tree or buy some pills, if they must, but forcing others to be party to their own weakness is a dick move.

If Chris does move into a "halfway home" or "group home",

The court is required by law to find somewhere to put him. That is likely the source of all these delays.

the address would likely be "leaked" in short order.

Absolutely. Chris will leak it himself unprompted hoping to get gifts.

Then the new address is getting flooded with pizza deliveries and ween calls.

Most delivery outfits already know the addresses of all the local tard homes and either refuse to deliver to them or have a "code word" arrangement with the house manager to prevent the residents themselves from ordering constant "pizza parties". If the house Chris is placed in doesn't have such an arrangement already, they soon will.

 

[L50LasPak]

I sure say a gentleman's hearing is a strange thing to speculate about. Its one of those things that tends to get worse with age, especially if you've been exposed to loud noises a lot during your younger years.

 

[A-№1]

They don’t hand out new identities like candy,

This. Chris is a lazy autist who fucked his own mother, not a mafia witness.

and Chris would find some way to fuck it up and let the cat out of the bag.

Also this. When has Chris ever kept a sockpuppet secret for more than a few seconds?

Chris wouldn’t be put in a genpop. There would be a sequestered place for trans people, ex cops, diddlers, etc.

Chris would be put in genpop (at least at first) but in a low risk, low security facility. He's not going into a supermax like some people here want him to.

I sure say a gentleman's hearing is a strange thing to speculate about.

What matters Chris' hearing when he doesn't listen regardless?

 

[The Dude]

I'm really torn on the whole thing. While I want Chris to experience justice, and I mean real justice, for what he did if he goes away that's the end of Christory. He'll either be locked up in a mental asylum or spend time in actual prison.

I don't see a case in which he's let go to go back home to his toys and sBlack's.

There's no shortage of childish mongoloids and morons who can't help but publicly make fools of themselves on the internet for us to laugh at. Having one or two of them, even prodigious lolcows like Chris, get locked away where they no longer can hurt anyone or be a nuisance to polite society is no great loss IMHO. My sense of justice outweighs my desire to laugh at foolish people. I'd rather see Chris locked away than have him free to bumblefuck around and sexually assault innocent (or not-so-innocent in Barb's case) people.

 

[Josterman]

This, except more of a house for tards instead of a large facility. You can pack old people in like sardines, but that doesn't work so well with special adults. The staff to client ratio is much higher for tards because they're harder to manage than old people. There's a tard home in most older neighborhoods. They don't like to advertise their presence, but they're pretty easy to spot if you know what to look for.

Like if there's a house in your neighborhood that appears to be a bunch of men all sharing the rent, except they only have the one van, it's probably an adult assisted living house.




Why bother. Social Security is going away regardless.




At which point Chris will have REALLY pissed off the court and Heilberg will have his work cut out for him (assuming he stays on to represent Chris in the circuit court - he probably will, but I don't think it's completely guaranteed).




Only if they tell him the WiFi password. There may be a common use computer but it will be net-nanny'd all to hell and will probably be monopolized by one or two of the other residents. Otherwise Chris will have to pay for his internet himself.




But parrots are smart.

Evil, but smart.

It’s to prevent another Chris Chan

 

[A-№1]

I'd rather see Chris locked away than have him free to bumblefuck around and sexually assault innocent (or not-so-innocent in Barb's case) people.

Locking him away would be for his own protection, not others.

When Chris inevitably ends up on the streets, he will be the assaulted, not the assaulter (probably not sexually, though - even street thugs have standards).

It’s to prevent another Chris Chan

The tugboat didn't create Chris. It's merely kept him in legos and delayed the inevitable day he lands on the streets.