How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[cybertoaster]

My car got stolen, it wasn't anything fancy and I got insurance but still I liked that car and its a shame that it ended like that, not that I know since they haven't found it yet but its been most likely torn apart or set on fire by this point.

 

[Betonhaus]

I'm still trying to find work, which is tricky as my previous career path isn't really open but i don't have the work experience to work elsewhere. From prior experience I could easily get a job in construction, only to lose it within weeks because my fat ass can't keep up.

 

[Anonitolia]

d'y'know those days?
like, the ones where you just wake up with no real thoughts besides some vague malaise in your brain and spend the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing save for maybe feeling sorry for yourself for 0 explicit or sensible reason?
today's one of those

 

[thebigjoel]

Checkpoint 5/24/2023

I've been getting into low-frequency radio and numbers stations. I've even started to keep a journal of every code I hear on the US Airforce channel. I doubt I'll uncover anything more than a bunch of letters spoken in the NATO alphabet, but I like the process of chilling out, listening to music, then when I hear a fuck ton of static and "all stations, stand by " I know I'm in for a good time.

Amateur radio is an expensive hobby, so I've been switching between a few WebSDR instances. I think that's the best way to do it, because you get recording, squelching (auto-mute interference and noise), a chatbox (ripoff of sneedchat probably) and I can be comfy on my computer.

/pol/ used to have some Skyking threads, but they've fizzled out. That was the only reason I've ever been to /pol/, to be honest. Petition for Kiwi Farms Skyking thread!

That is all. Fog Count out.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I ate a pizza this morning, now I'm feeling with nausea for the last five hours. I feel like I could die at any moment.

Also, my sleep schedule got severely screwed up in the last couple of days.

 

[Hepativore]

I am getting so fucking sick of having to access Kiwi Farms on Tor. It is slow as hell most of the time. It feels like being trapped in some sort of internet prison dimension.



I know that Null is trying his best, but damn Liz Fong-Jones and his troon platoon!

 

[Larry Potterfield]

I realized the other day I've pretty much become a walking stereotype of small town America. I went from talking about video games with my friends to chatting with everyone in town about their lawns, their crops and all the other shit. I know all the people in the stores and shoot the shit with them. Hell, one of my neighbors gave me a bunch of steak the other day and asked me to help him cut down a dead tree on his lawn. 4 years ago I probably would've laughed if you told me this was how I'd end up. Can't say I regret it, though.

 

[Betonhaus]

I got a job that starts monday. I'll be telemarketing which i haven't done before so i need to see how well I do.

 

[Matt Damon]

I had my first epileptic seizure in four years the other day.

They really, really, really suck - I woke up feeling like I got my ass kicked while doing the world's most extreme workout, fell on my face awkwardly, bit down on my tongue hard, had a skull-splitting headache, and was horribly nauseated. I couldn't eat right, couldn't talk right, walked with a terrible limp because the fall hurt my knee and ankle, and had periodic memory lapses and generally didn't feel right mentally for several days.

I really was starting to think I'd gone into total remission with these things. I didn't start having them until I was almost 30 and that's the prime demographic for having epilepsy just go away for no particular reason. But no such luck.

 

[Star Platinum]

not doing well. spent time with family over the last few days and i realized i don't have anything to talk about anymore except for work (who tf wants to talk about that) and my chronic pain (who tf wants to talk about that). in real life, i try hard to follow the "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all" rule, and so i found myself awfully quiet the whole time. i've never experienced that before.

it's so over, bros

 

[Betonhaus]

not doing well. spent time with family over the last few days and i realized i don't have anything to talk about anymore except for work (who tf wants to talk about that) and my chronic pain (who tf wants to talk about that). in real life, i try hard to follow the "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all" rule, and so i found myself awfully quiet the whole time. i've never experienced that before.

it's so over, bros

...visit an animal rescue and see if one plucks your heartstrings?

 

[Sniperwoof]

Another girl I knew in high school OD'd. This is like number 12. I know it's a small town and that's pretty much the fate of anyone not smart or ambitious enough to move away but it still sucks to hear.

 

[Cats]

Another girl I knew in high school OD'd. This is like number 12. I know it's a small town and that's pretty much the fate of anyone not smart or ambitious enough to move away but it still sucks to hear.

This reminded me of that documentary Oxyana

I am starting to think that humans just don't do well in certain versions of the modern lives we live. I have some pretty radical feelings on drugs in general despite not being a user myself (though I have been in the past - got caught up right before the "opioid crisis" in pain management where I was getting insane levels of pills prescribed and it took years to cut that crap out of my life) but I don't wanna derail the thread and turn it into a divisive argument.

It's been a long time since I have felt bad or sad and everything is going fairly well so I don't really wanna think about depressing shit either. Sorry to hear about your friend

 

[Tequila Jong]

I've been pretty miserable lately tbh, and I'm drinking far too much. It's almost entirely due to working mornings and evenings, six days a week at a job I absolutely detest. I'm handing in my months notice, either this evening or tomorrow morning, and looking for something else. I imagine I'll feel a lot better after doing so.

I've been getting into low-frequency radio and numbers stations.

You've probably seen this already but this is the one I piss around with more often than not - http://websdr.printf.cc:8901/ - If you have any other instances worth checking out, drop me a line sometime and let me know. (Link is at UVB-76 - The Buzzer)

 

[thebigjoel]

If you have any other instances worth checking out, drop me a line sometime and let me know. (Link is at UVB-76 - The Buzzer)

The Buzzer is classic, lol. You should also look into Priyom, they have a big list of numbers stations and which times to tune in. As I said before, the US Airforce EAMs are a treat, too.

 

[Scolopendra Dramatica]

Another girl I knew in high school OD'd. This is like number 12. I know it's a small town and that's pretty much the fate of anyone not smart or ambitious enough to move away but it still sucks to hear.

Jesus, small town kids are taking a hammering through the modern era. I work a public facing job in a small seaside bongtown and it ain't much better here; every week I hear of some kid topping themselves, ODing, running away or trooning out. I can't wait for the pendulum to swing and see the return of family and community, we all fuckin need it.

On a happier note I've finally gotten myself off of SSRI's and, holy shit, I'd forgotten what an emotional range felt like. I've even been creative like I was as a kid again, shits been wild!

Bit TMI, but I'd also forgotten what a bloody nuisance a fully functioning sex drive was like; don't do drugs kids, especially one's given to you by crooked doctors that just want you to shut up rather than deal with your actual issues. Now I've got a long road of relearning how I work whilst my poor brain heals (or tries to) any damage done.

I've gotta wonder if they flood the market with them to keep people slow, muggy, unreactive and unmotivated. Vaguely good for depression, but really good at keeping the proles away from the guillotine building equipment.

 

[KittyGremlin]

Me? Fucking great.

This guy:

Not so much.

 

[Asian tech support]

Pretty good. New Kalmah album came out today, I ordered two new monitors, and I'm going down to microcenter tomorrow to pick up a power supply.

Thank God for the holiday weekend though; I've got a particularly annoying job scheduled for next thursday/friday and if it goes well, there's gonna be more of it in the future.

 

[Star Platinum]

...visit an animal rescue and see if one plucks your heartstrings?

i already did that when the symptoms started. i love my little guys but they drive me nuts. i'm not as lonely but i used to take pride in how clean and orderly my apartment was and that's impossible to maintain now.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Quite good. Weather got nice recently so I'm toiling on the yard after nobody touched it in decades.

Same. Not decades, but a few years. I have been spending hours after work everyday (on the days when work actually ends) raking out beds and other plantings choking on last fall's leaves crushed together by record snow this winter. I'm hauling leaves, lopping branches, and dreading what to do about the invasive trees fucking with my woods.

Already did everything I could with the few power tools I have (well, a saw and a chainsaw) so now I roleplay a medieval peasant with a shovel trying to shape this place to my liking.

I like this medieval peasant role play idea. I wear flared elbow-length suede/leather work gloves for yardwork (I hate you, poison ivy) that, though pink, kind of work for the role. Maybe instead of chill house I'll find some lute-based Renaissance music for my airpods and see how it goes.

I haven't slept a single night uninterrupted by something or other since November 2021. Mama is fucking tired.

You have my sympathies. Pro tip: it gets easier once they're in college.

d'y'know those days?
like, the ones where you just wake up with no real thoughts besides some vague malaise in your brain and spend the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing save for maybe feeling sorry for yourself for 0 explicit or sensible reason?
today's one of those

Hate those. IME, those days are very often days when I'm dreading or fearing something and haven't quite realized it. I either give in to it or, increasingly, counter by forcing myself to do something - anything - productive, even if by productive I mean some hobby or an extremely minor task that improves my environment. The other week I spent an ungodly amount of time polishing silver (while watching Korean crime dramas); on the scale of urgency/priorities, it's close to the bottom, but it got me doing *something*, and the result was shiny stuff I no longer felt guilty for allowing to tarnish. And generally I also remind myself I'm "allowed" to experience malaise for no reason, rather than having to turn it into an endless, ruminating self-critique. Tl; dr: depending on how strong it is, roll with it or combat it - either is OK.

As for me, I'm doing quite well (yay). Underslept and lots to do but I'm moving through it, and am confident about some upcoming heavy lifts - they won't be easy or pleasant, but I will execute.

Current concern is boundaries with a colleague/acquaintance/ possible new friend who is a fucking swamp of despair and angst, and though I wouldn't mind a new friend, I cannot will not sacrifice my own hard-won emotional resilience and boundaries to take on someone else's pain/problems (old habit). We are supposed to get together for brunch or something this weekend, and I think I need to set a hard stop time ahead of time and have somewhere to be. I've been consistent in indicating a limited tolerance and she will typically stop when I'm not taking up the role of Agony Aunt...I just want to make sure I'm solid enough in my boundaries to do the same in person as by phone. I'm OK to empathize, just honestly don't want to know every detail, nor do I want to "fix it," nor do I want my own past miasma of despair to come back in living color and affect my good space.