How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Autumnal Equinox said:
Not a good feeling finding out someone you thought was a friend essentially just saw you as something to amuse themselves with. Really messes with you trying to figure out why they went to those lengths. If I don’t like someone, I stay polite unless they give me a reason not to but I keep them at arm’s length, I don’t pretend to befriend them and shit talk them behind their back because that’s an incredibly cruel and shitty thing to do
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A song for those feels.
 
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Watched this short animation made me feel something I’ve been feeling a lot lately during lockdown in an oddly comforting way like I am not the only one feeling this sometimes. Looking back there are so many phases and hitches when plans fail or there is a modicum of success in our lives without much of a yield for change or forward momentum. I feel that but at the same time I am grateful for what I have and that I can explore the things I enjoy doing. I just hope I don’t end up miserable like the man here at the end, back at square one or the zero point.

Edit: I always imagine how strange it would be to have gained it all even for a brief moment a title, wealth and fame and then to descend back to a zero point how much more miserable that would be like when someone wins the lottery and pisses away their good fortune on a house they can’t afford and frivolous trips to Vegas.
 
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I’m officially a graduate now. It doesn’t feel any different at all. But I’m glad it’s over. One day I’d like to pursue a masters’ degree too, but after I take some time and make a lot more money. For now I have to find some kind of job. Dunno if I can find anything relevant to my degree but I need money so I’m not too picky. I have a small art gig that can cover my bare minimum expenses but I want to actually save up for things.

I also visited my parents. The longer I’ve been moved out, the more I really appreciate them. Growing up, they had a lot of annoying habits and were a bit pack-ratty. Like living with annoying room mates if that makes sense. But now that I live away visiting them is nice. I can just chat and talk about what’s up. Plus I always enjoy visiting the family dog. That old girl is so sweet and I miss having a dog around.
 
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>/r9k/ told me that a bf would solve my problems
>get cute (e)bf
>literally feel nothing despite him being exactly my type
I must be schizoid or some shit. Why the fuck am I like this.
 
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I made a pretty big move to get out of the US at the time I'd been living in MN and I honestly hated it, people there are all passive aggressive shitheads. That and the riots shutting down the city every other week, I remember seeing concrete slabs and wondering if it was a new building project only to come to realize that was what was left of a mcdonalds. I hadn't been out other than to shop and even then I had been getting stuff shipped to my house for over a year. Now I'm out of the states I feel out of practice talking to people and in most cases I try just to avoid it, even my current landlord told his son he thought I was lonely and he wanted him to help me fit in here. I don't miss many people in the states as by halfway through ronna I was only talking to online friends and I still am as connected with them now as I was then. I still stay very much up to date with Us politics, at this point it's like fantasy football for me. It's so crazy and I spent so much time caring it's hard to put it down, I'm not stupid enough to start getting back into it here, besides it's just not as fun.
 
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Had said:
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I made a pretty big move to get out of the US at the time I'd been living in MN and I honestly hated it, people there are all passive aggressive shitheads. That and the riots shutting down the city every other week, I remember seeing concrete slabs and wondering if it was a new building project only to come to realize that was what was left of a mcdonalds. I hadn't been out other than to shop and even then I had been getting stuff shipped to my house for over a year. Now I'm out of the states I feel out of practice talking to people and in most cases I try just to avoid it, even my current landlord told his son he thought I was lonely and he wanted him to help me fit in here. I don't miss many people in the states as by halfway through ronna I was only talking to online friends and I still am as connected with them now as I was then. I still stay very much up to date with Us politics, at this point it's like fantasy football for me. It's so crazy and I spent so much time caring it's hard to put it down, I'm not stupid enough to start getting back into it here, besides it's just not as fun.
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What is the flag with the black? Are you a Cossack now?
 
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Thought I was gradually getting over what happened to me a week ago but judging from the vivid nightmares that started a few nights ago, that doesn't appear to actually be happening.
Grateful that I finally start my new job next week so I will have something to occupy my thoughts with during the day.
 
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