Happy 2023 - Drunk Spergery

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  • Power Reactors will have shut down waves to fight climate change. Jim Sterling will die in a funny way.
  • The Mario movie will bomb at the box office.
  • Food shortage will be worse.
  • Chris Chan goes to a half way house and escapes.
  • Elon Musk sells Twitter and Tesla.
 
I think Chris Chan will get out of jail this year. I think when he goes to court he'll be entranced to "time served." I think that was his attorneys plan the whole time.
 
Haven't thought too much about it, but I expect:
>Tate brothers will turn against each other
>Jordan Peterson hospitalized
>Drag queen story hour skirmishes and/or shootings
>Major hit piece on Elon Musk that will effectively castrate him
 
Realistic predictions:
Rage pig converts to judeism. Tries moving to Israel, shenanigans ensue.
Anisa either gets pregnant or tries to turn into a dude.
Farms keeps flip flopping between back and dead.
Jim probably dies. Sad days ensure.

Retarded predictions:
Sargon becomes third emperor of France, country proceeds to riot for the rest of the year (the french riot over the smallest things so nothing actually happens).
England sinks into the sea, yes this includes Scotland.
Germany gets invaded by demons who burn, loot and rape everything. German gvt gives them full citizenship.
Italy goes full fascist and tries to finish Mussolini’s was against the mob. Loses horribly.
The US balkanizes, Tim Pool becomes duke of Chiraq and uses his beanie as a crown.
Canada just ceases to exist, nothing of value is lost.
Austria ceases to exist, hungarians everywhere party the rest of the year because of this.
Japan finds a way to turn people into anime, it goes horribly wrong and they get nuked so many times their island turns into a slab of cobalt.
Africans invent the wheel.
Abbos discover and begin to use all the numbers past 3.
Robo Hitler takes over Argentina with an army of cyborg dinosaur riding nazis. Tries to take over the rest of South America, gets lost in the amazon forrest.
Vlad and Vlod decide to end the war by marrying each other. The wedding is called off when they both show up to the wedding ceremony wearing a dress.
Israel keeps being Israel. Ben becomes a Futurama style head in a jar.
 
Chris will snap his fingers and everyone will either be dead or trooned-out.

The Great Grimaldi will be appointed World President. Hold on, forget it, that was 2014.

Serious predictions: more lockdowns, more poverty, more needless mass death, more endless capeshit... and that took all my brainpower, honestly. Very tired now. Happy new year, I guess.
 
Chris Chan will most likely be released from prison
Andrew Tate will probably await trial all 2023
KF will probably be attacked again
 
- Chris spends another birthday in prison
- Chantel gets divorced and moves back just in time to save peetz from homelessness
- Kanye possibly gets suicided
- Donald Trump continues to lose popularity, Ron Desantis continues to gain popularity
- House republicans attempt to impeach Joe Biden, if successful he is quickly acquitted by senate
- Elliot Fong-Jones is fired by honeycomb.io after failing to take down the farms and general incompetence. He starts at another troon loving company where he continues to spend most of his time coping and seething about us
- old school YouTuber and current troon Marc Mues gets a thread
- Anthony Fantano continues to creepily obsess over Megan thee Stallion on Twitter
 
Elon Musk buys out all Social Media companies and fires every dumb-ass into the Cosmos via the Tesla Yeet Trebuchet.

Ethan Ralph to go first.
 
TaMonk said:
The ride will continue.
Click to expand...
1672705853721.png

I WANT OFF MR. BONES WILD RIDE
 
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