hothead
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2025
Hello, Kiwifarms. As I have stated in another thread, I grew up unschooled. I was isolated from the world mostly, besides the occasional grocery run. As I grew up, I joined a baking club, but the only members were fellow weird homeschooled kids. Growing up as a little kid, I didn't think about my schooling much besides my mom making dumb remarks against public school kids, but when I became a teenager, the realization hit. me like a bag of rocks when I asked my mom if I could play sports, and she said some dumb spiel about how it's only coaches boys who play, and then when I stated it would help my draft stock, she just laughed at me. I have hated that bitch ever since I used to actually like my mom at one point, but that basically soured my relationship with my mom, and I don't think I will ever truly love her.
This was just one of many incidents involving my mom; this isn't' even getting into the time she almost drove me and my brother off a bridge, the time she broke a flowerpot on New Year's, or any of the many arguments with my dad, who basically never started hem. My mom had a spending addiction and was obsessed with gossiping and trying to impress other people. She basically never let high school drama go, and I think this may be why she unschooled me. She was probably bullied for being the bitch she is, so she thought I would end up that way. The sad part is, like others in the unschool thread have stated, my parents were middle class. I could have gone to a good school and had friends and memories, but instead I'm a miserable bastard who's bitter at the world and the kids who got it better than me.
The sad thing is most people think I got it good. "OMG, dude, you can play video games and not study??????? AND YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT IT? The problem is much like a child wanting to eat candy for breakfast; it sounds good at first, but eventually the consequences of it become clear. Don't get me wrong. My brother and I had good memories playing video games, but we could have had those memories and more going to school. Now I'm 20; I struggle with basic math, and I'm embarrassed by it. I'm also mad at myself that I didn't stand up enough to my mom. I wish she could have gone to prison or died before my high school years so I could go to school, but she didn't, so I ended up missing out on high school, which my mom describes as just a bunch of drama and stuff you don't need, like reading, math, and social skills, but my mom can never comprehend that she failed. If I confront her, she just says, I did everything for you. I can never convince her she's wrong.
I honestly don't think I have a future. I missed out on the formative years of my life. I missed out on sports. I mean, even if I got a stable job, what am I going to talk with my coworkers about? Minecraft? I mean, my dad has so many funny stories from high school. He got his 4-year degree and is a social butterfly. I'm often very jealous of him and other kids who got to experience the life I didn't. You know, it also really affected me growing up seeing my dad, who's a very nice guy, getting run over by my mom. I don't think he ever really knew that I looked up to him. He's honest; he's everything my mom isn't. You know, he's honest about his business failures and how he failed to raise me and let my mom ruin my life, but that doesn't change anything. I wish there was somebody to stand up to my mom so she couldn't have ruined my life.
You know there's that Bible verse, that Bible verse that goes something like, if you let a woman lead the home, she will lead it to chaos, and that's exactly what happened. I'm now 20, and I tried courses at the local community college, and I hate it. I hate online classes. I don't know how I can escape my mom. I'm mad at myself for not standing up to her enough. I should have done more for my future. I should have fought for the chance to go to school, but I was afraid of being scolded and shot down. Just like she shot down all of my hopes and dreams, I will never forget what I said when I told my mom about how I became depressed because of her: "You crushed me," she cried, and said, Why don't you tell me this stuff only to shame me for ruining our trip that was planned the next day I truly hate my mom; even if we normally interact most of the day, it just sucks. Out of all the people whose lives could be ruined, it had to be mine.
This is my life. I honestly don't know what to do or if I will ever be able to recover from my lack of life experience. editor's note: I was having a mental breakdown when I wrote this, but the points still apply.
This was just one of many incidents involving my mom; this isn't' even getting into the time she almost drove me and my brother off a bridge, the time she broke a flowerpot on New Year's, or any of the many arguments with my dad, who basically never started hem. My mom had a spending addiction and was obsessed with gossiping and trying to impress other people. She basically never let high school drama go, and I think this may be why she unschooled me. She was probably bullied for being the bitch she is, so she thought I would end up that way. The sad part is, like others in the unschool thread have stated, my parents were middle class. I could have gone to a good school and had friends and memories, but instead I'm a miserable bastard who's bitter at the world and the kids who got it better than me.
The sad thing is most people think I got it good. "OMG, dude, you can play video games and not study??????? AND YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT IT? The problem is much like a child wanting to eat candy for breakfast; it sounds good at first, but eventually the consequences of it become clear. Don't get me wrong. My brother and I had good memories playing video games, but we could have had those memories and more going to school. Now I'm 20; I struggle with basic math, and I'm embarrassed by it. I'm also mad at myself that I didn't stand up enough to my mom. I wish she could have gone to prison or died before my high school years so I could go to school, but she didn't, so I ended up missing out on high school, which my mom describes as just a bunch of drama and stuff you don't need, like reading, math, and social skills, but my mom can never comprehend that she failed. If I confront her, she just says, I did everything for you. I can never convince her she's wrong.
I honestly don't think I have a future. I missed out on the formative years of my life. I missed out on sports. I mean, even if I got a stable job, what am I going to talk with my coworkers about? Minecraft? I mean, my dad has so many funny stories from high school. He got his 4-year degree and is a social butterfly. I'm often very jealous of him and other kids who got to experience the life I didn't. You know, it also really affected me growing up seeing my dad, who's a very nice guy, getting run over by my mom. I don't think he ever really knew that I looked up to him. He's honest; he's everything my mom isn't. You know, he's honest about his business failures and how he failed to raise me and let my mom ruin my life, but that doesn't change anything. I wish there was somebody to stand up to my mom so she couldn't have ruined my life.
You know there's that Bible verse, that Bible verse that goes something like, if you let a woman lead the home, she will lead it to chaos, and that's exactly what happened. I'm now 20, and I tried courses at the local community college, and I hate it. I hate online classes. I don't know how I can escape my mom. I'm mad at myself for not standing up to her enough. I should have done more for my future. I should have fought for the chance to go to school, but I was afraid of being scolded and shot down. Just like she shot down all of my hopes and dreams, I will never forget what I said when I told my mom about how I became depressed because of her: "You crushed me," she cried, and said, Why don't you tell me this stuff only to shame me for ruining our trip that was planned the next day I truly hate my mom; even if we normally interact most of the day, it just sucks. Out of all the people whose lives could be ruined, it had to be mine.
This is my life. I honestly don't know what to do or if I will ever be able to recover from my lack of life experience. editor's note: I was having a mental breakdown when I wrote this, but the points still apply.
