How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

I've had two dates with a really sweet guy and it's really fucking with me. I'm not used to guys being nice to me and letting me talk about the stupid shit I'm into and having actual conversations. On our first date I talked about L. Ron Hubbard for like 20 minutes and he was hanging on my every word. I told him I was reading a book about infectious diseases and I'd tell him all about it when I finished it. On our second date few days later I asked him if he'd heard about Havana Syndrome and he went "Ooh, the infectious diseases you were talking about?!" What the fuck! He actually remembered!

Of course, after this all of my exes decided to show up in one way or another. My high school boyfriend who I've only talked to once in the last 8 or 9 years messaged me to tell me how bad he's doing and how suicidal he is. The ex after him texted thirsting after me. And my most recent ex's brother messaged me today asking if I've heard from him because apparently he was released from the psych ward and nobody knows where he went. So that kind of ruined my day and required a shit ton of beer so I could pass out and not think about it.

Everything's weird.
 
Which meds?

I'm not entirely sure on the names, as they're all generic brands that use the scientific terms. I have one that's anti depressent/ anxiety at the highest dose. I have a booster for that which I take twice a day. I have hormonal birth control because my hormones are shit, and melatonin to help sleep. I also have vitamins but those are just vitamins
 
I'm not entirely sure on the names, as they're all generic brands that use the scientific terms. I have one that's anti depressent/ anxiety at the highest dose. I have a booster for that which I take twice a day. I have hormonal birth control because my hormones are shit, and melatonin to help sleep. I also have vitamins but those are just vitamins
I must been the only kid in my school that wasnt on pills, half were on some kind of benzos, others on antidepresants like sertraline which only made them fat and hyper.

What you on? whats that booster? adderall?
 
I must been the only kid in my school that wasnt on pills, half were on some kind of benzos, others on antidepresants like sertraline which only made them fat and hyper.

What you on? whats that booster? adderall?

I got prescribed them in sixth grade.

I'm not sure, really. I don't remember the names, but I know none of them are any of the addictive things. But they are dangerous to stop taking
 
I got prescribed them in sixth grade.

I'm not sure, really. I don't remember the names, but I know none of them are any of the addictive things. But they are dangerous to stop taking
Bro how can you take any meds without even knowing the names let alone the side effects? I remember this guy in college who was given an anxiety med and the side-effects were anxiety which he got so much due to the pills he go caught with a knife trying to kill himself
 
Bro how can you take any meds without even knowing the names let alone the side effects? I remember this guy in college who was given an anxiety med and the side-effects were anxiety which he got so much due to the pills he go caught with a knife trying to kill himself

At this point I'm just going through the motions. I knew at one point, but taking my medicine has become almost robotic. I know the side effects, which does include suicidal thoughts, possibly. But the thing about that is im a coward.
 
I had some really bad news recently.

A friend of mine some years back lost his hands in an accident and has been depressed ever since. He gave up on life and tried to kill himself by hanging but failed.

He couldn't tie the rope.
I don't know whether to laugh or not, this is some dark humour shit.

Too bad about your friend though.
 
I’m doing a little bit better but I’m still going through a crazy amount of anxiety. The good news is that I’ve met an older lady who has moved into a smaller house, she is paying me to help her move in and has been someone I can confide in about my parent’s marriage and other stresses I have. She is recently a widow and is still grieving from it, but she told me that me helping her with unpacking things has been extremely helpful for her well-being because she’s not feeding her depression. Being a young woman, I’m happy an older lady has taken me under her wing.
 
Technically I am. See, she's the same actually, we both tried to talk as much as possible the day before. I'm more concerned because she isn't allowed to contact me. On top of that, I have severe abandonment issues.

On top of that, I have the tism and one of my things is schedules. This throws that off.
Ok. I'm gonna say it: you're being dumb about this.

Internet girlfriend, lives in a state far away from you, is an adult, is controlled by their parents, is dating you in secret, is very sick to the point of being unable to move for work or study, but is now on a vacation.
You kinda want to make a plan to rescue her from her parents and bring her to live with your parents. And you're emotional over her being gone for a day.

Have you even met her in person?
 
Back