Have you ever realized you're bad for a friend and parted ways with them to save them grief?

Clop said:
If you yourself had the self-awareness of being bad for someone else then why not just change? Fucking drama queen wants to fall on his sword, that's why.
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Depends on what OP means by "bad". Are we talking toxicity or just incompatibility? If it's the former, I tend to agree with you. If the latter, I'm not changing just to please someone else's sensibilities.
 
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Yeah, no. This is teenage drama level. What you do instead, is see what specifically you're doing wrong, say "Oh, I should try not to be such a shithead", and you stop being wrong by a little bit.

After you can manage not being the shithead friend, you can eventually evolve into not being a shithead boyfriend/girlfriend. Then if you're really lucky, you can create spawn who you aren't a shithead to, and then you die.

Now is a good time to start!
 
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Everyone I knew from high school. In retrospect, I hate the dumb kid I was and the way I treated people.

Guys called me the O-ring because I could fit around any pipe and destroy any challenger. Girls called me Inception because I could go deeper than anyone else, make them think it was their idea, and personally found myself to be overrated.

And I did it all for free. I vowed to never be that financially irresponsible again, and so I’ve left that part of my life behind forever. But nostalgia and fifty bucks up front might compel me to reconnect again someday.
 
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I distanced myself from a friend for a while because I thought I was bad for him, but in the end, being absent was being worse to him and I was missing him too. It may sound a little technical, but in hindsight it was a mixture of insecurity and not fully understanding the assymetric value I was offering compared to what he was offering.

You know what? Here's an idea. If you think you're bad for someone, discuss it with them and get their perspective. Don't do the lassie/nymeria thing where you throw rocks at it for its own good.
 
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Gotta agree with individual above me. Because of my condition, I've lost a lot of friends in my time because I thought they were 'better off without me'. The logic behind that is faulty and in some cases outright harmful.

If your friends have problems with your behavior that are legitimate (in the case of toxic behaviors and the like), then maybe see about changing your ways. If they have problems with behaviors that aren't really doing any harm, or are just things that they don't agree with for some dumb reason, find new friends.
 
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Two words: ebb and flow.

If a friendship reaches a tough spot, if it's worth it, it'll fix itself with time. Relationships aren't always perfect, there will be ups and downs. It's how you handle it, and how level or frequent those troughs are.

I have distanced myself a few times from friends. End up regretting it each passing day from time to time.
 
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I am incapable of cutting ties with any of my internet buds, even if they're awful people or if I'm bad for them. It's a lot easier to just avoid people in real life than it is to actively block someone on Discord.
 
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No. I've never felt that to be the case. Perhaps I lack self awareness, perhaps I'm too egotistical, or maybe I'm just a decent sort.

I've cut ties with a couple of friends because of their actions, though.
 
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Actually, no, wait. I take it back. I did, once, but it was less "I left because I was hurting him", and more "we were kind of low-key messing with each other, and I left before it broke out into something worse".

It was a while ago, and it was a sort of messy situation. Basically I had a friend I was crushing on. He was straight, but... One of those straight-but-willing-to-flirt kinds, if that makes any sense. Basically, he was a nice guy (in the uncapitalized sense of the term), he would't outright just shut me down, and I realized I was pining away for something I could never have. I knew it was hopeless, I wasn't going to even try, but as long as I was around him, I couldn't let myself stop hoping. It was really screwing with me, and I just had to leave before one of us hurt the other even more. I haven't spoken with him in a few years, now. I'm in a more stable place in my life, I've thought about trying to look him up again, but I worry that there's still a wound there that would get in the way.
 
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Easterling said:
no but i've realised some friends are bad for me and left them to save me grief.
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You ever have one of those friends who one day you just started realizing that you were only friends with them because you used to be friends with them, but you've changed with time to where, if you met them now for the first time, you wouldn't want to be around them?
 
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It happens. I wouldn't go so far as to say I or they have been "bad" for one another (usually) but sometimes friendships run their course. People change as they get older, their personalities, their interests or beliefs... Those friends from childhood you thought you would be "friends forever" with rarely turn out that way. There's no malice or antagonism usually, they just occur little by little. You stop hanging out as much as you used to, you stop talking on the phone or online as things fade from friendship to acquaintance to stranger. I find it sad, but it does happen. I had a friend I knew close to twenty years and we haven't talked in about three years. We don't hate one another or have a reason for not talking, we just started to grow apart.

To be a bit more specific to your question, yes I have ended a friendship because I wasn't in a good state for myself or anyone around me. Not going into any deep specifics, but they were a very empathic and nurturing kind of person, and I couldn't have them feeling as though they had to be there for me constantly. That wasn't fair to them.
 
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Yeah. I once worked in a toxic environment. I responded in my usual way by being even more difficult. Anyways, I had a couple of good friends there and when I left I kind of did a fade because management would have come after them - and in fact has started to do so prior to my leaving. I still feel really guilty about it.
 
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