/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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Commander X said:
YouTube diving lead me to this 1976 short film of some minor interest to me, a heavily abridged adaption of M.R. James' story "Mr. Humphreys and his Inheritance", a story that always stuck with me because, hey, a hedge maze.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=8cNvma-h7KA
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now I want an Are You Being Served? spin-off where his mother passes and leaves him a haunted house and he runs around being scared and gay for an hour
frozen_runner said:
drawn to the house
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they should do something about that bone portal to hell in the basement
that's gonna contribute to the renters not sticking around for sure

it's not 2xposting, it's a postcredits jumpscare
 
Saw Ready or Not (2019) for the first time in ages, I still enjoyed it quite a lot. Though now that I'm way more desensitized to movies with bloods and guts compared to 2019 I'd put it more along the lines as an extremely dark comedy rather than a horror film because it's surprisingly light in the actual scare factor. But imo the quality of everything else makes up for it. Spooky enough for October and that's what counts!
 
Was catching up on the thread and watched "Him" and "Sketch" based on comments here.

"Him" was fucking trash and I agree with what's already been said. Lots of style, dog shit acting and story.

"Sketch" was more enjoyable up until the halfway point. After a while I determined it had to be writen or directed by a woman/gay man based on jokes, characters, diversity, lack of actual men, etc.
Seth_Worley_at_the_2024_Toronto_International_Film_Festival.jpg

I was close. Writer/Director Seth Worley looks very
similar to the dad in the movie. I'm surprised the kids in the movie don't call him a faggot and kick his ass.

Good style and effects, terrible action sequences. I know I'm asking a lot for a movie with kids but the fight sequences are the over acting, looks-like-a-rehearsal fight slop that kills the suspension of disbelief. The jokes also got extremely lame. I was definetely not the target audience for this.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
I just came back from seeing The Strangers: Chapter 2 and my god it was shit. Like most of it is a slog watching the dumbass final girl from the first movie run around to make the dumbest decisions ever while the killers are also retarded for the sake of expanding the runtime.

I can tolerate idiocy in horror movies but this is actually boring and there was nothing fun.

It also betrays the entire premise of The Strangers by trying to give the killers a backstory (while explaining random shit) and making us feel bad for them after the main girl kills one of them.
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I had this crazy idea, what if they did a slasher/home invader/psycho movie only at the start they kill the wrong person as in someone they never should have killed as this said victim dabbles in the dark arts, at his last breath he puts a curse on the psychos which manifests throughout the movie, that they go through horrible pain both physical, mental and emotional that they don't even remember what drove them to kill in the first place to the point that they are now in crisis, like they go like Michael Douglas in Falling Down "I'm the bad guy?"
 
XYZpdq Jr. said:
I want an Are You Being Served? spin-off where his mother passes and leaves him a haunted house and he runs around being scared and gay for an hour
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I would watch that.
PS1gamenwatch said:
I had this crazy idea, what if they did a slasher/home invader/psycho movie only at the start they kill the wrong person as in someone they never should have killed as this said victim dabbles in the dark arts, at his last breath he puts a curse on the psychos which manifests throughout the movie
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I would love to do a horror/comedy with this premise, like a killer is cursed by a victim so then for the rest of the film every time they go to kill someone it goes a bit wrong.
Chasing someone with a chainsaw, slips on a banana peel, gets up and still gets the kill but so awkward.
Then later try to stab someone and the knife breaks so they end up strangling the victim instead.
At the end when the cops are closing in they flee only to fall into an open manhole and get stomped by ninja turtles.
Probably been done a hundred times but I haven't seen every movie ever made.
 
PS1gamenwatch said:
I had this crazy idea, what if they did a slasher/home invader/psycho movie only at the start they kill the wrong person as in someone they never should have killed as this said victim dabbles in the dark arts, at his last breath he puts a curse on the psychos which manifests throughout the movie, that they go through horrible pain both physical, mental and emotional that they don't even remember what drove them to kill in the first place to the point that they are now in crisis, like they go like Michael Douglas in Falling Down "I'm the bad guy?"
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If you've never see You're Next, you'd enjoy it. It's the premise of "you invaded the wrong fucking home," but practical instead of magical.
 
PS1gamenwatch said:
I had this crazy idea, what if they did a slasher/home invader/psycho movie only at the start they kill the wrong person as in someone they never should have killed as this said victim dabbles in the dark arts, at his last breath he puts a curse on the psychos which manifests throughout the movie, that they go through horrible pain both physical, mental and emotional that they don't even remember what drove them to kill in the first place to the point that they are now in crisis, like they go like Michael Douglas in Falling Down "I'm the bad guy?"
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strumpets exeunt said:
If you've never see You're Next, you'd enjoy it. It's the premise of "you invaded the wrong fucking home," but practical instead of magical.
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Here for Blood is another one to look at. It's more of a horror comedy, but still has that premise of killers break into a house only to find out the babysitter is not who they were expecting.
 
FatalTater said:
I would watch that.

I would love to do a horror/comedy with this premise, like a killer is cursed by a victim so then for the rest of the film every time they go to kill someone it goes a bit wrong.
Chasing someone with a chainsaw, slips on a banana peel, gets up and still gets the kill but so awkward.
Then later try to stab someone and the knife breaks so they end up strangling the victim instead.
At the end when the cops are closing in they flee only to fall into an open manhole and get stomped by ninja turtles.
Probably been done a hundred times but I haven't seen every movie ever made.
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A funnier way to end, they bump into a Steven Seagal type character who starts attacking them because they stepped on grass next to a Keep Off Grass sign in front of him.
 
After seeing many films on the bad horror channel at 3am in my teens I am left trying to remember titles all these years later.
i usually end up googling relevant words until eventually the movie shows. This can be frustrating though, with one movie phrase string just showing fucking MineCraft or terrible Frosty the Snowman shit.

Heres a couple that I did successfully find;
The Cell - 2000. the key phrase that triggered the desired results “albino dog“. Anyway this film is strange, has some beautiful imagery, and a little gore.
The Imaginarium - 2012. This one was a pain in the fucking neck to find. “Mine cart dementia mind evil snowman” was problematic, MineCraft and Frosty films were not what I was after. And even if I had recalled the title? Doctor Parnassus takes over. It was my father locating the DVD at his house rather than my persistent googling that found the answer.

In the spirit of spooky month I rewatched the Sinister movies. And one part always makes me fucking jump- the lawnmower bit. I quite enjoy these films, I think the idea of a child being used is what gives it the creepy edge.
 
I'm not the biggest fan of zombie movies, but I really enjoyed It Stains the Sands Red. It starts off morbidly funny, then there's sad backstory issues, then it segues back into funny, and then a combo between the two. The director did sort of a Rob Zombie thing by casting his wife as the lead, which he did in What Keeps You Alive, but so far, as far as I can tell, he hasn't done that in every film he's made, unlike Rob Zombie. I won't go into massive detail beyond that, just in case there are still any of you lot who want to watch it. I suppose this technically, partially belongs in Movie Recommendations, as well.

Although, I do have the opinion that Sheri-Moon Zombie gets a bit too much flack, simply because she's been in every movie her husband made, because she's actually a decent actress. My heart broke for Michael's Mom in Halloween (2007), where she was crying her eyes out, before killing herself.

@SimplyScrumptious My favourite tape, that gave me the biggest chill, was Pool Party '66. In fact, every soundtrack choice for every one of the Tapes is brilliant. I also found myself digging the inclusion of actual mythology, and Babylonian at that, where that pantheon is arguably more messed up than the Mayans/Aztecs/Incas (whatever).

The daughter was the creepiest person in the film in my eyes, and, on that note, I'll tell you another film that has a decently creepy kid who it: Blood, with Michelle Monaghan.
 
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Saw Good Boy a few hours ago and liked it. I pretty much already knew how it was going to end but "You're a great dog, but you can't save me," hit like a gut punch. At least Indy was able to live unlike the grandfather's dog.
 
Apparently the new season of Monster about Ed Gein is causing some trannies to wring their hands. I noticed this article about it titled "Monster: Ed Gein's gynophilia plot endangers real-life trans women." Here's an excerpt:

In episode 7 of Monster: The Ed Gein Story, the titular murderer finally meets his supposed hero, Christine Jorgensen, only for her to say that he's not a transsexual like she is – he's a "gynephile."

Ian Brennan and Ryan Murphy's true crime anthology series has stirred controversy, and the newest season is no different. While previous seasons have been criticized for exploiting grisly murders and portraying fictional incest plotlines, the latest season is drawing ire from the trans community for its promotion of a pseudoscientific theory that is used to scapegoat trans women.

In Monster, Jorgensen tells Gein he's a "gynophile," which means someone attracted to women. However, the show is clearly referencing autogynephilia, a paraphilia, or atypical and persistent sexual fantasy where a person is aroused at the idea of being a woman or having a woman's body. In other words, Monster is saying that Ed Gein wasn't transgender, but was simply a transvestite, or crossdresser, with a fetish for women's bodies.

This autogynephilia plotline peddles a debunked theory that has been outside of accepted science for years, while reinvigorating it. It presents a new face for this anti-trans talking point: Ed Gein.
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Here's the live article, and here's the article on archive.org.
 
He's not even talking to Jorgensen in the show. He's imagining/hallucinating the conversation. This isn't a defense of either the show or the sentiment, it's just a salient fact that's ignored (you don't hate "journalists" enough).

Also HE'S FAT! HE'S BALDING! HE'S SCARIER THAN ANYTHING IN MONSTER.

I swear, though, it's almost like the guy making these shows has an account here. I mean there's nothing out there that shows the reality of how gross, degenerate, and violent gays and troons are as well as these shows.
 
PS1gamenwatch said:
Does anyone think they would make found footage from a dog or cat's view like some pet's bodycam?
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Something like that could work for a short or part of an analog movie. That's been something that's been bugging me about a lot of modern horror movies, so many of the stories work better as short. I know a lot of them started as shorts and I liked those better.
 
I saw the Conjuring Last Rites because...I have a soft spot for these movies. Holy shit what utter dog shit. On a side note, Oculus is one of my favorite movies of all time. This...this...God I want to strangle the script writers. For your reading entertainment, my drunken rant to a friend with my thoughts on this:

It has emotion but it has no soul. They STRAIGHT UP rip off Oculus. So that alone is a fucking point against it. Fuck you James Wan. You're just going to rip off Mike Flanagan's little known masterpiece and one of my personal favorite horror movies of all time because you've run out of fun and clever things to do for these movies after 8 of them? And then you're not even going to bother doing anything fun with it, you're just going to shit on Oculus, an infinitely better movie? Am I to now believe the mirror from Oculus is sitting in Ed and Lorraine Warren's basement? No? Okay. I guess not. That would've required you to put effort into this movie and we can't have that. Let me just state, I'm an apologist for these movies. I like the idea. I like what they tried to do. But now there's 8 of them in this universe and it's time to give it up already. Ed and Lorraine aren't even alive anymore. They died in the middle of this series being made. So what do we get in this finale of a god forsaken franchise? Well, not much really. Ed and Lorraine are getting on in years. Retired, old, daughter comes home for dinner with boyfriend who wants to marry her. And for about 90 minutes we get this family trying to accept their new son in law. Which is...fine. In the background this family is being haunted but the Warren's want nothing to do with it until this movie remembers it's supposed to be a horror movie and tries to drag that back in. We're really just recreating the Greatest Hits here. The daughter is also psychic by the way. They use Annabelle for one last scare. They give a brief reminder of the Lutz's from the Amityville Horror that they didn't bother doing. They give a few nods to other things from better movies. They find the mirror and plan to take it in their basement and it kind of just goes AWOL. Then they all just...make it stop....somehow. I can't tell you what they did to the mirror because frankly, I have no clue. They just all hold hands and beat it. The wedding happens, Ed and Lorraine talk about living their golden years in peace. Kinda reads like a memoir a bit honestly, it's nice. A little tribute. In the middle of it she's like "Oh yeah we finally finish that book. It's terrible." The book caused a lawsuit for Warner Bros that held up these movies for years. They were only a little salty about it. That's it. Conjuring the Last Rites. Was it necessary? No. Is it a finale? Yeah kinda. Did James Wan give a fuck or try at all? Nooooooo. Honestly more effort went into the slideshow at the end than the rest of the movie. And I'm not kidding when I say remembers it's a horror movie, I mean it. I was counting. We didn't start the real spoopy stuff till we were 20 minutes out from credits rolling. They were done by the Nun 2 lol. I don't even think they give the demon ghost whatever a name this time.

And how much did this piece of crap make?

473 FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS. 473. THATS FUCKING SUPERMAN NUMBERS

Fuck me God almighty

It was project 50 mil on opening weekend and got 75. Fuck me dude.

Just fuck me in the anus. The global market will eat up fucking anything.

Like fuck offfffffff. They even greenlit a fucking PREQUEL. ALREADY. A FUCKING PREQUEL.

THE MOVIE HASNT EVEN LEFT THEATERS YET AND IT ALREADY GREENLIT A FUCKING PREQUEL.

fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me. God damnit. Just let these people die in fucking peace, God almighty. And no they don't give the demon a name. That's how lazy they are at this point.

They don't even let the Mirror do anything fun. The only scary thing the mirror does is in this hall of mirrors, but the mirror isn't even there. It's a completely different set of mirrors. Why have a haunted mirror when you do nothing with it?! This has become as bad as Transformers in my eyes.
 
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