How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

ilovecornsyrup said:
I do not remember what my dad looks like. My mom's face gets more blurry in my mind as time goes on. My dad tried to reach out to me last year. I admit I didnt know what to do or say because I am afraid he doesn't have much time left and I don't know what I will regret more, never really getting to know him or getting to know him and then losing him immediately after.
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Idk anything about your circumstances, but I would guess you'd regret not even trying to get to know him more. The pain of losing your dad soon after getting reacquainted might be strong, but I think knowing you lost the opportunity to know him at all would be greater.
 
didn't show up to work yesterday. stayed in bed and only got up to either drink water or piss it out. ill go in today if only to tell my boss that past the current schedule to not schedule me anymore. i like him so i want to give him opportunity to fill my spot. i'm packing a to go bag and an exit bag, ha. we'll see which one i feel like using by the time im unemployed/ i know you should give yourself ample time between the thought and the decision because msot time it passes, so. finally tired enough or attention seeking? feels like the former but probably the latter. that's all anyone ever thinks of me. i didn't know they thought so little of me after even after i've worked so hard, even those who were saying otherwise to me face. you actually can't trust anyone haha
 
Woke up this morning to a toilet issue. wtf, like I need this shit. (literally)

Broke a mounting bolt, flat off. Had to call my dad, and ask him how to fix it, as I am no plumbing expert.

Took us both several hours to tear it all apart. reset the ring, and set the toilet into position to sink the bolts.

This is why plumbers get paid what they do. that shit sucked.
 
Norms Abused Liver said:
Woke up this morning to a toilet issue. wtf, like I need this shit. (literally)

Broke a mounting bolt, flat off. Had to call my dad, and ask him how to fix it, as I am no plumbing expert.

Took us both several hours to tear it all apart. reset the ring, and set the toilet into position to sink the bolts.

This is why plumbers get paid what they do. that shit sucked.
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Toilets do indeed, suck. :smug:
 
My cousin's baby was born yesterday around midnight.
Now one of my coworker and his fiancee had their kid.

Lots of baby fever around.
 
Otterly said:
This resonates. Kind of how I feel. Dancing around the pit, a normal veneer and utterly broken under it.

You must be exhausted. Don’t beat yourself up about not bring cheerily grateful for everything, while it’s good to take perspective it’s hard to live like that. You do have a tough situation.
I hope he continues to stabilise and improve, and you get that response soon. Take care of yourself as well, after stuff like this there’s an adrenaline crash.
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oh for sure, i already slept like 12 hours straight...seriously, that was absolutely by far the most traumatic experience ive lived through, thus far...and i hope to god it never happens again, at least not like this.its just crazy that things can seem alright, and then the worst thing in the world ( to that individual person) can happen out of nowhere.
==
on another note....oh my god. last night, my husband and i, and our other kids went out for a bit to this arcade/whatever, like a chuck e cheese on crack..
.anyway, my kid was waiting in line for to play this game, when i noticed this creepy little man staring at this child...and i swear he was positively leering, at least to me..so my STUPID ASS goes up the mom of the girl and i said "excuse me, do you know that MAN over there?? he has been staring at your child for the past 5 minutes"
shes like yes.
THATS MY HUSBAND.
she was pissed. :lossmanjack: :lossmanjack: :lossmanjack: :lossmanjack:
i truly thought it was some random perv checking out the kids, i never ever would insult a stranger this way....i still say he looked and was acting like a creep, but holy shit im great at putting my foot in my mouth...!!!!
 
Cups2Cups said:
This is going to be vague-- Today I finally let go a piece of me that I held onto for over maybe 20-something years. It was something at the beginning of my adult life that helped me build a pillar that shaped me as person, and no matter how bad things got, I remembered what good I did thanks to this one thing and made the world a slightly better place. The world changed however and when I woke up from my corporate-like slumber a few years back I was not where I was supposed to be. I went back to the place I remembered as something that was good for me, only it had changed to cater to the next generation, and it rejected me, and it broke my pillar, and everything I understood about anything fell apart.

I tried to rebuild this pillar, but like the past it has turned to dust and there was no fixing it. Today I let it go. I now feel slightly better but inside I am now an empty person, and I do not know what I stand for anymore. Fear of the unknown grips me, but it was like that in the beginning when I first left home.

On slightly uplifting news I got a new job. I can't wait to start this next journey and see what the next couple of years will be like, new and exciting opportunities? We will see.
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I truly like, hate to be a dickhole, but you kind of didn't say anything. At all. Woe is me and all that. Sorry, I'll collect my top hats, but...yeah. I just don't care and neither will anyone else.

"Life's hard" Get a helmet.

As for the new job, 'grats. No, really! Being unemployed is awful. Being as how I dunno your age (and don't want to know), can I offer some serious advice?

whatever job you get, KEEP IT. even if you hate your job, your manager, your customers....do your job and do it well. make sure you leave that fucker with a positive reference. Doesn't matter what your job is,do it well.
 
the khat quaffer said:
I truly like, hate to be a dickhole, but you kind of didn't say anything. At all. Woe is me and all that. Sorry, I'll collect my top hats, but...yeah. I just don't care and neither will anyone else.
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Oh sorry next time I'll be more verbose and dox everyone. Because that's not a more petty thing to do other then do what resulted in me losing my job in the first place via someone else's criminal activity. What's more funny though, it hurt the very person you thought was in danger and harmed my own nephew.

What's really funny though is only a year later, it was found that douchebag who was being protected from my finger pointing was found to be fucking with all the other women in the workplace and it was discovered I was right all along.

Go fuck yourselves.
 
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Cups2Cups said:
I do not know what I stand for anymore. Fear of the unknown grips me, but it was like that in the beginning when I first left home.
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I think this is something that happens to us all as we live, and why you’re feeling now is the emptiness when you realise it. What can happen is you then find something new, and there’s a process of growth and rearrangement. And hopefully, if you’re very lucky, eventually, happiness, or fulfilment or understanding.
Make sure you don’t fill that void with unhealthy stuff. Keep your eyes open for things that spark a curiosity or hope in you. It’s rare to find something total but sometimes little breadcrumbs appear and lead you somewhere different.
 
Fucking one thing after another. My MIL has been diagnosed with Parkinson's, so tomorrow the family is getting together for a dinner. I have already committed, I did it before my brain could talk me out of it but my anxiety is already getting out of hand. I will have to bring my own supper and I'm already thinking of all the annoying/insensitive comments my SIL will make, because she focuses on what I'm having and she will ask me if I can eat every individual part of their meal and then she loudly makes a big fuss and announces to anyone nearby what a shame it is.
My eating habits are not a choice, and there are a lot of foods which make me sick, so I stick with what works and she makes me anxious and ashamed so this is why I avoid events.
I think husband is having a lot of mixed emotions over his mother's diagnosis and I'm giving him space while trying to be supportive when he wants to tell me about how he's feeling. This is a lot for him.

I've almost finished folding my laundry, I got down to socks and I got distracted and stopped. i fucking loath fitted sheets, fuck fitted sheets I hate struggling to put them back on.

I've made another IRL friend, yay! When we arrived in the city I remember telling husband about having a lot of anxiety over making small talk. It's so friggin easy and most people don't even seem to notice if you're equally bad at it so I kept working at it while also working on my confidence. If you bullshit about anything with confidence then other people will assume you know more than you actually do
Go forth and ramble with confidence!
I am also practicing on social cues, that's another important one. I just have to keep at it and it seems to become easier and less scary.
 
Spent the day with my parents and my older brother joined us for dinner. It was a good day, even if I would have liked to have gone for a longer walk with the dogs but I didn't because I couldn't get a good read on the weather.
At least I got the tea my parents like and I helped making onion chutney, so I just took a shower to get rid of the onion funk I've been soaked in for the later half of today.
I had a good session yesterday with my psychologist, and I feel as prepared as I can be for my last appointment at the psych ward on monday but as I type this out I realised my mother and I forgot to sit down and talk about important details and questions to ask of the staff.
We'll do that tomorrow, I cba to call her now after an action filled day. If I'm exhausted, she must be doubly so.
I also forgot to thank my father for helping me with my lawn and my drain. orz.
 
obsdj said:
I got a double-yolker when I cracked my morning egg into the pan. I am cautiously optimistic that this means today will be a good day. Sometimes, it's the little things.

...Most times, really.
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Had my third double-yolker of the week this morning, and the days have been, if not spectacular, pretty good (despite my allergies wrecking me). The eggs will eventually run out, but maybe the good days don't have to. Hoping for the same for the rest of you autists. 😊
 
Otterly said:
I think this is something that happens to us all as we live, and why you’re feeling now is the emptiness when you realise it. What can happen is you then find something new, and there’s a process of growth and rearrangement. And hopefully, if you’re very lucky, eventually, happiness, or fulfilment or understanding.
Make sure you don’t fill that void with unhealthy stuff. Keep your eyes open for things that spark a curiosity or hope in you. It’s rare to find something total but sometimes little breadcrumbs appear and lead you somewhere different.
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Thank you stranger. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel that is indeed the right thing to say. Maybe I am just freaking out because I feel like everything and everyone is the enemy and my own mental state feels like its deteriorating from fear.

And boy, fear is indeed a mind killer.
 
Practicing Christianity. I was Agnostic for half of my life and have been researching Christian thought. Working through the bible and reunited with a friend who is a devout Catholic Christian. Life feels good for me. :)
 
Just when I think the worst of the allergy period is over, some other pollen shows up. An aggravation, even with taking all the various meds. When it's warm enough enjoy leaving the front door open, with a screen hanging over it. But that lets in pollen, so not a good idea, have to watch how long windows are open to let cooking smells and shower steam out. Have to limit tine outside when not actively walking. The walking seems to produce some sort of natural anihistamines that keep allergies at bay while walking. Things could always be worse.

Getting into anniversaries now...First part of the month was two years since pacemakers were installed, early May will be 14 years since open-heart surgery, and June makes five years since the spinal fusion. Have had other things but these three are the biggest. Net result - still alive and functional, 71 in a couple of months.
 
Banquet Meal said:
oh for sure, i already slept like 12 hours straight...seriously, that was absolutely by far the most traumatic experience ive lived through, thus far...and i hope to god it never happens again, at least not like this.its just crazy that things can seem alright, and then the worst thing in the world ( to that individual person) can happen out of nowhere.
==
on another note....oh my god. last night, my husband and i, and our other kids went out for a bit to this arcade/whatever, like a chuck e cheese on crack..
.anyway, my kid was waiting in line for to play this game, when i noticed this creepy little man staring at this child...and i swear he was positively leering, at least to me..so my STUPID ASS goes up the mom of the girl and i said "excuse me, do you know that MAN over there?? he has been staring at your child for the past 5 minutes"
shes like yes.
THATS MY HUSBAND.
she was pissed. :lossmanjack: :lossmanjack: :lossmanjack: :lossmanjack:
i truly thought it was some random perv checking out the kids, i never ever would insult a stranger this way....i still say he looked and was acting like a creep, but holy shit im great at putting my foot in my mouth...!!!!
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Don't sweat it, much better to be safe than sorry. Frankly needs to happen more often. A lot of these fucks do what they do because parents don't call them out or report them to the authorities.
 
Wolf Girl Enjoyer said:
Practicing Christianity. I was Agnostic for half of my life and have been researching Christian thought. Working through the bible and reunited with a friend who is a devout Catholic Christian. Life feels good for me. :)
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Which denomination are you trying to practice? Catholicism?
 
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