Grand Theft Auto Grieving Thread - Yep, I've been drinkin' again...

[Bear Powers]

I'm attempting to 100% GTA3. The Paramedic side mission is the hardest hurdle so far. I made the mistake of making the Triads hostile before starting it, so between collisions, spread out patients and the Triad's gunfire, it's usually hard to complete in one go. I'm considering using a cheat code or just starting over from another save, but then I have to deal with cumbersome controls and some egregious side missions/rampages again.

When I replayed GTA3DE recently I had to replay 2/3rd's of the game to get 100% because of the fucking paramedic mission. This was all newish to me because I never seriously attempted to do the paramedic mission in the OG GTA3, I just didn't care about it. If you look around there are two main schools of thought, one is do them in Portland IMMEDIATELY or at the very least before the Triads are hostile. The other is do them on Staunton Island, and preferably before the last phone mission that turns the Yardies hostile. I tried the latter, and it never worked out for me. I could see why people say it's an option, Staunton is flat and after level three or four you'll usually finish with minutes to spare. But after that It's all RNG, and you might get multiple patients in Cartel territory. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that on Staunton Island the mission takes over and hour to complete. It doesn't take much to evaporate hours of playtime. Portland takes about half the time, 30-35 minutes.

I tried maybe three or four times in Staunton before realizing this was such a fuckup. I reloaded an earlier save and got it in Portland on my first serious try. Opinions differ on whether to use your siren but I don't think I could have done it without it, cars actually stop for you at intersections (most of the time). One helpful piece of advice I can give (if you're playing the Defective Edition) is to "swipe away" cars in front of you - use the camera controls to just look to the left or right super quick (don't use the driveby look left/right commands, does not work). Excepting police, cars ahead of you will despawn (and quickly respawn but you can look away again).

 

[The Last Stand]

One helpful piece of advice I can give (if you're playing the Defective Edition)

I have the original Xbox version. Not the Definitive Edition.

If you look around there are two main schools of thought, one is do them in Portland IMMEDIATELY or at the very least before the Triads are hostile. The other is do them on Staunton Island, and preferably before the last phone mission that turns the Yardies hostile. I tried the latter, and it never worked out for me. I could see why people say it's an option, Staunton is flat and after level three or four you'll usually finish with minutes to spare. But after that It's all RNG, and you might get multiple patients in Cartel territory.

I heard Staunton Island is an alternative option. Portland has a lot of tight turns, but it’s the smallest island. In Staunton, I believe the Cartel are hostile off the jump. One of El Burro’s missions make the Triads hostile, so I messed up there.

That’s one design flaw in 3. The more you progress, the more the world hates you on sight. Half the world becomes practically inaccessible because they would gun you down on sight, especially the Mafia with their shotguns.

 

[Pat Smear]

Is PS3 really the worst way to play gta4?

i don't remember it being all that bad but i was also 12 last time i played it.

 

[Bear Powers]

I have the original Xbox version. Not the Definitive Edition.

When I started looking up stuff about the paramedic mission to try to see just how screwed I was I learned a lot about both versions. I can't say personally because of the fact that I never really tried in the original but from what I can tell it's still very difficult but arguably a small notch or two easier with the original. Largely because of how many pedestrians and how much traffic is rendered in the DE versions, just absurd levels of both that you have to deal with. I think this is partly why I was getting conflicting info regarding the siren, in the original it arguably makes things worse but I think it's needed in DE.

I honestly think it's by far the worst mission in any of the "3D universe" GTA's, not just for difficulty - there are arguably more difficult missions - but also for how much time is just gone if you fuck up.

Some tips - if you're going to try on Staunton do it after "Grand Theft Aero" because Yakuza will be fighting with the Cartel, taking some of their attention away from you. Using a bat to knock off the doors might help, patients can just hop in w/o having to open them. You can run over up to three pedestrians in GTA3 without getting a star, so embrace the irony and squish away (I don't know how long the reset time is exactly but it's not long, distance matters too). Use the handbrake basically every time you turn so Flippy, the retard ambulance, is less likely to kill itself. These are off the top of my head, there's probably more, but it's easy to find. Really on Staunton it's just tedious yet high-strung repetition while praying to the RNG gods to not fuck you up the ass so you don't waste yet another 20-60 minutes.

 

[The Last Stand]

Is PS3 really the worst way to play gta4?

i don't remember it being all that bad but i was also 12 last time i played it.

I'd say yes, because of the periodic frame drops. I'd like to add the vanilla PC port as well, but that can be fixed with community mods so take that as you would.

I honestly think it's by far the worst mission in any of the "3D universe" GTA's, not just for difficulty - there are arguably more difficult missions - but also for how much time is just gone if you fuck up.

You're correct on that. With taxis, you just need to do 100 fares at any time. For Firefighter and Vigilante, you need to do 20 per island, not in a row.

Using a bat to knock off the doors might help, patients can just hop in w/o having to open them.

I can't speak for DE, but you cannot knock off car objects with bats/melee in III. Vice City introduced that.

 

[Mushroom Rings]

Use the handbrake basically every time you turn so Flippy, the retard ambulance

This is a must. Every single time you make a turn with that stupidly top-heavy ambulance you have to use the handbrake or you will fail.

I hate this side mission. My least favorite side missions in GTA's usually feel like boring chores but this one feels like pure torture. All the more so because such an important and useful upgrade as infinite sprint is locked behind it.

 

[Bear Powers]

I can't speak for DE, but you cannot knock off car objects with bats/melee in III. Vice City introduced that.

Oops, probably conflated memories with VC and SA. You can still knock the doors off beforehand, whack the rear end and right side. You'll probably have most knocked of by helpful npc drivers anyway.

 

[The Last Stand]

I'm glad Paramedic was removed when GTA went to the HD era. Taxi missions came back into IV as a supplementary option for Roman's cab service. Smart thinking to make it optional and to give life to Liberty City.

 

[Adolf Kitler]

Is PS3 really the worst way to play gta4?

i don't remember it being all that bad but i was also 12 last time i played it.

I just started playing that version of GTA IV not really that bad tbh

Sometimes it has framedrops but it's mostly playable.

 

[Crypt Kicker]

I'm glad Paramedic was removed when GTA went to the HD era. Taxi missions came back into IV as a supplementary option for Roman's cab service. Smart thinking to make it optional and to give life to Liberty City.

Taxi missions in GTA V were pretty useful at the beginning when you're Franklin without a lot of money.
Also first person riding as a passenger cracked me up sometimes.

 

[The Last Stand]

Taxi missions in GTA V were pretty useful at the beginning when you're Franklin without a lot of money.
Also first person riding as a passenger cracked me up sometimes.
View attachment 8465186

I see why in GTA IV, they’d briefly lean back at you before facing the road again. I don’t want him to stare at me like that.

 

[Would]

Real niggas do Paramedic/Vigilante on Shoreside Vale. Misery at it's finest.

 

[MirrorNoir]

They'd then have to rewrite the story as if Franklin never existed or just have him as a supporting character. Maybe have Franklin and Lamar as their own story DLC. I'm sure R* had Franklin as a mandatory call back to San Andreas. I don't even think Franklin is an unnecessary character, just underdeveloped compared to Michael and Trevor.

Solution is to make Trevor the villain of the entire game and stick to having just Michael and Franklin as the main playable characters. Trevor is such a huge god damn piece of shit person, that he makes the lazy woke avacado toast loving zoomers in the Saints Row reboot look better by a country mile when compared to that piece of shit.

 

[The Last Stand]

Brucie's "bitch" Banshee is in Los Santos Tuners, complete with a vanity plate cutely dubbed "D481TCH."



Somebody tried to recreate it in GTA Online, vanity plate and all. The online license plate creator would flag it for "inappropriate language."
I get it, but at the same time, what did they expect? A compromise would've been to have the capability to purchase or unlock it.

 

[MrJokerRager]

 

[Crypt Kicker]

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Enjoy the game crashing every time you shoot a fag

 

[MrJokerRager]

Enjoy the game crashing every time you shoot a fag

I think there should be a secret achievement if it crashes 49 times in honor of Pulse.

 

[catpetter]

I was wondering, what do you guys think of GTA Online?

 

[DeadwastePrime]

it exists and i dont interact with it

 

[Agent of Z.O.G.]

There's no doubt that the game would be objectively good,

[MISSION FAILED, YOU GRAND THEFTED THE WRONG AUTO]