Help with shitty mom

fuwrhwuruwi

fuwrhwuruwi

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Apr 27, 2021
When I was 13 my mom left for drugs with a man that is older than my grandfather and now lives in Ohio. Last summer she contacted me through Facebook and wanted my email so we could talk "so it could be more private", so I gave her my email and it has resulted in me emailing her and her not responding for a few months back and forth. Two months ago she emailed me saying that she fears she's going to be homeless again and two days ago she's said that she wants to call me "to talk about something important", I gave her both my grandparent's phone number and my uncle's phone number, she hasn't called or texted either of the numbers and I've offered to download TextNow if she feels that would be better and no response. I just have no clue what to do, can you help?
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fuwrhwuruwi said:
When I was 13 my mom left for drugs with a man that is older than my grandfather and now lives in Ohio. Last summer she contacted me through Facebook and wanted my email so we could talk "so it could be more private", so I gave her my email and it has resulted in me emailing her and her not responding for a few months back and forth. Two months ago she emailed me saying that she fears she's going to be homeless again and two days ago she's said that she wants to call me "to talk about something important", I gave her both my grandparent's phone number and my uncle's phone number, she hasn't called or texted either of the numbers and I've offered to download TextNow if she feels that would be better and no response. I just have no clue what to do, can you help?
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Your mom is just a really messed up person. It sounds like you would really like to have a relationship with her, but you need to accept that she's just not able to actually be a mom for you right now. Maybe some day in the future she will get her act together, but until she does -- try not to let it hurt you too much.

Every kid (even when they are all grown up) wants to have their parents in their lives -- even if the parents are shit. That's just how we are wired. You are not dumb for wanting that. You just need to know that you'll be fine even if she is never able to be the kind of mom you want her to be. The problem is all hers. It does no good to waste time trying to figure out why you weren't important enough to her. You deserve a mom who put you first. She is the one who didn't deserve you.

Leave the possibility of reconciliation open, but just know that you will be absolutely fine even if that never happens.
 
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Mealy Mouth Spittle said:
Your mom is just a really messed up person. It sounds like you would really like to have a relationship with her, but you need to accept that she's just not able to actually be a mom for you right now. Maybe some day in the future she will get her act together, but until she does -- try not to let it hurt you too much.

Every kid (even when they are all grown up) wants to have their parents in their lives -- even if the parents are shit. That's just how we are wired. You are not dumb for wanting that. You just need to know that you'll be fine even if she is never able to be the kind of mom you want her to be. The problem is all hers. It does no good to waste time trying to figure out why you weren't important enough to her. You deserve a mom who put you first. She is the one who didn't deserve you.

Leave the possibility of reconciliation open, but just know that you will be absolutely fine even if that never happens.
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Everyone here has said awful things about her like she has bipolar disorder, that before she met my dad she was married to a guy that was in the mob, etc etc, and I really want to get answers from her but I know now that she's just going to play victim all the time and not give me any straight answers
 
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fuwrhwuruwi said:
Everyone here has said awful things about her like she has bipolar disorder, that before she met my dad she was married to a guy that was in the mob, etc etc, and I really want to get answers from her but I know now that she's just going to play victim all the time and not give me any straight answers
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Take my advice and give up. There’s nothing in this relationship for you but hurt.
 
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Welcome back harley!
IMG_20210512_195041_1.jpg
 
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fuwrhwuruwi said:
When I was 13 my mom left for drugs with a man that is older than my grandfather and now lives in Ohio. Last summer she contacted me through Facebook and wanted my email so we could talk "so it could be more private", so I gave her my email and it has resulted in me emailing her and her not responding for a few months back and forth. Two months ago she emailed me saying that she fears she's going to be homeless again and two days ago she's said that she wants to call me "to talk about something important", I gave her both my grandparent's phone number and my uncle's phone number, she hasn't called or texted either of the numbers and I've offered to download TextNow if she feels that would be better and no response. I just have no clue what to do, can you help?
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Are we supposed to be your dad or something?
 
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You're being played dude. your mother left you when you were 13 for money and drugs, she doesn't care about you. She cares that you or anyone that was family to her can save her from her mistakes. You're a tool, lol. She's ghosting you because she does not want you, until you're useful to her.
 
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