Grand Jury speculation thread

[3-2-1836]

Only for court appointed counsel. It's more of an appointment thing than a general qualification thing.

And you think Heilberg doesn't qualify? Seriously?

IIRC he was appointed Chris' counsel before the case was wobbled down to J&DR court, so it's safe to assume he's qualified for the circuit court as well, even if we didn't know his record.

Heilberg is court appointed counsel, and I don't know anything about Heilberg.

I thought this was charged as misdemeanor incest from the onset.

 

[Aciddab]

Heilberg is court appointed counsel, and I don't know anything about Heilberg.
I thought this was charged as misdemeanor incest from the onset.

Its shocking how good a lawyer he got. he was apart of the beltway sniper serial killings defense,

Virginia Recognized Certifications: State and Federally certified to accept criminal
defense appointments of every kind including as qualified lead and habeas counsel to
defend Capital Murder Cases. Certified Guardian Ad Litem (to investigate, report and
represent the best interests of children in court proceedings)

Areas of practice include serious Felonies and Misdemeanors; DUI and Traffic Matters;
Juvenile Criminal and Traffic Defense; State and Federal Appeals; Injuries from
Automobile Accidents; Social Security Disability; Professional Malpractice; Personal
Injury Cases; Civil litigation; Divorce, Custody and Support.

Hes argued about new jersey green cards, defended serial killers, juveniles committing homicide, coke and crack distribution charges, yadda yadda. some superlawyers award ceremony bullcrap gave him an award indicating hes in the top 5% lawyers in virginia. and now the biggest case of his career is in motion.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Heilberg is court appointed counsel, and I don't know anything about Heilberg.

I thought this was charged as misdemeanor incest from the onset.

Look shit up before presenting an opinion. You could even search this site for recitations of Heilberg's CV. But then there is also Voila.

Heilberg is more than qualified.

 

[Thorgrim Grudgebearer]

Maybe the real CWC Grand Jury trial was the useless and autistic knowledge about Virginia Law we made along the way
I see Pointless Sperg is starting to doubt his hypothesis so fingers crossed he actually did reject all plea deals out of stubborness ()

 

[oramge cat]

nobody that commits rape deserves life in prison. sorry but that’s ludacrious. rape is pretty heinous. 5-10 years i’d say.

anyway. imagine getting accused of rape and you actually didn’t do it and you spent your entire life in prison?

there’s a lot of moral implications about imprisoning someone for life over an act that didn’t take a life but just traumatized one.

He’s right but for the wrong reasons.

If the penalty for rape is the same as the penalty for murder (life) a rapist has no reason to leave his victims alive to turn him in.

It’s also the logic behind not executing pedos, they’d start killing their victims.

 

[A-№1]

Heilberg is court appointed counsel, and I don't know anything about Heilberg.

Trust me, he's qualified.

In fact one of the great mysteries about this case is how someone like Chris managed to get a heavy hitter like Heilberg to represent him. It can't be just his usual tard luck. Chris has been ridiculously, stupendously, retardedly fortunate at every step of his case, and the ungrateful fuck keeps screwing it all up. If¹ Chris ends up in prison, he will have absolutely nobody to blame but himself.

I thought this was charged as misdemeanor incest from the onset.

The charge was nebulous at the onset, but they had to make it a misdemeanor to send him down to J&DR.

---

¹ LOL. "If."

 

[JustFuckinaDude]

In fact one of the great mysteries about this case is how someone like Chris managed to get a heavy hitter like Heilberg to represent him. It can't be just his usual tard luck.

Is it possible that the AG is aware of his internet infamy and assigned Heilberg for that very reason?

I still feel for the detective(s) responsible for pulling this shit together to present enough of a case to make it this far. I hope the PD has some psychologists on staff.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

In fact one of the great mysteries about this case is how someone like Chris managed to get a heavy hitter like Heilberg to represent him.

Maybe Heilberg has a bucket list of crimes he's defended and he hadn't checked off "retard screws his mom" yet.

 

[A-№1]

Is it possible that the AG is aware of his internet infamy and assigned Heilberg for that very reason?

The prosecutor doesn't appoint the defense, the court does. And yes, they were likely aware of Chris' e-infamy (if not all the details) when they appointed Heilberg. That may have been part of why he was chosen: he has some experience with media circuses. However, we don't actually know. He might have just been next in line for appointees (poor bastard).

I still feel for the detective(s) responsible for pulling this shit together to present enough of a case to make it this far.

It's probably been one of the easier cases, to be honest. Most of the evidence we've seen so far was volunteered by Chris himself.

Maybe Heilberg has a bucket list of crimes he's defended and he hadn't checked off "retard screws his mom" yet.

Possibly. Or maybe the judge who appointed him was holding a grudge. Who knows?

All we know for certain is Heilberg sure as fuck isn't doing it for the money.

 

[HarryHowler]

It's not just unconfirmed. There's no evidence for it whatsoever.

Heilberg is still Chris' attorney, God save him.

It seems that a bunch of people saw the letter from Heilberg (presumably addressed to the judge) in the case file, and jumped to the conclusion that he was trying to resign from the case.

There's no proof at all that's true - in fact, Heilberg's still being listed as Chris's lawyer on the case file indicates the complete opposite - but it'd still be interesting to know what was in the letter.

 

[3-2-1836]

Trust me, he's qualified.

In fact one of the great mysteries about this case is how someone like Chris managed to get a heavy hitter like Heilberg to represent him. It can't be just his usual tard luck. Chris has been ridiculously, stupendously, retardedly fortunate at every step of his case, and the ungrateful fuck keeps screwing it all up. If¹ Chris ends up in prison, he will have absolutely nobody to blame but himself.



The charge was nebulous at the onset, but they had to make it a misdemeanor to send him down to J&DR.

---

¹ LOL. "If."

Basically when you get public defenders it's luck of the draw since usually most states without dedicated public defenders mandate that all lawyers as a condition of being allowed to practice criminal law in that jurisdiction, be randomly assigned to criminal cases.

Which reminds me of this guy I know, he got hit with a felony and went and paid $10,000 to the best lawyer in the county he was arressted to get it thrown out and couldn't even use him because he was the public defender in a DUI case for this methhead who was the prosecution's only witness.

 

[oramge cat]

Too bad he didn't take a class like that earlier so Bob wouldn't have had to die covered in bug bites.

Dare I say it but, did Chris… learn a lesson from a past mistake?

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Dare I say it but, did Chris… learn a lesson from a past mistake?

The only thing he learns is how to be more devious in his actions.

 

[Nuns with guns]

I just want Chris to go out in parol, sperg online in a homeless saga, and inevitably fuck up again just like he knows how to do it; maybe going to 14BC or public masturbation or whatever.

 

[A-№1]

It seems that a bunch of people saw the letter from Heilberg (presumably addressed to the judge) in the case file, and jumped to the conclusion that he was trying to resign from the case.

A few others were confused by the order of events and the fact that the crappy government database gave the same date of entry for each document. The didn't realize the bit about appointing a lawyer for Chris happened a year ago and meant appointing Heilberg.

Basically when you get public defenders it's luck of the draw since usually most states without dedicated public defenders mandate that all lawyers as a condition of being allowed to practice criminal law in that jurisdiction, be randomly assigned to criminal cases.

It's possible Chris was just unbelievably lucky it was Heilberg's turn to do some pro bono work, but it's much more probable Heilberg was specifically asked to take on this case, and he agreed for reasons of his own. He's a semi-retired private defense lawyer out of Charlottesville, not some random overworked Greene County public defender with wet ink still on his bar certificate.

 

[Fapcop]

I just want Chris to go out in parol, sperg online in a homeless saga, and inevitably fuck up again just like he knows how to do it; maybe going to 14BC or public masturbation or whatever.

Chris walking away scot free would definitely be the funniest and most just outcome.

The stream of salt from weens and “HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!! THINK OF THE BROKEN BARBUSSY!!”-redditor fags would be endlessly amusing, and Chris would go without the childlike peace and quiet and three meals a day he would get in a prison cell.

 

[Nuns with guns]

Chris walking away scot free would definitely be the funniest and most just outcome.

The stream of salt from weens and “HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!! THINK OF THE BROKEN BARBUSSY!!”-redditor fags would be endlessly amusing, and Chris would go without the childlike peace and quiet and three meals a day he would get in a prison cell.

We get more content (hopefully more interesting than the shitty letters) and he gets to be homeless in debt. I say it's the ideal scenario.

 

[Fapcop]

We get more content (hopefully more interesting than the shitty letters) and he gets to be homeless in debt. I say it's the ideal scenario.

The ideal scenario would be Chris moving in with DSP and Wings of Redemption into a 24-7 live-streamed house.

But I’ll take this one as a close second.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

In fact one of the great mysteries about this case is how someone like Chris managed to get a heavy hitter like Heilberg to represent him. It can't be just his usual tard luck. Chris has been ridiculously, stupendously, retardedly fortunate at every step of his case, and the ungrateful fuck keeps screwing it all up. If¹ Chris ends up in prison, he will have absolutely nobody to blame but himself.

Heilberg is a qualified attorney (as he should be, with his age and years of practice) but I wouldn't call him a "heavy hitter." His biggest claim to fame, being involved in the Beltway Sniper case, was limited to the habeas portion of the case and he's not even named in the court decision in that habeas action. Meaning that he was probably taking a backseat role, most likely doing research or something instead of arguing before the court. He peaked in 2005 and it wasn't even a very high peak. He also co-authored a book on local practice but that's to be expected when you've been around for a long time.

Aside from that, it looks like he does primarily DUI and drug possession cases. Which is normal for a criminal defense attorney - and I'm not knocking him for doing it - but it's not like he's Johnny Cochrane here.

But the answer to your question is pretty simple. In many places throughout the country, courts maintain lists of private attorneys who are willing to take criminal defense cases if the PD's office is too busy. Because these cases don't pay very well, they tend to be young attorneys (who need the money) or older attorneys who are closer to retirement (like Heilberg.)

I'm sure Chris could have gotten a different old guy who had minor involvement in a well-known case 17 years ago, it's just how the schedule played out.

 

[Aciddab]

more probable Heilberg was specifically asked to take on this case, and he agreed for reasons of his own.

oh no. what if...what if Hielberg already knew who chris was. he took the case and dragged it out for a year.

how long did it normally take for chris to finish an issue of sonichu again?