Grand Jury speculation thread

[My Name is Mud]

I think Bob came from the Pro-Israel generation. I'm sure it came from Chris taking Family Guy jokes too literally.

And South Park. That definitely had something to do with it.

 

[Pvt. Real G]

Man I don't even care what happens anyway. I just want more crazy Chris Chan content.

 

[A-№1]

Greene County is far from helpless if they want to throw the book at Chris.

Greene County doesn't want to throw the book at Chris. Why waste a good book on someone like him?

Punishing Chris would take up valuable time, effort, and money, and Chris isn't worth any of it.

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

If she had she'd have received a ticket for that and not just for the moving violation.

Wait, can someone really be charged on the basis that they should have known they were too demented to drive? That doesn't seem entirely consistent.

 

[Holiday Special]

100% Ain't no way Chris will actually see punishment for his crimes. It's like people haven't seen the last 12 years of Christory. He's sat retardedly through court proceedings before. It's not like he fucking sperges out 24/7. He's HIGH-FUNCTIONING, GodJesus damnit!

He lost out on the Pony convention, 5k for emergencies, spent a year in jail/the asylum and will never see his mom again. He's been punished, but I doubt he's smart enough to make a correlation.

 

[AnOminous]

It's very likely closed, since the others have been, but I don't know if anyone's confirmed that.

You could still see who goes in and who comes out of the courthouse. Chris probably wouldn't be in this category, because if this county court works like most, prisoners will be taken in in some windowless vehicle and let in to the courtroom via a tightly controlled route.

Lawyers for the parties will just go in through the front door and go through the usual metal detector bullshit, including retards thinking the shims in your shoes might be weapons, or your belt buckles, or other bullshit, fuck you pigs. They seem to do this to defense lawyers more, not that I'm suggesting anything that could occur outside of Minecraft.

So you could probably see Heilberg going in. And coming out. And maybe Chris coming out if that's what happens.

Wait, can someone really be charged on the basis that they should have known they were too demented to drive? That doesn't seem entirely consistent.

Epileptics are sometimes charged for driving when they knew they shouldn't and were unmedicated.

I seriously doubt a total Alzheimer's patient would be charged, but that's really speculative and isn't going to happen. They should yoink her driver's license, though, she is clearly too demented to drive. She was fined for the actual moving violation she did commit, and it was traffic court, and she just paid up.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I always wanted to know where Chris' anti-Semitism came from. I know it started with Snyder (even though that's a German name). He had to have learned that from TV or Bob.

Cartman from South Park

ETA: Whoops, beat

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Cartman from South Park

Not surprising he learned more about Jews on TV as opposed to school.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Greene County doesn't want to throw the book at Chris. Why waste a good book on someone like him?

Punishing Chris would take up valuable time, effort, and money, and Chris isn't worth any of it.

i mean they might want to on he personal level given he has made the county a laughingstock for the last 20 odd years. but personal and practical are two different things. It's better to handle this practically rather than personally.

 

[A-№1]

Can they make these conditions of probation? Hell yes they can.

I'm not sure they can give him probation when he already has time served for the maximum sentence. However they absolutely can make it part of any plea deal so long as he agrees to it.

This might be the "Great Sacrifice" he's been alluding to.

Most people think trespassing isn't a big deal. It can be.

Especially in "Castle Doctrine" states.

People think trespassing is not a big deal because first offenses usually aren't. Generally the police explain the situation, they tell you to go the fuck away, you go the fuck away, and that's the end of it. It's repeated trespassing offenses (especially if you were told to stay away in advance) that get you in the shitter.

Chris will, of course, make repeated trespassing offenses. Because Chris has to learn things the hard way. And Chris doesn't learn.

The Game Place going out of business is the only thing that stopped him from continuing to trespass there. A warning will keep him away for a while, but only until he thinks he can get away with it again.

So you could probably see Heilberg going in. And coming out. And maybe Chris coming out if that's what happens.

I'm half expecting to see youtube videos of weens trying to ambush interview Heilberg on the courthouse steps.

Cartman from South Park

This.

I'm not sure Chris qualifies as a proper anti-semite because it's not clear he actually knows what a jew is.

i mean they might want to on he personal level given he has made the county a laughingstock for the last 20 odd years. but personal and practical are two different things. It's better to handle this practically rather than personally.

I think mostly they just want him to go away, and are secretly hoping for a Hail Mary (or Darwinian) solution to Chris.

 

[GypsyBard]

He lost out on the Pony convention, 5k for emergencies, spent a year in jail/the asylum and will never see his mom again. He's been punished, but I doubt he's smart enough to make a correlation.

I said it before and I'll say it again
Chris is resilient
He adapts to any situation remarkably well
That's why jail is nothing to him
When he gets out he will adapt again

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Chris will be crucified tomorrow, just like he was 2000 years ago.

Does that mean Governor Youngkin will try to convince the public to save him, but instead they will demand the release of some other condemned man in Virginia?

(do we actually know who the judge will be? lmao)

Presumably David M. Barredo, who at least handled his first hearing in J&DR. The small counties share judges with Charlottesville. He is a Charlottesville judge but he is the presiding judge in Greene County's J&DR court.

Lawyers for the parties will just go in through the front door and go through the usual metal detector bullshit, including retards thinking the shims in your shoes might be weapons, or your belt buckles, or other bullshit, fuck you pigs. They seem to do this to defense lawyers more, not that I'm suggesting anything that could occur outside of Minecraft.

I've always found the security guys at my courthouse to be pretty chill. Once they know you have shims in your shoes, they remember.

Guys in the Federal courthouse less chill, but still pretty cool. One day I accidentally forgot that I had my EDC knife in my laptop bag and he just had me stash it in a planter outside. It was still there when I got out.

 

[Cherenkovblue]

If tomorrow is indeed Chris pleading guilty in exchange for some sort of deal, his behavior problems are the least of what he needs to pay attention to. Judges see court behavior worse than his tbh, and have discretion on holding him in contempt if they don't want to deal with it.

They do not have discretion to accept a plea deal if defendant doesn't actually admit guilt. In order for a plea deal to be accepted, the defendant has to actually admit they are guilty of the charged crime when asked by the judge. They can't say "well I don't think I did it but I like the plea deal," "no but I want to get this over with" or any other equivocation. If that happens the plea isn't accepted and a trial will be set, and the state isn't held to whatever agreement was dependent upon the plea. (This recently happened with a capital riot defendant.)

"I'm a rayyyyypbian...." during allocution would almost be worth the contempt charge to follow (but only if captured on camera).

 

[A-№1]

Does that mean Governor Youngkin will try to convince the public to save him, but instead they will demand the release of some other condemned man in Virginia?

If Null is Judas, who then is Barabbas?

I've always found the security guys at my courthouse to be pretty chill. Once they know you have shims in your shoes, they remember.

^This. Especially in small jurisdictions.

The corollary is they also know who to thoroughly check over every single time.

 

[Ophelia]

D'you think Barb will testify or not? I mean her illness is quite bad.

Do you know something the rest of us don’t?

Not surprising he learned more about Jews on TV as opposed to school.

He didn’t learn much of anything at school.

 

[Cherenkovblue]

Guys in the Federal courthouse less chill, but still pretty cool. One day I accidentally forgot that I had my EDC knife in my laptop bag and he just had me stash it in a planter outside. It was still there when I got out.

This. Of course they can go a little too far with the chill, honestly... like once when I was doing jury duty and I stepped out to grab a hotdog from the vendor out front, come back inside and go through the metal detector, putting my hotdog down on top of the machine in the process, and the dude working the metal detector tried to convince me it wouldn't be safe to consume it after leaving it there. Motherfucker said it with such conviction he almost had me.

TL;DR Cop tried to scam me out of a hotdog.

 

[D_Tractor]

Sonichu NOOOOO DO NOT zap to the extreme. There's a gas leak in Greene County Courthouse caused by those damn dirty trolls with backhoes.

Oopsie courthouse burned up case dismissed.

 

[AnOminous]

TL;DR Cop tried to scam me out of a hotdog.

He was hungry and you cheated him out of that hot dog you fucking BITCH!

 

[Cherenkovblue]

He was hungry and you cheated him out of that hot dog you fucking BITCH!

Technically it was OK because he was black.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I said it before and I'll say it again
Chris is resilient
He adapts to any situation remarkably well
That's why jail is nothing to him
When he gets out he will adapt again

So Chris is a cockroach?